(no subject)
i am now living off the "wicked" soundtrack ..along with rocky horror as usual.
i had a slightly average day. i wasnt too terribly cynical (for the sake of everyone else). i dont know. i was at school til 4:30. a little much. i live there now.(feels like it sometimes) but amanda let me do her english homework and that always manages to excite me.
although i have been having a real problem with mirrors lately (they make me burst out in tears) my self esteem seems to lower daily as my thighs expand.
i want to hear a british accent. i want someone to say "hello love" in a british accent. i want someone to whisper french into my ear. i want to reach out and touch everyone i love. and i want to love everyone.
i dont even know what im saying anymore i just have to say something. and really whats the point of a journal if no one reads it but you? im drowning in insignificance. i want you all to read all the journals ive ever kept.. i want you to know my every thought. i dont want to be insignificant. i dont want to be alone.
and theres something about paul that reminds me of ben. i dont know what it is because they are so different. but there is something..and it scares the shit out of me. because i couldnt live with myself if i lost someone like paul. and im doing it again. im doing what i always do. but i have to stop this time. because he means way too much. this is way too different.
i had a slightly average day. i wasnt too terribly cynical (for the sake of everyone else). i dont know. i was at school til 4:30. a little much. i live there now.(feels like it sometimes) but amanda let me do her english homework and that always manages to excite me.
although i have been having a real problem with mirrors lately (they make me burst out in tears) my self esteem seems to lower daily as my thighs expand.
i want to hear a british accent. i want someone to say "hello love" in a british accent. i want someone to whisper french into my ear. i want to reach out and touch everyone i love. and i want to love everyone.
i dont even know what im saying anymore i just have to say something. and really whats the point of a journal if no one reads it but you? im drowning in insignificance. i want you all to read all the journals ive ever kept.. i want you to know my every thought. i dont want to be insignificant. i dont want to be alone.
and theres something about paul that reminds me of ben. i dont know what it is because they are so different. but there is something..and it scares the shit out of me. because i couldnt live with myself if i lost someone like paul. and im doing it again. im doing what i always do. but i have to stop this time. because he means way too much. this is way too different.