TCW Explosion, episode 4
Guys, you gotta remind me when it's Teusday! Otherwise I forget!
Once again, from the city of Minneapolis! This! Is! TWIN CITIES WRESTLING! *Entrance video showcasing the different wrestlers, into pyro and panning the crowd. Camera finally ends on Cole and Ventura, with Cole once again in a nice suit and Ventura in a sports jacket and a frilly pink boa*
Cole: Welcome once again ladies and gentlemen to TCW Explosion! I'm Michael Cole, and here is my broadcast partner Jesse 'The Body' Ventura! *Crowd pop when Ventura is pointed out*
Ventura: Ah, my fans! Hold up a moment, Cole. I've gotta give them what they came for! *Ventura stands up on the broadcast table, flexing and posing for a few moments before he sits back down* There, that's better.
Cole: A flamboyant start to the last Explosion before Run for Glory! We've got...
*Jerry Lynn's entrance music begins playing, and Lynn comes down to the ring, belt on his shoulder. He gets into the ring, standing on the second turnbuckle and holding the belt up for a crowd pop, before moving for the microphone*
Cole: And I think Jerry Lynn has something to say!
Ventura: That loser should just shut his mouth and hand that belt over to the *Real* Champion, Shane McMahon!
Lynn: McMAHON! That really how you want to play it, McMahon?! You think having Horace the Pyschopath come out and powerbomb me into thumbtacks is gonna stop me from kicking every single inch of your ass this Sunday at Run for Glory?! Oh, trust me, it won't! And as for you, Horace? What, didn't I kick your ass enough in all the states and territories we wrestled in? You suddenly forget all the times I've kicked your ass right here, in Minneapolis?! *Crowd pop* Well, fine! I'll just have to kick your ass again!
*Slaughter's music begins playing, and the Commissioner comes out to a pretty good reaction*
Slaughter: Didn't you learn your lesson last week, maggot?! Attacking people backstage results in heavy fines around here!
Lynn: *He doesn't look happy, adjusting his belt on his shoulder* Alright, fine! In that case, I want Horace in a match tonight!
Slaughter: *He seems to ponder this for a moment* Alright...and if I let this match happen, what stipulation are you offering? Keep in mind, you've got a Street Fight with McMahon this Sunday for the title.
Lynn: *He thinks for a moment, licking his lips, before answering* Screw it. I want a no-DQ match! And I just *hope* McMahon gets involved!
Slaughter: You want it, Lynn? You got it.
Cole: Oh man! A no-DQ match between Lynn and Horace the Psychopath right here, tonight!
Ventura: And you can bet Horace is gonna have Shane-O Mac with him tonight, too! What the hell is Lynn thinking?! Rightful champion or not, you don't go into a no-DQ match with a guy like Horace when you have less than a week before a title defense!
Cole: Lynn is thinking about revenge, plain and simple! But for now, let's go to the back with Lauren, who's got Dolph Ziggler for a few questions.
*Scene shifts, Lauren stands with Ziggler*
Lauren: Dolph Ziggler, last week you heinously attacked Mr. Perfect after his main event match with Johnny Saint. Do you have an explination for all the fans here?
Ziggler: *Grabs the mike violently* Ok, you know what? First off, screw the fans! *Crowd boos* What've they done for me, ever?! Nothing, that's what! Now, as for what I did last week? Curt Hennig comes out here, calls himself Mister Perfect, and thinks he'll get away with it? Hennig, you may think you're perfect, but the truth is, I. Am. Perfection! And...
*Awesome Kong and Raesha Saeed come from the side, and Saeed rips the microphone away from Ziggler*
Saeed: SILENCE! You run your mouth back here about perfection, but have you ever felt the full wrath of Kong?! You! Are! NOTHING!
*Ziggler and Kong stare each other down, before Ziggler backs off and walks away. Lauren speaks into the microphone, which is being held by Saeed*
Lauren: Uh...back to you, Michael and Jesse...
*Scene shfits back to Cole and Jesse*
Cole: Man, you could cut that tension with a knife!
Jesse: Still cant' say I approve of women in the ring with men, but I can't say it wouldn't make me laugh to watch Kong implant buster Mister Ziggles a few times!
Cole: In any case, we've got a Falls Count Anywhere matchup between Balls Mahoney and Arik Cannon coming up!
*Mahoney's entrance music plays, and Mahoney comes out, showboating for the crowd. He slides into the ring, and then back out, ehading to the broadcast table and grabbing up a headset for a moment*
Mahoney: The hell good's a Falls Count Anywhere match if you can't hit someone with a chair?! *Cole and Jesse shake their heads as Balls heads back to the ring*
*Cannon's music plays, and he comes out a ball of energy, slapping hands as he heads down the ramp. Mahoney slides out of the ring, charging Cannon with a couple of punches. Cannon tries to mount an offense, but Balls is relentless. He punches Cannon towards the guard railing, and Cannon falls back against it. Mahoney hiptosses Cannon from the railing onto the floor, and goes for the pin. 1-2, kickout. Balls picks up Cannon, and Cannon tries to mount an offense. He delivers a few punches to the midsection, but Balls cuts him off with a knee to the gut. Balls works him over with a few more punches, before whipping Cannon into the guard railing and then clotheslining him over. Balls raises his arms, showboating to the crowd, before climbing over the railing. He's met by Cannon, who grabs him and hits a t-bone suplex. Balls lands near the stairs leading up to the higher seats, and they're both down for a efw moments. Cannon is to his feet first, and moves towards Balls, but Balls drop toe hold's him into the stairs. Cannon's face hits the stairs, and his nose starts bleeding. That just encourages Balls to straddle Cannon and slam his head down into the stairs. The Ref tries to pull Balls off, eventually resorting to a 5-count. Balls is off at 4*
Cole: Good on the Ref for pulling Balls off of Cannon! This isn't a No DQ match, after all!
Ventura: I don't blame Balls for trying to take as much leeway as possible, though. And if Cannon wants to take part in a Gimmick Division match, then he's gotta be ready to fight those guys on their terms!
*Balls showboats for a moment, before going back to pick Cannon up. Cannon fights back with a hard blow to the mid-section, and follows up with two more, which stun Balls. Cannon gets up with a European Uppercut, and then hits with a hard clothesline. Balls goes to the floor, and Cannon wastes no time. He picks Balls up, slams his head against the guard railing, and then throws him over. Balls goes tumbeling to the floor, and Cannon proceeds to climb atop a nearby empty chair. Waiting. When Balls gets up, Cannon jumps off the chair, shoulder tackling Balls back to the ground. Cannon for the pin. 1-2, kickout. Cannon picks up Balls, and moves for a suplex. Balls blocks, and reverses for his own suplex, before floating over into a pin. 1-2, kickout. Balls picks up Cannon, and rolls him into the ring before beginning to climb up to the top turnbuckle. Balls jumps off, but Cannon is up in a burst of energy, and dropkicks Balls in the midsection. Balls down, Cannon pins, 1-2, kickout. Cannon lays in wait, and when Balls gets to his feet, Cannon grabs him up onto his shoulder, and hits the burning hammer. Cover, 1-2-3, Victory to Cannon!*
Cole: Oh my word, Cannon just hit the burning hammer on a three hundred pound man!
