Fic: when the stars fall
Title: when the stars fall
Fandom/Pairing: Glee/Klaine break up fic
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: just under 2000
Summary: Sometimes you have to zig when life expects you to zag.
Notes: This written because of my immense dissatisfaction that Klaine made it through the season, more or less intact. But what if Kurt made the choice to leave anyway? I didn't post this to any comms, because I'm sure the Klaine fans would murder me and there aren't technically any other pairings. I wrote this months ago, but I'm posting it on my lj now because I want it archived here.
“You didn't get in?” Blaine is standing with a confused look on his face, staring at Kurt.
“See for yourself,” Kurt said, handing over his rejection letter. He didn't want it anymore, anyway. It felt like the death knell on his Broadway career.
“That's...Kurt, I'm so sorry,” Blaine said, dropping the letter and reaching out for him. Kurt accepted his hug, breathing in the comfort he'd always felt being in Blaine's embrace.
“Yeah, it's...I don't know what to think,” Kurt pulled back and sat down on his bed, sighing. “That's not the worst part, though.”
“Oh?”
“Rachel got in,”
“Oh.” Blaine came to sit beside Kurt and put his arm around Kurt's shoulders. “I'm sorry,” he said, though he didn't sound very sorry.
“Yeah, I don't even know what to think about that, either,” Kurt said, getting up and moving around his room, pulling stickers off his belongings. Then he stopped. “Actually, I do know what to think.”
“You do?”
“It's not the end. There's more out there than NYADA. It was silly to pin all my hopes on it, really,” Kurt said.
“And you can always try again, next year,” Blaine said, chasing Kurt across the room, wrapping his arms around Kurt from behind. “And now you don't have to go to New York, you can stay here with me, where you belong.”
Kurt froze. “What?”
“Hmm?” Blaine was nuzzling Kurt's neck, but for once, it did nothing for him.
“What did you just say?” Kurt asked, pulling himself out of Blaine's embrace and turning to face him. “What do you mean, I don't have to go to New York? I never had to go. It's what I want.”
“Just that you can try again next year, and in the meantime, we can still be together.” Blaine looked supremely pleased with the idea, leaving Kurt wondering about his motives.
“You...you're happy about this,” Kurt said, his blood running suddenly cold. “You're actually happy that I didn't get into NYADA.”
“I, no, Kurt,” Blaine said, trying to laugh it off, but Kurt was having none of it.
“Yes, you are,” he said. “You're happy because you think I won't be leaving you.”
“Kurt, I...I can't pretend I'm not happy you'll be staying, but I'm sad you didn't get in.”
“Blaine...I didn't get into NYADA. But I'm still going to New York,” Kurt insisted.
“But...why? I thought you were going to try again next year?” Blaine was wearing his confused look, which Kurt used to find attractive, but now...now he wasn't so sure.
“And I will. But I'm still going to New York,” Kurt said. “It's my dream.”
“I thought your dream was being with me?” Blaine said. It took a moment for those words to settle into Kurt's stunned brain.
“Blaine, you know I love you. And that being with you means a lot to me but...being with you isn't my biggest aspiration.”
“I don't understand. You always said we'd be together, no matter what.”
“I thought we would,” Kurt said. “But I'm suddenly wondering if you care about me as much as I do about you.”
“What? Of course I do!” Blaine said.
“Then why do you want me to stay in Lima for another year?”
“So we can be together. We can both apply at NYADA next year, and we can go together.” Blaine sounded so pleased with the idea that Kurt had to take a step back.
“And what am I supposed to do all next year? Just wait around for you to graduate and cheer you on while you sing every solo, now that Rachel is gone?” A sick feeling was beginning to settle into Kurt's stomach. He'd always know that Blaine was rather self-centred, but he'd always though that Blaine loved him more than this.
“Why is that such a bad thing?” Blaine asked, sincere. “Then we can be together.”
“And that's all that matters to you, isn't it?” Kurt's voice had gone cold. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.
“I thought it was all that mattered to you,” Blaine said.
