Okay, so I know I'd said I wasn't doing one of these for this episode, but after watching it I've decided to, if only because it's a way to kind of clear my head and get my thoughts out there.
This probably won't be as snarky as usual, given the subject material, but since I really tried to stay away from social media during/after the episode because I just...grieve very oddly and didn't have that fandom connection, this is something that I can do to contribute at least a little bit as to what I thought about the episode. I've talked about what Cory and Finn meant to me before so I don't want to re-hash that too much, but I saw a lot of myself in Finn and was a huge fan of Cory's since almost the beginning of Glee so I was hoping the tribute did both of them justice.
And, really, I thought that the people that should have been focused on were, that the people that weren't weren't, and that there was only one thing I didn't really like and I'll get to that as we go.
I knew as soon as they announced they were doing 'Seasons of Love' that it would open the episode, and RENT is one of my favorite musicals so I was glad that they chose this song because it's really powerful.
I also really liked that they kind of went from 'people that knew Finn the least' to 'people that knew him the most' as far as introducing the characters went.
And, despite the insane amount of hate directed toward both Darren and Blaine for how they were going to 'steal the spotlight', Blaine sang nothing and didn't even have one line of dialogue. So they can all go back to their dark little corners and keep hating a fictional character, because I have no words for them.
This whole number was just staged so well.
I'm probably going to talk about Kurt at length throughout the recap because as far as the grieving process goes, he's the closest to how I grieve in that he internalizes the process and I thought his character this episode was so strong and while I think some of those choices were deliberate by Chris (he's said that he doesn't cry very often as opposed to Kurt) they also fit what we know of Kurt's character, even though sometimes he can get very emotional I can believe in this situation that he wouldn't.
We all knew Amber was getting the glory notes as soon as the song was announced, right?
:(
And again, everybody else in the episode talked about their feelings and screamed and cried and Kurt just...had an internal monologue and let himself grieve only in his head. And so many of his lines just struck a chord with me, especially the 'so many people care about how he died, but that's one moment in his life, I care about how he lived' which is just...powerful.
I could go on about the shadowplay in this shot but I won't.
I also liked Emma's characterization here, because for another character that's normally pretty emotional she was very composed and took her job as a counselor very seriously. And I didn't mind that they injected some humor into some of Sue's lines because, as somebody whose family does turn to humor in serious situations (my grandmother passed away the same day as Cory so I can speak to recent experiences here) I appreciated them showing that it's okay.
And Beiste still has the biggest travel coffee mug in the world.
I'm glad they brought Harry back, even if he didn't do anything more than sit there.
His smile when Mercedes says what song she's doing. Some people here might not know this about me, especially if you're coming here from the Klaine thread, but I used to be the biggest Finn/Kurt shipper out there in the first two seasons and then it kind of...turned into more of a brOTP for me but 'Ballad' was the episode that pretty much confirmed that I was going to ship them, and that scene in the auditorium before Finn sings 'I'll Stand By You' is still so gorgeous and tentative and honest and the one thing I always loved about Finn and Kurt's relationship was that they were never afraid to tell each other things they wouldn't tell anybody else.
Part of me thought they would revisit more of Finn's old songs, but I'm glad they did at least one.
Oh, Sue. Still ripping off your (ex)-students.
Kurt is not impressed by this.
This scene just looked kind of creepy like I know what he was doing with the knife now but at the time it was just...ookay then.
I know what vest Carole's holding and it hurts.
I love so much that they referenced all of these old moments in this scene, and it was just...really powerful and well-acted on the parts of all of them and even though everybody said Will was 'a rock' in this episode, Kurt was just as much of a support system. Even here, with both Burt and Carole breaking down, Kurt was the one to comfort them and that just speaks to how mature he's gotten. Oh, and maybe the fact that he was doing the 'Single Ladies' hand wave while, well, wearing a ring this time made me smile a little.
The fact that Finn kept the lamp is actually painful and I wish they would have talked about it before.
I also really liked this little touch, because so often people think about the 'big things' they have to keep when a loved one dies, but Kurt's hanging onto that hairbrush for dear life and I think it speaks true that sometimes the littlest trinkets or everyday items can hold more sentimental value than anything else.
Also this, that of all things, Burt regrets not hugging him more. Because again, it seems like such a small thing, but that guilt can just...gnaw away at you until somebody tells you it's okay.
Aaand this was where things started to get very not okay, because Kurt looks like he's trying to sink into that jacket, and when I saw this in the promo it made my chest ache because we know Kurt uses scent to evoke memory. And when he told Finn that, about his mother's perfume, Finn didn't make fun of him and you could tell that meant a lot at the time, so to see him just burying his nose in the jacket is really painful.
All of the little touches on the bulletin board are very nice, the newspaper article about Grease, the picture of the Acafellas, etc.
