TCW Explosion, Episode 5
I've given up all semblance of a regular updating schedule, AND I DON'T CARE!
*Opening video has changed. This time, it shows the new champions, each performing their finishing moves, before showcasing some of the other talent. Opening pyro, pan the crowd, finally focus on Cole and Jesse*
Cole: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Twin Cities Wrestling Explosion! We're coming off of an absolutely *amazing* Run for Glory.
Ventura: Where the *rightful* champion finally won the Gimmick Division belt! The gold has come home, Cole!
Cole: Shane McMahon stole that victory, and you know it, Partner! He needed both Horace the Psychopath *and* Seamus to help him win that title!
Ventura: It was a no disqualification match. You call it stealing, I call it smart!
Cole: In any case, we start tonight off with some tag team action. The Motor City Machine Guns against the Rock and Rave Infection!
*R&R's entrance music begins playing, and they pose for the crowd at the top of the ramp before coming down to the ring, rocking hard on their plastic guitars. The Guns' entrance music plays, and the Guns come from the back, posing for the crowd before running to the ring. Sabin and Rock start things off, and the bell rings. They lock up, and Rock swings Sabin around and throws him into the corner. He closes in, hitting a few forearms before the Ref admonishes him to get Sabin out of the corner. Rock backs up, and Sabin tries to shake the cobwebs for a moment before they return to the center of the ring. Rock goes for another lockup, but Sabin ducks it and delivers two quick kicks to the back of the knee. He then grabs Rock, and drags him to the corner, where Shelly is already waiting with a boot out. He slams Rock's head into the boot, before tagging in to Shelly. Shelly hops to the rope, springboards off, and hits Rock with a flying clothesline before rolling up and posing for the crowd. He then moves over to tag Sabin back in, when D-X comes running in from the crowd. They slide into the ring, and jump the Guns, starting a brawl. The Ref calls for the bell, throwing the match out from the blatant interference*
Cole: What...What are D-X doing here?!
Ventura: Payback for the Guns costing them their shot at the number one contendership!
Cole: D-X did that themselves!
*The Guns try to mount an offense, but they're quickly beaten down. The beat down ends with Michaels hitting a Sweet Chin Music on Shelly, and HHH hitting a Pedigree on Sabin. D-X stands over the fallen Guns, deliver a crotch chop taunt, and then head to the back*
Cole: ...We're gonna take a quick commercial break while the EMT's check on the Guns! Stay tuned!
(Commercial: *Satan stands amidst factory lines, robots making a bunch of what looks like RisenChrist candies*
Satan: Yes! I have discovered the formula! Soon, my FallenLou candies will overrun the world!
*A puff of smoke appears next to Satan, and there's Jesus! Satan looks surprised, and Jesus uses the distraction to spinning kung fu kick Satan in the face. Satan flies back into the factory line, chocolate squares flying everywhere. Jesus moves to his fallen body, speaking sternly*
Jesus: Not even close, Satan! You may have mimiced the creamy chocolate coating, but what makes RisenChrist truly great is the crunchy, Christ filled center! And you can never copy that!
*Jingle: RisenChrist, RisenChrist...,then there's a close up on Satan*
Satan: *sounding pained*...Try the Lord today....
*Bell dings as Jesus smiles broadly for the camera*)
*Scene opens on Lauren, backstage with D-X*
Lauren: D-Generation X! You just blatantly attacked the Motor City Machine Guns! Commissioner Slaughter has been very strict about that sort of thing, and...
Michaels: *Rips the microphone from Lauren* Guns! You think you can try to show us up?! You think either Hunter or I are going to stand back and let you bounce around the ring, acting like you have any chance of making it in this business? You're nothing but a couple of young upstarts who...
*The Guns run in from the side, and attack D-X. Lauren gets the hell out of dodge. Security comes to break it up, the camera staying on the brawl for several minutes before security finally gets the two teams pulled apart. The scene shifts back to Cole and Ventura*
Cole: I don't think we've seen the last of this rivalry, Jesse.
Ventura: Of course we haven't. D-X hasn't finished beating up on the Guns!
Cole:...I've just received word that Commissioner Slaughter is coming down to the ring to make an announcement!
*Slaughter's music plays, and Slaughter comes out to the ring, a neck brace around his neck. He slides into the ring, scowling*
Slaughter: You know what?! I try to run a clean show here, but *some* people seem to feel the need to cause problems. Well, we're gonna nip that in the bud. D-X? Not *only* are you going to be fined and suspended for the rest of tonight, but next week? Next week you'll be having a match against the Guns, and my co-commissioner is going to be at ring side to ensure that there's no funny business.
Cole: Did you hear that, Jesse?! Slaughter means business!
Ventura: Not to mention, we finally get to figure out who this co-commissioner he keeps mentiong is!
Slaughter: Now, onto the *rest* of the issues with Run for Glory last night. Dolph Ziggler. You interfered in a title match. Now, I *could* suspend and fine you too. But for you? I've got a better idea. I think tonight, I'll put you in a match with the woman you screwed out of the title. So tonight, you fine audience members will get to see Dolph Ziggler vs. Awesome Kong. In a No-DQ match.
Ventura: That'll teach Mister Ziggles not to kick at people bigger than him!
Slaughter: Now as for our main event last night...
*Shane McMahon's entrance music plays at that moment. Slaughter looks at the entrance ramp, a bemused expression on his face as Shane, Seamus, and Horace come from the back. Horace and Seamus flank Shane on either side, and Shane has the Gimmick Title belt on his shoulder and a microphone in hand*
Shane: Hold up there, Commissioner. That was a no disqualification match! I didn't do anything illegal!
Slaughter: A bit twitchy, McMahon? I don't think I *said* you did anything illegal. What you did was low. What you did was cowardly. What you did was against the entire concept and symbol of a champion and the division you claim to be the best in. But....not illegal. So I can't actually do anything to you because of it.
*Shane smiles, holding up the title in triumph. Seamus and Horace clap for their boss*
Slaughter: Don't go celebrating yet, McMahon. Lynn is on the injured list right now, which means he can't invoke his re-match clause tonight. That leaves us without a main event. Now that *is* something I can do something about. I think we should showcase the kind of endurance and skill the Gimmick division contains. And how better to do so than a champ that takes on all comers? So we're going to have a gauntlet match. Everyone who'd like a shot at the Gimmick Division title after the Pay Per View this month will have until the main event to sign up to take part, and whoever wins will be *closely* looked at for the number one contender's spot. You'll fight one opponent at a time, and the first person to score a pinfall or submission on you will be declared the number two contender. *Shane, Seamus, and Horace all look royally pissed about that. Slaughter smiles* Oh yeah. And not only are Seamus and Horace not allowed to sign up, but they're barred from ringside. The Referee sees either of them at ringside, you'll be disqualified. Now get out of my sight, maggots!
*Shane, Seamus, and Horace are all still yelling at Slaughter, but when Slaughter simply stands there as if daring them to do something, they turn and head back to the back. Slaughter then himself leaves*
Cole: ...wow. I just...I don't have any words for that!
Ventura: Wrong is the word you're looking for, Cole! Irish McMahon just went through a street fight last night, and now he's being made to run a gauntlet of potentially everyone on contract with TCW! That's just flat out wrong!
Cole: I can't reallyc omment on that. But what I *can* comment on is the match we've got coming up next! Dolph Ziggler against Awesome Kong in a No DQ match!
*Kong's music plays, and Kong comes out, with Saeed at her side. Kong steps into the ring, and Saeed steps in as well, grabbing a microphone on her way*
Saeed: ZIGGLER! You will come out and take your punishment! YOU WILL COME OUT NOW!
