(no subject)
it's been so long since i've posted here.. and i don't know why. writing used to be my way to get everything out, but i just don't do it anymore. i guess i've just been keeping things inside, or maybe i've just been too busy to write.. who knows. maybe myspace has taken away from me using live journal.. i have no idea. all i know, is seeing the last post i wrote made me think a lot; about how much things have changed.
i remember exactly how i felt when that happened, and how i've felt so much worse since then, and made other people feel worse too. that night was horrible, but now that i look back on it, i realize that i don't have any of those feelings anymore, and it was really just pride slapping me in the face. i think i've been through 3 relationships since then, and none of them have worked out. i've lost a job, gotten a car, seen good friends leave town, and had some silly crushes that were broken when i thought i wasn't good enough. i've grown close to different people, and teachers.. used up so many gallons of gas driving everywhere.. and gotten the best boyfriend anyone could ask for. my drawing talents are improving, but it's only because bev pushes me.
now i'm a senior.. when i wrote that last entry i was only halfway through my junior year. since then i've gone through a whole semester and a summer that was full of horrible memories. getting your pride broken in 2 when you lose your first job because you speak your mind, practically moving to a different county just to have money over the summer and not saving anything at all for europe.. gosh.. i'm so different. so fresh, and new. i guess the people i knew when i wrote that last entry, some of them wouldn't know me now.. because i've changed, and i feel it's for the better. maybe now i do have a bit of an attitude, but that's just because i've become more independent and able to speak my mind, and i'm not afraid to.
all i know, is i'm glad gas prices are going down, that i have a fun job, and that i'm scared to death of homework and college...
oh, and i love matt mckinney.
<3 ashley v.
i remember exactly how i felt when that happened, and how i've felt so much worse since then, and made other people feel worse too. that night was horrible, but now that i look back on it, i realize that i don't have any of those feelings anymore, and it was really just pride slapping me in the face. i think i've been through 3 relationships since then, and none of them have worked out. i've lost a job, gotten a car, seen good friends leave town, and had some silly crushes that were broken when i thought i wasn't good enough. i've grown close to different people, and teachers.. used up so many gallons of gas driving everywhere.. and gotten the best boyfriend anyone could ask for. my drawing talents are improving, but it's only because bev pushes me.
now i'm a senior.. when i wrote that last entry i was only halfway through my junior year. since then i've gone through a whole semester and a summer that was full of horrible memories. getting your pride broken in 2 when you lose your first job because you speak your mind, practically moving to a different county just to have money over the summer and not saving anything at all for europe.. gosh.. i'm so different. so fresh, and new. i guess the people i knew when i wrote that last entry, some of them wouldn't know me now.. because i've changed, and i feel it's for the better. maybe now i do have a bit of an attitude, but that's just because i've become more independent and able to speak my mind, and i'm not afraid to.
all i know, is i'm glad gas prices are going down, that i have a fun job, and that i'm scared to death of homework and college...
oh, and i love matt mckinney.
<3 ashley v.