Carole :( Romy was so brilliant here and the dialogue was...I'm not a mother and I have little to no maternal instincts, but it hit me.
And again, we have Kurt being the strong one and holding them together.
The dumpster was kind of a nice touch as well.
And this little flashback LOOK AT HIM HE'S SO LITTLE.
And now look at him, he almost fills out Finn's jacket and I'm still astounded sometimes at how much Chris has grown since the first season. Also, I was never much of a Puckurt shipper, but this scene made me wish they'd interacted more in the past.
I just have so much love for Kurt this episode he is so past the point of being bullied or being scared of anybody and you could see the fire in his eyes when Puck implied he didn't deserve to wear the jacket.
Every time Sam's sung anything since maybe last February my dad's looked at me and said, 'wow, he's really gotten better at singing!'. I know, dad. You've only said it about fifteen times by now.
I'm glad that Sam, Artie, and Tina got their little moments in this episode, too. Although apparently Glee already recorded this song with Kevin singing lead to use in another episode (I have no idea which one it was supposed to be) but there's one way to use a song the audience has never heard before, I guess!
Random Santina moment.
I was trying to read some of the messages but most of them are really hard to make out.
Figgins :(
Her face at Figgins calling Bree 'new Santana Lopez' even though, well, let's face it, that's what she is.
I loved this scene. Naya was perfect and that one time she kind of shrieked when she was so fed up and anguished was just :(. And I'm glad that the show gave us both of these characters still mostly in-character even with the delicate nature of the episode.
Also I'm glad Sue was finally called out on her shit, because it's been a long time coming and it does fit that it would take something like this for Santana to finally lose it with her.
Although how somebody who's as skinny as a stick and half a foot shorter managed to throw her across the room I'll never quite know.
I don't think Sue knows, either.
This part I...really didn't get. I mean, I know it was to show that sometimes when people are grieving they start thinking about themselves, but I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing in certain situations. Death, especially for somebody who has never experienced it before, can really make you look at yourself, and taking care of yourself even when you're grieving is so, so important (I say this as a person who's struggled with depression and I basically can't let myself grieve or else I'm going to become a danger to my own health) and I feel like that's one aspect of the grieving process the show kind of skipped over.
Although, yes, wearing black probably isn't that dangerous, but I wish they would have expanded upon this a little or at least implied that it's okay to take care of yourself and think about your own well-being as well.
But again, I loved Emma in this episode, because she was able to tell that unlike somebody like Kurt who was stoic and composed because he had made peace with everything, Will was just fighting down those feelings and not letting himself grieve in the way that was best for him.
Even if he won't admit it yet.
"You're beautiful." Okay let's talk about how much I love Puck/Beiste scenes.
I'm also very glad they showed anger as a response to grief because it's such a common one.
"Finn would have kicked over one of my chairs."
"Yeah, that was kinda his specialty."
I'm just...
I'm glad that she just told it to him straight, even though it couldn't have been easy to hear. Sometimes that harsh reality check is what it takes to break somebody out of the grief cycle, and even though some people had issues with Puck, you know, going back to his old ways with threatening Kurt and whatnot, I think it fit for what his story was in the episode and he always used his badboy image as a wall against the fact that he's actually a really decent guy.
My dad: "and now we will sing a Taylor Swift song together."
Me: "dad that was season 3."
HIS FACE WHEN SHE TELLS HIM TREES GROW.
Mike and Blaine's reactions to Santana's rather insulting introduction to her solo judging boys are judging.
He actually weirdly looks like Finn in that jacket but I love so much that he just didn't care about his outfits or anything because he wanted to wear it.
Oh Santana.
I really liked this next scene, because despite living together Kurt and Santana don't really interact much one-on-one.
I also like how Kurt was, you know, sympathetic but still snarky with his, 'well you only had one chorus left I mean...'
And it's nice that Santana actually took the time to write out a lot of good things because I think it would have been really OOC of her to be completely declawed all episode, but you could tell as the seasons went on that she did like Finn, whatever her problems with him were.
And this really resonated with me because this is how my family grieves, we tell stories about the good times and reminisce and smile. And just even knowing that you can still smile sometimes helps an awful lot.
But this: "He was a much better person than I am."
"That is true."
No sugar-coating from Kurt here.
And I liked that he gave her the jacket because she needed it in that moment, as opposed to not giving it to Puck because he demanded it. It says a lot about Kurt.
Yay I'm so glad Mark got to sing again since I'm guessing he won't be around much anymore.
Sam and Mike :(
Ouch this hurt, that they kept panning to this empty chair that was just off to the side.
I don't know why I capped this I think just because he looked so gorgeous.
And the lyrics of this song are just...almost so spot-on it's creepy. Especially the 'these drums and these guitars' line.
