So here I am. . .
I have arrived in Washington after a detour through Maryland to visit my aunt and grandmother. Since we've got Wifi here at the hotel I thought I'd share the insanity that I've already had to deal with. So:
Apparently, a lack of navigational skills is genetic. A hint for my family:
These are directions: Go left, go right, go straight.
This is a statement: The road is over there.
Giving me directions will get us where we need to go. Giving me a statement and a vague motion will get me pulling the car over so that I'll have two hands free with which to strangle you. Oh and by the way? 'Keep going' does not mean what you seem to think it means. . .
I'm not hungry. No, really I'm not hungry. Seriously I'm not hungry. Askasdkf I'm not hungry! If I was hungry I would tell you I'm hungry but I'm not hungry so, for the love of God and little baby Jesus, stop asking me if I'm hungry! . . .Aaaaaand now I'm hungry. Of course if I tell you that you're going to be a pissy bitch because I kept telling you I wasn't hungry. Faaaaaantastic.
My grandmother has this annoying habit of chewing on her cuticles. Every time I see her hand headed for her mouth I wanted to swat her and yell 'stop chewing on yourself!' (a very unhealthy impulse when it comes to dealing with dragons). After a few times it abruptly came to me that the only other creature I've had to do this with were my dogs. After that it was just funny.
So my mother and I leave the House of the Dragon and head out on the road to Washington. My mother makes the supremely unwise decision of getting on the phone with my sister. Now, at first I'm splitting my attention between driving carefully and finding a station on the radio that isn't going to make me want to stab myself in the ear. When I finally tune back in my mother is going around in circles about putting in a two car garage at the house in Long Beach. Her suggestion? An underground garage!*sigh*
Needless to say, my mother's response is 'no' but the thing is she doesn't say 'no'. She gives all the reasons why she doesn't think it's a good idea and sort of hedges the subject with statements like 'I don't think that's a good idea'. She doesn't say 'no'. This is not the way to win an argument with my sister. So, for the sake of my sanity, I told my mother to give me the phone and this conversation ensued:
Me: WTF V!? This is a house! Not an apartment complex! What the hell makes you think this is a good idea?
V: Well people on the east coast have a different view of garages than people on the west coast. I've seen garages that fit two cars and they have this elevator. . .
Me: (Ack! Deflect, deflect!) Wait, just wait. You're putting the cart before the horse. How would you even pay for this?
V: Well we would probably have to dip into our savings.
Me: Then before you start speculating on anything why don't you go get an estimate of the cost and find out if this would even be financially feasible.
V: Well I don't want to go and do all that work unless I'm sure that Mom want's to do it.
Me: (. . .What?) She told you she doesn't want it.
V: I didn't hear her say that.
Me: V I'm sitting not a foot away from her and I heard her say she didn't want it several times.
V: . . . Well the phone connections been cutting out.
Me: (Uh huh, riiiiight) She said she doesn't want it V.
Brother in Law: Actually I heard her say that too. I think for now we should put this on the back burner and discuss it later when we've finished everything with the house itself.
Me: (Thank you!) So have we settled this?
V: *mutter* Fine. Whatever.
Me: Ok then. I'm going to hand the phone back to mom now. *hands the phone over*
Inner Vulcan: *pops head out of the mental bomb shelter, peers around* Is it safe? Is she gone?
Me: Yeah, you can come out now.
I love my brother in law. If only for the fact that he understands the value of deflecting my sister. His favorite tactic is "We'll talk about it later". Because, inevitably, by the time 'later' comes around my sister will have either forgotten whatever hare brained idea she came up with, got distracted by some other hare brained idea, or will have accepted the fact that no one wants to go through with said hare brained idea. I love my sister but she seriously makes my head hurt sometimes.
Anyway, familial crazyness aside, this trip looks like it's going to be fun. In all my travels on the east coast I've actually never been to Washington. Or if I have it was when I was too young to remember. So while mom is running around doing stuff for work I've decided to wander and look at the monuments. I'll have to upload the pictures when I get back though, since I managed to forget my camera cable. ^_^;; But I'll try to keep you guys updated on current events while I'm here.
