[Fic] Even if I die one day, the night will show the stars [1/?]
Title: Even if I die one day, the night will show the stars [1/?]
Characters: Nishikido Ryo (NEWS/K8), Nishijima Takahiro (AAA), Tomohisa Yamashita(NEWS)
Genre: Romance, multichap, character death
Rating: PG
Summary: This fic is based on Tegomass song, Yoru was hoshi wo nagamete okure(The night will show the stars), the one they perform in LIVE3X con. I suggest you listen to the song while reading.
A/N: Nissy is one of the main character, maybe more important than Yamapi. The cute awesome guy needs more love XDDD
********************************
It was a bright Monday afternoon and Ryo just get back from his work. As Ryo walked into his house, his eyes caught something white in his letter box. His lips quickly curled up into a smile.
“It’s the letter again,” he said to himself. Eagerly he ran to his letterbox and extracted the white envelope with familiar black handwriting on it from a jumble of bills and ads.
Once he’s inside his room, he put down the groceries hanging on his right hand on the table and sat down. He stared at the letter intensely. It was a long time ago since he has given up fighting whether to read the letter or let it be. Since the first letter arrived in his letterbox 3 months ago, he has read every single one of them. He had thought about not reading it since the letter was not for him. Maybe it’s for the previous owner of the house he currently residing. But, the name handsomely written on the letter was his name, or the name of previous owner who coincidently had the same name as him, so he can’t help but peek in.
‘Ryo, please come back to me. I love you so much,’
Ryo remember feeling tight in his chest reading the first sentence he read from the letter three months ago. ‘Poor guy,’ he thought, this person called Ryo Nishikido must be his lover…and he’s dead. His friend, Nishijima told him that the previous owner was dead. Yet, the writer keeps on delivering letters to his letterbox begging his lover to come back without knowing that his lover will never come back. Slowly he opened the envelope and read. Once again, Ryo was absorbed in the most beautiful yet tragic love letter he ever read.
‘Ryo, remember our promise to be together forever? Why you broke the promise and leave me alone? My heart beat just for you, I woke up each day with hope to see you again, touching you, embracing you in my arms. So, come back to me, I can’t live without you, please. Tell me why you left.’
Ryo closed it and quickly put down on the table. He’s at lost of what to do. Should he just leave it like that? He knew he should just ignore it in his letterbox. It’s not his in the first place. He has been entering someone else privacy and cannot find his way out. As if in reflex, Ryo searched for paper and pen and sat at his previous place, fingers ready to write.
* * *
“Nissy, have you heard of someone called Yamashita Tomohisa?” Ryo asked suddenly. Nishijima looked up at his friend with puzzled face.
“Umm, no. why?” he said. He put down his coffee and dipped a teaspoon in the cup to stir it.
“You said you know the previous owner of my house, I thought you might know his lover.”
“This guy is his lover? How did you know that?” Nishijima stopped stirring and focused to Ryo.
“Thing is this guy has been sending me, no, his lover, letters since 3 months ago. We shared the same name apparently. I read each one of them. I know it’s not right, but I’m curious. Now, I can’t just let it go. This guy must know that his lover was dead!”
“Wait, wait. Not so fast! A guy sends in letters to your house since 3 months ago, to someone with the same name as you?” Nishijima asked again. Ryo just nodded. “Why are you so surprised?” he asked his friend.
“What had you do then, you didn’t reply them, right?” Nishijima asked, ignoring Ryo’s question. Ryo’s expression quickly turned dark.
“I did. I’m sorry,” he answered in small voice full of guilt.
“Oh no…”
“Nissy, I left him. Please don’t tell anything to him, please,” Ryo begged on his hospital bed. He gripped the hem of Nishijima’s long sleeves tightly.
“He has the right to know. Your lover has the right to know, Ryo,”
“No, I’m dying! And I’m going to forget him sooner! I can’t face him while not knowing him. You have to understand! I’ll only make him more sad looking at me,” Ryo’s high voice became smaller as he said the last sentence.
“You know I’ll do anything for you,” Nishijima said.
“And when I forget everything, please don’t make me remember. I don’t want to remember. I want to die smiling. Not thinking of everything that I can’t have.”
* * *
“Nishikido-san, you are awake?” the doctor asked gently. Ryo blinked his eyes in confusion. He tried to remember anything, but nothing came to mind.
“He looked daze. I’m afraid the operation can only prolong his life longer but can’t prevent the effect of the disease,” he heard the doctor said to someone sitting beside him. Ryo blinked again several times to look at him. He saw the other guy turned to look at him and gave him a smile.
“Hi, Ryo. remember me? I’m your best friend. We are the Nishi-Nishi duo, remember?” the other man said something that he was supposed to know. Ryo just shook his head and he can see the other smile faded a little but quickly lit up again. He keep on smiling, the smile that lighten Ryo’s dark and empty path like a bright sunshine.
