(no subject)
Well I've officially lost it.
I had a massive panic attack last night, like I mean massive. It wouldnt stop.
I couldnt stop shaking, breathing heavy, freaking out, crying, thinking that I was going to die. Poor Shawn didnt have a clue what to do. I didnt know what to do either. It's not like I've ever went through that before. I've had tiny ones where I just feel sick and worry and shake for like 5-10 minutes but this one lasted a very long time. Over a hour didnt like that at all. I couldnt sleep, I couldnt breath, I felt like I was going to throw up, I thought I was going to have a heart attack, dear god.
I'm moving soon and I should be alright its just I have this thing that is making me worry that I will die. I dont know what it is it could be cancer or a tumor or cyst or even a abscess or you know it could just be absolutly nothing. -Sigh- I should go get it checked but I seem to be one of those people that is afraid of doctors, if they tell me something bad I'll freak out and get a panic attack. Like what if you found out you had cancer? or a tumor?? something that would kill you?? I already cant have fucking children I dont wanna die! I want to spend my life with my bf and live it. I'm only 20 years old!!!! ok I'm starting again! I thought by writing it would help but its not. I'm just rocking back and forth now worrying!! This SUCKS ASS!!!!!!!!!!!
I just want this to go away, seriously... I'm going to go play some games to get my mind off this!
Ciao Bella
I had a massive panic attack last night, like I mean massive. It wouldnt stop.
I couldnt stop shaking, breathing heavy, freaking out, crying, thinking that I was going to die. Poor Shawn didnt have a clue what to do. I didnt know what to do either. It's not like I've ever went through that before. I've had tiny ones where I just feel sick and worry and shake for like 5-10 minutes but this one lasted a very long time. Over a hour didnt like that at all. I couldnt sleep, I couldnt breath, I felt like I was going to throw up, I thought I was going to have a heart attack, dear god.
I'm moving soon and I should be alright its just I have this thing that is making me worry that I will die. I dont know what it is it could be cancer or a tumor or cyst or even a abscess or you know it could just be absolutly nothing. -Sigh- I should go get it checked but I seem to be one of those people that is afraid of doctors, if they tell me something bad I'll freak out and get a panic attack. Like what if you found out you had cancer? or a tumor?? something that would kill you?? I already cant have fucking children I dont wanna die! I want to spend my life with my bf and live it. I'm only 20 years old!!!! ok I'm starting again! I thought by writing it would help but its not. I'm just rocking back and forth now worrying!! This SUCKS ASS!!!!!!!!!!!
I just want this to go away, seriously... I'm going to go play some games to get my mind off this!
Ciao Bella