(no subject)
Well, after some consideration this is probably the most concise thing I can say.
I am saying it here, with the comments turned off, because I don't want a damn response right now, and I'm not emailing you because seeing your name in my inbox related to all the fucking idiotic stress makes me nauseous. You can either read this or not read this.
1. I am not saying this because "I don't want you to have good things and be happy". I want you to have good things. I want you to be happy. I don't think this behaviour is going to lead to you being happy. I think it is going to lead to you being very UNhappy, and self-pitying, and feeling worse about yourself than before.
2. I am concerned you are becoming precisely the person you have always told me you were trying very hard to avoid ever being again.
3. "I want it" is not always a good enough justification for something. *I* want to spend my entire life face-down in a heroin dream, but it's pretty fucking obvious that this is NOT GOOD FOR ME. Please, for the sake of my sanity if you cannot be trusted to care about your own, accept that despite you "wanting it", this is not good for you.
4. Anything that leads to you a) giving transparently different stories to different friends b) giving transparently different stories to the same person in the SAME CONVERSATION and expecting them to believe you c) outright lying to the people who care about you d) using the same language and deflections towards your friends as you have done towards your loathed bosses is NOT A GOOD THING. IT IS NOT A GOOD THING. IT IS NOT A THING WHICH IS GOOD FOR YOU.
5. You are lying and/or delusional, behaving uncharacteristically, and constantly revising history. This is not awesome. This is the total fucking opposite of awesome. I want you to be happy and I want to be able to talk to you but there is NO FUCKING WAY I am going to be able to talk to you if I have to watch you re-enact the stupidest dumbshit from my life complete with "ignoring advice to the contrary".
6. You are my friend and I love you very much. When you need me and are both prepared to stop doing the stupid thing and not to lie to me about it, I will be there. At the moment, I will be mostly sitting at a distance tearing myself to literal shreds because I CANNOT FUCKING MAKE YOU STOP AND IT REALLY FUCKING HURTS.
I am saying it here, with the comments turned off, because I don't want a damn response right now, and I'm not emailing you because seeing your name in my inbox related to all the fucking idiotic stress makes me nauseous. You can either read this or not read this.
1. I am not saying this because "I don't want you to have good things and be happy". I want you to have good things. I want you to be happy. I don't think this behaviour is going to lead to you being happy. I think it is going to lead to you being very UNhappy, and self-pitying, and feeling worse about yourself than before.
2. I am concerned you are becoming precisely the person you have always told me you were trying very hard to avoid ever being again.
3. "I want it" is not always a good enough justification for something. *I* want to spend my entire life face-down in a heroin dream, but it's pretty fucking obvious that this is NOT GOOD FOR ME. Please, for the sake of my sanity if you cannot be trusted to care about your own, accept that despite you "wanting it", this is not good for you.
4. Anything that leads to you a) giving transparently different stories to different friends b) giving transparently different stories to the same person in the SAME CONVERSATION and expecting them to believe you c) outright lying to the people who care about you d) using the same language and deflections towards your friends as you have done towards your loathed bosses is NOT A GOOD THING. IT IS NOT A GOOD THING. IT IS NOT A THING WHICH IS GOOD FOR YOU.
5. You are lying and/or delusional, behaving uncharacteristically, and constantly revising history. This is not awesome. This is the total fucking opposite of awesome. I want you to be happy and I want to be able to talk to you but there is NO FUCKING WAY I am going to be able to talk to you if I have to watch you re-enact the stupidest dumbshit from my life complete with "ignoring advice to the contrary".
6. You are my friend and I love you very much. When you need me and are both prepared to stop doing the stupid thing and not to lie to me about it, I will be there. At the moment, I will be mostly sitting at a distance tearing myself to literal shreds because I CANNOT FUCKING MAKE YOU STOP AND IT REALLY FUCKING HURTS.