So my trip to Cancun...
I'm not sure what I was thinking when I booked my flight. Some how Alex had convinced me that it would be "just for fun." No strings attached, no one is getting their hopes up, and no one gives the other one a hard time. Who was I kidding? I new it would be hard, but I didn't think it would be that hard. And I was PMSing, which added to the mess. The entire time I was there, Alex made little comments about me coming back to visit again later, how beautiful our children would be, how he wants to come visit me in California, etc. It was so hard for me to not be a bitch and blurt out, "It's OVER! I'm dating someone else!" You see, Alex is very jealous, and not that I try to lie to him or keep things from him, but sometimes, it's just so hard not too. I feel terrible for it. I hate having to hide things. Several times, after I came back the last time (after February) I told him that it was over, that I was sleeping with someone else. But, he didn't care, he still wanted to see me. And I understand, actions speak louder, than words, so for me to agree to come back to visit, confused things. And while I was there, I was hoping to clarify things. I told him that when I go home, it's going to be over. I don't want him to call me every day any more. But he was having a hard time letting go. I wanted to wait a little while before telling him that I met someone else, hoping that would make things clear. But it didn't go as planned. I was at Richard's house when Alex called, and he started asking questions. I couldn't lie. I told him where I was. Alex got angry, was completely immature and started name calling. It was impossible to have a serious conversation with him. I didn't want it to happen this way. I feel really, really bad.