when being anal gets in the way
So, I just did something very horrible (ok, not quite horrible actually, but horrible enough to play on my guilt conscience) to a friend of mine, by basically telling her a little lie so that I dont have to tell her "No, you cannot borrow my card". I feel really bad now, but I do have a good reason to do so. First year, I lent her my black shoes which I was meant to wear with my sub fusc. Alright, so she borrowed mine, I wore my black high heels instead, and till now the shoes are basically gone. You know, I am the kinda person who will feel really bad to ask for something back if I ever lent anything to anyone. It's quite hard to ask, and sometimes I have to resort to sending emails instead because I just dont want to have any awkwardness face to face. Ok, I am really cheapskate but basically, this friend of mine borrowed one quid from me after lectures (ya I know haha) and she didnt return it either. Well, but it's not really about the amount isnt it? It's about the fact that she never remembers to return anything, especially if it's monetary related. I thought I was clever though, since during one of the times when I had no coins and she happened to be with me at a vending machine, I borrowed a quid off her, return her the change and just didnt bother returning the rest. I mean, that's fair enough right? The only frustrating thing is that she seemed to have forgotten about the money she owed me and felt like she's doing me quite a good favour. Oh well.
As much as you hate me nagging, the card basically has credit in it, in order to top it up, we both have to go to college to do so, and I think she's probably lazy to do so. The thing is, it's alright if you use my card and give me back the cash, but she didnt mention it, and it's hard for me to mention it, so I just said I ran out of cash as well. Ya, I know. I am horrible. Alright, let's not talk about it.
Ok, maybe I should talk about what I wanted to talk about yesterday afterall. Somehow, one of the biggest differences I see between couple and best friends, is that you quarrel way more often with your partner than with your best friend? Ok, at least that somehow seems to be true in my case. Well, it's all about expectations isnt it? We have way higher expectations for our partners, because we are treating them like our family, and that means we have certain standards that we wish they could achieve. Of course that sounds really selfish and unreasonable and not the way to develop a healthy relationship with someone, but it does explain why disagreements seem to be aplenty between couples? As for best friends, regardless of the differences, we sub-consciously accommodate them instead of trying to make them more like us. Ok it's more like, we dont really expect our friends to do things for us, because why do they have to anyway, but we will expect quite a bit from our partner and if he doesnt do anything, we get really cross. I also noticed that maybe it's really more of a girl's thing than a guy's thing. I am always the one getting cross most of the time anyway. Probably because we are girls and hence we are more sensitive in that way? Come to think about it, this sounds really stupid because if I support gender equality then all the more I should abolish these kinda thoughts, but then on one hand I want to be treated fairly in society, I still want to receive those kinda benefits girls get just because well... they are girls. I know, sounds a bit like positive discrimination? Anyway, I am still quite on the fence with this sex equality thing but I think I can make do with a bf who supports it, kinda. Not so much when he's with me though. (:
As much as you hate me nagging, the card basically has credit in it, in order to top it up, we both have to go to college to do so, and I think she's probably lazy to do so. The thing is, it's alright if you use my card and give me back the cash, but she didnt mention it, and it's hard for me to mention it, so I just said I ran out of cash as well. Ya, I know. I am horrible. Alright, let's not talk about it.
Ok, maybe I should talk about what I wanted to talk about yesterday afterall. Somehow, one of the biggest differences I see between couple and best friends, is that you quarrel way more often with your partner than with your best friend? Ok, at least that somehow seems to be true in my case. Well, it's all about expectations isnt it? We have way higher expectations for our partners, because we are treating them like our family, and that means we have certain standards that we wish they could achieve. Of course that sounds really selfish and unreasonable and not the way to develop a healthy relationship with someone, but it does explain why disagreements seem to be aplenty between couples? As for best friends, regardless of the differences, we sub-consciously accommodate them instead of trying to make them more like us. Ok it's more like, we dont really expect our friends to do things for us, because why do they have to anyway, but we will expect quite a bit from our partner and if he doesnt do anything, we get really cross. I also noticed that maybe it's really more of a girl's thing than a guy's thing. I am always the one getting cross most of the time anyway. Probably because we are girls and hence we are more sensitive in that way? Come to think about it, this sounds really stupid because if I support gender equality then all the more I should abolish these kinda thoughts, but then on one hand I want to be treated fairly in society, I still want to receive those kinda benefits girls get just because well... they are girls. I know, sounds a bit like positive discrimination? Anyway, I am still quite on the fence with this sex equality thing but I think I can make do with a bf who supports it, kinda. Not so much when he's with me though. (: