waking up
coming out of a long period of depression is weird.
it's like i feel myself slowly waking up from a long night's sleep. it's afternoon; i've missed much of the day. i see the light shining into my room. it's hazy, and so are the memories of my most recent dreams. i'm almost reluctant to get out of bed, but i know i'm ready. i don't really want to keep lying there anymore. it's a nice feeling, knowing that i'm well rested, but i also feel guilty for needing so much time. i stay a little longer, letting the dreams leave and thoughts of the day wash over me. the excitement gets the better of me and i get up. i'm somewhat trepidatious, scared that i've stayed sleeping too long, worried about what i've missed, but i tumble out of bed and walk quickly out of my room. those first steps are the hardest, but they're firm--i'm finally ready.
i wrote this to a friend because i thought she might understand. i hoped she would, at least, because as much as i feel like i'm waking up, i'm nervous that it's just a waking dream. will i fall back asleep tonight and be lured into the same deadened state? will i open my eyes tomorrow to the same emptiness? i hope not but, at least now, i have that hope.
the sun is streaming in through the window; i think it's time to get up.
it's like i feel myself slowly waking up from a long night's sleep. it's afternoon; i've missed much of the day. i see the light shining into my room. it's hazy, and so are the memories of my most recent dreams. i'm almost reluctant to get out of bed, but i know i'm ready. i don't really want to keep lying there anymore. it's a nice feeling, knowing that i'm well rested, but i also feel guilty for needing so much time. i stay a little longer, letting the dreams leave and thoughts of the day wash over me. the excitement gets the better of me and i get up. i'm somewhat trepidatious, scared that i've stayed sleeping too long, worried about what i've missed, but i tumble out of bed and walk quickly out of my room. those first steps are the hardest, but they're firm--i'm finally ready.
i wrote this to a friend because i thought she might understand. i hoped she would, at least, because as much as i feel like i'm waking up, i'm nervous that it's just a waking dream. will i fall back asleep tonight and be lured into the same deadened state? will i open my eyes tomorrow to the same emptiness? i hope not but, at least now, i have that hope.
the sun is streaming in through the window; i think it's time to get up.