Ventura: I have to admit, that's *scary* strong. Balls Mahoney is no small man!
Cole: Indeed he's not! An impressive victory for The Anarchist, Arik Cannon. We've gotta take a commercial break, folks, but when we get back, we've got the next match in the Singles Tournament semi-finals, between MVP and Mr. Perfect, the last match of the Tag Tournament semi-finals between Beer Money and Edge and Christian, Dolph Ziggler against Awesome Kong, and our main event, Jerry Lynn against Horace the Psychopath in a No DQ match!
(Commercial: *Woman walking down the street, and she gets distracted by doughnuts in a bakery window. A puff of smoke appears next to her, and there's Satan, who is the Devil*
Satan: Ooooh. Doughnuts! Wouldn't *those* be tasty?
Woman: I dunno...they're not very good for you...
Satan: Oh, what's there to worry about? Surely you can have just *one*...
Woman: Well...maybe...
*Jesus appears suddenly*
Jesus: I'm not going to let you seduce this innocent soul, Satan!
*Jesus spinning kung fu kicks Satan in the face. Satan flies off screen, and Jesus turns to the woman, opening his hand and offering her a square of RisenChrist*
Jesus: RisenChrist is the only candy that cares about your eternal soul! A creamy milk chocolate covers a crunchy, Christ filled center. Much better than those doughnuts!
Woman: *Takes the candy and pops it into her mouth, smiling brightly*
Jingle: RisenChrist, it's RisenChrist! Try the Lord today! *Jesus smiles for the camera as a bell dings*)
*Back to the announce team*
Ventura: Come on, Cole, that one had Jesus martial arts kicking Satan in the face! That's not strange to you?
Cole: They're just commercials, partner. Anyway, let's go to back with Lauren, who has with her Edge and Christian!
*Scene shifts to the back. Edge and Christian are wearing giant vikings helmets*
Lauren: I'm here with Edge and Christian, who...*Christian rips the microphone from her*
Christian: Please. Like we need you to announce us!
Edge: That's right. We totally reek of awesomeness, and I think the audience can tell that from here.
Christian: Anyway, tonight, in the semi-finals of the tag team tournament, we're facing...uh...who're we facing again?
Edge: Vodka Quarters?
Christian: Isn't that some kind of a bar game?
Edge: Like I ever go to bars. All they have around here are gay bars and sports bars anyway.
Christian: Yeah, but we look *totally* awesome in these vikings helmets!
Edge: Yeah, too bad the Vikings football team can't seem to pull a victory!
Christian: Anyway, come on, man. We've gotta go out and win a match!
Edge: Wait, wait! We need one more thing!
Christian and Edge together: *pause for a moment, before proclaiming excitedly* THEME SONG!
*Edge and Christian pull out kazoo's, and begin playing music on them as they head off. Lauren has a 'I don't get paid enough for this' look on her face, and the scene shifts back to Cole and Jesse*
Cole: Edge and Christian, just as flamboyant as always.
Ventura: Gotta admire good flamboyance, Cole!
*Edge and Christian's music begins playing, and E&C step out of the back, still humming on their kazoos. They head out to the ring, and Edge grabs a microphone*
Edge: And now, for the benefit of those with flash photography! Here is your...
*Beer Money's music begins playing, and Rood and Storm come from the back. Storm is on his beer scooter, Rood simply walking. E&C look pissed*
Edge: What are you doing?! We're about to give our five second pose!
Storm: *Gets off the scooter, and grabs a microphone* Well. Sorry, 'bout yo' damn luck!
*Roode and Storm run into the ring, and the two teams begin throwing punches at each other. The Ref tries to get some semblance of order, and eventually Storm and Christian are facing off. Bell rings as Storm takes down Christian with a clothesline. He picks the man up, whips him to the corner, and tags in Roode. The two work Christian over in the corner before Storm gets behind the ropes. Roode viels Christian out of the corner, and then kicks him in the spine. Christian sells like a champ, and Roode picks him up and tries to whip him to the corner. Christian reverses, and then quickly tags in Edge. Edge charges the corner, shoulder ramming Roode and following up with a few more shoulder tackles. He steps away, and when Roode stumbles out of the corner, he hits a dropkick, sending Roode tumbling over the ropes. He showboats for the crowd, as Storm heads around and checks on Roode. The ref begins counting, and Roode gets in on five. Edge quickly hits him with a drop toe hold, and begins working him over, making frequent tags to Christian. Christian throws Roode to the ropes, and goes down for a back body drop. Roode counters with a kick to the face, and then hits the ropes again. Christian catches him in a sleeper, but Roode immediately counters into a back suplex. Down for a four count, they both manage to get back up. Christian hits the ropes, but Roode grabs him for a spinebuster! Hot tag to Storm, tag to Edge, Storm comes in like a ball of fire. He hits Edge with a clothesline. Christian uses the ropes to get up, and Storm clotheslines Christian over the ropes. Edge gets up, and Storm kicks him in the midsection and goes for a suplex. Roode quickly gets to the other side, and they hit the Beer Money Suplex! The bend over, and the crowd yells with them...BEER! MONEY! While Edge rolls out of the ring. Christian, Meanwhile, is busy getting two chairs. One is tossed to Edge, and while the Ref is pushing Roode out of the ring, they slide in! They quickly move to Conchairto Storm, but Storm ducks it. They slam the chairs together, and Christian drops the chair and yelps in pain while Storm hits the Last Call on Edge. Edge goes down, Storm pins, 1-2-3 Victory for Beer Money!*
Cole: And Beer Money moves on! At Run for Glory, it'll be Beer Money against the Motor City Machine Guns for the TCW Tag Team Titles!
Ventura: Not if Edge and Christian had hit that Conchairto, it wouldn't be!
Cole: But they *didn't*, and it is! Anyway, coming up now we've got a Singles Tournament match! MVP against the Hometown Hero, Mister Perfect!
Ventura: Oh, man, I've been waiting all *night* for this match!
*MVP's music hits, and MVP enters from the back. He poses as the pyro goes off. He slides into the ring, and poses for the crowd. Then Mr. Perfect's music plays, and Perfect enters from the back. He moves slowly, clearly studying his opponent. He slaps some hands on his way to the ring, and then steps in through the ropes. Match starts. Perfect extends his hand to shake. MVP shakes, and then they go for the lock up. Perfect turns it into a headlock. MVP tries to push him off, but Perfect hangs on. MVP tries again to push him off, but Perfect again hangs on. Perfect then rolls around into a hammerlock, but MVP immediately counters into a hammerlock of his own. MVP then grabs a waistlock, picks up Perfect and slams him down on his face before floating over into a front facelock. Perfect powers to his feet, and then tries to grapple MVP for the Perfect Plex, but MVP backs out. Perfect smirks at him, and then the two go for another lockup. MVP puts Perfect into a headlock, but Perfect pushes him off. MVP hits the ropes, but comes off like a ball of fire, hitting Perfect with a shoulder tackle. Perfect gets up, and MVP hits the ropes again and hits another tackle. MVP hits the ropes a third time, and Perfect hits the ground. He stands up as MVP comes from the other ropes, and tries to hit a clothesline, but MVP ducks it and grabs Perfect into a neckbreaker. MVP gets to his feet, hits the ropes, and then he's BALLIN'! Before dropping an elbow. He goes for a pin. 1-2, kickout! He picks Perfect up, and whips him to the corner before heading to the opposite corner. He stomps his foot a few times, before running at the corner, moving for a kick. Perfect ducks it and slides out of the ring, leaving MVP with his foot caught up on the top rope. Perfect grabs MVP's other leg, pulling him onto the ground and pulling his leg half out of the ring. He hits a heavy elbow onto MVP's knee before sliding back in. He picks up MVP, but MVP cuts him off with a leg sweep, and jumps over for a bridge. 1-2 kickout! MVP moves to pick Perfect up, but Perfect swings a few punches at MVP's knee. MVP cuts him off with a forearm to the back, and then picks Perfect up for a suplex! Floatover, 1-2, kickout! MVP gets up, frusterated, walking away for a moment to get his head together. Perfect gets up to his knees, and MVP turns and charges. Perfect grabs his leg, and counters into a single leg crab. He manages to hold it for a bit, before MVP turns it around and counters it into a pinning hold. 1-2, kickout! Perfect swings up to his feet, and MVP does the same. MVP tries once mor eto charge, but this time his knee gives out. He steps right into a hold from Perfect, who picks him up and delivers the Perfect Plex. 1-2-3, Victory!*
Cole: And Mister Perfect pulls a victory!
Ventura: A perfect victory, Cole!
Cole: It was certainly impressive...
Ventura: Perfect, Cole! Just say it! Say it!
Cole: Fine, fine, it was a perfect victory. But we have to take a commercial break right now!
(Commercial: *Normal looking person walking down the street, when they're suddenly accosted by people wearing Monk's robes, and Buddhist robes, and Christian holy symbols, and Pentacles. Each person sounds like they're trying to get the person to convert to their chosen religion, and the normal ooking person now looks in distress. The scene suddenly pauses, and the guy looks up*
Guy: Has this ever happened to you? You're just minding your own business, when you're accosted by prosylatizeing assholes? Why can't there be a God who stops their followers from annoying the piss out of everyone?
Narrator voice over: But now there is! The All Powerful Nateboi, God of Holy Wrath and Bullshit, believes that people should come to him on their own. So a scene with his followers would look like this!
*Rewind, the normal looking guy walks down the street. Two people, male and female, come from nowhere. Beer in their hand, and they begin prosylatizing. Then, ina puff of smoke, appears a guy with long hair, sunglasses, and a purple beret. He grabs both the man and the woman's ear*
Nateboi: Hey! Who the fuck told you two to go out and annoy people on the god fucking street?! That's it, come on. No beer for either of you for a week! *Nateboi begins to drag the two off.*
Normal looking guy: ...huh. That's new. And respectable! Maybe I should look into this All Powerful One!
Narrator: Find out about the God that has dozens of people talking! Listen to Rantin' and Ravin' with the All Powerful Nateboi, Sundays at 5pm CST and Wednesday at 11pm CST, only at http://www.dementiaradio.org )
*Back to the announcers!*
Ventura: We're joined here by Mister Perfect himself! Oh what a treat!
Perfect: Always a pleasure to sit next to someone who's done so much in this business, Jesse. Oh, and nice to see you again, too, Cole.
Cole: Nice to see you too, Mister Perfect. I presume you're out here to see the next Tournament match?
Perfect: Oh, most certainly. You dont' take on someoen like Awesome Kong without scouting a bit
Cole: You dont' know it'll be Kong who wins. It might be Dolph Ziggler!
Perfect: Look, Cole. I respect Mister Ziggles. He's a damn fine athlete, and in five or ten years, he'll really be world title material. But right now? He's young, he's immature, and he doesn't have half a chance against someone with the *power* of Awesome Kong. Did you see her manhandle Mr. Kennedy in her first match? It's just plain impressive!
*Dolph Ziggler's music plays, and Ziggler comes down from the back. He walks around the announce table, giving Perfect a look. Perfect waves it off dismissivly, and Ziggler gets into the ring. Kong's music begins playing, and Kong comes to the ring, with Saeed. Kong slides intot he ring, and Ziggler immediately rushes her, throwing forearms and chops. Kong no sells them, before backhand chopping Ziggler. Ziggler practicaly flies across the ring, looking at Kong with his eyes wide. He then rushes her again. Kong moves to clothesline him, but he ducks and hits the rope, before coming back and drop kicking her in the knee. She stumbles, but doesn't fall. Ziggler hits the ropes again, and once more drop kicks her to the knee. Once more she stumbles, but doesn't fall. Ziggler goes to the ropes a third time, but this time Kong catches him in a choke, and shoves him across the ring. He rolls out, gasping for breath and again looking surprised*
Cole: Ziggler is trying, but he just can't seem to get Kong off her feet!
Perfect: Like I said, Cole. She's too powerful for someone his size. They're about the same height, but she outweighs him by, what, fifty pounds? Seventy? He's going to have to be crafty to even have a chance, and right now, I'm not seeing it.
*Ziggler rolls back in, but Kong meets him with several stomps. She then works him over, working with several stomps and chops as he gets to his feet. She throws him to the corner, backs up, and then charges, turning and back splashing him in the corner. She backs up again, slapping her backside to signal another back splash, and charges. This time Ziggler slides out of the ring. As Kong gets her bearings from having slammed into an empty turnbuckle, Ziggler grabs her ankle, trying to pull her down. She doesn't move, looking down at his hands. He then punches her in the back fo the knee, which makes her stumble. With the stumble, Ziggler pulls and gets her down. He drags her leg out of the ring, and swings the knee against the ringpost*
Ventura: Smart move by Ziggles! Taking out the monster's base!
*Ziggler once again swings Kong's knee against the ring post, to the admonishment of the Ref. Ziggler slides back into the ring, struggling as he drags Kong to the middle of the ring. He turns her over, pin. 1-2, kickout. Kong begins getting to her feet, Ziggler peppering her with forearms as she stands. She shoves him away, and he rolls across the ring. He gets up quickly, once more going with the forearms, and Kong once again shoves him away, getting to her feet. He tries again to charge her, but she catches him in a double handed choke, picking him up into the air before dropping him in a slam onto the ground. Ziggler sells like a champ, and Kong picks him up quickly, putting his head between her knees for an awesome bomb. He falls, scutteling out and out of the ring quickly. He looks at Kong, and then moves to Saeed, shoving her and yelling. She yells back, and the Ref moves to break it up. Ziggler rolls in the ring, but Saeed is apparently not done. She gets up on the ring apron, still distracting the Ref. Ziggler runs, ducking a clothesline from Kong and rolling out of the ring on the other side. IN a flash, he grabs a chair, and gets back into the ring. While the Ref is still dealing with Saeed, Ziggler slams the chair against Kong's head. Kong wobbles, but doesn't fall*
Cole: Oh my God, Kong just took a direct chair shot and didn't drop!
