identity crisises
I just saw a job posting today for what amounts to the exact same position I had in the NYU TV Studios at Emerson College, the job that, though I liked it, was still a little oppressive in the end because there was nowhere to go and it was only part-time. What a weird feeling it is to not apply for the Emerson one. I mean, I almost want to, but how ridiculous would that be. I'm going to library school. But if I weren't, I probably would have applied for it, despite my not being in the biz for three years now. I still think I would have had a good chance. Oh well.
Yesterday and today I also applied to two actually relevant to me now jobs. One is a full-time position in the MIT's Lincoln Laboratory archives (working with Department of Homeland Security records, how exciting and morally ambiguous), and the other is a part-time reference librarian job at Emerson, which if I got I would do on top of my current full-time job and my part-time school and would go insane with tired, but would also gain invaluable library experience. Looking out for my future career is hard.
Also yesterday, I realized that I'll be heading off to Korea in a week(!) and kind of panicked. The motherland! It's so crazy to think about. Anne picked up a Korea guidebook from the library for me, but no, it does not list "orphanages" in its index. I don't know what I'm going to do on that front when I get there. I mean, I'm tempted to look up my orphanage, but what would I do once I got there? Take pictures? Will they speak English? Will it even be there? What do I expect I would get out of visiting? I just don't know.
On the one hand, it's not like a place I've been dying to see my whole life because I honestly can't imagine what it would add to my identity, but on the other hand, of course I'm a little curious. My therapist seems to think this thinking is peculiar. I think she wants me to be more bent out of shape or something about being adopted, to be much more eager than I actually am, but I'm just not. But maybe there is something to explore in my nonchalance.
Yesterday and today I also applied to two actually relevant to me now jobs. One is a full-time position in the MIT's Lincoln Laboratory archives (working with Department of Homeland Security records, how exciting and morally ambiguous), and the other is a part-time reference librarian job at Emerson, which if I got I would do on top of my current full-time job and my part-time school and would go insane with tired, but would also gain invaluable library experience. Looking out for my future career is hard.
Also yesterday, I realized that I'll be heading off to Korea in a week(!) and kind of panicked. The motherland! It's so crazy to think about. Anne picked up a Korea guidebook from the library for me, but no, it does not list "orphanages" in its index. I don't know what I'm going to do on that front when I get there. I mean, I'm tempted to look up my orphanage, but what would I do once I got there? Take pictures? Will they speak English? Will it even be there? What do I expect I would get out of visiting? I just don't know.
On the one hand, it's not like a place I've been dying to see my whole life because I honestly can't imagine what it would add to my identity, but on the other hand, of course I'm a little curious. My therapist seems to think this thinking is peculiar. I think she wants me to be more bent out of shape or something about being adopted, to be much more eager than I actually am, but I'm just not. But maybe there is something to explore in my nonchalance.