And so it is.
I haven't written here in a long, long time.
I graduated law school, I passed the bar in NY, NJ, and DC.
I went on a month-long escapist trip that was great, and then life hit.
I had a job in law for under a month; it was horrible.
I started and stopped a music business experiment in six months.
My dad suffered a serious injury that nearly killed or crippled him, and while he's now OK, he's been forced to retire.
My grandfather died.
My friend died.
My parents are selling the house I grew up in.
I've resorted to nannying almost full-time and am still plummeting further into debt.
I've distanced myself from most of my friends because I feel like a failure and have no money to go out. One of the ones I cared about the most made this incredibly easy, and while I want to be angry at her for it, I mostly just . . . don't blame her.
I've lost any and all motivation to take pictures or make art.
I may not be able to pay my rent starting in April.
Things aren't great.
I'd like to say I'm working on it, but I'm pretty much just at a loss.
Posting this makes me feel like even more of a failure. But maybe, just maybe, it'll help.
My father is visiting this weekend. He tried to talk to me about how he's been acting (like an ass) and the state of my life, his life, everything . . . and I just looked at him and said, "I'm just too tired. I just can't right now."
That pretty much sums it up.
I hope you're all doing better.
I graduated law school, I passed the bar in NY, NJ, and DC.
I went on a month-long escapist trip that was great, and then life hit.
I had a job in law for under a month; it was horrible.
I started and stopped a music business experiment in six months.
My dad suffered a serious injury that nearly killed or crippled him, and while he's now OK, he's been forced to retire.
My grandfather died.
My friend died.
My parents are selling the house I grew up in.
I've resorted to nannying almost full-time and am still plummeting further into debt.
I've distanced myself from most of my friends because I feel like a failure and have no money to go out. One of the ones I cared about the most made this incredibly easy, and while I want to be angry at her for it, I mostly just . . . don't blame her.
I've lost any and all motivation to take pictures or make art.
I may not be able to pay my rent starting in April.
Things aren't great.
I'd like to say I'm working on it, but I'm pretty much just at a loss.
Posting this makes me feel like even more of a failure. But maybe, just maybe, it'll help.
My father is visiting this weekend. He tried to talk to me about how he's been acting (like an ass) and the state of my life, his life, everything . . . and I just looked at him and said, "I'm just too tired. I just can't right now."
That pretty much sums it up.
I hope you're all doing better.