*Ziggler's eyes go wide, and then he throws the chair to Kong. Kong catches it, and Ziggler drops to the ground just as the Ref turns around. He looks at Ziggler, looks at Kong, looks back at Ziggler, back at Kong, and then shakes his head and calls for the bell. HE moves to the ring announcer, and gives his call*
Announcer: Your winner of the match, and moving on to the Singles Title Match at Run for Glory, by Disqualification...AWESOME KONG!
*Ziggler sits up, his eyes wide. He's livid. Kong looks a little confused. Ziggler gets up, yellinga t the Ref. He grabs the Ref by the shirt, but Kong moves in, grabs him, and hits him with an awesome bomb. The Ref quickly moves out of the ring, deciding that now is a good time to get the hell out of dodge*
Cole: What...what just happened?! It looked like Ziggler had a plan to get Kong disqualified, but...
Ventura: I dunno, Cole, but let's go to Lauren and see if she can get the ref's thoughts on this!
*Scene shifts. Lauren has grabbed the referree*
Lauren: Shane Sewell! Excuse me, what happened there?!
Sewell: What happened? I used my brain, is what happened. Look at Kong, and then look at Ziggler. There was no reason for Kong to have brought that chair into the ring. What am I, stupid? I don't blame Ziggler for trying, but hell if I'm gonna let him insult my intelligence like that! So, no. The rules state that if you bring a foreign object into play, you get DQ'd. Ziggler was the one with the reason to use a chair, so Ziggler was probably the one who brought it in. *Sewell walks off*
Lauren: You heard it here first. Back to you, Cole and ...*she looks off to the side, and the camera shifts. There's McMahon, talking to Seamus*
McMahon: Alright, so five thousand, you said?
Seamus: That's right, McMahon. And I want it up front.
McMahon: Half up front. The other half after you deliver.
*The two shake hands, and part ways*
*Back to the announce table, sans Perfect*
Cole: Well, I can definitely understand Referee Shane Sewell's thoughts there.
Ventura: Oh, can't argue with it. Someone like Awesome Kong doesn't need a chair to take out Dolph Ziggler! But did you see McMahon? Making sure Lynn isn't going to be ready for his match at Run for Glory!
Cole: Shane McMahon is a *snake*. He's a snake like his father, and he's throwing his money around to get things he doesn't deserve!
Ventura: That belt is rightfully his, and you know it, Cole!
Cole: There's a lot of dispute on that one, partner. But for now, we've got a main event to get to!
*Horace the Psychopath's entrance music plays, and Horace comes to the ring,e scorted by Shane McMahon. Horace is carrying a trash can, and he stops before getting into the ring, raising it to the crowd. Horace rolls into the ring, and Shane stays outside. Lynn's music begins playing...but no Lynn! Horace and Shane look around, trying to figure out where Lynn is*
Cole: ...That's Lynn's music, but no Gimmick Champ!
Ventura: Maybe he smartened up and decided to forfiet this match! There's *nothing* for him to gain by taking on Horace less than a week before Run for Glory!
*Lynn's music repeats...and Lynn runs in from the crowd, chair in hand. He jumps Shane McMahon, smacking him in the head with the chair. Shane drops, and Lynn smashes the edge of the chair into his chest. He hits Shane one more time as Horace comes out of the ring, dragging the trash can with him. Horace swings the can, but Lynn dodges and smacks the chair edge into Horace's gut. Horace bends over, and Lynn hits him in the back. Horace drops, and Lynn goes for a quick pin. 1-2, kickout! Lynn picks up Horace, and slams his head into the ring apron before whipping him at the steel stairs. Horace reverses, and Lynn goes back first into the stairs. Horace charges, and rams his knee into Lynn's face. Trainers are coming from the back, moving towards Shane to check on him*
Cole: Shane might have broken ribs or a concussion after that attack!
Ventura: Not a McMahon! He's too tough to get taken out by something like that!
*Horace picks up Lynn, and rolls Lynn into the ring. Horace then reaches under the ring, and pulls out a chair. Chair is tossed inside, followed by another chair, a trash can lid, and a trash can. Horace rolls in while Lynn is getting to his feet. Horace runs at Lynn, but Lynn quickly drop toe holds him before rolling for a can lid. Lynn drops to the ground, slamming the lid on Horace's head, before getting up and signaling to the crowd. The trainers are checking on Shane, but Shane is trying to push them away. Lynn picks up Horace, peppering him with a few punches before sending him to the ropes. He drops down, Horace hits the other side. Lynn jumps over Horace, and Horace hits the ropes a third time, before Lynn hits a drop kick. Horace goes down, and Lynn goes for the cover. 1-2, kickout. Lynn stands to his feet, grabbing a chair and moving to the corner. He shoves the chair in between the turnbuckles, before moving to grab up Horace. Horace responds with a low blow, and Lynn drops to his knees, grabbing at his crotch. Horace picks up Lynn, and throws Lynn into the corner with the chair. Shane is up by now, slapping the apron and cheering on Horace. Horace steps back, and charges to the corner, hitting a splash. Lynn drops, and Horace goes for the pin. 1-2, kickout! Horace picks up Lynn, but Lynn pushes his arms away, kicks him in the mid-section, and hits the DDT! They're both down, but Shane slides in and begins stomping on Lynn. The Ref tries to push Shane away, but Shane pushes him away and goes back to stomping on Lynn a few times before grabbing Horace's arm and throwing it over Lynn. Ref looks at this, and sighs, before dropping to his knees. 1-2, kickout! Shane is livid, and picks Lynn up. He throws Lynn against the ropes, and hits a clothesline. He then picks Lynn up and throws him against the ropes again. He goes for a clothesline, but Lynn ducks, hits the other ropes, and hits a flying head scissors on Shane. Shane goes rolling out of the ring, and Horace is getting up. Lynn runs to the corner, and hops up on the top rope. As Horace gets up, he jumps, and hits a missile dropkick! Pin, 1-2, kickout! Lynn then rolls up, waiting for Horace to stand up, stalking him. Shane, however, goes under the ring.*
Cole: What's Shane going for now?! And why haven't we seen Seamus in this match?!
Ventura: Don't worry, Cole, McMahon has a plan!
*And out from under the ring comes...HORNSWAGGLE! Shane throws the leperchaun into the ring, and Hornswaggle runs at Lynn, hitting a low blow and punching the champ in the face a few times before rolling out of the ring and crawling back underneath the ring. Horace gets up, grabs up Lynn, and hits a powerbomb! Horace then hits the ropes, and hits a jumping senton on Lynn before going for the pin. 1-2-3, victory!*
Ventura: That's what McMahon was talking to Seamus about! Using his leperchaun!
Cole: A vile victory for Horace the Psychopath!
Ventura: Hey, Lynn agreed to a no DQ match! He has no one but himself to thank!
Cole: That's all the time we have, ladies and gentlemen! Call your cable company for Run for Glory this Sunday! We have the Motor City Machine Guns against Beer Money for the TCW Tag Team titles, Awesome Kong against Mister Perfect for the TCW Singles Division championship! We also have Ken Shamrock against Bob Holly in a Falls Count Anywhere match, Edge and Christian against D-X for the number one contender's spot for the tag team titles, and Jerry Lynn against Shane McMahon in a Street Fight for the Gimmick Division Title!
