this is more banal shit that you will die of boredom to read

[apiphile]

1. Parts of my life appear to have been written by a fanfic author. I'm content with this, I just find it howlingly ridiculous and when next someone complains about romcoms being unrealistic because "normal people would just talk to each other" I will tell them to get fucked OH MY GOD HAVE YOU MET PEOPLE? WE'RE TERRIBLE. AT. COMMUNICATING. People

Comments

[wolfy_writing]

1. I think the communication thing is one of those areas where people complaining get confused between badly-written communication failures and the idea that those things never happen. If a character is going to run around lying or avoiding conversation when the truth would fix everything, there needs to be some indications of why. However, what sounds like a convincing reason is going to vary depending on the kind of communication one is used to (culture and family environments being big factors), and everyone's kind of stuck with disagreements on what's plausible. (There are clear-cut cases of bad writing, but there are also cases where individual interpretation comes in.)

I get the same irritation when it comes to "Look at all of these examples of badly-improvised lube! Everyone should just stick to store-bought Astroglide or non-penetrative sex! It's the most sensible option!", when I'm all "Why does everyone have to be as sensible as possible about sex? Lots of people are not-perfectly-sensible thrill-seeking risk-takers!" Only they're arguing with that one annoying fangirl who somehow badly misconstrued the meaning of "sand in the vagina", so it's hard to have a conversation.

On the fanfic thing, I have the eyes of a Mary-Sue.

[apiphile]

Purple eyes? :D

"Why does everyone have to be as sensible as possible about sex? Lots of people are not-perfectly-sensible thrill-seeking risk-takers!"

Argh exactly! People are full of fail! And who the fuck is sensible about sex? Or negotiates terms? Or -- loads of people are complete idiots about sex and with so many characters it just feels like they would be too especially when they idiots in EVERY OTHER AREA.

[wolfy_writing]

Sort of a blue-green color that changes with the light and really big, with just a trace of heterochroma so people take a moment to realize they don't match. I have actually had strangers come up to me and comment on them in oddly poetic terms. Basically, the stuff in fanfic everyone says doesn't happen. (Although no one has ever called them "orbs" to my face.)

Yeah, there's a while range of sexual behavior. The talking things out in detail and doing plenty of planning approach may be sensible, but it's far from being universal. A lot of people do a small amount of informal planning and negotiation, and there are plenty of people who just jump right in. (And hardly anyone does the constant string of "Yes, I consent to being touched here, and I consent to being touched here, and I consent to being touched here" thing that's sometimes presented as The Right Way To Have Sex.)

Now if someone wants to argue characterization and say that a particular character seems more sensible and less impulsive then a fic portrays them, there's room to discuss things. And I agree that fic should show reasonable consequences for bad decisions. (By reasonable, I don't mean shit like "Unprotected sex always results in disease and/or pregnancy" or "If the act would give the character a yeast infection, they must either not do it or provide a detailed description of the infection", but stuff like "Applying sand to one's genitals and rubbing would hurt anyone with normal human anatomy".) But writing everyone as making the most sensible possible decision, whether in sex or communication, is implausible and bad writing.

[apiphile]

Oh! Linds has eyes of that sort of green/blue/whatever i am today hue.

And hardly anyone does the constant string of "Yes, I consent to being touched here, and I consent to being touched here, and I consent to being touched here" thing that's sometimes presented as The Right Way To Have Sex.

If that was mandatory I would never get laid because I would get fed up with being asked and just decide that I didn't want to have sex after all. HOW ENORMOUSLY TEDIOUS AND ANNOYING. "Do you give your full and free consent to--" "NO BUT I WANT AN ORGASM SO HOW ABOUT STOP TALKING AND START FUCKING"

But writing everyone as making the most sensible possible decision, whether in sex or communication, is implausible and bad writing.

HEAR HEAR!