what a wicked web we weave..

[apartofme]

at first i thought that all that mattered today was that One Tree Hill was on tonight..then a chain of events, followed by unhappy yet provoked thoughts, has thoroughly downed by day.

damn it to people that i do not like.

damn it that there are not enough people that i like.

sometimes i'm just plain not happy.

i really wanted to go to the show last night. despite the fact that murder by death was not playing.

it's because of days like these that make me want to move.

i know what it is that i NEED to do to make myself happy, or at least content, yet it's the HOW to acquire these things that's the problem.
i've got the boy i've always wanted. and i've got a job. i've got a car that runs and i own nice things. but sometimes, material possessions just don't suffice. nor do they replace that despairing void that i'm trying so desperately to fill.

is this how i had predicted my life to be two years ago? no.
is that okay? i'll have to get back to you.

you keep saying that i'm too good for this and too good for that. i don't understand. what if i'm not? what if that's my fatal flaw?

i'll figure this out on my own.

to the boy who has my heart: i'll go to sleep loving you tonight. i'll wake up in the morning, loving you even more.