Once again, from the city of Minneapolis! This! Is! TWIN CITIES WRESTLING! *Entrance video showcasing the different wrestlers, into pyro and panning the crowd. Camera finally ends on Cole and Ventura, with Cole once again in a nice suit and Ventura in a sports jacket and a frilly pink boa*
Cole: Welcome once again ladies and gentlemen to TCW Explosion! I'm Michael Cole, and here is my broadcast partner Jesse 'The Body' Ventura! *Crowd pop when Ventura is pointed out*
Ventura: Ah, my fans! Hold up a moment, Cole. I've gotta give them what they came for! *Ventura stands up on the broadcast table, flexing and posing for a few moments before he sits back down* There, that's better.
Cole: A flamboyant start to the last Explosion before Run for Glory! We've got...
*Jerry Lynn's entrance music begins playing, and Lynn comes down to the ring, belt on his shoulder. He gets into the ring, standing on the second turnbuckle and holding the belt up for a crowd pop, before moving for the microphone*
Cole: And I think Jerry Lynn has something to say!
Ventura: That loser should just shut his mouth and hand that belt over to the *Real* Champion, Shane McMahon!
Lynn: McMAHON! That really how you want to play it, McMahon?! You think having Horace the Pyschopath come out and powerbomb me into thumbtacks is gonna stop me from kicking every single inch of your ass this Sunday at Run for Glory?! Oh, trust me, it won't! And as for you, Horace? What, didn't I kick your ass enough in all the states and territories we wrestled in? You suddenly forget all the times I've kicked your ass right here, in Minneapolis?! *Crowd pop* Well, fine! I'll just have to kick your ass again!
*Slaughter's music begins playing, and the Commissioner comes out to a pretty good reaction*
Slaughter: Didn't you learn your lesson last week, maggot?! Attacking people backstage results in heavy fines around here!
Lynn: *He doesn't look happy, adjusting his belt on his shoulder* Alright, fine! In that case, I want Horace in a match tonight!
Slaughter: *He seems to ponder this for a moment* Alright...and if I let this match happen, what stipulation are you offering? Keep in mind, you've got a Street Fight with McMahon this Sunday for the title.
Lynn: *He thinks for a moment, licking his lips, before answering* Screw it. I want a no-DQ match! And I just *hope* McMahon gets involved!
Slaughter: You want it, Lynn? You got it.
Cole: Oh man! A no-DQ match between Lynn and Horace the Psychopath right here, tonight!
Ventura: And you can bet Horace is gonna have Shane-O Mac with him tonight, too! What the hell is Lynn thinking?! Rightful champion or not, you don't go into a no-DQ match with a guy like Horace when you have less than a week before a title defense!
Cole: Lynn is thinking about revenge, plain and simple! But for now, let's go to the back with Lauren, who's got Dolph Ziggler for a few questions.
*Scene shifts, Lauren stands with Ziggler*
Lauren: Dolph Ziggler, last week you heinously attacked Mr. Perfect after his main event match with Johnny Saint. Do you have an explination for all the fans here?
Ziggler: *Grabs the mike violently* Ok, you know what? First off, screw the fans! *Crowd boos* What've they done for me, ever?! Nothing, that's what! Now, as for what I did last week? Curt Hennig comes out here, calls himself Mister Perfect, and thinks he'll get away with it? Hennig, you may think you're perfect, but the truth is, I. Am. Perfection! And...
*Awesome Kong and Raesha Saeed come from the side, and Saeed rips the microphone away from Ziggler*
Saeed: SILENCE! You run your mouth back here about perfection, but have you ever felt the full wrath of Kong?! You! Are! NOTHING!
*Ziggler and Kong stare each other down, before Ziggler backs off and walks away. Lauren speaks into the microphone, which is being held by Saeed*
Lauren: Uh...back to you, Michael and Jesse...
*Scene shfits back to Cole and Jesse*
Cole: Man, you could cut that tension with a knife!
Jesse: Still cant' say I approve of women in the ring with men, but I can't say it wouldn't make me laugh to watch Kong implant buster Mister Ziggles a few times!
Cole: In any case, we've got a Falls Count Anywhere matchup between Balls Mahoney and Arik Cannon coming up!
*Mahoney's entrance music plays, and Mahoney comes out, showboating for the crowd. He slides into the ring, and then back out, ehading to the broadcast table and grabbing up a headset for a moment*
Mahoney: The hell good's a Falls Count Anywhere match if you can't hit someone with a chair?! *Cole and Jesse shake their heads as Balls heads back to the ring*
*Cannon's music plays, and he comes out a ball of energy, slapping hands as he heads down the ramp. Mahoney slides out of the ring, charging Cannon with a couple of punches. Cannon tries to mount an offense, but Balls is relentless. He punches Cannon towards the guard railing, and Cannon falls back against it. Mahoney hiptosses Cannon from the railing onto the floor, and goes for the pin. 1-2, kickout. Balls picks up Cannon, and Cannon tries to mount an offense. He delivers a few punches to the midsection, but Balls cuts him off with a knee to the gut. Balls works him over with a few more punches, before whipping Cannon into the guard railing and then clotheslining him over. Balls raises his arms, showboating to the crowd, before climbing over the railing. He's met by Cannon, who grabs him and hits a t-bone suplex. Balls lands near the stairs leading up to the higher seats, and they're both down for a efw moments. Cannon is to his feet first, and moves towards Balls, but Balls drop toe hold's him into the stairs. Cannon's face hits the stairs, and his nose starts bleeding. That just encourages Balls to straddle Cannon and slam his head down into the stairs. The Ref tries to pull Balls off, eventually resorting to a 5-count. Balls is off at 4*
Cole: Good on the Ref for pulling Balls off of Cannon! This isn't a No DQ match, after all!
Ventura: I don't blame Balls for trying to take as much leeway as possible, though. And if Cannon wants to take part in a Gimmick Division match, then he's gotta be ready to fight those guys on their terms!
*Balls showboats for a moment, before going back to pick Cannon up. Cannon fights back with a hard blow to the mid-section, and follows up with two more, which stun Balls. Cannon gets up with a European Uppercut, and then hits with a hard clothesline. Balls goes to the floor, and Cannon wastes no time. He picks Balls up, slams his head against the guard railing, and then throws him over. Balls goes tumbeling to the floor, and Cannon proceeds to climb atop a nearby empty chair. Waiting. When Balls gets up, Cannon jumps off the chair, shoulder tackling Balls back to the ground. Cannon for the pin. 1-2, kickout. Cannon picks up Balls, and moves for a suplex. Balls blocks, and reverses for his own suplex, before floating over into a pin. 1-2, kickout. Balls picks up Cannon, and rolls him into the ring before beginning to climb up to the top turnbuckle. Balls jumps off, but Cannon is up in a burst of energy, and dropkicks Balls in the midsection. Balls down, Cannon pins, 1-2, kickout. Cannon lays in wait, and when Balls gets to his feet, Cannon grabs him up onto his shoulder, and hits the burning hammer. Cover, 1-2-3, Victory to Cannon!*
Cole: Oh my word, Cannon just hit the burning hammer on a three hundred pound man!