Apparently, a lack of navigational skills is genetic. A hint for my family:
These are directions: Go left, go right, go straight.
This is a statement: The road is over there.
Giving me directions will get us where we need to go. Giving me a statement and a vague motion will get me pulling the car over so that I'll have two hands free with which to strangle you. Oh and by the way? 'Keep going' does not mean what you seem to think it means. . .
I'm not hungry. No, really I'm not hungry. Seriously I'm not hungry. Askasdkf I'm not hungry! If I was hungry I would tell you I'm hungry but I'm not hungry so, for the love of God and little baby Jesus, stop asking me if I'm hungry! . . .Aaaaaand now I'm hungry. Of course if I tell you that you're going to be a pissy bitch because I kept telling you I wasn't hungry. Faaaaaantastic.
My grandmother has this annoying habit of chewing on her cuticles. Every time I see her hand headed for her mouth I wanted to swat her and yell 'stop chewing on yourself!' (a very unhealthy impulse when it comes to dealing with dragons). After a few times it abruptly came to me that the only other creature I've had to do this with were my dogs. After that it was just funny.
So my mother and I leave the House of the Dragon and head out on the road to Washington. My mother makes the supremely unwise decision of getting on the phone with my sister. Now, at first I'm splitting my attention between driving carefully and finding a station on the radio that isn't going to make me want to stab myself in the ear. When I finally tune back in my mother is going around in circles about putting in a two car garage at the house in Long Beach. Her suggestion? An underground garage!*sigh*
Needless to say, my mother's response is 'no' but the thing is she doesn't say 'no'. She gives all the reasons why she doesn't think it's a good idea and sort of hedges the subject with statements like 'I don't think that's a good idea'. She doesn't say 'no'. This is not the way to win an argument with my sister. So, for the sake of my sanity, I told my mother to give me the phone and this conversation ensued:
Me: WTF V!? This is a house! Not an apartment complex! What the hell makes you think this is a good idea?
V: Well people on the east coast have a different view of garages than people on the west coast. I've seen garages that fit two cars and they have this elevator. . .
Me: (Ack! Deflect, deflect!) Wait, just wait. You're putting the cart before the horse. How would you even pay for this?
V: Well we would probably have to dip into our savings.
Me: Then before you start speculating on anything why don't you go get an estimate of the cost and find out if this would even be financially feasible.
V: Well I don't want to go and do all that work unless I'm sure that Mom want's to do it.
Me: (. . .What?) She told you she doesn't want it.
V: I didn't hear her say that.
Me: V I'm sitting not a foot away from her and I heard her say she didn't want it several times.
V: . . . Well the phone connections been cutting out.
Me: (Uh huh, riiiiight) She said she doesn't want it V.
Brother in Law: Actually I heard her say that too. I think for now we should put this on the back burner and discuss it later when we've finished everything with the house itself.
Me: (Thank you!) So have we settled this?
V: *mutter* Fine. Whatever.
Me: Ok then. I'm going to hand the phone back to mom now. *hands the phone over*
Inner Vulcan: *pops head out of the mental bomb shelter, peers around* Is it safe? Is she gone?
Me: Yeah, you can come out now.
I love my brother in law. If only for the fact that he understands the value of deflecting my sister. His favorite tactic is "We'll talk about it later". Because, inevitably, by the time 'later' comes around my sister will have either forgotten whatever hare brained idea she came up with, got distracted by some other hare brained idea, or will have accepted the fact that no one wants to go through with said hare brained idea. I love my sister but she seriously makes my head hurt sometimes.
Anyway, familial crazyness aside, this trip looks like it's going to be fun. In all my travels on the east coast I've actually never been to Washington. Or if I have it was when I was too young to remember. So while mom is running around doing stuff for work I've decided to wander and look at the monuments. I'll have to upload the pictures when I get back though, since I managed to forget my camera cable. ^_^;; But I'll try to keep you guys updated on current events while I'm here.