“It matters to me. But it's not all that matters,” Kurt replied. “I want to get out of the shit town and chase my dreams in New York.”
“Even if it means leaving me behind?”
“Yes!” Kurt said. “I didn’t want to, and I hate the thought of not being around you, but I'm not going to spend a year sitting on my fine ass and doing nothing, just because I didn't get into my dream school.”
“Maybe you can go to community college or something,” Blaine suggested.
“Yes, that's what I plan to do,” Kurt agreed. “In New York. Where I can take acting classes and go on auditions, and do a million other things that would further my dreams and increase my chances of getting into NYADA next year.”
“So, you're just going to leave me anyway?” Blaine asked, his voice taking on that petulant tone that Kurt had always hated. He'd been hearing it too much lately, since Cooper visited. It was not attractive, and never had been. “Even now that you don't have to?”
“It's not about leaving you, Blaine. It's about chasing a dream. And I never had to go to New York. I wanted to,” Kurt repeated, the sick feeling in his stomach turning into dread. Blaine really wanted him to stay, despite his need to get out of Lima, despite his desire to further his life in New York, to get a head start on college.
Blaine didn't want Kurt to do what was best for him. He didn't want Kurt to reach out and take a chance, to dream big or shoot high. He wanted Kurt to put his dreams aside and stay. In Lima. For him.
“I want to,” Kurt finished. “I'm leaving Lima in August, Blaine, as I'd planned.”
Blaine was gaping at Kurt now, his brow furrowed. “But...how can you do this to me, Kurt? How can you just walk away, when you told me yesterday that you'd never say goodbye?”
“I won't!” Kurt exclaimed. “I told you we'd find a way to make it work. Nothing has changed, except what I'll be doing in New York. I'm not going to NYADA, but there are endless possibilities there. Here, there's nothing.”
“So now I'm nothing,” Blaine said, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting. He need only stomp his foot and say, 'no fair' to complete the resemblance to a tantruming child.
“This isn't about you, Blaine!” Kurt said, shaking his head in awe. “This is about me! This is about my life, my dreams!”
“Clearly, they don't include me,” Blaine said, stomping across the room and picking up his bag. “I'm leaving. Call me when you come to your senses.”
“Oh my god, Blaine. Could you be any more self-centred?” Kurt exclaimed, aghast. Blaine turned to face him again.
“Me?” he said, huffing at Kurt, as if Kurt had offended him greatly. “You're the one who is only thinking of himself. Running off to New York as soon as you can, even though you don't have to and you have nothing to do there.”
“I have plenty to do there,” Kurt said. “I just told you what I'm going to be doing.”
“And I'm supposed to wait around for you to remember me?”
“No, you're supposed to graduate high school and then join me in New York, as we'd planned.” Kurt was not only angry, now he was hurt. Why was Blaine turning this around to make it seem as if Kurt was the selfish one?
“As if that'll happen,” Blaine spat. “You've been given the perfect opportunity to be with me during my senior year, the way I was during yours. I transferred for you, remember?”
“For the millionth time, you said you were doing it for you!” Kurt cried, throwing his hand sup in the air. “You can't have it both ways, Blaine.”
“Maybe I lied!” Blaine said, and Kurt's eyes widened. “But you won't even do the same for me! You just can't wait to flit off to New York and start your life without me.”
Kurt suddenly felt calm, as if a wave of cold air had blown through the room, freezing his blood.
“Well, I thought I'd have a great senior year,” Kurt said pondering. “Turns out I couldn't have been more wrong. And it all started to go down hill when you transferred to McKinley and lied about why.”
Blaine just stared at Kurt, his face a study in petulance.
“But I'm not going to end it with a lie,” Kurt said, his voice calm and firm. “I'm not going to stay in Lima for you, and pretend it's a great opportunity. I'm going to New York, and I'm going to live my dream. And if you can't accept that, then I don't know what we're doing here.”
“Are you breaking up with me?” Blaine asked, astounded.