Ventura: I have to admit, that's *scary* strong. Balls Mahoney is no small man!
Cole: Indeed he's not! An impressive victory for The Anarchist, Arik Cannon. We've gotta take a commercial break, folks, but when we get back, we've got the next match in the Singles Tournament semi-finals, between MVP and Mr. Perfect, the last match of the Tag Tournament semi-finals between Beer Money and Edge and Christian, Dolph Ziggler against Awesome Kong, and our main event, Jerry Lynn against Horace the Psychopath in a No DQ match!
(Commercial: *Woman walking down the street, and she gets distracted by doughnuts in a bakery window. A puff of smoke appears next to her, and there's Satan, who is the Devil*
Satan: Ooooh. Doughnuts! Wouldn't *those* be tasty?
Woman: I dunno...they're not very good for you...
Satan: Oh, what's there to worry about? Surely you can have just *one*...
Woman: Well...maybe...
*Jesus appears suddenly*
Jesus: I'm not going to let you seduce this innocent soul, Satan!
*Jesus spinning kung fu kicks Satan in the face. Satan flies off screen, and Jesus turns to the woman, opening his hand and offering her a square of RisenChrist*
Jesus: RisenChrist is the only candy that cares about your eternal soul! A creamy milk chocolate covers a crunchy, Christ filled center. Much better than those doughnuts!
Woman: *Takes the candy and pops it into her mouth, smiling brightly*
Jingle: RisenChrist, it's RisenChrist! Try the Lord today! *Jesus smiles for the camera as a bell dings*)
*Back to the announce team*
Ventura: Come on, Cole, that one had Jesus martial arts kicking Satan in the face! That's not strange to you?
Cole: They're just commercials, partner. Anyway, let's go to back with Lauren, who has with her Edge and Christian!
*Scene shifts to the back. Edge and Christian are wearing giant vikings helmets*
Lauren: I'm here with Edge and Christian, who...*Christian rips the microphone from her*
Christian: Please. Like we need you to announce us!
Edge: That's right. We totally reek of awesomeness, and I think the audience can tell that from here.
Christian: Anyway, tonight, in the semi-finals of the tag team tournament, we're facing...uh...who're we facing again?
Edge: Vodka Quarters?
Christian: Isn't that some kind of a bar game?
Edge: Like I ever go to bars. All they have around here are gay bars and sports bars anyway.
Christian: Yeah, but we look *totally* awesome in these vikings helmets!
Edge: Yeah, too bad the Vikings football team can't seem to pull a victory!
Christian: Anyway, come on, man. We've gotta go out and win a match!
Edge: Wait, wait! We need one more thing!
Christian and Edge together: *pause for a moment, before proclaiming excitedly* THEME SONG!
*Edge and Christian pull out kazoo's, and begin playing music on them as they head off. Lauren has a 'I don't get paid enough for this' look on her face, and the scene shifts back to Cole and Jesse*
Cole: Edge and Christian, just as flamboyant as always.
Ventura: Gotta admire good flamboyance, Cole!
*Edge and Christian's music begins playing, and E&C step out of the back, still humming on their kazoos. They head out to the ring, and Edge grabs a microphone*
Edge: And now, for the benefit of those with flash photography! Here is your...
*Beer Money's music begins playing, and Rood and Storm come from the back. Storm is on his beer scooter, Rood simply walking. E&C look pissed*
Edge: What are you doing?! We're about to give our five second pose!
Storm: *Gets off the scooter, and grabs a microphone* Well. Sorry, 'bout yo' damn luck!
*Roode and Storm run into the ring, and the two teams begin throwing punches at each other. The Ref tries to get some semblance of order, and eventually Storm and Christian are facing off. Bell rings as Storm takes down Christian with a clothesline. He picks the man up, whips him to the corner, and tags in Roode. The two work Christian over in the corner before Storm gets behind the ropes. Roode viels Christian out of the corner, and then kicks him in the spine. Christian sells like a champ, and Roode picks him up and tries to whip him to the corner. Christian reverses, and then quickly tags in Edge. Edge charges the corner, shoulder ramming Roode and following up with a few more shoulder tackles. He steps away, and when Roode stumbles out of the corner, he hits a dropkick, sending Roode tumbling over the ropes. He showboats for the crowd, as Storm heads around and checks on Roode. The ref begins counting, and Roode gets in on five. Edge quickly hits him with a drop toe hold, and begins working him over, making frequent tags to Christian. Christian throws Roode to the ropes, and goes down for a back body drop. Roode counters with a kick to the face, and then hits the ropes again. Christian catches him in a sleeper, but Roode immediately counters into a back suplex. Down for a four count, they both manage to get back up. Christian hits the ropes, but Roode grabs him for a spinebuster! Hot tag to Storm, tag to Edge, Storm comes in like a ball of fire. He hits Edge with a clothesline. Christian uses the ropes to get up, and Storm clotheslines Christian over the ropes. Edge gets up, and Storm kicks him in the midsection and goes for a suplex. Roode quickly gets to the other side, and they hit the Beer Money Suplex! The bend over, and the crowd yells with them...BEER! MONEY! While Edge rolls out of the ring. Christian, Meanwhile, is busy getting two chairs. One is tossed to Edge, and while the Ref is pushing Roode out of the ring, they slide in! They quickly move to Conchairto Storm, but Storm ducks it. They slam the chairs together, and Christian drops the chair and yelps in pain while Storm hits the Last Call on Edge. Edge goes down, Storm pins, 1-2-3 Victory for Beer Money!*
Cole: And Beer Money moves on! At Run for Glory, it'll be Beer Money against the Motor City Machine Guns for the TCW Tag Team Titles!
Ventura: Not if Edge and Christian had hit that Conchairto, it wouldn't be!
Cole: But they *didn't*, and it is! Anyway, coming up now we've got a Singles Tournament match! MVP against the Hometown Hero, Mister Perfect!
Ventura: Oh, man, I've been waiting all *night* for this match!