“Nissy? Hey, man!” Ryo shook his shoulder when the man didn’t react to his calling. Nishijima startled as he was brought to reality with Ryo’s shook. He fetched his coffee and took a sip to regain his composure.
“What is going on with you? I thought I’m the one who got problem here,” Ryo sulked. Nishijima put his palms together in front of his face, apologizing.
“Gomen ne? What did you reply to him?”
“I told him that the person he’s waiting for was no longer in this world. I think he has to know that,”
“Did he reply back?”
“No, not yet. You want to see the letter?”
“Sure, why not.” Nishijima observed his friend happy face while looking for the letters. His friend is like an untainted child. He knows nothing about himself; the only thing he knew is that he doesn’t have much longer time to live. Yes, just that one ugly truth and he still can smile. Isn’t life is made of unfairness?
* * *
Nishijima stood in front of a white house. He flipped a piece of paper in his hand. The address is right.
‘So, his name is Yamashita Tomohisa huh?’ he talked to himself.
‘Ryo's boyfriend was a wealthy man who is head over heel with him? He never told me this,’ his mind wandered. At the same time, the front door opened revealing a tall, handsome man. Despite of that, he looked utterly tired.
“Takahiro Nishijima-san?” he asked. Nishijima nodded once and being let into the house. He followed the handsome man to the tea room. The man plopped down on the couch. Nishijima sat in front of him. Not long, a maid came in with tea and biscuit.
“You are Ryo’s ex-boyfriend, Yamashita-san,” Nishijima said once the maid exited the room. It’s more to a statement than a question. Yamashita Tomohisa looked at him with shock shown clearly in his face. His eyes glistened under the evening light.
“How do you know? You know Ryo?” he asked. Even his voice sound tired.
“You sent letters to his parent’ old house,” Nishijima answered. Yamashita didn’t reply but looking more down than before.
“You should stop…”
“I got informed that he’s dead,” Yamashita cut him quickly. “I won’t be a bother again.”
“Why did you do that? Why you sent letters there? I thought Ryo had made it clear he didn’t want to have anything to do with you anymore,” Nishijima pressed.
Truthfully, he doesn’t know what to do. He came here searching for answers. This man, apart from him was the only one who knows Nishikido Ryo. Ryo’s parents were long dead and he has no other relatives. But, is he doing the right thing if he wanted to reveal everything? Doing the opposite of what Ryo begged him not to do?
“I can’t live without him, Nishijima-san,” Yamashita said. Nishijima watched him. Witnessed the single tear fell on his cheek.
“I love him so much that life became unbearable without him. After he left, I lost contact with him. I don’t know any other place to go to except that old house. I knew he won’t go there, but that’s the only place he has. If I send my letter there, one day, he might come and read it. He will know that I’m still waiting for him, still loving him,” he stopped after more tears fell.
“Yamashita-san…”
“And now he’s dead…how am I supposed to continue with my life?” Yamashita continued, palming his tear stricken face. Nishijima know in the instance that it’s not his right to keep silent anymore.
“He’s not dead. He lives in that house,” he said. Yamashita lifted his head, unsure of what he heard.
But he’s dying.
And he has amnesia because his brain cell is deteriorating.
He can’t remember you anymore.
He didn’t want to remember.
He knew he can’t live with you so he chose not to remember.
He didn’t want me to tell you.
He didn’t want to look at someone he loves with his life, without remembering him.
He didn’t want to hurt you.
“The previous owner of the house that was dead was his parents. I’m just telling him the truth. But only the truth that he wanted to hear. I didn’t mean to keep this from you.”
“Is it…true?” was all the later can say. The light in his eyes shone brighter than before. Nishijima nodded.
“But I appreciate it if you respect his wish. I know you are his lover, but he’s happy now. He…”
“Can I see him? I won’t tell him anything. I just want to see him. I miss him so much. Please let me see him. I need to see him,” Yamashita pleaded.
“I actually am hoping that you will see him, because you have the right to. But will you promise not to make him sad?”
“I promise, I promise with my life. Umm, can I ask something?”
“Of course.”
“Did he read my letters all this time?” Yamashita asked. Nishijima saw his eyes full of hope.
“Yes, he is,” he answered and offered a smile. Yamashita smiled back. Maybe that’s enough for him.
* * *
Ryo saw from far Nishijima head to flower shop he’s working at. He smiled happily and strutted to the door to greet him. The doorbell rang when Nishijima opened the door.
“Would you like to buy a flower, sir?” Ryo asked, teasing him. In his hand, he held a red rose.
“Yeah, a bouquet of flower for a patient. Ryo, you should be at hospital by now. Today’s your check up,” Nishijima said. Ryo put down the rose to its place and took off the apron he’s wearing.