The group dynamic in this episode was wonderful, but I'd expect it to be.
And again, 'well you know if we're naming suspects that's pretty much just you.'
The return of "no me gusta."
And here the fact that he's not mad, because he gets it, but he's very matter-of-fact and 'I don't care if you have it but you can't keep it okay bye.'
Poor Puck, he's always going to be accused whenever anything goes missing. Although this was...kind of really hypocritical of Will to lecture him, considering he took the jacket (this is the aforementioned thing I didn't like)
She looks like she's waiting for the other shoe to drop because Sue really couldn't have just admitted she was right, could she?
And I liked Sue's reaction in this scene, too, because she point-blank says that this doesn't make her a better person, but she can still regret being mean to Finn all the time.
Still not convinced.
I don't expect this version of Sue to last, but since she pretty much told us she wouldn't be, maybe that's okay.
...still can't read most of them, but I think a lot of them are from the crew members.
And Kitty gets her one line of the episode.
Again, we have Kurt literally supporting somebody. So that's...well...Burt, Carole, Santana, Rachel, Mercedes, and even Puck in a way. He's the real rock of the episode.
I'm glad Brad came back to play in this episode. You could tell from his tweets that Cory's death hit him hard and he is a big part of the show, even if it's usually just a background one. I thought Rachel this episode was very mature, too, but then I've said before that I really like Rachel this season. In the past she tended to make her grief all about her, but now she's telling people that she can handle it and even admitting that she probably talked too much in her relationship with Finn and didn't listen enough, and that's big.
Tike moment :(
I know a lot of people wondered how Lea got through this, and I can only speak for myself, but I did sing and play at my grandmother's funeral back when I was...sixteen or so? And I was asked the same thing over and over and really...there's no answer. I got through it because it was something I really wanted to do.
And even though I'm not the biggest fan of this version of the song (I prefer the more country-ish version compared to the Adele soul/jazz one, and all my tumblr people are going to groan but if you want to hear my favorite rendition of that one it's
here and it starts about 2 minutes in. And yes it's Aaron of course it is) it was lovely.
I'm sure this was intentional especially since Sam and Santana rarely have seen eye to eye.
And I think this was supposed to show that Tina's finally reaching out and comforting other people, in that she's keeping both Mike and Artie close.
In a way, I'm glad this was the only Klaine moment in the entire episode, and I know some people are reading really deeply into it, but for me it's not really about shipping (and I don't like to think of it as anything about shipping because I don't want their relationship at this point to be some sort of reaction to Finn's death, and to me it wasn't portrayed that way). It's about Kurt letting somebody comfort him for the first time all episode, and you can tell that he's still not sure if he wants that...but it's Blaine, and he's the one person right now that Kurt will allow to see him break a little.
And this also says so much about Blaine, that even though he's crying and obviously not in the best place, his first reaction is to make sure Kurt's okay and do what he can for Kurt and their tiny smiles at each other and it was such a little moment but it said so much.
ETA: this shot where you can see their hands is kind of what I'm basing my 'Kurt is letting himself be comforted' thoughts on, because Blaine's not just grabbing his arm, their fingers are actually intertwined:
A lot of people say they're never coming back to McKinley, don't they? And yet...
I didn't even mind Will hugging teenagers because I think it was needed.
So what happened to the $20 that Kurt gave Sue for a new tree?
:(
I don't know if we'll hear about Puck in the air force or even if he does join, but I guess if Glee wants to use this as a send-off it works and it's a nice tribute to Finn that Puck would want to join up.
I am going to miss these two together, though, because their scenes were always lovely.
What a bad boy with his motorbike.
And now at least we know what he was doing with the knife.
It's been so long since we've had a Will/Rachel scene and even though they might be my two least favorite characters normally, this was nice.
And I think this was supposed to tell us how Glee was going to originally end, because by all accounts this was intended to be Matt's final season and Finn would have taken the club over and then I guess at the very end Rachel would come back once she'd found success elsewhere.
As soon as they started talking about the quote I knew which one it was. Even though they got it wrong.
Because he actually said 'the show's gotta go all over the place,' but it's such a nice thought and really the perfect quote for him.
Yeah, not a fan of him stealing the jacket, so if we don't see it again my head!canon is that either he gives it back to Burt and they give it to Kurt, because I really do want Kurt to have it, or else they get it framed and put in the locker room like Puck suggested.
Again, Emma being the strong one this episode was perfect, and I'm sad that because of Jayma's new show she can't really do Glee anymore (I think she said they're only allowing her to do two or three episodes the entire season, which is crappy)
I knew the episode would end with Will finally breaking down after all the spoilers and build-up.
-
So. I think I said everything I wanted to, now that I've had more time to process, but it really was a lovely tribute. I'll see you all for the Katy/GaGa/Glambert spectacular in November!