*Ziggler's music plays, and Ziggler comes out, looking hesitant, chair in hand. He moves to the ring slowly, looking as if he might step in until Kong rushes the ropes. He hops back away from the apron, pointing at Kong with the chair and demanding the Ref get her away from there. The Ref admonishes Kong to let Ziggler get into the ring, and Kong steps back. Ziggler steps up the stairs, sliding into the ring, still holding onto the chair. And then, without waiting for the bell, he rushes Kong, swinging the chair at her. Kong weaves to the side, and as Ziggler turns to swing again, she slams her fist into the chair, shoving it back into Ziggler's face. Ziggler falls, and Kong promptly picks him up and attempts to set him up for an awesome bomb, but he scrambles out, and rolls out of the ring. He waves his hands dismissively, attempting to leave. Saeed steps in his way, and he tries to shove her away. She responds with a quick forearm to the face, and then grabs him by the shoulders and shoves him back into the ring. Kong once more grabs him up for a powerbomb, but once more he pulls away. He hits Kong with several quick kicks to the back of the knee, and then several chops to the chest before going to the rope. He tries a shoulder tackle, and Kong no-sells it. He hits the ropes again, but this time Kong meets him with a clothesline. Kong picks Ziggler up, and throws him to the corner before moving to the opposite corner. She slaps her butt several times, before charging Ziggler and turning, hitting a heavy back splash. She then steps away from the corner, readying herself to do it a second time. This time, however, Ziggler quickly snakes out onto the apron. Kong looks a bit stunned by the missed splash, but turns to deal with Ziggler. Ziggler hits her with a forearm, and then another one, before grabbing her head and jumping off the apron, yanking her down for a hangman. Kong stumbles back, grabbing at her throat as she gasps for breath. Ziggler quickly reaches under the ring, pulling out another steel chair and sliding into the ring with it. He stands to his feet, and as Kong stumbles close to him, he swings the chair into her head. She stumbles, but doesn't fall. Ziggler looks both peeved and scared, and promptly swings the chair again. Once more it smacks against Kong's head, but again Kong doesn't go down. Ziggler swallows noticably, and goes for a third chair swing. This time, however, Kong reaches out and grabs him around the throat, before chokeslamming him to the ground and falling herself. They're both down for a five count, but Ziggler gets to his feet first. He reaches for the chair, slamming the edge down on Kong's chest before laying it flat on her chest. He jumps, and drops an elbow, rolling away and selling that it hurt his own arm for a moment before rolling over her for a pin. 1-2, kickout. Ziggler picks the chair again, and moves to the corner with it. He shoves it between two turnbuckles, before moving to pick up Kong. Kong gets to her knees, and shoves Ziggler away. Ziggler stumbles back, but rushes back to Kong and peppers her with several forearms before trying to whip her tot eh corner. She blocks, pulling him back and hitting a heavy clothesline. She stomps on him once, before moving to grab the chair. She places the chair on his chest, hits the ropes, and then jumps into the air for a big splash! She hits it, goes for the pin. 1-2, Kong sits up, pulling Ziggler up. The Ref admonishes her, but Kong doesn't seem to care. She picks up Ziggler, sets him up for an implant buster, picks him up, and slams him down face first! She stands, staring at Ziggler for a moment, before picking him back up. She once again sets him up, only this time she picks him up onto her shoulders. She holds him there for a moment, stepping over to the chair...and then she drops him for an awesome bomb, right onto the chair! She holds him there, and the Ref counts. 1-2-3, victory for Kong!*
Cole: And Kong gets the victory after horrendously manhandeling Dolph Ziggler!
Ventura: Let's be fair, Cole. Ziggler did pretty good, all things told.
*The scene shifts into the back, showing Mister Perfect watching a TV monitor. Apparently he was watching the match very closely. He snorts as he sees Ziggler lose, and turns to walk away. As he does so, Edge and Christian pass him, playing their theme music on their kazoos*
Cole: Mister Perfect keeping a *very* close eye on the Ziggler Kong match.
Ventura: As well he should! He should be fearful for his title!
Cole: I thought you liked Perfect?
Ventura: I do, I just recognize the truth when I see it. I wonder why Edge and Christian were coming this way, though.
Cole: I'm sure we'll find out soon...
*As if on cue, Edge and Christian's theme music plays, and they come down from back. They stroll down the entrance ramp, playing kazoos, and grab a microphone before sliding into the ring*
Edge: First off, since you people *didn't* get this at Run for Glory last night....for the benefit of those with flash photography, here is your...Five second pose!
*Edge and Christian proceed to pose for the audience, to a rather less than stellar reaction. After five seconds, Edge begins talking again*
Edge: Now, we're down here for a very specific reason. Namely, the TCW tag team titles.
Christian: Yeah, I'm pretty sure we get a title shot.
Edge: Well, we *are* the number one contenders. And given that there's nothing *else* on this show worth watching tonight, we want our title shot now! So come on out, Beer Money!
*Beer Money's entrance music plays, and Beer Money step out of the back. Storm has apparently modified the tag belt to hold a six pack of beer bottles, and has it fully stocked save for the one beer he's drinking. Roode has a microphone in his hand.*
Roode: Bear with me for a minute here, you guys. At Run for Glory, you were going to have a match with D-Generation X. Right?
Edge: Yeah, and we totally reeked of awesome!
Storm: Reek of something...
Roode: That match never happened, though. You guys may be the number one contenders...but you didn't actually *beat* anyone for that. So, me and my partner, we've been talking. See..
Edge: Hey! We're the number one contenders! It's not that tough to figure out. I mean, maybe if your'e drunk...
Roode: Look, it's like this. Our contracts say that we only *have* to defend the titles once a month, and any other defenses are at our choice. So here's your options. You wait for a month, and you maybe get a title shot then, if the Guns or D-X don't come for that number one contender's spot...*Edge and Christian don't look particularly happy about that* Or! You fight us right here, right now, and *if* you beat us, we'll give you a shot next week.
Edge: Beat you two? Shyeah, like that's tough.
Storm: Considering you couldn't do it the first time around, I ain't sure how you think you're gonna pull it off this time.
*Storm and Roode drop the titles at the entrance ramp, and run down the ramp, sliding into the ring. Edge and Christian move to intercept, but Roode and Storm duck their punches and turn, hitting them with forearms until they fall back against the ropes. Roode and Storm then clothesline Edge and Christian over the top rope, before bending down and giving their patented BEER! MONEY!*
Ventura: I can't say this is a very good plan by Beer Money. They have *nothing* to gain, and *everything* to lose.
Cole: They want to be fighting champs, and they respect people who earn their victories, partner. It's not that surprising.
*The Ref orders one of Beer Money to the corner, and Storm moves behind the ropes. Edge and Christian play Rock Paper Scissors to choose who's going to get back in the ring, and Christian loses. Christian climbs back into the ring once the ref starts counting, and he and Roode stare at each other for a few moments before going for a lock up. Christian moves around into a waist lock, but Roode reverses into a hammerlock. Christian looks in pain, testing the hold for a moment and slapping at his shoulder to keep the blood flowing, before reversing it himself into another waistlock. This time, however, he promptly slams his forearm into Roodes back. He then begins working Roode over, keeping him in the corner and making frequent tags to Edge. Roode manages to mount some offense as Edge is picking him up at one point,s winging a few punches to Edge's gut. Ref admonishes to keep the hand open. Rude stands, hitting a European Uppercut, and then goes to the ropes. Edge knocks him down with a clothes line, and then tags to Christian. Christian comes in, grabs Roode's leg, and puts him in a single leg crab. Roode fights, and manages to reverse into a pin! 1-2, kickout. They're both up, and Christian tries to whip Roode to the ropes. Roode reverses, and then hits a AA style spinebuster! Storm is hopping up a storm, as is Edge, and...HOT TAGS! Storm comes in all spit fire, hitting a running clothesline on Edge. He follows it up with an elbow drop, before picking Edge up. Roode is up for a moment, and he runs to place himself. The hit the double suplex, and then once more yell out BEER! MONEY! Christian is up, and takes down Roode, the two of them rolling out of the ring. Edge is getting up, and Storm stalks him as he stands, and then goes for the Last Call! Edge ducks it, and it hits the Ref, who goes down. Storm looks freaked for a moment, and then turns, right into Edge setting him up for the Downward Spiral. Storm manages to push out, scrambling away. On the outside, Christian catches Roode in the Unprettier, and slams Roode's face down onto the mats. He then reaches under the ring and grabs a chair in each hand. Inside the ring, Storm has gotten into a slug fest with Edge. Christian rolls into the ring quickly, yells to Edge, and throws a chair. Storm is distracted by the yell, and he turns quickly to guard from an attack from behindl...but....CONCHAIRTO! They throw the chairs out of the ring, and Edge moves to pin Storm while Christian rouses the Ref. The Ref rouses just enough to count 1...2...3~! Victory Edge and Christian!*
Cole: Edge and Christian stole that win! They blatantly cheated!
