An Essay and Human Thought
So I have some serious questions I need answered.
Is my voicemail really that offensive? My mom and sister refuse to leave me messages, and if they do leave me one, it is about how disgusting my voicemail is and how I need to change it or they won't leave me them anymore. Rachel doesn't like it either.
Secondly, do I really talk that fast? I mean I know I talk fast, that is one of my vices, but am I completely impossible to comprehend? I will be talking to my parents and they will just blatantly say " You are talking too fast I can't understand you." It really pisses me off so then I don't finish what I have to say. It really annoys me. I got in a huge fight with my mom today. I brought up to her how all she and my family does is complain about me. My mom ridicules me for how long my hair is, how I talk too fast, how I treat Rachel bad, how I am still in love with Chloe, etc. She just tears me apart. My whole family does it too. I am like my their whipping boy. My little brother does nothing wrong because he is too young and doesn't know any better. My sister went to U of M and she is out in the "real "world" now so she cannot err. I'm just here going go to some state college w/o a job and so I am a failure. My mom is like "I never said you were a failure." That's what people don't understand though. It is not just what you say. It is how you say it and how you act. I can tell someone I love them, but if I say it with a sarcastic tone and then start punching you, do I really love you?
I was self-reflecting all the way home from Rachel's house, but I really don't think I can convey that to LJ. Not that LJ is trendy or what not, it's just that these thoughts come to me so fast and quick that I cannot jot them down. You pretentious people can have your leather bound journal with papyrus pages, I don't care. A journal is a journal. Livejournal has a knock on it because it isnt't "real" Maybe that's true. But right now I am being the realest I have ever been.
I just got off the phone having a "real" conversation with Tieppo's mom. I guess she caught him drinking and driving again and I had to come to his defense. Tieppo has a problem. He is an alcoholic. I should be the bigger person and tell him not to drink and he needs to be careful and examine his goals in life but that's not me. I like that he drinks. I like he treats women like objects. That's what makes him who he is. I love that kid to death. He'd do anything for me, and I don't want him to change. I love all of my friends and I know sometimes I blow them off and treat them badly but I need all of you guys.
Above and beyond my fight with my mom, the whole Chloe situation really tears me apart. It isn't even with her. It is how people treat me with respect to her. My mom has this notion that I am desperately in love with Chloe and I am just using Rachel because I can't get her. I am not in love with her and who is to say I ever was. I enjoy the company of someone else. Everyone is afraid of being alone and I am no different. Chloe was my company for awhile, but times have changed and I have accepted this. Chloe was good to me and I still love her. Have you guys not seen Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? At the end of the movie, they both know she will stop liking him and he will get crazy and all that jazz, but they still decide to go on with it. They know that the memories they will have and the experience they get are more important than anything. That is how it is with Chloe. The things I went through with her are more important than the fights we get in now. I don't even think her and I are friends now, but she was one of the best things to ever happen to me.
I am sorry for rambling on. I doubt anyone got through all of this. Sean Brennan attempting to be serious is kinda funny. It's like some handicapped guy walking down the street with some black drag midget holding hands. Yeah I did say that. You stare at it and think am I really seeing this. Then you laugh to yourself and say naw. Take what you want from what I said. Much love.
Is my voicemail really that offensive? My mom and sister refuse to leave me messages, and if they do leave me one, it is about how disgusting my voicemail is and how I need to change it or they won't leave me them anymore. Rachel doesn't like it either.
Secondly, do I really talk that fast? I mean I know I talk fast, that is one of my vices, but am I completely impossible to comprehend? I will be talking to my parents and they will just blatantly say " You are talking too fast I can't understand you." It really pisses me off so then I don't finish what I have to say. It really annoys me. I got in a huge fight with my mom today. I brought up to her how all she and my family does is complain about me. My mom ridicules me for how long my hair is, how I talk too fast, how I treat Rachel bad, how I am still in love with Chloe, etc. She just tears me apart. My whole family does it too. I am like my their whipping boy. My little brother does nothing wrong because he is too young and doesn't know any better. My sister went to U of M and she is out in the "real "world" now so she cannot err. I'm just here going go to some state college w/o a job and so I am a failure. My mom is like "I never said you were a failure." That's what people don't understand though. It is not just what you say. It is how you say it and how you act. I can tell someone I love them, but if I say it with a sarcastic tone and then start punching you, do I really love you?
I was self-reflecting all the way home from Rachel's house, but I really don't think I can convey that to LJ. Not that LJ is trendy or what not, it's just that these thoughts come to me so fast and quick that I cannot jot them down. You pretentious people can have your leather bound journal with papyrus pages, I don't care. A journal is a journal. Livejournal has a knock on it because it isnt't "real" Maybe that's true. But right now I am being the realest I have ever been.
I just got off the phone having a "real" conversation with Tieppo's mom. I guess she caught him drinking and driving again and I had to come to his defense. Tieppo has a problem. He is an alcoholic. I should be the bigger person and tell him not to drink and he needs to be careful and examine his goals in life but that's not me. I like that he drinks. I like he treats women like objects. That's what makes him who he is. I love that kid to death. He'd do anything for me, and I don't want him to change. I love all of my friends and I know sometimes I blow them off and treat them badly but I need all of you guys.
Above and beyond my fight with my mom, the whole Chloe situation really tears me apart. It isn't even with her. It is how people treat me with respect to her. My mom has this notion that I am desperately in love with Chloe and I am just using Rachel because I can't get her. I am not in love with her and who is to say I ever was. I enjoy the company of someone else. Everyone is afraid of being alone and I am no different. Chloe was my company for awhile, but times have changed and I have accepted this. Chloe was good to me and I still love her. Have you guys not seen Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? At the end of the movie, they both know she will stop liking him and he will get crazy and all that jazz, but they still decide to go on with it. They know that the memories they will have and the experience they get are more important than anything. That is how it is with Chloe. The things I went through with her are more important than the fights we get in now. I don't even think her and I are friends now, but she was one of the best things to ever happen to me.
I am sorry for rambling on. I doubt anyone got through all of this. Sean Brennan attempting to be serious is kinda funny. It's like some handicapped guy walking down the street with some black drag midget holding hands. Yeah I did say that. You stare at it and think am I really seeing this. Then you laugh to yourself and say naw. Take what you want from what I said. Much love.