*MVP's music hits, and MVP enters from the back. He poses as the pyro goes off. He slides into the ring, and poses for the crowd. Then Mr. Perfect's music plays, and Perfect enters from the back. He moves slowly, clearly studying his opponent. He slaps some hands on his way to the ring, and then steps in through the ropes. Match starts. Perfect extends his hand to shake. MVP shakes, and then they go for the lock up. Perfect turns it into a headlock. MVP tries to push him off, but Perfect hangs on. MVP tries again to push him off, but Perfect again hangs on. Perfect then rolls around into a hammerlock, but MVP immediately counters into a hammerlock of his own. MVP then grabs a waistlock, picks up Perfect and slams him down on his face before floating over into a front facelock. Perfect powers to his feet, and then tries to grapple MVP for the Perfect Plex, but MVP backs out. Perfect smirks at him, and then the two go for another lockup. MVP puts Perfect into a headlock, but Perfect pushes him off. MVP hits the ropes, but comes off like a ball of fire, hitting Perfect with a shoulder tackle. Perfect gets up, and MVP hits the ropes again and hits another tackle. MVP hits the ropes a third time, and Perfect hits the ground. He stands up as MVP comes from the other ropes, and tries to hit a clothesline, but MVP ducks it and grabs Perfect into a neckbreaker. MVP gets to his feet, hits the ropes, and then he's BALLIN'! Before dropping an elbow. He goes for a pin. 1-2, kickout! He picks Perfect up, and whips him to the corner before heading to the opposite corner. He stomps his foot a few times, before running at the corner, moving for a kick. Perfect ducks it and slides out of the ring, leaving MVP with his foot caught up on the top rope. Perfect grabs MVP's other leg, pulling him onto the ground and pulling his leg half out of the ring. He hits a heavy elbow onto MVP's knee before sliding back in. He picks up MVP, but MVP cuts him off with a leg sweep, and jumps over for a bridge. 1-2 kickout! MVP moves to pick Perfect up, but Perfect swings a few punches at MVP's knee. MVP cuts him off with a forearm to the back, and then picks Perfect up for a suplex! Floatover, 1-2, kickout! MVP gets up, frusterated, walking away for a moment to get his head together. Perfect gets up to his knees, and MVP turns and charges. Perfect grabs his leg, and counters into a single leg crab. He manages to hold it for a bit, before MVP turns it around and counters it into a pinning hold. 1-2, kickout! Perfect swings up to his feet, and MVP does the same. MVP tries once mor eto charge, but this time his knee gives out. He steps right into a hold from Perfect, who picks him up and delivers the Perfect Plex. 1-2-3, Victory!*
Cole: And Mister Perfect pulls a victory!
Ventura: A perfect victory, Cole!
Cole: It was certainly impressive...
Ventura: Perfect, Cole! Just say it! Say it!
Cole: Fine, fine, it was a perfect victory. But we have to take a commercial break right now!
(Commercial: *Normal looking person walking down the street, when they're suddenly accosted by people wearing Monk's robes, and Buddhist robes, and Christian holy symbols, and Pentacles. Each person sounds like they're trying to get the person to convert to their chosen religion, and the normal ooking person now looks in distress. The scene suddenly pauses, and the guy looks up*
Guy: Has this ever happened to you? You're just minding your own business, when you're accosted by prosylatizeing assholes? Why can't there be a God who stops their followers from annoying the piss out of everyone?
Narrator voice over: But now there is! The All Powerful Nateboi, God of Holy Wrath and Bullshit, believes that people should come to him on their own. So a scene with his followers would look like this!
*Rewind, the normal looking guy walks down the street. Two people, male and female, come from nowhere. Beer in their hand, and they begin prosylatizing. Then, ina puff of smoke, appears a guy with long hair, sunglasses, and a purple beret. He grabs both the man and the woman's ear*
Nateboi: Hey! Who the fuck told you two to go out and annoy people on the god fucking street?! That's it, come on. No beer for either of you for a week! *Nateboi begins to drag the two off.*
Normal looking guy: ...huh. That's new. And respectable! Maybe I should look into this All Powerful One!
Narrator: Find out about the God that has dozens of people talking! Listen to Rantin' and Ravin' with the All Powerful Nateboi, Sundays at 5pm CST and Wednesday at 11pm CST, only at http://www.dementiaradio.org )
*Back to the announcers!*
Ventura: We're joined here by Mister Perfect himself! Oh what a treat!
Perfect: Always a pleasure to sit next to someone who's done so much in this business, Jesse. Oh, and nice to see you again, too, Cole.
Cole: Nice to see you too, Mister Perfect. I presume you're out here to see the next Tournament match?
Perfect: Oh, most certainly. You dont' take on someoen like Awesome Kong without scouting a bit
Cole: You dont' know it'll be Kong who wins. It might be Dolph Ziggler!
Perfect: Look, Cole. I respect Mister Ziggles. He's a damn fine athlete, and in five or ten years, he'll really be world title material. But right now? He's young, he's immature, and he doesn't have half a chance against someone with the *power* of Awesome Kong. Did you see her manhandle Mr. Kennedy in her first match? It's just plain impressive!
*Dolph Ziggler's music plays, and Ziggler comes down from the back. He walks around the announce table, giving Perfect a look. Perfect waves it off dismissivly, and Ziggler gets into the ring. Kong's music begins playing, and Kong comes to the ring, with Saeed. Kong slides intot he ring, and Ziggler immediately rushes her, throwing forearms and chops. Kong no sells them, before backhand chopping Ziggler. Ziggler practicaly flies across the ring, looking at Kong with his eyes wide. He then rushes her again. Kong moves to clothesline him, but he ducks and hits the rope, before coming back and drop kicking her in the knee. She stumbles, but doesn't fall. Ziggler hits the ropes again, and once more drop kicks her to the knee. Once more she stumbles, but doesn't fall. Ziggler goes to the ropes a third time, but this time Kong catches him in a choke, and shoves him across the ring. He rolls out, gasping for breath and again looking surprised*
Cole: Ziggler is trying, but he just can't seem to get Kong off her feet!
Perfect: Like I said, Cole. She's too powerful for someone his size. They're about the same height, but she outweighs him by, what, fifty pounds? Seventy? He's going to have to be crafty to even have a chance, and right now, I'm not seeing it.
*Ziggler rolls back in, but Kong meets him with several stomps. She then works him over, working with several stomps and chops as he gets to his feet. She throws him to the corner, backs up, and then charges, turning and back splashing him in the corner. She backs up again, slapping her backside to signal another back splash, and charges. This time Ziggler slides out of the ring. As Kong gets her bearings from having slammed into an empty turnbuckle, Ziggler grabs her ankle, trying to pull her down. She doesn't move, looking down at his hands. He then punches her in the back fo the knee, which makes her stumble. With the stumble, Ziggler pulls and gets her down. He drags her leg out of the ring, and swings the knee against the ringpost*
Ventura: Smart move by Ziggles! Taking out the monster's base!
*Ziggler once again swings Kong's knee against the ring post, to the admonishment of the Ref. Ziggler slides back into the ring, struggling as he drags Kong to the middle of the ring. He turns her over, pin. 1-2, kickout. Kong begins getting to her feet, Ziggler peppering her with forearms as she stands. She shoves him away, and he rolls across the ring. He gets up quickly, once more going with the forearms, and Kong once again shoves him away, getting to her feet. He tries again to charge her, but she catches him in a double handed choke, picking him up into the air before dropping him in a slam onto the ground. Ziggler sells like a champ, and Kong picks him up quickly, putting his head between her knees for an awesome bomb. He falls, scutteling out and out of the ring quickly. He looks at Kong, and then moves to Saeed, shoving her and yelling. She yells back, and the Ref moves to break it up. Ziggler rolls in the ring, but Saeed is apparently not done. She gets up on the ring apron, still distracting the Ref. Ziggler runs, ducking a clothesline from Kong and rolling out of the ring on the other side. IN a flash, he grabs a chair, and gets back into the ring. While the Ref is still dealing with Saeed, Ziggler slams the chair against Kong's head. Kong wobbles, but doesn't fall*
Cole: Oh my God, Kong just took a direct chair shot and didn't drop!