“No,” Kurt said. “You're breaking up with me. By being a selfish hypocrite who is throwing a tantrum because I won't put my entire future on hold for you. By calling me selfish for following through on my plans, NYADA or not. For trying to hold me back, when you know how important this move is to me.”
Kurt took a few steps forward, and pulled his door all the way open, his expression hard. “You're right, Blaine, it's time for you to go.”
“Now you're kicking me out?” Blaine asked, crossing his arms over his chest again.
“You were going to run off in a snit, you might as well do it now. I'm not putting my future on hold for you, Blaine. And if you expect me to, then you don't love me the way I thought you did.”
“Whatever, Kurt,” Blaine said, turning and walking to the door. “Call me when you've come to your senses.”
“If by come to my senses you mean, 'decide to stay in Lima and dote on you', don't hold your breath,” Kurt said. “In that case, I'll see you at our ten year reunion.”
Blaine turned and walked out of the room, grabbing the door and slamming it behind him. Kurt sank onto his bed, feeling weak and sick and exhilarated all at once as he heard Blaine stomp down the stairs, his transformation to a cranky five year old completed, and then slam the front door of the house, rattling the windows.
Kurt breathed deeply and slowly for a few minutes, making no move to wipe the tears that were rolling down his face in the aftermath of what had to be the most sudden and surprising break up in history. He was stunned by Blaine's anger and selfishness, and wounded by his ire when all Kurt wanted was to reach for his dreams. If he really loved Kurt, he'd want what was best for him, right? Even if that meant being apart for a year.
Kurt reached for a tissue, wiping the tears away with shaking hands. He'd cry later, no doubt. But right now he needed to get out of the house. He needed to rant and bitch and hear someone tell him that he was going to be all right. That everything was going to be all right.
And he knew just the person to call.
He picked up his phone from the bedside table, scrolling through his contacts until he found the right entry, then pressed call. There were two rings, and then the call was picked up.
“Hi, David,” Kurt said, sniffing a bit. “Are you free? I've just had the shittiest day ever, and I could really use a coffee and a shoulder to cry on.”
Fandom/Pairing: Glee/Klaine break up fic
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: just under 2000
Summary: Sometimes you have to zig when life expects you to zag.
Notes: This written because of my immense dissatisfaction that Klaine made it through the season, more or less intact. But what if Kurt made the choice to leave anyway? I didn't post this to any comms, because I'm sure the Klaine fans would murder me and there aren't technically any other pairings. I wrote this months ago, but I'm posting it on my lj now because I want it archived here.
“You didn't get in?” Blaine is standing with a confused look on his face, staring at Kurt.
“See for yourself,” Kurt said, handing over his rejection letter. He didn't want it anymore, anyway. It felt like the death knell on his Broadway career.
“That's...Kurt, I'm so sorry,” Blaine said, dropping the letter and reaching out for him. Kurt accepted his hug, breathing in the comfort he'd always felt being in Blaine's embrace.
“Yeah, it's...I don't know what to think,” Kurt pulled back and sat down on his bed, sighing. “That's not the worst part, though.”
“Oh?”
“Rachel got in,”
“Oh.” Blaine came to sit beside Kurt and put his arm around Kurt's shoulders. “I'm sorry,” he said, though he didn't sound very sorry.
“Yeah, I don't even know what to think about that, either,” Kurt said, getting up and moving around his room, pulling stickers off his belongings. Then he stopped. “Actually, I do know what to think.”
“You do?”
“It's not the end. There's more out there than NYADA. It was silly to pin all my hopes on it, really,” Kurt said.
“And you can always try again, next year,” Blaine said, chasing Kurt across the room, wrapping his arms around Kurt from behind. “And now you don't have to go to New York, you can stay here with me, where you belong.”
Kurt froze. “What?”
“Hmm?” Blaine was nuzzling Kurt's neck, but for once, it did nothing for him.
“What did you just say?” Kurt asked, pulling himself out of Blaine's embrace and turning to face him. “What do you mean, I don't have to go to New York? I never had to go. It's what I want.”
