from the one you left behind.
I've been pretty happy lately.
There's not really a specific reason.
In fact, things are still very stagnant and unfullfilling.
I still dislike my job and pay rate and the long commute.
My social life is as defunct as ever.
I haven't had a relationship in so many years, that I've
actually lost count. I think it's going on 4 years now.
I could go on, but I really don't need to.
I'm just really at peace with everything at this time.
I've aged so much this last year.
I have grey hair all over, and I haven't decided if I
want to cover them up or not. I can't believe I'm going
to be 34 soon. There are still a lot of things that I
still want to do, and I don't feel as bad about getting
older anymore.
I've been dreaming more vividly and more than usual.
I like sleeping because of this. A few times, I have
been able to choose and "continue" certain dreams if
I wake up, especially when I get up to hit the snooze.
I also have several recurring dreams. Lately, they
have been of driving and looking for exits and missing
them and not being able to control the car I'm driving,
travelling to different places with my brother, Rick,
trying to look at something but not being able to see it
because I can't open my eyes wide enough, and of this
guy, Jason, who I don't even know in person.
I'm not really into dream interpretation and all of that,
but I like that I'm starting to be able to control my
dreams and I'm going to keep trying to continue dreams
where they left off if I wake up. I seem to have the
same dilemas in my recurring dreams, and I want to
try to overcome these obstacles in my dreams. I always
miss the exits and I can't control the car, and I never
have the strength to open my eyes to see what I'm trying
to look at.
Guadalupe was so wacky on the reunion show.
I got teary eyed when Nick left.
Santino can be a jerk, but I kinda like his style.
I don't know if I want him or Daniel to win.
I normally don't watch these type of shows, but I
can't wait until Wednesday. Vivi and I watch it together.
Well I decided not to go to Albuquerque, afterall.
I started to think of how odd things were in San Diego
and I told Ricky I decided not go. I felt bad because
he said he was looking forward to it, but then I told him
that I didn't think he'd have a good time with me
because things are so different now...and he said that
I outgrew him and our other friends. I'm not sure that's
exactly true, it just seems like I'm on a different
page than everyone else. I used to be so in sync
with everyone. I don't know why it's different now.
I still care about my friends a lot and I miss them...
but I really long to meet someone special who I can relate
to on a simple, natural level. I don't feel as if I've
intenionally pushed anyone away, I think we have just drifted
apart from each other. I don't really like that, but that's
just the way it's been lately.
So it's been another month and I'm still eating organic.
I don't even eat out as much as I had planned to. I've lost
15 pounds altogether. I'm looking forward starting to walk
soon. I have been feeling really healthy and I know this
will help so much more.
There's not really a specific reason.
In fact, things are still very stagnant and unfullfilling.
I still dislike my job and pay rate and the long commute.
My social life is as defunct as ever.
I haven't had a relationship in so many years, that I've
actually lost count. I think it's going on 4 years now.
I could go on, but I really don't need to.
I'm just really at peace with everything at this time.
I've aged so much this last year.
I have grey hair all over, and I haven't decided if I
want to cover them up or not. I can't believe I'm going
to be 34 soon. There are still a lot of things that I
still want to do, and I don't feel as bad about getting
older anymore.
I've been dreaming more vividly and more than usual.
I like sleeping because of this. A few times, I have
been able to choose and "continue" certain dreams if
I wake up, especially when I get up to hit the snooze.
I also have several recurring dreams. Lately, they
have been of driving and looking for exits and missing
them and not being able to control the car I'm driving,
travelling to different places with my brother, Rick,
trying to look at something but not being able to see it
because I can't open my eyes wide enough, and of this
guy, Jason, who I don't even know in person.
I'm not really into dream interpretation and all of that,
but I like that I'm starting to be able to control my
dreams and I'm going to keep trying to continue dreams
where they left off if I wake up. I seem to have the
same dilemas in my recurring dreams, and I want to
try to overcome these obstacles in my dreams. I always
miss the exits and I can't control the car, and I never
have the strength to open my eyes to see what I'm trying
to look at.
Guadalupe was so wacky on the reunion show.
I got teary eyed when Nick left.
Santino can be a jerk, but I kinda like his style.
I don't know if I want him or Daniel to win.
I normally don't watch these type of shows, but I
can't wait until Wednesday. Vivi and I watch it together.
Well I decided not to go to Albuquerque, afterall.
I started to think of how odd things were in San Diego
and I told Ricky I decided not go. I felt bad because
he said he was looking forward to it, but then I told him
that I didn't think he'd have a good time with me
because things are so different now...and he said that
I outgrew him and our other friends. I'm not sure that's
exactly true, it just seems like I'm on a different
page than everyone else. I used to be so in sync
with everyone. I don't know why it's different now.
I still care about my friends a lot and I miss them...
but I really long to meet someone special who I can relate
to on a simple, natural level. I don't feel as if I've
intenionally pushed anyone away, I think we have just drifted
apart from each other. I don't really like that, but that's
just the way it's been lately.
So it's been another month and I'm still eating organic.
I don't even eat out as much as I had planned to. I've lost
15 pounds altogether. I'm looking forward starting to walk
soon. I have been feeling really healthy and I know this
will help so much more.