(no subject)
so much has happened since the last time that i wrote an entry that its hard to wirte EVERYTHING in this one blog. life has been good, i love all my friends and everythign that im doing, but for some reason i still feel that want for somethign more. maybe i need therapy? who knows. im feeling kind of down... hence the fact that im writing in my livejournal lol. when i get stressed i get depressed and all these old feeling come back to haunt me. im UBERRR stressed about tlife right now because im just so busy. i really just want things to go smoothly in my life and not having to worry about SATs or COLLEGE. i just want to live the highschool experience and have fun. im having fun... but i feel that i have so many toher things going in my life that i never have time for myself. i just dont think i know who i am. i feel like a robot running on HIGHSCHOOL mode. i just run aroudn doing this and that... and i never have time for myself. and my sister told me that i shoudl make time for myslef.... and i really shoudl but its hard sometimes. i think that dealing with myself.. is a factor in why i dont like... to focus on myself too much. theres is just a lot of feelings i never got over that have just stayed with me. YES probably what you are thinking.. but also emotional scarring that has hurt me.. and no one really knows about. thsi is going to sound craazyyy but i wish that i loved myself. i wish that i appreciated all the things that i do in my life and that im proud of it.
i still im hurt by SO MANY THINGS that when i get sad... i get sad. and i HATE showing that side to people because thats not... me. ive also come to conclusion about who my real friends are. i think ive figured that out. you knwo who you are my lovers. sigghh. im just sad and stressed out and i wish that thigsn were back to way that they were. i want my college buddies back. i miss tthem all so much. and i miss anna a lot because i havnet spoken to her in so long. i just miss her. i miss EVERYONE SO MUCH. everytime it hink about it makes me want to be in college already. but times are a changing and im scared that we are drifitng apart. NO SUCH BAD THOUGHTS> that will never happen. never never never will i let that happen. because those friends (you knwo who you are) have been with me through the hardest times of life. they ahve been there to listen to me cry and laugh and just EVERYTHING.
also i miss people such as joanna and julie who i used to be close with and now we hardly talk.
change is just so hard. i hate it.
i still im hurt by SO MANY THINGS that when i get sad... i get sad. and i HATE showing that side to people because thats not... me. ive also come to conclusion about who my real friends are. i think ive figured that out. you knwo who you are my lovers. sigghh. im just sad and stressed out and i wish that thigsn were back to way that they were. i want my college buddies back. i miss tthem all so much. and i miss anna a lot because i havnet spoken to her in so long. i just miss her. i miss EVERYONE SO MUCH. everytime it hink about it makes me want to be in college already. but times are a changing and im scared that we are drifitng apart. NO SUCH BAD THOUGHTS> that will never happen. never never never will i let that happen. because those friends (you knwo who you are) have been with me through the hardest times of life. they ahve been there to listen to me cry and laugh and just EVERYTHING.
also i miss people such as joanna and julie who i used to be close with and now we hardly talk.
change is just so hard. i hate it.