Brokenhearted (5/?)
After a few minutes of trivial small talk, my pager goes off and I excuse myself. I head into the consult room to study the x-rays Avery hands me. “Patient’s in the OR. Dr Shepherd’s performing a craniotomy and Dr Hunt and Grey are repairing his spleen.”
“Alright. You’re scrubbing in with me. Go ahead, I’ll be there in a minute,” I tell him, desperately searching my mind for a way to get Lexie out of there. It wouldn’t benefit our patient if two of his surgeons were distracted and jittery while they were knuckle-deep inside his body. I let out a sigh of relief when I spot Bailey by the board. “Bailey!”
She looks around at the sound of her name and raises her eyebrows to indicate that she’s listening. I hesitate, weighing my words carefully. Before I can say anything, she shakes her head and starts walking away. “Nu-uh. I know that face. The last time you had that face, I had to deal with charts…lots and lots of charts, scheduling surgeries, assigning nurses and a mountain of YOUR paperwork. I’m an ATTENDING and a single mother. I’ve got enough problems of my own, I don’t need your drama interfering with my life.” I have to run to keep with her. The woman is fast for someone so short. “Come on, Bailey,” I whine, “this is nothing like taking over my Chief Resident duties. All I need you to do is page Little Grey.”
“I don’t need Little Grey.” She keeps walking at the same breakneck speed. I grab hold of her arm to stop her, but quickly let go when she gives me her infamous Bailey look. “Please. There has to be something she can do for you.” I plead. “Fine. Why do you - never mind, I don’t wanna know.” She turns around and walks away. I relax and head for the OR, patiently waiting around the corner until I see Lexie walking out. I head inside and scrub in. With nobody in the OR to remind me of my problems, I settle in next to Owen and get to work.
Back in the scrub room, I ask Owen if he minds taking Cristina to his place tonight. I know I can’t put off talking to Arizona any longer. I don’t know if I can forgive her, yet. But I have to talk to her, let her explain. As much as I hate to admit it, I missed having her in my arms last night. I missed her blonde locks tickling my nose, her soft snores lulling me to sleep. I even missed her hogging all the covers and her grouchiness in the morning. Plus, my back is killing me from sleeping on an old mattress in a dingy basement. Even now, I wish I could run up to the peds floor and watch her play with one of the kids or tell a parent their child is going to live. It physically hurts to be apart from her, but seeing her now would hurt me even more. Our little chat earlier was familiar yet painfully awkward. My hand ached to grab a hold of hers, but then I remembered what I had seen it holding. My mind screamed for an explanation, but my heart was afraid it couldn’t handle the strain. But tonight, I would find out. Tonight, I will listen. Tonight…I will decide.
I grab a cup of coffee and a bagel and head for the lounge with a stack of charts. I immerse myself in paperwork for the next couple of hours. It’s boring and not at all challenging. But I don’t have to deal with anybody so it’s exactly what I need. Fortunately nobody disturbs me and I even get a head start on a paper I’m writing for the Journal of the American Osteopathic Association. It’s only fair I share my wealth of knowledge with those eager to learn. All in all, I feel pretty accomplished at the end of my shift. As I head to my apartment, I feel prepared for whatever she has to say.
My senses are flooded when I open the door to my apartment. There’s soft music playing, scented candles combined with what smells like orange chicken creating a lovely aroma and Arizona looking more beautiful than ever in a delectable low-cut dress. I close the door and raise my eyebrows, unimpressed and a little annoyed. What she did would take a lot more than some romantic music and chicken to fix. She sees my eyes linger on the food. “I know, I know…this doesn’t fix anything. It’s just…I know you haven’t eaten today. I basically stalked the cafeteria all day long…So I tried to cook you a nice meal, but…,” she points to the sink where I spot a wok with what looks like the contents of 50 ash trays inside. “That ended up being a disaster. I only had time to quickly stop by Panda Express before you came home. And the candles were to cover up the burnt smell. And this,” she waves her hand over her dress self consciously, “well I figured looking all cute and sexy couldn’t hurt..right?” She shifts nervously.
I nod to acknowledge that I heard her and take off my coat and shoes. When I don’t speak, she continues. “Cristina dropped by to pick up some things and told me you asked Owen to clear out. I took that to mean you’re ready to talk and I’m glad, Calliope,” she moves closer and I turned around and head for the couch. She doesn’t follow me. “I know what you think you saw, but I didn’t cheat on you.” I snort. Right, her boob just happened to land on your hand…”You have to believe me, Calliope.” I finally look into her eyes and the sincerity I see in those blue orbs makes me want to believe her. it makes me want to listen to what she has to say. It gives me hope…that maybe, maybe there is a reasonable explanation. I pat the spot on the couch beside me. She wastes no time hesitating, quickly moving to the stereo to shut off the music before taking a seat next to me. “Rose asked me for a consult.”