Ventura: Maybe they did, but the books are going to go down as a win over the Tag Team Champions! There's no arguing with the result!
Cole: *Maybe* they did?! They *completely* did! But right now, we've got to go to Lauren, who's standing by with the Anarchist, Arik Cannon.
*Scene shifts. Lauren standing in the interview spot with Cannon*
Lauren: Arik Cannon, tonight you're facing Mister Kennedy. Now, he beat you last time...
Cannon: *Cuts her off* Lauren, I think we all saw that the man cheated. What a surprise, someone from Green Bay has to cheat to beat someone from Minnesota. Well, look...
*Shane McMahon, flanked by Horace and Seamus, storm in. Shane shoves a big wad of money into Cannon's chest*
Shane: Beat it, kid, I'm buying your interview time.
*Cannon looks at the money, shrugs, and walks off. Horace gives him a look, but Shane is talking now!*
Shane: A *gauntlet* match?! What kind of crap is that?! I am the TCW Gimmick Division Champion. I went through *hell* last night with Jerry Lynn, and now I'm gonna have to fight pretty much everyone in the promotion?
Lauren: Shane, I think...
Shane: *Shaking his head and waving his hand very close to in front of Lauren's face* No, I'll tell you what it is. It's that bullcrap socialism hippie stuff you hear about out here in Minneapolis. Redistribution of wealth. You're just trying to make yourself richer at the expense of beating down the right. And that stuff doesn't work.
Lauren: *Looking confused* ...What are you talking about?
Shane: It's basic trickle-down economics, Lauren. I'm the richest person here. I have aqquired the gimmick division championship. That puts me in a position to let the wealth trickle down tot he rest of you. Look, I've already created two jobs here. *He points to Seamus and Horace* But if you guys let Commissioner Slaughter try to put regulations and caps on my championship, those jobs go away. It's really simple. So I'm just saying, there's only so long I'm gonna put up with this crap before I take my title and my business to another country and just ship my title matches in from overseas. *He hands Lauren the microphone, and ehads off, followed by his cronies*
Lauren: Uh...right. We've got to go to commercial now...
(Commercial: Something silly that I might write later)
*Scene comes in on Cole and Jesse*
Cole: Well, right now we've got the match between Arik Cannon and Ken Kennedy.
*Kennedy's music plays, and Kennedy comes down from the back. He slides into the ring, and then poses to call down the microphone*
Kennedy: I hail from Green Bay Wisconsin! *Crowd boo!* I weigh in at a lean but solid two hunred and...
*Cannon's music begins playing, cutting Kennedy off. Cannon comes in from the back, microphone in hand*
Cannon: This crap again? Haven't you learned that nobody wants to hear it?
Kennedy: *Looks livid as he speaks* I already kicked your butt all over the place once, Cannon! I don't even know why this match is going on!
Cannon: Uh...'scuse me? No. *He slides into the ring, looking very pointedly at Kennedy* What you did was cheat. Big difference.
*Kennedy looks like he might respond, but instead takes a swing at Cannon. Cannon is ready for it, though! He ducks the punch, grabs Kennedy in a waist lock, and brings him over in a back suplex. He floats over, going for a pin, but Kennedy kicks out immediately. Kennedy is on his feet, and Cannon goes for a lock up. Kennedy instead hits Cannon with a hard kick to the midsection, and then hits him with a stiff punch. The Ref admonishes Kennedy, and Kennedy grabs Cannon and sends him to the ropes. Kennedy hits him with a shoulder tackle, and Cannon drops. Kennedy hits the ropes as Cannon starts to get up, and hits Cannon with another shoulder tackle. Kennedy goes to the ropes one more time, but Cannon stays to the ground, making Kennedy run over him to hit the other side. Cannon jumps up, and then jumps Kennedy, before turning and catching Kennedy in an arm drag the third tiem around. Kennedy is up immediately, and charges, and Cannon hits a second arm drag before standing to his feet and posing for the crowd. Kennedy gets up, and they face each other befor e going for another lock up. Kennedy grabs Cannon in an armwrench, and holds it for a moment before Cannon reverses it into a hammerlock. He holds it for a moment before Kennedy reverses it into his own hammerlock. Cannon reaches around, and manages to grab Kennedy in a headlock before flipping him over into a headlock takedown. Kennedy grabs Cannon into a head scissors, and Cannon kipups out. They're both on their feet, and Cannon goes for another lock up. Once again, Kennedy blocks with a kick to the mdisection. He follows up with a clubbing blow to the back, before setting Cannon up for a suplex. He hits it, and floats over for a pin. Kickout at one. Kennedy picks up Cannon, grabs him around the waist in a gutwrench, and suplexes him back. Another pin, another kickout at one. Kennedy picks up Cannon again, but Cannon fights back with several swings to the mid-section, to the admonishment of the Ref. Cannon then runs back, hitting the ropes, and hits Kennedy with a clothesline. He stops at the other end of the ring, stalking Kennedy, and as Kennedy gets up, Cannon hits him with a knee lift, sending him to the ground. Cannon then quickly hops up on the second rope, and moves for an elbow drop. Kennedy rolls out of the way, and when Cannon hits the mat, he goes for a pin. 1-2, kickout! Kennedy looks up, yelling at the Ref. The Ref insists he counted straight. Kennedy turns back to Cannon, putting him in a sleeper. It's held until Cannon begins looking out of it. The Ref picks up one of Cannon's hands, and it drops. One! He picks up Cannon's hand again, and it drops. Two! He picks up Cannon's hand again, but this time it doesn't drop! Cannon keeps it up, calling out to the crowd for support, and begins batteling up to his feet. He hits Kennedy with several elbows, before getting loose and setting up Kennedy for a T-Bone suplex! He hits it, and waits for Kennedy to get to his feet. As he begins getting up, Cannon runs in and hits his Glimmering Warlock. He picks up Kennedy, front face locks him, and picks him up for a suplex. He holds him, before dropping down, hitting a brainbuster! Pin, 1-2, kickout! Cannon looks surprised, but he gets up and picks up Kennedy. Kennedy moves quickly, and hits a samoan drop out of nowhere! Both down, and Ref begins counting. He gets to a six count before Kennedy is up. Cannon is still getting to his feet, and Kennedy grabs him in another gut wrench, hitting a powerbomb. He then climbs to the second rope, signaling to the crowd before jumping off and hitting a leg drop. Pin, 1,2, kickout! Kennedy scowls, getting to his feet and stomping on Cannon several times before going back to the corner. He climbs up to the second, looks down at Cannon, and then shakes his head. He then climbs up to the top rope, taking a moment to steady himself. And out of nowhere, Cannon springs! He springs up to his feet, running up the corner, and grabs Kennedy in a T-Bone suplex! He throws him down, and both wrestlers go down! Cannon makes a long crawl to cover, and pins Kennedy. 1, 2, kickout at the last second! Cannon growls, and then gets to his feet. He raises a hand, signaling for the Anarchists Hammer, before picking Kennedy up. He lifts Kennedy to his shoulders, and then drops him down on his head. Pin, 1,2,3 Victory for Cannon!*
Cole: That was nothing short of an impressive win!