“I know, I know. Look, I’m readying to go!” he retorted. Nishijima snickered.
“Let me accompany you to the hospital. I’ve got something to tell you,” he said while Ryo busy cleaning the counter. “Uh, okay. Thanks Nissy,” he replied.
* * *
“I’m very sorry Nishikido-san but your condition is not very good. Nothing we can do anymore except helps you overcome the pain,” Dr. Yuko said sympathetically.
“No, its okay. I understand,” Ryo said giving her a reassuring smile. He get out from the room after a while heading to the waiting area where Nishijima wait for him. He sat next to him quietly. The only sound heard was the creaking sound the plastic chair made when he sat. Both of them kept silence for a while.
“Nissy…” Ryo said.
“Hmm?” Nishijima put an arm on Ryo’s back. His gentle eyes look at Ryo with concern. Ryo looked back at him.
“What do you want to tell me?” Ryo asked, grinning. Nishijima smacked him at the back hard.
“Duh, what’s there to joke about?! Are you really okay?” he asked. Ryo kept on grinning.
“Old news, man! I’ve known my condition since a long time ago. There’s no need to go all emotional. Come on, tell me,” he whined.
“Okay, okay!” Nishijima said. He changed his position so his body fully facing his friend. He took a deep breath and spitted it out.
“He wants to see you. The person who wrote the letters, he wants to see you.”
“Eh, but why?” Ryo asked, feeling nervous all of sudden.
“He said he wants to apologize since he doesn’t know you are living there, and he’s been bothering you with his letters,”
“Can’t he just say it over the phone? Oh, but I’m guilty too for reading his letters.”
“See? So, both of you need to apologize. Take this, it’s his number. Call him; he’s waiting for your call,”
“For real? Somehow I feel nervous,” Ryo said, laughing hard.
“What do you feel nervous for? Baka!” Nishijima snorted. However, watching Ryo laughed happily forgetting all his problem and sickness was all he wanted to see. Albeit the man in front of him is always laughing, it’s always accompanied with sadness. But today his happiness was not fake, coming wholeheartedly from deep in his heart and Nishijima hope what he’s doing will not hurt his friend more than it already is.
* * *
Ryo lie on his back on the couch in his living room. He was holding a phone in his right hand and a paper in his left hand. It will be easier if he just type in the number and deal with it. But it was harder when his heart thumped nervously in his ribcage and his fingertips refused to move. He ended up staring at his hands for hours wondering why and why he has to feel like this. After a long painful moment, ryo finally typed in the number as quickly as possible and pushed dial. He put the receiver to his ear and wait. It doesn’t take more than two rings before someone picked up the phone.
“Moshi moshi,”
“Uh, Yamahita-san?”
“…Ryo?” Ryo gasped at the used of his name by a stranger.
* * *
Yamapi scrambled to get out from the bath tub in order to pick up his cell lying on the sink. He pushed the answering button and placed the phone next to his ear. While his other hand turn the faucet and it sprayed cold water into the sink. He lazily said the usual greeting while washing his hand under the cold water. But he froze when he heard the voice he missed for two years. Damn that time there’s no way his mind can work properly.
“…Ryo?” he blurted but quickly realizes his mistake when he heard the other’s gasped.
“I mean, Nishikido-san. Is that you?”
“…Umm, yeah,” Ryo answered, still sounds unsure. Yamapi cleared his throat.
“Nishijima-san, your friend, told me that you will be calling me. I thought the unknown caller might be you,” Yamapi tried to cover. He quickly turned off the water faucet and move to his bed. Once he seated down, Ryo spoke again.
“Oh, it’s Nissy. Yeah, I figured I’d be calling since you said you want to see me,” ryo said, this time with a hint of laughter. yamapi felt relieve. He began to realize how much he has been missing Ryo, and never expect to be hearing his voice one more time. It was like a miracle.
“How are you? Are you doing fine? How’s your life all this time?” Yamapi knew he shouldn’t be asking all of those questions but he really can’t help it he wanted to know at least a little bit of what happen to his lover.
“I’m fine, really!” Ryo replied with a nervous laugh. “We can meet if you want to know more,” he continued. Yamapi swore he can ‘hear’ Ryo blushing after he said the words.
“I would love too. I really want to apologize properly,” Yamapi said.
“Me too. umm, so…” ryo said, obviously fighting with his words.
“Next week is okay?” Yamapi asked. He can’t afford of losing him, again.
“Fine by me. I’ll be waiting,” Ryo answered almost immediately. Yamapi grinned at the phone.
“Okay, see you,”
“See you. I’m hanging up kay?” Ryo said.
“Kay,” and the line went dead, with both of them feel like love at the first sight.
to be continued...