I raise my eyebrows skeptically. “The last time I checked, children were not allowed to assist in the OR. So unless you changed your specialty, I don’t see why she would come to you for a consult.” I say harsher than I intended. I meant for this to go civilly. Arizona doesn’t let my attitude faze her. “She’s one of my best scrub nurses and a friend. I’m probably not supposed to tell you this,” I turn to look at her sharply and she hurriedly continues, “but Rose has breast implants. And she noticed that one seemed to be deflating. She wanted to make sure she wasn’t imagining things before making an appointment with her doctor.”
“Why didn’t she go to Sloan?” I ask quizzically. “She was embarrassed because he’s Derek’s best friend and she has a history with him.” I want to believe her, I really do…but there are so many things that don’t add up. Why did she have the consult in Arizona’s office? Arizona seems to sense my doubts. “Look Calliope,” she starts, taking my hands in hers. I don’t pull away. “Everybody at the hospital is on edge and working their butts off, especially the nurses. She hasn’t had time to see her doctor and she didn’t want to take a day off unless absolutely necessary. You know how the gossip mill works…she didn’t want to see a plastic surgeon at Seattle Grace, but she trusts me.” I nod slowly and let out a deep breath. “You weren’t wearing gloves. ” I say, but the last of my doubt has left my voice. She hears it too and shoots me a bright smile before sobering up and explaining. “I know, that’s…I have no excuse for that. I’m sorry. I should have…She came into my office with the request and I don’t keep gloves in my office. But she was desperate and I…I just wanted to help. It was inappropriate and I’m really really sorry. But you have to know…I would never betray you, Calliope. I love you.”
The steel fist around my heart relaxes its grip and for the first time since the incident, I truly look at her. Our heads slowly gravitate towards each other and I eagerly anticipate the feel of her lips against mine. Suddenly I remember something else and back away. The look of disappointment on her face is so cute, I have to resist the urge to lean in and kiss her anyway. I need answers first though.
“You were smoking. Yesterday…you were smoking. I smelled It on you and I thought…,” I falter, “I was sure you were smoking because you had to tell me you and Rose were…” I trail off, unable to finish the sentence. “And when I touched you…you flinched. When George…and Izzie…he did the same thing when I kissed him…” I look away.
To my surprise, she starts laughing. “Oh that. Well uhh…Bailey and I were working on a patient together and I sort of tricked her into getting a make over” Arizona giggled. Oh that explained why Bailey was so pissy earlier, even more than usual. “It was funny at first but then I got a little scared so…I snuck out and had a smoke.” She looks down guiltily. “When I came back inside, she was walking to the desk so I quickly ducked behind a supply cart and accidentally hit my mouth against a stack of sample cups.” She blushed adorably. I bite back a laugh. “But then…what did you want to talk to me about?” I ask confusedly.
“Oh. I’m not sure now is the right ti - “ I fix her with a look. “Well, since we’re clearing the air anyway…I was going to ask you what you thought about us…moving in together?” she says hesitantly. Oh, wow. I did not see that one coming. “But, we don’t have to talk about it now! I mean, you can think about it…it’s been a long day. For both of us.” I nod in agreement. We sit in comfortable silence for a minute and I think back to earlier that day, in the elevator. I shift uncomfortably and take my hand out of hers. She looks at me curiously and I avert my eyes. “I-I’m sorry about before…in the elevator. I uh…I shouldn’t have…I’m sorry if I hurt you or…” She cups my cheeks and forces me to look at her. “Hey, it’s okay…I understand. You were hurt and angry…In case you didn’t notice, I did enjoy it somewhat.” She finishes jokingly, but I don’t smile back. “You were crying, when I left…you were crying.”
“I was crying because I was afraid I’d lost you. I was scared and frustrated because you wouldn’t let me explain. You didn’t…you didn’t hurt me, okay?” I nod, unconvinced. She closes the distance between us and kisses me softly. It feels like I haven’t kissed her like this in forever, even though it’s only been a day. I can’t believe I thought this would all be over. That I’d lost her for good. I can’t believe I thought her capable of disloyalty. I moan as the kiss deepens and Arizona leans in against me, backing me down on the couch. Her hand trails along my arm, causing goose bumps to erupt all over my skin. I smile happily, relieved that this big misunderstanding was all cleared up. Just one hour ago, I was prepared to end this relationship and now…Arizona wants to move in with me, I think giddily. I decide to stop thinking so much and concentrate on the task at hand. As my hand moves up to sneak under Arizona’s dress, the door suddenly bursts open. Arizona jumps off of me and I dazedly turn around to glare at whoever interrupted our imminent make up sex.
“I know you’re my boss and you’re hot and…tall. But if you think you can just kiss my boyfriend whenever you feel like it, you are sorely mistaken!”