“Just that you can try again next year, and in the meantime, we can still be together.” Blaine looked supremely pleased with the idea, leaving Kurt wondering about his motives.
“You...you're happy about this,” Kurt said, his blood running suddenly cold. “You're actually happy that I didn't get into NYADA.”
“I, no, Kurt,” Blaine said, trying to laugh it off, but Kurt was having none of it.
“Yes, you are,” he said. “You're happy because you think I won't be leaving you.”
“Kurt, I...I can't pretend I'm not happy you'll be staying, but I'm sad you didn't get in.”
“Blaine...I didn't get into NYADA. But I'm still going to New York,” Kurt insisted.
“But...why? I thought you were going to try again next year?” Blaine was wearing his confused look, which Kurt used to find attractive, but now...now he wasn't so sure.
“And I will. But I'm still going to New York,” Kurt said. “It's my dream.”
“I thought your dream was being with me?” Blaine said. It took a moment for those words to settle into Kurt's stunned brain.
“Blaine, you know I love you. And that being with you means a lot to me but...being with you isn't my biggest aspiration.”
“I don't understand. You always said we'd be together, no matter what.”
“I thought we would,” Kurt said. “But I'm suddenly wondering if you care about me as much as I do about you.”
“What? Of course I do!” Blaine said.
“Then why do you want me to stay in Lima for another year?”
“So we can be together. We can both apply at NYADA next year, and we can go together.” Blaine sounded so pleased with the idea that Kurt had to take a step back.
“And what am I supposed to do all next year? Just wait around for you to graduate and cheer you on while you sing every solo, now that Rachel is gone?” A sick feeling was beginning to settle into Kurt's stomach. He'd always know that Blaine was rather self-centred, but he'd always though that Blaine loved him more than this.
“Why is that such a bad thing?” Blaine asked, sincere. “Then we can be together.”
“And that's all that matters to you, isn't it?” Kurt's voice had gone cold. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.
“I thought it was all that mattered to you,” Blaine said.
“It matters to me. But it's not all that matters,” Kurt replied. “I want to get out of the shit town and chase my dreams in New York.”
“Even if it means leaving me behind?”
“Yes!” Kurt said. “I didn’t want to, and I hate the thought of not being around you, but I'm not going to spend a year sitting on my fine ass and doing nothing, just because I didn't get into my dream school.”
“Maybe you can go to community college or something,” Blaine suggested.
“Yes, that's what I plan to do,” Kurt agreed. “In New York. Where I can take acting classes and go on auditions, and do a million other things that would further my dreams and increase my chances of getting into NYADA next year.”
“So, you're just going to leave me anyway?” Blaine asked, his voice taking on that petulant tone that Kurt had always hated. He'd been hearing it too much lately, since Cooper visited. It was not attractive, and never had been. “Even now that you don't have to?”
“It's not about leaving you, Blaine. It's about chasing a dream. And I never had to go to New York. I wanted to,” Kurt repeated, the sick feeling in his stomach turning into dread. Blaine really wanted him to stay, despite his need to get out of Lima, despite his desire to further his life in New York, to get a head start on college.
Blaine didn't want Kurt to do what was best for him. He didn't want Kurt to reach out and take a chance, to dream big or shoot high. He wanted Kurt to put his dreams aside and stay. In Lima. For him.
“I want to,” Kurt finished. “I'm leaving Lima in August, Blaine, as I'd planned.”
Blaine was gaping at Kurt now, his brow furrowed. “But...how can you do this to me, Kurt? How can you just walk away, when you told me yesterday that you'd never say goodbye?”
“I won't!” Kurt exclaimed. “I told you we'd find a way to make it work. Nothing has changed, except what I'll be doing in New York. I'm not going to NYADA, but there are endless possibilities there. Here, there's nothing.”
“So now I'm nothing,” Blaine said, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting. He need only stomp his foot and say, 'no fair' to complete the resemblance to a tantruming child.
“This isn't about you, Blaine!” Kurt said, shaking his head in awe. “This is about me! This is about my life, my dreams!”
