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ive been SOO busy lately i cant stand it. i feel so alone. all i do is do this and that and i just want this all to be over so i can actually have a life again. everyweekend i just sit around hoping that someone will call me and ask me to hanogut with them or atleast call to talk to me.. and no one ever does. why does it seem like im the one who ALWAYS is asking people to hangout or the one calling people. i just think that i care more about my friends then they care about me. i constantly feel left out all the time because im never hanging out with anyone from school. i know that im not an outcast but i just wish that i had a group. those select few who i know will call me on a regular basis, hangout with me on the weekends, tell me about their life.. etc.! im just so fustrated with the fact that i never belong. EVER. maybe in the eyes of people they see me as that popular asian kid who dresses well... whatever. im truly not that popular... if i was popular i would be on the phone right now or talking on aim. instead im OBVIOUSLY on livejournal wriitnga bout my pathetic life. i miss sarah, caroline, anna, kendra, rachael, will, alex, blanca, xochil, julie, joanna. its like i died and fell of earth or something. i get no phoen calls anymore... i have no one to tell my secrets to or talk to about my life. YES i can call. but its not the same. i need some eye to eye conversation. i just need that comfort back. GAHH i miss you guys so much you will never knew. whenever i see you i just feel complete again, i dont feel like myself anymore... i feel like a robot running on "life mode". no one knows me as well as you people. sighhh and this bring me back to another issue. why can i not get close to people in my own grade?! you woudl think taht it would be easier to do that. but it apparently isnt. GoaehougafbhpsahfbgIOUZLWHSfiuhIOUHAGEW i had this intense break down today at school i had to leave class to go to the bathroom so i could calm down. WHY AM I SOO FUCKING DEPRESSED. i like being happy and giddy and hyper. and RANDOM. i feel alone... i feel like no one cares.. i feel unappreciated... and i just feel at an all time low. and i knOWW that people love me and what not. but show me that you do... i guess. i dont know. NOW i feel like im sad because im not getting attention and that i need all this love and attention to be happy. not true. AT ALL. poo on that kids. jus tonce in a while its nice to know that you have friends.