Ventura: Impressive? He had a ahrd time beating the guy from Green Bay! How impressive can it be?!
Cole: I may not be as old as you, partner, but I've seen a few matches in my time. And that was an impressive victory. But for now, we have to go to commercial. When we come back, the Gauntlet match between Shane McMahon and...well, anyone who wants a shot! Coming up next!
(Commercial: More silly shit that I'll come up with later)
*Back from Commercial, the first shot is the entrance ramp. Shane McMahon's music plays, and out comes Shane, title on his shoulder, Horace and Seamus at his sides. He dances a bit, before heading down to the ring*
Cole: Shane isn't supposed to have Horace and Seamus with him! Those two have been banned from ringside!
Ventura: Nothing wrong with them walking out with him!
*The Ref admonishes Horace and Seamus to leave the ringside. They argue, but eventually they leave. Shane heads into the ring, hands someone outside the ring the title belt, and raises his arms to the audience*
Cole: So the first question is, who's going to be Shane McMahon's first opponent?!
Ventura: Doesn't matter. Irish O'Mac's gonna take care of them.
*MVP's music plays, and MPV comes out from the back. He poses for the crowd, and then heads into the ring*
Cole: Oh man, his first opponent is a semi-finalist in the single's division tournament! This won't be easy!
*Shane looks at MVP, who looks ready to fight. He then reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a wad of bills. He counts out a few, and then offers them to MVP. MVP looks at them, takes them, and counts them before shrugging and moving out of the ring. The Ref blinks, and then begins the ten count. MVP clearly doesn't care. Shane is busy posturing for the crowd*
Ventura: A brilliant plan by McMahon!
Cole: Well it *did* manage to knock down one opponent.
*Rhino's music plays, and Rhino comes in alongside Roxxi. Roxxi is posing for the crowd while Rhino roars, and then runs into the ring. Shane once again offers out money. Rhino takes it, looks at it, and then pie-faces Shane with the cash. Shane stumbles back, and Rhino moves forward, whipping Shane against the ropes. He moves in to hit Shane with a flying shoulder tackle, before picking him up and hitting a big belly to belly suplex, throwing Shane to the other side of the ring. Rhino then moves to the corner, and squats down, readying himself. As soon as Shane stands up, Rhino charges, trying to hit a Gore. Shane moves at the last moment, and Rhino hits the ringpost. Hard. Shane grabs him up in a school boy, and puts his feet on the ropes while the Ref counts a 1-2-3. Rhino's out. Roxxi yells and screams at the Ref, and Rhino looks ready to pulvarize Shane once he stands up, but the Ref orders them away from ringside*
Cole: A little cheating and quick thinking on Shane's part won him that round.
Ventura: Cheating? I didn't see any cheating. Maybe you need to adjust your contacts, Cole.
*Balls Mahoney's music begins playing, and Balls comes out with a chair! Shane yells at the Ref, and the Ref does tell Balls to drop the chair before coming into the ring. Balls seems hesitant for a moment, but then drops the chair and slides into the ring. Shane goes in to stomp on Balls as he comes in, keeping Balls on the ground. Shane steps back, and waits for Balls to be getting to his feet, before rushing in and punting him square in the head. Balls goes down, and Shane goes for the pin. 1-2-3, Balls out*
Cole: A *vicious* punt from McMahon takes Balls out of the match.
Ventura: I think we all saw that, Cole.
*Bob Holly's music plays, and Holly comes to the ring. He gets up on the apron, pointing at Shane and yelling at the ref to keep Shane back. He then slides in between the ropes. He and Shane go for a lockup, but Holly cuts it off with a kick to the middle. He then hits a clubbing blow to Shane's back,b efore grabbing Shane by the hair and slamming him back onto the mat. The ref admonishes Holly for the hair pull, but Holly goes down for a pin. 1, kickout. Holly picks up Shane, but Shane battles back, hitting a few forearms to the face. Shane hits the ropes, but Holly cuts him off with a clothesline. Holly then picks Shane back up, setting him up for a pile driver. He picks Shane up, but Shane kicks his feet and wiggles out, picking Holly up as soon as he has his footing. And...ALABAMA SLAMMA! Pin, 1-2-3, Holly's out!*
Ventura: A McMahon Slamma, that was!
Cole: How embaressing to be pinned by your own finishing move!
*Ken Shamrock's music plays, and Ken comes out, sans Hemme. He comes down to the ring, and Shane tries to rush him, but Shamrock smacks Shane in the face with a forearm before leaning down and hitting Shane in the mid-section with a shoulder tackle. As Shane stumbles back, Shamrock gets into the ring. He grabs Shane from behind, trying to take him down with an armbar take down, but Shane quickly scrambles tot he ropes, grabbing them and yelling at the Ref. The Ref steps over and pulls Shamrock off. They return to the middle of the ring, and Shamrock goes for a lockup. Shane ducks it, and goes around for a waist lock. Shamrock hits him with a few elbows to break it up, before turning around and grabbing shane in a front waist lock. He hits a belly to belly, and roars for the crowd. At which point Hemme runs out from the back. In a finish we've seen so many times before, Shamrock yells at Hemme to get back to the back, and turns, right into Shane. Shane grabs Shamrock in an armbar, before floating around for an ankle lock! Shamrock looks about to tap, when Hemme jumps up on the ring apron, distracting the Ref. Shane drops the hold, standing up to look at Hemme and the Ref as if annoyed, and then turns back to Shamrock. Shamrock si getting to his feet, but since the Ref is distracted by Hemme, Shane simply kicks Shamrock between the legs before rolling him up in a small package. The Ref turns just in time to see the pin, and counts 1-2-3, Shamrock out!*
Cole: A blatant low blow by McMahon!
Ventura: You gotta love how Shane's clearing out these guys! One after another, they all fall before the might of our Gimmick Champion!
Cole: What I want to know is, after breezing through most of the Gimmick Division, who's left that can take on Shane?
*Arik Cannon's music plays, and Cannon comes out of the back. He looks a little out of sorts, but determined*
Cole: ...What's Arik Cannon doing here?!
Ventura: Getting his butt whooped, that's what.
*Cannon steps into the ring, and Shane promptly tries to tackle him down. Cannon responds by taking Shane down with a reverse armbar, taking Shane to the mat. He holds it, trying to make Shane tap, and it's a long trip to the ropes before Shane finally grabs them. Cannon backs up, moving to the corner and resting as Shane gets to his feet. Once up, Cannon goes for a lockup, but Shane cuts him off with a fist to the face followed by a snap mare. Shane then kicks Cannon in the spine, and pushes him down for a pin. 1-2, kickout. Shane stands, and waits for Cannon to stand up, before hitting Cannon with a left. And another left! And a third left! And then Shane dances for a moment, winding up for a big right hand, but Cannon steps in with a burst of speed, and this a T-Bone suplex on Shane! They're both down for a five count, but as Shane gets up, he crawls towards the Ref. He grabs the Ref's belt in order to stand to his feet, and literally shoves the Ref towards Cannon. They hit, and the Ref goes down. Cannon stumbles for a few moments, when Shane runs up to grab Cannon. He shoves Cannon onto his shoulders, setting up for the Anarchist's Hammer, but...from the crowd runs Jerry Lynn! He slides into the ring, hits a kick to Shane's mid-section. Shane drops Cannon, and Lynn sets him up...and hits the Cradle Piledriver! Shane is down, and Lynn yells at Cannon to go for the pin. Cannon drops on Shane, and Lynn rouses the Referee, who drags himself over for a 1-2-3, Cannon wins it!*
Cole: From the crowd, it's Lynn! Jerry Lynn coming to get some payback for last night's street fight!
Ventura: Lynn is supposed to be on the injured list! What's he doing here?!
Cole: I don't know, partner, but we'll have to wait until next week for answers! Until next time, this is Michael Cole sitting next to Jesse 'The Body' Ventura. Thank you, and good night!
