kissing the lipless.
So, it's been a month and I have not eaten fast food or drank sodas. I can't believe how
much better I feel. I never thought eating healthy would make such a difference. I
thought that giving up caffeine would be extremely hard and that I would be tired all
the time. I feel like a have a little more energy than before. I love all the good
organic vegan food I am cooking and eating.
I've lost over ten pounds in just a month and I wasn't even expecting that. I know that
might not be a LOT of weight to some people, but it is for me. I was stuck at my previous
weight for a long time so for me to see the scale finally move down was a surprise. I have
always been comfortable with my size and the way I look. I never wanted to lose weight
just to look skinny and I've never been pressured to feel that I need to lose weight to
fit in or so others would like me/date me. Even when I found and read a journal of someone
I was dating claiming that they were ashamed to be seen with me because of my weight,
it didn't make me want to lose weight. Sure, it traumatized me and made me feel horrible,
but only because someone who said they cared about me and wanted a future with me wrote
that stuff...but I really want someone who likes me for me.
Now I'm not saying it's healthy to let yourself go and get as fat as you want...but if you
are healthy and feel good about yourself, then that's what counts. I always told myself
that I was comfortable with who I am and if I want to lose weight, it will be when I want to
and how I want to and only because I want to do it for myself. Well I guess now is that time.
I'm looking forward to losing more weight and I like that I feel healthier because of it.
I know I'm doing it the healthy way instead of taking risky pills or shots.
Good grief, I don't have much else to declare. I really don't do much these days. I'm working
in HR again and I have to wake up early...so I don't really go out anymore. I've been hanging
out with Bobby and we'll go out to eat once a week and watch tv at his house. Sometimes I talk
to Ricky but he doesn't come over anymore like he used to. I miss him a lot and I still miss the
way things were with us before everything changed. I still long for that, but I suppose I'm
managing with the way things are. I stopped his house last week to drop off an Amy's burrito,
a vegan mint chocolate chip cookie, and some organic lip balm...but he just came out to get the
bag because I had to go home.
I went to Jonathan's mom's coffee shop the other day to visit Jonathan. It's a really cute place.
He did all the wall art there, and it is really good. He is a brillant and talented artist.
Maybe he'll let me post some pictures of it. Last nite I asked Ricky if he wanted to go with
me to Albuquerque sometime this month, just for the weekend. I can't ask for any vacation until
we are finished with this hiring season and I feel like I need to get out of town soon. I wanted
to go to Austin in March, too...but that may just have to be a weekend thing as well.
Maybe I'll get out more when it starts warming up. The nites are still chilly here. I dearly
miss all my friends and spending time with them. I miss Ricky a lot...and I miss Jonathan, Mo,
Dom, Patc, and Chrispy (even though she's mad that I don't call her). I even called Tina the
other day just to talk. I never thought I would drift so far apart from my friends. The truth
is, I am really lonely...I adore all my friends, but sometimes I feel like I don't have anyone
to relate to. I think I'm just getting older and I feel the need to settle down. I would be
happy with that.
I still haven't charged my camera batteries.
I can't stop listening to the shins.
much better I feel. I never thought eating healthy would make such a difference. I
thought that giving up caffeine would be extremely hard and that I would be tired all
the time. I feel like a have a little more energy than before. I love all the good
organic vegan food I am cooking and eating.
I've lost over ten pounds in just a month and I wasn't even expecting that. I know that
might not be a LOT of weight to some people, but it is for me. I was stuck at my previous
weight for a long time so for me to see the scale finally move down was a surprise. I have
always been comfortable with my size and the way I look. I never wanted to lose weight
just to look skinny and I've never been pressured to feel that I need to lose weight to
fit in or so others would like me/date me. Even when I found and read a journal of someone
I was dating claiming that they were ashamed to be seen with me because of my weight,
it didn't make me want to lose weight. Sure, it traumatized me and made me feel horrible,
but only because someone who said they cared about me and wanted a future with me wrote
that stuff...but I really want someone who likes me for me.
Now I'm not saying it's healthy to let yourself go and get as fat as you want...but if you
are healthy and feel good about yourself, then that's what counts. I always told myself
that I was comfortable with who I am and if I want to lose weight, it will be when I want to
and how I want to and only because I want to do it for myself. Well I guess now is that time.
I'm looking forward to losing more weight and I like that I feel healthier because of it.
I know I'm doing it the healthy way instead of taking risky pills or shots.
Good grief, I don't have much else to declare. I really don't do much these days. I'm working
in HR again and I have to wake up early...so I don't really go out anymore. I've been hanging
out with Bobby and we'll go out to eat once a week and watch tv at his house. Sometimes I talk
to Ricky but he doesn't come over anymore like he used to. I miss him a lot and I still miss the
way things were with us before everything changed. I still long for that, but I suppose I'm
managing with the way things are. I stopped his house last week to drop off an Amy's burrito,
a vegan mint chocolate chip cookie, and some organic lip balm...but he just came out to get the
bag because I had to go home.
I went to Jonathan's mom's coffee shop the other day to visit Jonathan. It's a really cute place.
He did all the wall art there, and it is really good. He is a brillant and talented artist.
Maybe he'll let me post some pictures of it. Last nite I asked Ricky if he wanted to go with
me to Albuquerque sometime this month, just for the weekend. I can't ask for any vacation until
we are finished with this hiring season and I feel like I need to get out of town soon. I wanted
to go to Austin in March, too...but that may just have to be a weekend thing as well.
Maybe I'll get out more when it starts warming up. The nites are still chilly here. I dearly
miss all my friends and spending time with them. I miss Ricky a lot...and I miss Jonathan, Mo,
Dom, Patc, and Chrispy (even though she's mad that I don't call her). I even called Tina the
other day just to talk. I never thought I would drift so far apart from my friends. The truth
is, I am really lonely...I adore all my friends, but sometimes I feel like I don't have anyone
to relate to. I think I'm just getting older and I feel the need to settle down. I would be
happy with that.
I still haven't charged my camera batteries.
I can't stop listening to the shins.