Connectivity: The Internet and our Past
The internet can be really fucking strange.
I really think that the greatest achievement of the internet is greater connectivity. We can connect to other people in mere seconds, we can find information about our pasts and about our friends. We can get information--whether or not it be 'accurate'--very easily.
This new connectivity has wonderful results: we can stay connected to friends with whom we otherwise would have likely lost touch with, we can find long-lost friends, we can even exchange with new people. However, this heightened ability to connect with people, events, and information can also have other (perhaps negative or at least unnerving) repercussions.
For example, about five years ago I was involved in a bit of a 'love triangle.' J, A, and I were good friends. J was gay, A was bi, and I was (obviously) bi. We all went to (all girls, Catholic) high school together and were good friends. J and A were two years younger than I was, but they were both very mature so it didn't really matter. Anyway, I had a bit of a crush on A but didn't think it was reciprocated, so I didn't mention or act on it. Then, J and A began dating; however, after only about a month, A expressed regret over dating J. A said that they were just close friends and she confused her strong feelings of friendship for a more romantic feeling, and that she was sure of this because of romantic feelings she was having towards someone else. J thought A had feelings for me and also knew that their relationship was going nowhere. When J and A broke up, J pushed me to tell A how I felt about her--so I did. Long story short, we ended up dating for four years. J, however, was very hurt when we first began dating. This confused both A and I very much, as J had basically pushed me to talk to A about my feelings so that we would 'get together.' Well, it turns out that J didn't want A and I to date--not because of her feelings for A, but because of her feelings for ME. (Insert awkward social events here.) So when A and I began dating, A lost her best friend and I lost a very good friend (J) because J was angry at A for dating me, and angry at me for not being attracted to her.
ANYWAY, long story longer, since then (high school) A and I dated for approximately four years and totally grew apart from J. While A and I are no longer dating, we remain best friends. Now, J is in a relationship with someone else (also from high school) and is friends with both A and I on facebook. We've seen each other several times since high school, and have been friendly each time. Well, tonight I was curious to see what J was doing with her music, and came across her YouTube page.
This is where it gets odd--J has posted a live version of the song that she wrote about me; the song that she sung to me in the art room of our high school to explain that she had feelings for me--the song that drastically effected the entire social circle of our friends--the first song anyone had ever written about me.
In some ways, it was really good to hear the song again (and I've recorded it for posterity); but, at the same time, it was really strange to see it on the internet. This song was (and remains to be) a symbol of a really pivotal part of my life--and here it was on the internet! Strange. So, while the internet's ability to give us increased connectivity can be a useful tool, it can also be very odd and unnerving at times.
Anyway, J is actually a rather talented folksinger; so, if you're curious, here's the song:
I really think that the greatest achievement of the internet is greater connectivity. We can connect to other people in mere seconds, we can find information about our pasts and about our friends. We can get information--whether or not it be 'accurate'--very easily.
This new connectivity has wonderful results: we can stay connected to friends with whom we otherwise would have likely lost touch with, we can find long-lost friends, we can even exchange with new people. However, this heightened ability to connect with people, events, and information can also have other (perhaps negative or at least unnerving) repercussions.
For example, about five years ago I was involved in a bit of a 'love triangle.' J, A, and I were good friends. J was gay, A was bi, and I was (obviously) bi. We all went to (all girls, Catholic) high school together and were good friends. J and A were two years younger than I was, but they were both very mature so it didn't really matter. Anyway, I had a bit of a crush on A but didn't think it was reciprocated, so I didn't mention or act on it. Then, J and A began dating; however, after only about a month, A expressed regret over dating J. A said that they were just close friends and she confused her strong feelings of friendship for a more romantic feeling, and that she was sure of this because of romantic feelings she was having towards someone else. J thought A had feelings for me and also knew that their relationship was going nowhere. When J and A broke up, J pushed me to tell A how I felt about her--so I did. Long story short, we ended up dating for four years. J, however, was very hurt when we first began dating. This confused both A and I very much, as J had basically pushed me to talk to A about my feelings so that we would 'get together.' Well, it turns out that J didn't want A and I to date--not because of her feelings for A, but because of her feelings for ME. (Insert awkward social events here.) So when A and I began dating, A lost her best friend and I lost a very good friend (J) because J was angry at A for dating me, and angry at me for not being attracted to her.
ANYWAY, long story longer, since then (high school) A and I dated for approximately four years and totally grew apart from J. While A and I are no longer dating, we remain best friends. Now, J is in a relationship with someone else (also from high school) and is friends with both A and I on facebook. We've seen each other several times since high school, and have been friendly each time. Well, tonight I was curious to see what J was doing with her music, and came across her YouTube page.
This is where it gets odd--J has posted a live version of the song that she wrote about me; the song that she sung to me in the art room of our high school to explain that she had feelings for me--the song that drastically effected the entire social circle of our friends--the first song anyone had ever written about me.
In some ways, it was really good to hear the song again (and I've recorded it for posterity); but, at the same time, it was really strange to see it on the internet. This song was (and remains to be) a symbol of a really pivotal part of my life--and here it was on the internet! Strange. So, while the internet's ability to give us increased connectivity can be a useful tool, it can also be very odd and unnerving at times.
Anyway, J is actually a rather talented folksinger; so, if you're curious, here's the song:
Click to view