*Opening video has changed. This time, it shows the new champions, each performing their finishing moves, before showcasing some of the other talent. Opening pyro, pan the crowd, finally focus on Cole and Jesse*
Cole: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Twin Cities Wrestling Explosion! We're coming off of an absolutely *amazing* Run for Glory.
Ventura: Where the *rightful* champion finally won the Gimmick Division belt! The gold has come home, Cole!
Cole: Shane McMahon stole that victory, and you know it, Partner! He needed both Horace the Psychopath *and* Seamus to help him win that title!
Ventura: It was a no disqualification match. You call it stealing, I call it smart!
Cole: In any case, we start tonight off with some tag team action. The Motor City Machine Guns against the Rock and Rave Infection!
*R&R's entrance music begins playing, and they pose for the crowd at the top of the ramp before coming down to the ring, rocking hard on their plastic guitars. The Guns' entrance music plays, and the Guns come from the back, posing for the crowd before running to the ring. Sabin and Rock start things off, and the bell rings. They lock up, and Rock swings Sabin around and throws him into the corner. He closes in, hitting a few forearms before the Ref admonishes him to get Sabin out of the corner. Rock backs up, and Sabin tries to shake the cobwebs for a moment before they return to the center of the ring. Rock goes for another lockup, but Sabin ducks it and delivers two quick kicks to the back of the knee. He then grabs Rock, and drags him to the corner, where Shelly is already waiting with a boot out. He slams Rock's head into the boot, before tagging in to Shelly. Shelly hops to the rope, springboards off, and hits Rock with a flying clothesline before rolling up and posing for the crowd. He then moves over to tag Sabin back in, when D-X comes running in from the crowd. They slide into the ring, and jump the Guns, starting a brawl. The Ref calls for the bell, throwing the match out from the blatant interference*
Cole: What...What are D-X doing here?!
Ventura: Payback for the Guns costing them their shot at the number one contendership!
Cole: D-X did that themselves!
*The Guns try to mount an offense, but they're quickly beaten down. The beat down ends with Michaels hitting a Sweet Chin Music on Shelly, and HHH hitting a Pedigree on Sabin. D-X stands over the fallen Guns, deliver a crotch chop taunt, and then head to the back*
Cole: ...We're gonna take a quick commercial break while the EMT's check on the Guns! Stay tuned!
(Commercial: *Satan stands amidst factory lines, robots making a bunch of what looks like RisenChrist candies*
Satan: Yes! I have discovered the formula! Soon, my FallenLou candies will overrun the world!
*A puff of smoke appears next to Satan, and there's Jesus! Satan looks surprised, and Jesus uses the distraction to spinning kung fu kick Satan in the face. Satan flies back into the factory line, chocolate squares flying everywhere. Jesus moves to his fallen body, speaking sternly*
Jesus: Not even close, Satan! You may have mimiced the creamy chocolate coating, but what makes RisenChrist truly great is the crunchy, Christ filled center! And you can never copy that!
*Jingle: RisenChrist, RisenChrist...,then there's a close up on Satan*
Satan: *sounding pained*...Try the Lord today....
*Bell dings as Jesus smiles broadly for the camera*)
*Scene opens on Lauren, backstage with D-X*
Lauren: D-Generation X! You just blatantly attacked the Motor City Machine Guns! Commissioner Slaughter has been very strict about that sort of thing, and...
Michaels: *Rips the microphone from Lauren* Guns! You think you can try to show us up?! You think either Hunter or I are going to stand back and let you bounce around the ring, acting like you have any chance of making it in this business? You're nothing but a couple of young upstarts who...
*The Guns run in from the side, and attack D-X. Lauren gets the hell out of dodge. Security comes to break it up, the camera staying on the brawl for several minutes before security finally gets the two teams pulled apart. The scene shifts back to Cole and Ventura*
Cole: I don't think we've seen the last of this rivalry, Jesse.
Ventura: Of course we haven't. D-X hasn't finished beating up on the Guns!
Cole:...I've just received word that Commissioner Slaughter is coming down to the ring to make an announcement!
*Slaughter's music plays, and Slaughter comes out to the ring, a neck brace around his neck. He slides into the ring, scowling*
Slaughter: You know what?! I try to run a clean show here, but *some* people seem to feel the need to cause problems. Well, we're gonna nip that in the bud. D-X? Not *only* are you going to be fined and suspended for the rest of tonight, but next week? Next week you'll be having a match against the Guns, and my co-commissioner is going to be at ring side to ensure that there's no funny business.
Cole: Did you hear that, Jesse?! Slaughter means business!
Ventura: Not to mention, we finally get to figure out who this co-commissioner he keeps mentiong is!
Slaughter: Now, onto the *rest* of the issues with Run for Glory last night. Dolph Ziggler. You interfered in a title match. Now, I *could* suspend and fine you too. But for you? I've got a better idea. I think tonight, I'll put you in a match with the woman you screwed out of the title. So tonight, you fine audience members will get to see Dolph Ziggler vs. Awesome Kong. In a No-DQ match.
Ventura: That'll teach Mister Ziggles not to kick at people bigger than him!
Slaughter: Now as for our main event last night...
*Shane McMahon's entrance music plays at that moment. Slaughter looks at the entrance ramp, a bemused expression on his face as Shane, Seamus, and Horace come from the back. Horace and Seamus flank Shane on either side, and Shane has the Gimmick Title belt on his shoulder and a microphone in hand*
Shane: Hold up there, Commissioner. That was a no disqualification match! I didn't do anything illegal!
Slaughter: A bit twitchy, McMahon? I don't think I *said* you did anything illegal. What you did was low. What you did was cowardly. What you did was against the entire concept and symbol of a champion and the division you claim to be the best in. But....not illegal. So I can't actually do anything to you because of it.
*Shane smiles, holding up the title in triumph. Seamus and Horace clap for their boss*
Slaughter: Don't go celebrating yet, McMahon. Lynn is on the injured list right now, which means he can't invoke his re-match clause tonight. That leaves us without a main event. Now that *is* something I can do something about. I think we should showcase the kind of endurance and skill the Gimmick division contains. And how better to do so than a champ that takes on all comers? So we're going to have a gauntlet match. Everyone who'd like a shot at the Gimmick Division title after the Pay Per View this month will have until the main event to sign up to take part, and whoever wins will be *closely* looked at for the number one contender's spot. You'll fight one opponent at a time, and the first person to score a pinfall or submission on you will be declared the number two contender. *Shane, Seamus, and Horace all look royally pissed about that. Slaughter smiles* Oh yeah. And not only are Seamus and Horace not allowed to sign up, but they're barred from ringside. The Referee sees either of them at ringside, you'll be disqualified. Now get out of my sight, maggots!
*Shane, Seamus, and Horace are all still yelling at Slaughter, but when Slaughter simply stands there as if daring them to do something, they turn and head back to the back. Slaughter then himself leaves*
Cole: ...wow. I just...I don't have any words for that!
Ventura: Wrong is the word you're looking for, Cole! Irish McMahon just went through a street fight last night, and now he's being made to run a gauntlet of potentially everyone on contract with TCW! That's just flat out wrong!
Cole: I can't reallyc omment on that. But what I *can* comment on is the match we've got coming up next! Dolph Ziggler against Awesome Kong in a No DQ match!
*Kong's music plays, and Kong comes out, with Saeed at her side. Kong steps into the ring, and Saeed steps in as well, grabbing a microphone on her way*
Saeed: ZIGGLER! You will come out and take your punishment! YOU WILL COME OUT NOW!