*Ziggler's eyes go wide, and then he throws the chair to Kong. Kong catches it, and Ziggler drops to the ground just as the Ref turns around. He looks at Ziggler, looks at Kong, looks back at Ziggler, back at Kong, and then shakes his head and calls for the bell. HE moves to the ring announcer, and gives his call*
Announcer: Your winner of the match, and moving on to the Singles Title Match at Run for Glory, by Disqualification...AWESOME KONG!
*Ziggler sits up, his eyes wide. He's livid. Kong looks a little confused. Ziggler gets up, yellinga t the Ref. He grabs the Ref by the shirt, but Kong moves in, grabs him, and hits him with an awesome bomb. The Ref quickly moves out of the ring, deciding that now is a good time to get the hell out of dodge*
Cole: What...what just happened?! It looked like Ziggler had a plan to get Kong disqualified, but...
Ventura: I dunno, Cole, but let's go to Lauren and see if she can get the ref's thoughts on this!
*Scene shifts. Lauren has grabbed the referree*
Lauren: Shane Sewell! Excuse me, what happened there?!
Sewell: What happened? I used my brain, is what happened. Look at Kong, and then look at Ziggler. There was no reason for Kong to have brought that chair into the ring. What am I, stupid? I don't blame Ziggler for trying, but hell if I'm gonna let him insult my intelligence like that! So, no. The rules state that if you bring a foreign object into play, you get DQ'd. Ziggler was the one with the reason to use a chair, so Ziggler was probably the one who brought it in. *Sewell walks off*
Lauren: You heard it here first. Back to you, Cole and ...*she looks off to the side, and the camera shifts. There's McMahon, talking to Seamus*
McMahon: Alright, so five thousand, you said?
Seamus: That's right, McMahon. And I want it up front.
McMahon: Half up front. The other half after you deliver.
*The two shake hands, and part ways*
*Back to the announce table, sans Perfect*
Cole: Well, I can definitely understand Referee Shane Sewell's thoughts there.
Ventura: Oh, can't argue with it. Someone like Awesome Kong doesn't need a chair to take out Dolph Ziggler! But did you see McMahon? Making sure Lynn isn't going to be ready for his match at Run for Glory!
Cole: Shane McMahon is a *snake*. He's a snake like his father, and he's throwing his money around to get things he doesn't deserve!
Ventura: That belt is rightfully his, and you know it, Cole!
Cole: There's a lot of dispute on that one, partner. But for now, we've got a main event to get to!
*Horace the Psychopath's entrance music plays, and Horace comes to the ring,e scorted by Shane McMahon. Horace is carrying a trash can, and he stops before getting into the ring, raising it to the crowd. Horace rolls into the ring, and Shane stays outside. Lynn's music begins playing...but no Lynn! Horace and Shane look around, trying to figure out where Lynn is*
Cole: ...That's Lynn's music, but no Gimmick Champ!
Ventura: Maybe he smartened up and decided to forfiet this match! There's *nothing* for him to gain by taking on Horace less than a week before Run for Glory!
*Lynn's music repeats...and Lynn runs in from the crowd, chair in hand. He jumps Shane McMahon, smacking him in the head with the chair. Shane drops, and Lynn smashes the edge of the chair into his chest. He hits Shane one more time as Horace comes out of the ring, dragging the trash can with him. Horace swings the can, but Lynn dodges and smacks the chair edge into Horace's gut. Horace bends over, and Lynn hits him in the back. Horace drops, and Lynn goes for a quick pin. 1-2, kickout! Lynn picks up Horace, and slams his head into the ring apron before whipping him at the steel stairs. Horace reverses, and Lynn goes back first into the stairs. Horace charges, and rams his knee into Lynn's face. Trainers are coming from the back, moving towards Shane to check on him*
Cole: Shane might have broken ribs or a concussion after that attack!
Ventura: Not a McMahon! He's too tough to get taken out by something like that!
*Horace picks up Lynn, and rolls Lynn into the ring. Horace then reaches under the ring, and pulls out a chair. Chair is tossed inside, followed by another chair, a trash can lid, and a trash can. Horace rolls in while Lynn is getting to his feet. Horace runs at Lynn, but Lynn quickly drop toe holds him before rolling for a can lid. Lynn drops to the ground, slamming the lid on Horace's head, before getting up and signaling to the crowd. The trainers are checking on Shane, but Shane is trying to push them away. Lynn picks up Horace, peppering him with a few punches before sending him to the ropes. He drops down, Horace hits the other side. Lynn jumps over Horace, and Horace hits the ropes a third time, before Lynn hits a drop kick. Horace goes down, and Lynn goes for the cover. 1-2, kickout. Lynn stands to his feet, grabbing a chair and moving to the corner. He shoves the chair in between the turnbuckles, before moving to grab up Horace. Horace responds with a low blow, and Lynn drops to his knees, grabbing at his crotch. Horace picks up Lynn, and throws Lynn into the corner with the chair. Shane is up by now, slapping the apron and cheering on Horace. Horace steps back, and charges to the corner, hitting a splash. Lynn drops, and Horace goes for the pin. 1-2, kickout! Horace picks up Lynn, but Lynn pushes his arms away, kicks him in the mid-section, and hits the DDT! They're both down, but Shane slides in and begins stomping on Lynn. The Ref tries to push Shane away, but Shane pushes him away and goes back to stomping on Lynn a few times before grabbing Horace's arm and throwing it over Lynn. Ref looks at this, and sighs, before dropping to his knees. 1-2, kickout! Shane is livid, and picks Lynn up. He throws Lynn against the ropes, and hits a clothesline. He then picks Lynn up and throws him against the ropes again. He goes for a clothesline, but Lynn ducks, hits the other ropes, and hits a flying head scissors on Shane. Shane goes rolling out of the ring, and Horace is getting up. Lynn runs to the corner, and hops up on the top rope. As Horace gets up, he jumps, and hits a missile dropkick! Pin, 1-2, kickout! Lynn then rolls up, waiting for Horace to stand up, stalking him. Shane, however, goes under the ring.*
Cole: What's Shane going for now?! And why haven't we seen Seamus in this match?!
Ventura: Don't worry, Cole, McMahon has a plan!
*And out from under the ring comes...HORNSWAGGLE! Shane throws the leperchaun into the ring, and Hornswaggle runs at Lynn, hitting a low blow and punching the champ in the face a few times before rolling out of the ring and crawling back underneath the ring. Horace gets up, grabs up Lynn, and hits a powerbomb! Horace then hits the ropes, and hits a jumping senton on Lynn before going for the pin. 1-2-3, victory!*
Ventura: That's what McMahon was talking to Seamus about! Using his leperchaun!
Cole: A vile victory for Horace the Psychopath!
Ventura: Hey, Lynn agreed to a no DQ match! He has no one but himself to thank!
Cole: That's all the time we have, ladies and gentlemen! Call your cable company for Run for Glory this Sunday! We have the Motor City Machine Guns against Beer Money for the TCW Tag Team titles, Awesome Kong against Mister Perfect for the TCW Singles Division championship! We also have Ken Shamrock against Bob Holly in a Falls Count Anywhere match, Edge and Christian against D-X for the number one contender's spot for the tag team titles, and Jerry Lynn against Shane McMahon in a Street Fight for the Gimmick Division Title!