Collection of Law School Funnies (Thus Far)
Property Prof.: "Like rum and coca-cola--why have one without the other?"
"Having issues with the venue of the library: removing to apartment." During my first set of 1L finals, the most natural away message possible...for shame!
Me: Are you free for lunch tomorrow?
Friend: lemme check cause we have a bunch of rescheduled contracts this week
Me: K
Friend: ...lol
Dog Commands for a Law Student's Pet--by my roommate and I:
12(b)(6)!! NO BEGGING--you're not gonna get anything so GO AWAY!
12(b)(3)!! car ride!!
Rule 11 SANCTION! Get in your crate!!!
Professor's response: Of course if she [the dog] poops where she shouldn't you can always say "forum non conveniens."
Con Law Prof.: "This guy hat chutspa. What's chutspa? I'll give you an example: When a man kills both his parents, and then throws himself at the mercy of the court because he's an orphan."
Law student gunner says something annoying and stupid.
Civ Pro Professor: ROTFL
class: ... WTF?!
I walked into Contracts one morning and this was on the board: "The vanity of teaching doth often make man forgetteth that he is a blockhead." George Savile Yeah, my ks prof was nuts (but awesome).
A friend gave me his outline, I thanked him and said I owed him big. His response: feel free to devise your first born to me in FSA
Crazy Government Civil Practice Seminar Prof.: So the lesson from today's seminar is that Sandzilla is make believe, so it couldn't make the plaintiff flounder.
(Amazing) torts prof.: You're going to make mistakes in this class. You're going to get angry and disagree with me. But, before you go on a rampage, remember--I wrote the damn book, and I grade your exams, is disagreeing with me fervently really a wise path to choose here?
Same torts prof. (paraphrasing): Those words are very impressive, but can you dumb it down a little? The kid pulled the chair out from under his aunt's ass as shit was sitting down. It was probably funny--just because we're lawyers, doesn't mean we can't laugh at idiots. In fact, that constitutes 90% of our professional responsibilities!
Civ Pro Prof (amazing!): So the court said he was forum shopping, what does that mean? (Student goes on a long explanation of the exact problems with forum shopping.) Prof: Yeah, so basically, he's SOL. Student: I'm sorry, what? Prof: Shit out of luck. The guy's screwed. Student: Is that the technical term? Prof: Yeah, that's the technical term alright. *rolls eyes*
Con Law Prof: The dissenters were the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. You knoow, Dissenters: McReynolds, Devanter, Sutherland, and Butler.
Property Prof.: "Under modern law, tenants are more like long-term hotel guests, rather than yeoman farmers of yore."
"Having issues with the venue of the library: removing to apartment." During my first set of 1L finals, the most natural away message possible...for shame!
Me: Are you free for lunch tomorrow?
Friend: lemme check cause we have a bunch of rescheduled contracts this week
Me: K
Friend: ...lol
Dog Commands for a Law Student's Pet--by my roommate and I:
12(b)(6)!! NO BEGGING--you're not gonna get anything so GO AWAY!
12(b)(3)!! car ride!!
Rule 11 SANCTION! Get in your crate!!!
Professor's response: Of course if she [the dog] poops where she shouldn't you can always say "forum non conveniens."
Con Law Prof.: "This guy hat chutspa. What's chutspa? I'll give you an example: When a man kills both his parents, and then throws himself at the mercy of the court because he's an orphan."
Law student gunner says something annoying and stupid.
Civ Pro Professor: ROTFL
class: ... WTF?!
I walked into Contracts one morning and this was on the board: "The vanity of teaching doth often make man forgetteth that he is a blockhead." George Savile Yeah, my ks prof was nuts (but awesome).
A friend gave me his outline, I thanked him and said I owed him big. His response: feel free to devise your first born to me in FSA
Crazy Government Civil Practice Seminar Prof.: So the lesson from today's seminar is that Sandzilla is make believe, so it couldn't make the plaintiff flounder.
(Amazing) torts prof.: You're going to make mistakes in this class. You're going to get angry and disagree with me. But, before you go on a rampage, remember--I wrote the damn book, and I grade your exams, is disagreeing with me fervently really a wise path to choose here?
Same torts prof. (paraphrasing): Those words are very impressive, but can you dumb it down a little? The kid pulled the chair out from under his aunt's ass as shit was sitting down. It was probably funny--just because we're lawyers, doesn't mean we can't laugh at idiots. In fact, that constitutes 90% of our professional responsibilities!
Civ Pro Prof (amazing!): So the court said he was forum shopping, what does that mean? (Student goes on a long explanation of the exact problems with forum shopping.) Prof: Yeah, so basically, he's SOL. Student: I'm sorry, what? Prof: Shit out of luck. The guy's screwed. Student: Is that the technical term? Prof: Yeah, that's the technical term alright. *rolls eyes*
Con Law Prof: The dissenters were the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. You knoow, Dissenters: McReynolds, Devanter, Sutherland, and Butler.
Property Prof.: "Under modern law, tenants are more like long-term hotel guests, rather than yeoman farmers of yore."