Easter Eggs
This morning, mom woke me up 'cause I absolutely had to go to church for the Easter function. She had to cook as our neighborhoods would come to visit us, so I had to go there alone. I have been almost forced.
The fact is...that I don't believe. Or better, not that I don't believe in God, he must exist in a way, but I don't believe in church. And later I will explain why. I simply like to pray in my own little bedroom, or anywhere else, but on my own. I don't need a priest to get me in contact with God. He listens if He wants.
Unfortunately, my parents cannot get that. My mother does never go to church, in fact she's the one who cares the less, but at times it seems that she wants me to expire her lack of christian presence. The one who's deeply convinced that I should spend all my sunday mornings in church is my grandma. She's been atheist for her entire life, yet it seems that now she's afraid that she won't find a place to go and spend her afterlife, so she decided that Heaven might be a good place where to abide. It's human to fear the step-after-life, everyone would believe that life will continue somehow.. but.. which role have I in all that?
Sending me to Church will make y'all gain some Heaven-points? Does St. Peter keep the count of 'em? Do they give you a prize every 100?
Well, moral of the story, I got out and marched my way to the church alone. And... it was raining. Unfortunately I had no umbrella, so when I got in, I was soaking wet.
The church was all crowded with people, so I managed to sit on the ground in a corner and spent a hour listening.
The thing that I don't like about those functions in church, is the fact that they all look the same. No metter what, the prayers are the same, same words, same phrases. They are slightly different according to Christmas, Easter or else.. yet all people pray the same way. But what do people think? What do people wish for? Do they pray only because they fear.. or do they really believe? I tried to look at the faces around me, yet they all seemed sleepy and bored. Is this what we really want to do? Saturday at the mall and Sunday in church?
Is this a routine or what?
That's what I don't wanna be a part of. I want to believe when I feel like believing in something, when I feel that this something is really around me. And if this something can help me.. well, very welcome.
I came back home completely wet, spent a few good hours with neighborhoods, sent via text message a few Happy Easter wishes and ate part of my chocolate egg and found a nice surprise, a tiny hairset with pins and ribbons (I love ribbons^^')
Then, LordGerard came and picked me up, so we went to the cinema to see "Spiderwick - the Chronicles" that we wanted to see just because the main character is named JARED Grace.. mwhahahahaha that was totally insane, but we liked the movie and laughed a lot about the protagonist, whom was the most stupid kid on earth. I mean, if someone tells you not to do something, what do you do? DO IT, OBVIOUSLY! You good-looking puppy-eyed asshole....
We came back home under the pouring rain and sang almost the whole Black Parade album in the car. I left after performing "I don't love you", which is the most beautiful song ever. We are a great duo! I play Evil Frank Iero and she plays Lord Gerard Way. It's awesome sharing those performances in the car. They make me wanna live. I'm so lucky having such a friend.
*Lord Gerard and Evil Frank will someday rule the world!*
(To those who commented the previous post, thanks for your love and support...)
The fact is...that I don't believe. Or better, not that I don't believe in God, he must exist in a way, but I don't believe in church. And later I will explain why. I simply like to pray in my own little bedroom, or anywhere else, but on my own. I don't need a priest to get me in contact with God. He listens if He wants.
Unfortunately, my parents cannot get that. My mother does never go to church, in fact she's the one who cares the less, but at times it seems that she wants me to expire her lack of christian presence. The one who's deeply convinced that I should spend all my sunday mornings in church is my grandma. She's been atheist for her entire life, yet it seems that now she's afraid that she won't find a place to go and spend her afterlife, so she decided that Heaven might be a good place where to abide. It's human to fear the step-after-life, everyone would believe that life will continue somehow.. but.. which role have I in all that?
Sending me to Church will make y'all gain some Heaven-points? Does St. Peter keep the count of 'em? Do they give you a prize every 100?
Well, moral of the story, I got out and marched my way to the church alone. And... it was raining. Unfortunately I had no umbrella, so when I got in, I was soaking wet.
The church was all crowded with people, so I managed to sit on the ground in a corner and spent a hour listening.
The thing that I don't like about those functions in church, is the fact that they all look the same. No metter what, the prayers are the same, same words, same phrases. They are slightly different according to Christmas, Easter or else.. yet all people pray the same way. But what do people think? What do people wish for? Do they pray only because they fear.. or do they really believe? I tried to look at the faces around me, yet they all seemed sleepy and bored. Is this what we really want to do? Saturday at the mall and Sunday in church?
Is this a routine or what?
That's what I don't wanna be a part of. I want to believe when I feel like believing in something, when I feel that this something is really around me. And if this something can help me.. well, very welcome.
I came back home completely wet, spent a few good hours with neighborhoods, sent via text message a few Happy Easter wishes and ate part of my chocolate egg and found a nice surprise, a tiny hairset with pins and ribbons (I love ribbons^^')
Then, LordGerard came and picked me up, so we went to the cinema to see "Spiderwick - the Chronicles" that we wanted to see just because the main character is named JARED Grace.. mwhahahahaha that was totally insane, but we liked the movie and laughed a lot about the protagonist, whom was the most stupid kid on earth. I mean, if someone tells you not to do something, what do you do? DO IT, OBVIOUSLY! You good-looking puppy-eyed asshole....
We came back home under the pouring rain and sang almost the whole Black Parade album in the car. I left after performing "I don't love you", which is the most beautiful song ever. We are a great duo! I play Evil Frank Iero and she plays Lord Gerard Way. It's awesome sharing those performances in the car. They make me wanna live. I'm so lucky having such a friend.
*Lord Gerard and Evil Frank will someday rule the world!*
(To those who commented the previous post, thanks for your love and support...)