“Clearly, they don't include me,” Blaine said, stomping across the room and picking up his bag. “I'm leaving. Call me when you come to your senses.”
“Oh my god, Blaine. Could you be any more self-centred?” Kurt exclaimed, aghast. Blaine turned to face him again.
“Me?” he said, huffing at Kurt, as if Kurt had offended him greatly. “You're the one who is only thinking of himself. Running off to New York as soon as you can, even though you don't have to and you have nothing to do there.”
“I have plenty to do there,” Kurt said. “I just told you what I'm going to be doing.”
“And I'm supposed to wait around for you to remember me?”
“No, you're supposed to graduate high school and then join me in New York, as we'd planned.” Kurt was not only angry, now he was hurt. Why was Blaine turning this around to make it seem as if Kurt was the selfish one?
“As if that'll happen,” Blaine spat. “You've been given the perfect opportunity to be with me during my senior year, the way I was during yours. I transferred for you, remember?”
“For the millionth time, you said you were doing it for you!” Kurt cried, throwing his hand sup in the air. “You can't have it both ways, Blaine.”
“Maybe I lied!” Blaine said, and Kurt's eyes widened. “But you won't even do the same for me! You just can't wait to flit off to New York and start your life without me.”
Kurt suddenly felt calm, as if a wave of cold air had blown through the room, freezing his blood.
“Well, I thought I'd have a great senior year,” Kurt said pondering. “Turns out I couldn't have been more wrong. And it all started to go down hill when you transferred to McKinley and lied about why.”
Blaine just stared at Kurt, his face a study in petulance.
“But I'm not going to end it with a lie,” Kurt said, his voice calm and firm. “I'm not going to stay in Lima for you, and pretend it's a great opportunity. I'm going to New York, and I'm going to live my dream. And if you can't accept that, then I don't know what we're doing here.”
“Are you breaking up with me?” Blaine asked, astounded.
“No,” Kurt said. “You're breaking up with me. By being a selfish hypocrite who is throwing a tantrum because I won't put my entire future on hold for you. By calling me selfish for following through on my plans, NYADA or not. For trying to hold me back, when you know how important this move is to me.”
Kurt took a few steps forward, and pulled his door all the way open, his expression hard. “You're right, Blaine, it's time for you to go.”
“Now you're kicking me out?” Blaine asked, crossing his arms over his chest again.
“You were going to run off in a snit, you might as well do it now. I'm not putting my future on hold for you, Blaine. And if you expect me to, then you don't love me the way I thought you did.”
“Whatever, Kurt,” Blaine said, turning and walking to the door. “Call me when you've come to your senses.”
“If by come to my senses you mean, 'decide to stay in Lima and dote on you', don't hold your breath,” Kurt said. “In that case, I'll see you at our ten year reunion.”
Blaine turned and walked out of the room, grabbing the door and slamming it behind him. Kurt sank onto his bed, feeling weak and sick and exhilarated all at once as he heard Blaine stomp down the stairs, his transformation to a cranky five year old completed, and then slam the front door of the house, rattling the windows.
Kurt breathed deeply and slowly for a few minutes, making no move to wipe the tears that were rolling down his face in the aftermath of what had to be the most sudden and surprising break up in history. He was stunned by Blaine's anger and selfishness, and wounded by his ire when all Kurt wanted was to reach for his dreams. If he really loved Kurt, he'd want what was best for him, right? Even if that meant being apart for a year.
Kurt reached for a tissue, wiping the tears away with shaking hands. He'd cry later, no doubt. But right now he needed to get out of the house. He needed to rant and bitch and hear someone tell him that he was going to be all right. That everything was going to be all right.
And he knew just the person to call.
He picked up his phone from the bedside table, scrolling through his contacts until he found the right entry, then pressed call. There were two rings, and then the call was picked up.
“Hi, David,” Kurt said, sniffing a bit. “Are you free? I've just had the shittiest day ever, and I could really use a coffee and a shoulder to cry on.”