*Ziggler's music plays, and Ziggler comes out, looking hesitant, chair in hand. He moves to the ring slowly, looking as if he might step in until Kong rushes the ropes. He hops back away from the apron, pointing at Kong with the chair and demanding the Ref get her away from there. The Ref admonishes Kong to let Ziggler get into the ring, and Kong steps back. Ziggler steps up the stairs, sliding into the ring, still holding onto the chair. And then, without waiting for the bell, he rushes Kong, swinging the chair at her. Kong weaves to the side, and as Ziggler turns to swing again, she slams her fist into the chair, shoving it back into Ziggler's face. Ziggler falls, and Kong promptly picks him up and attempts to set him up for an awesome bomb, but he scrambles out, and rolls out of the ring. He waves his hands dismissively, attempting to leave. Saeed steps in his way, and he tries to shove her away. She responds with a quick forearm to the face, and then grabs him by the shoulders and shoves him back into the ring. Kong once more grabs him up for a powerbomb, but once more he pulls away. He hits Kong with several quick kicks to the back of the knee, and then several chops to the chest before going to the rope. He tries a shoulder tackle, and Kong no-sells it. He hits the ropes again, but this time Kong meets him with a clothesline. Kong picks Ziggler up, and throws him to the corner before moving to the opposite corner. She slaps her butt several times, before charging Ziggler and turning, hitting a heavy back splash. She then steps away from the corner, readying herself to do it a second time. This time, however, Ziggler quickly snakes out onto the apron. Kong looks a bit stunned by the missed splash, but turns to deal with Ziggler. Ziggler hits her with a forearm, and then another one, before grabbing her head and jumping off the apron, yanking her down for a hangman. Kong stumbles back, grabbing at her throat as she gasps for breath. Ziggler quickly reaches under the ring, pulling out another steel chair and sliding into the ring with it. He stands to his feet, and as Kong stumbles close to him, he swings the chair into her head. She stumbles, but doesn't fall. Ziggler looks both peeved and scared, and promptly swings the chair again. Once more it smacks against Kong's head, but again Kong doesn't go down. Ziggler swallows noticably, and goes for a third chair swing. This time, however, Kong reaches out and grabs him around the throat, before chokeslamming him to the ground and falling herself. They're both down for a five count, but Ziggler gets to his feet first. He reaches for the chair, slamming the edge down on Kong's chest before laying it flat on her chest. He jumps, and drops an elbow, rolling away and selling that it hurt his own arm for a moment before rolling over her for a pin. 1-2, kickout. Ziggler picks the chair again, and moves to the corner with it. He shoves it between two turnbuckles, before moving to pick up Kong. Kong gets to her knees, and shoves Ziggler away. Ziggler stumbles back, but rushes back to Kong and peppers her with several forearms before trying to whip her tot eh corner. She blocks, pulling him back and hitting a heavy clothesline. She stomps on him once, before moving to grab the chair. She places the chair on his chest, hits the ropes, and then jumps into the air for a big splash! She hits it, goes for the pin. 1-2, Kong sits up, pulling Ziggler up. The Ref admonishes her, but Kong doesn't seem to care. She picks up Ziggler, sets him up for an implant buster, picks him up, and slams him down face first! She stands, staring at Ziggler for a moment, before picking him back up. She once again sets him up, only this time she picks him up onto her shoulders. She holds him there for a moment, stepping over to the chair...and then she drops him for an awesome bomb, right onto the chair! She holds him there, and the Ref counts. 1-2-3, victory for Kong!*
Cole: And Kong gets the victory after horrendously manhandeling Dolph Ziggler!
Ventura: Let's be fair, Cole. Ziggler did pretty good, all things told.
*The scene shifts into the back, showing Mister Perfect watching a TV monitor. Apparently he was watching the match very closely. He snorts as he sees Ziggler lose, and turns to walk away. As he does so, Edge and Christian pass him, playing their theme music on their kazoos*
Cole: Mister Perfect keeping a *very* close eye on the Ziggler Kong match.
Ventura: As well he should! He should be fearful for his title!
Cole: I thought you liked Perfect?
Ventura: I do, I just recognize the truth when I see it. I wonder why Edge and Christian were coming this way, though.
Cole: I'm sure we'll find out soon...
*As if on cue, Edge and Christian's theme music plays, and they come down from back. They stroll down the entrance ramp, playing kazoos, and grab a microphone before sliding into the ring*
Edge: First off, since you people *didn't* get this at Run for Glory last night....for the benefit of those with flash photography, here is your...Five second pose!
*Edge and Christian proceed to pose for the audience, to a rather less than stellar reaction. After five seconds, Edge begins talking again*
Edge: Now, we're down here for a very specific reason. Namely, the TCW tag team titles.
Christian: Yeah, I'm pretty sure we get a title shot.
Edge: Well, we *are* the number one contenders. And given that there's nothing *else* on this show worth watching tonight, we want our title shot now! So come on out, Beer Money!
*Beer Money's entrance music plays, and Beer Money step out of the back. Storm has apparently modified the tag belt to hold a six pack of beer bottles, and has it fully stocked save for the one beer he's drinking. Roode has a microphone in his hand.*
Roode: Bear with me for a minute here, you guys. At Run for Glory, you were going to have a match with D-Generation X. Right?
Edge: Yeah, and we totally reeked of awesome!
Storm: Reek of something...
Roode: That match never happened, though. You guys may be the number one contenders...but you didn't actually *beat* anyone for that. So, me and my partner, we've been talking. See..
Edge: Hey! We're the number one contenders! It's not that tough to figure out. I mean, maybe if your'e drunk...
Roode: Look, it's like this. Our contracts say that we only *have* to defend the titles once a month, and any other defenses are at our choice. So here's your options. You wait for a month, and you maybe get a title shot then, if the Guns or D-X don't come for that number one contender's spot...*Edge and Christian don't look particularly happy about that* Or! You fight us right here, right now, and *if* you beat us, we'll give you a shot next week.
Edge: Beat you two? Shyeah, like that's tough.
Storm: Considering you couldn't do it the first time around, I ain't sure how you think you're gonna pull it off this time.
*Storm and Roode drop the titles at the entrance ramp, and run down the ramp, sliding into the ring. Edge and Christian move to intercept, but Roode and Storm duck their punches and turn, hitting them with forearms until they fall back against the ropes. Roode and Storm then clothesline Edge and Christian over the top rope, before bending down and giving their patented BEER! MONEY!*
Ventura: I can't say this is a very good plan by Beer Money. They have *nothing* to gain, and *everything* to lose.
Cole: They want to be fighting champs, and they respect people who earn their victories, partner. It's not that surprising.
*The Ref orders one of Beer Money to the corner, and Storm moves behind the ropes. Edge and Christian play Rock Paper Scissors to choose who's going to get back in the ring, and Christian loses. Christian climbs back into the ring once the ref starts counting, and he and Roode stare at each other for a few moments before going for a lock up. Christian moves around into a waist lock, but Roode reverses into a hammerlock. Christian looks in pain, testing the hold for a moment and slapping at his shoulder to keep the blood flowing, before reversing it himself into another waistlock. This time, however, he promptly slams his forearm into Roodes back. He then begins working Roode over, keeping him in the corner and making frequent tags to Edge. Roode manages to mount some offense as Edge is picking him up at one point,s winging a few punches to Edge's gut. Ref admonishes to keep the hand open. Rude stands, hitting a European Uppercut, and then goes to the ropes. Edge knocks him down with a clothes line, and then tags to Christian. Christian comes in, grabs Roode's leg, and puts him in a single leg crab. Roode fights, and manages to reverse into a pin! 1-2, kickout. They're both up, and Christian tries to whip Roode to the ropes. Roode reverses, and then hits a AA style spinebuster! Storm is hopping up a storm, as is Edge, and...HOT TAGS! Storm comes in all spit fire, hitting a running clothesline on Edge. He follows it up with an elbow drop, before picking Edge up. Roode is up for a moment, and he runs to place himself. The hit the double suplex, and then once more yell out BEER! MONEY! Christian is up, and takes down Roode, the two of them rolling out of the ring. Edge is getting up, and Storm stalks him as he stands, and then goes for the Last Call! Edge ducks it, and it hits the Ref, who goes down. Storm looks freaked for a moment, and then turns, right into Edge setting him up for the Downward Spiral. Storm manages to push out, scrambling away. On the outside, Christian catches Roode in the Unprettier, and slams Roode's face down onto the mats. He then reaches under the ring and grabs a chair in each hand. Inside the ring, Storm has gotten into a slug fest with Edge. Christian rolls into the ring quickly, yells to Edge, and throws a chair. Storm is distracted by the yell, and he turns quickly to guard from an attack from behindl...but....CONCHAIRTO! They throw the chairs out of the ring, and Edge moves to pin Storm while Christian rouses the Ref. The Ref rouses just enough to count 1...2...3~! Victory Edge and Christian!*
Cole: Edge and Christian stole that win! They blatantly cheated!
Ventura: Maybe they did, but the books are going to go down as a win over the Tag Team Champions! There's no arguing with the result!
Cole: *Maybe* they did?! They *completely* did! But right now, we've got to go to Lauren, who's standing by with the Anarchist, Arik Cannon.
*Scene shifts. Lauren standing in the interview spot with Cannon*
Lauren: Arik Cannon, tonight you're facing Mister Kennedy. Now, he beat you last time...
Cannon: *Cuts her off* Lauren, I think we all saw that the man cheated. What a surprise, someone from Green Bay has to cheat to beat someone from Minnesota. Well, look...
*Shane McMahon, flanked by Horace and Seamus, storm in. Shane shoves a big wad of money into Cannon's chest*
Shane: Beat it, kid, I'm buying your interview time.
*Cannon looks at the money, shrugs, and walks off. Horace gives him a look, but Shane is talking now!*
Shane: A *gauntlet* match?! What kind of crap is that?! I am the TCW Gimmick Division Champion. I went through *hell* last night with Jerry Lynn, and now I'm gonna have to fight pretty much everyone in the promotion?
Lauren: Shane, I think...
Shane: *Shaking his head and waving his hand very close to in front of Lauren's face* No, I'll tell you what it is. It's that bullcrap socialism hippie stuff you hear about out here in Minneapolis. Redistribution of wealth. You're just trying to make yourself richer at the expense of beating down the right. And that stuff doesn't work.
Lauren: *Looking confused* ...What are you talking about?
Shane: It's basic trickle-down economics, Lauren. I'm the richest person here. I have aqquired the gimmick division championship. That puts me in a position to let the wealth trickle down tot he rest of you. Look, I've already created two jobs here. *He points to Seamus and Horace* But if you guys let Commissioner Slaughter try to put regulations and caps on my championship, those jobs go away. It's really simple. So I'm just saying, there's only so long I'm gonna put up with this crap before I take my title and my business to another country and just ship my title matches in from overseas. *He hands Lauren the microphone, and ehads off, followed by his cronies*
Lauren: Uh...right. We've got to go to commercial now...
(Commercial: Something silly that I might write later)
*Scene comes in on Cole and Jesse*
Cole: Well, right now we've got the match between Arik Cannon and Ken Kennedy.
*Kennedy's music plays, and Kennedy comes down from the back. He slides into the ring, and then poses to call down the microphone*
Kennedy: I hail from Green Bay Wisconsin! *Crowd boo!* I weigh in at a lean but solid two hunred and...
*Cannon's music begins playing, cutting Kennedy off. Cannon comes in from the back, microphone in hand*
Cannon: This crap again? Haven't you learned that nobody wants to hear it?
Kennedy: *Looks livid as he speaks* I already kicked your butt all over the place once, Cannon! I don't even know why this match is going on!
Cannon: Uh...'scuse me? No. *He slides into the ring, looking very pointedly at Kennedy* What you did was cheat. Big difference.
*Kennedy looks like he might respond, but instead takes a swing at Cannon. Cannon is ready for it, though! He ducks the punch, grabs Kennedy in a waist lock, and brings him over in a back suplex. He floats over, going for a pin, but Kennedy kicks out immediately. Kennedy is on his feet, and Cannon goes for a lock up. Kennedy instead hits Cannon with a hard kick to the midsection, and then hits him with a stiff punch. The Ref admonishes Kennedy, and Kennedy grabs Cannon and sends him to the ropes. Kennedy hits him with a shoulder tackle, and Cannon drops. Kennedy hits the ropes as Cannon starts to get up, and hits Cannon with another shoulder tackle. Kennedy goes to the ropes one more time, but Cannon stays to the ground, making Kennedy run over him to hit the other side. Cannon jumps up, and then jumps Kennedy, before turning and catching Kennedy in an arm drag the third tiem around. Kennedy is up immediately, and charges, and Cannon hits a second arm drag before standing to his feet and posing for the crowd. Kennedy gets up, and they face each other befor e going for another lock up. Kennedy grabs Cannon in an armwrench, and holds it for a moment before Cannon reverses it into a hammerlock. He holds it for a moment before Kennedy reverses it into his own hammerlock. Cannon reaches around, and manages to grab Kennedy in a headlock before flipping him over into a headlock takedown. Kennedy grabs Cannon into a head scissors, and Cannon kipups out. They're both on their feet, and Cannon goes for another lock up. Once again, Kennedy blocks with a kick to the mdisection. He follows up with a clubbing blow to the back, before setting Cannon up for a suplex. He hits it, and floats over for a pin. Kickout at one. Kennedy picks up Cannon, grabs him around the waist in a gutwrench, and suplexes him back. Another pin, another kickout at one. Kennedy picks up Cannon again, but Cannon fights back with several swings to the mid-section, to the admonishment of the Ref. Cannon then runs back, hitting the ropes, and hits Kennedy with a clothesline. He stops at the other end of the ring, stalking Kennedy, and as Kennedy gets up, Cannon hits him with a knee lift, sending him to the ground. Cannon then quickly hops up on the second rope, and moves for an elbow drop. Kennedy rolls out of the way, and when Cannon hits the mat, he goes for a pin. 1-2, kickout! Kennedy looks up, yelling at the Ref. The Ref insists he counted straight. Kennedy turns back to Cannon, putting him in a sleeper. It's held until Cannon begins looking out of it. The Ref picks up one of Cannon's hands, and it drops. One! He picks up Cannon's hand again, and it drops. Two! He picks up Cannon's hand again, but this time it doesn't drop! Cannon keeps it up, calling out to the crowd for support, and begins batteling up to his feet. He hits Kennedy with several elbows, before getting loose and setting up Kennedy for a T-Bone suplex! He hits it, and waits for Kennedy to get to his feet. As he begins getting up, Cannon runs in and hits his Glimmering Warlock. He picks up Kennedy, front face locks him, and picks him up for a suplex. He holds him, before dropping down, hitting a brainbuster! Pin, 1-2, kickout! Cannon looks surprised, but he gets up and picks up Kennedy. Kennedy moves quickly, and hits a samoan drop out of nowhere! Both down, and Ref begins counting. He gets to a six count before Kennedy is up. Cannon is still getting to his feet, and Kennedy grabs him in another gut wrench, hitting a powerbomb. He then climbs to the second rope, signaling to the crowd before jumping off and hitting a leg drop. Pin, 1,2, kickout! Kennedy scowls, getting to his feet and stomping on Cannon several times before going back to the corner. He climbs up to the second, looks down at Cannon, and then shakes his head. He then climbs up to the top rope, taking a moment to steady himself. And out of nowhere, Cannon springs! He springs up to his feet, running up the corner, and grabs Kennedy in a T-Bone suplex! He throws him down, and both wrestlers go down! Cannon makes a long crawl to cover, and pins Kennedy. 1, 2, kickout at the last second! Cannon growls, and then gets to his feet. He raises a hand, signaling for the Anarchists Hammer, before picking Kennedy up. He lifts Kennedy to his shoulders, and then drops him down on his head. Pin, 1,2,3 Victory for Cannon!*
Cole: That was nothing short of an impressive win!
Ventura: Impressive? He had a ahrd time beating the guy from Green Bay! How impressive can it be?!
Cole: I may not be as old as you, partner, but I've seen a few matches in my time. And that was an impressive victory. But for now, we have to go to commercial. When we come back, the Gauntlet match between Shane McMahon and...well, anyone who wants a shot! Coming up next!
(Commercial: More silly shit that I'll come up with later)
*Back from Commercial, the first shot is the entrance ramp. Shane McMahon's music plays, and out comes Shane, title on his shoulder, Horace and Seamus at his sides. He dances a bit, before heading down to the ring*
Cole: Shane isn't supposed to have Horace and Seamus with him! Those two have been banned from ringside!
Ventura: Nothing wrong with them walking out with him!
*The Ref admonishes Horace and Seamus to leave the ringside. They argue, but eventually they leave. Shane heads into the ring, hands someone outside the ring the title belt, and raises his arms to the audience*
Cole: So the first question is, who's going to be Shane McMahon's first opponent?!
Ventura: Doesn't matter. Irish O'Mac's gonna take care of them.
*MVP's music plays, and MPV comes out from the back. He poses for the crowd, and then heads into the ring*
Cole: Oh man, his first opponent is a semi-finalist in the single's division tournament! This won't be easy!
*Shane looks at MVP, who looks ready to fight. He then reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a wad of bills. He counts out a few, and then offers them to MVP. MVP looks at them, takes them, and counts them before shrugging and moving out of the ring. The Ref blinks, and then begins the ten count. MVP clearly doesn't care. Shane is busy posturing for the crowd*
Ventura: A brilliant plan by McMahon!
Cole: Well it *did* manage to knock down one opponent.
*Rhino's music plays, and Rhino comes in alongside Roxxi. Roxxi is posing for the crowd while Rhino roars, and then runs into the ring. Shane once again offers out money. Rhino takes it, looks at it, and then pie-faces Shane with the cash. Shane stumbles back, and Rhino moves forward, whipping Shane against the ropes. He moves in to hit Shane with a flying shoulder tackle, before picking him up and hitting a big belly to belly suplex, throwing Shane to the other side of the ring. Rhino then moves to the corner, and squats down, readying himself. As soon as Shane stands up, Rhino charges, trying to hit a Gore. Shane moves at the last moment, and Rhino hits the ringpost. Hard. Shane grabs him up in a school boy, and puts his feet on the ropes while the Ref counts a 1-2-3. Rhino's out. Roxxi yells and screams at the Ref, and Rhino looks ready to pulvarize Shane once he stands up, but the Ref orders them away from ringside*
Cole: A little cheating and quick thinking on Shane's part won him that round.
Ventura: Cheating? I didn't see any cheating. Maybe you need to adjust your contacts, Cole.
*Balls Mahoney's music begins playing, and Balls comes out with a chair! Shane yells at the Ref, and the Ref does tell Balls to drop the chair before coming into the ring. Balls seems hesitant for a moment, but then drops the chair and slides into the ring. Shane goes in to stomp on Balls as he comes in, keeping Balls on the ground. Shane steps back, and waits for Balls to be getting to his feet, before rushing in and punting him square in the head. Balls goes down, and Shane goes for the pin. 1-2-3, Balls out*
Cole: A *vicious* punt from McMahon takes Balls out of the match.
Ventura: I think we all saw that, Cole.
*Bob Holly's music plays, and Holly comes to the ring. He gets up on the apron, pointing at Shane and yelling at the ref to keep Shane back. He then slides in between the ropes. He and Shane go for a lockup, but Holly cuts it off with a kick to the middle. He then hits a clubbing blow to Shane's back,b efore grabbing Shane by the hair and slamming him back onto the mat. The ref admonishes Holly for the hair pull, but Holly goes down for a pin. 1, kickout. Holly picks up Shane, but Shane battles back, hitting a few forearms to the face. Shane hits the ropes, but Holly cuts him off with a clothesline. Holly then picks Shane back up, setting him up for a pile driver. He picks Shane up, but Shane kicks his feet and wiggles out, picking Holly up as soon as he has his footing. And...ALABAMA SLAMMA! Pin, 1-2-3, Holly's out!*
Ventura: A McMahon Slamma, that was!
Cole: How embaressing to be pinned by your own finishing move!
*Ken Shamrock's music plays, and Ken comes out, sans Hemme. He comes down to the ring, and Shane tries to rush him, but Shamrock smacks Shane in the face with a forearm before leaning down and hitting Shane in the mid-section with a shoulder tackle. As Shane stumbles back, Shamrock gets into the ring. He grabs Shane from behind, trying to take him down with an armbar take down, but Shane quickly scrambles tot he ropes, grabbing them and yelling at the Ref. The Ref steps over and pulls Shamrock off. They return to the middle of the ring, and Shamrock goes for a lockup. Shane ducks it, and goes around for a waist lock. Shamrock hits him with a few elbows to break it up, before turning around and grabbing shane in a front waist lock. He hits a belly to belly, and roars for the crowd. At which point Hemme runs out from the back. In a finish we've seen so many times before, Shamrock yells at Hemme to get back to the back, and turns, right into Shane. Shane grabs Shamrock in an armbar, before floating around for an ankle lock! Shamrock looks about to tap, when Hemme jumps up on the ring apron, distracting the Ref. Shane drops the hold, standing up to look at Hemme and the Ref as if annoyed, and then turns back to Shamrock. Shamrock si getting to his feet, but since the Ref is distracted by Hemme, Shane simply kicks Shamrock between the legs before rolling him up in a small package. The Ref turns just in time to see the pin, and counts 1-2-3, Shamrock out!*
Cole: A blatant low blow by McMahon!
Ventura: You gotta love how Shane's clearing out these guys! One after another, they all fall before the might of our Gimmick Champion!
Cole: What I want to know is, after breezing through most of the Gimmick Division, who's left that can take on Shane?
*Arik Cannon's music plays, and Cannon comes out of the back. He looks a little out of sorts, but determined*
Cole: ...What's Arik Cannon doing here?!
Ventura: Getting his butt whooped, that's what.
*Cannon steps into the ring, and Shane promptly tries to tackle him down. Cannon responds by taking Shane down with a reverse armbar, taking Shane to the mat. He holds it, trying to make Shane tap, and it's a long trip to the ropes before Shane finally grabs them. Cannon backs up, moving to the corner and resting as Shane gets to his feet. Once up, Cannon goes for a lockup, but Shane cuts him off with a fist to the face followed by a snap mare. Shane then kicks Cannon in the spine, and pushes him down for a pin. 1-2, kickout. Shane stands, and waits for Cannon to stand up, before hitting Cannon with a left. And another left! And a third left! And then Shane dances for a moment, winding up for a big right hand, but Cannon steps in with a burst of speed, and this a T-Bone suplex on Shane! They're both down for a five count, but as Shane gets up, he crawls towards the Ref. He grabs the Ref's belt in order to stand to his feet, and literally shoves the Ref towards Cannon. They hit, and the Ref goes down. Cannon stumbles for a few moments, when Shane runs up to grab Cannon. He shoves Cannon onto his shoulders, setting up for the Anarchist's Hammer, but...from the crowd runs Jerry Lynn! He slides into the ring, hits a kick to Shane's mid-section. Shane drops Cannon, and Lynn sets him up...and hits the Cradle Piledriver! Shane is down, and Lynn yells at Cannon to go for the pin. Cannon drops on Shane, and Lynn rouses the Referee, who drags himself over for a 1-2-3, Cannon wins it!*
Cole: From the crowd, it's Lynn! Jerry Lynn coming to get some payback for last night's street fight!
Ventura: Lynn is supposed to be on the injured list! What's he doing here?!
Cole: I don't know, partner, but we'll have to wait until next week for answers! Until next time, this is Michael Cole sitting next to Jesse 'The Body' Ventura. Thank you, and good night!