Fic: Crossing The Line, Part 2/2, Kurt/Blaine
Title: Crossing The Line
Author: AoiTsukikage
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairing: Klaine
Chapters: 18/18
Word Count: ~20,700
Spoilers: Nothing specific
Summary: Written for a GKM prompt. Blaine and Kurt meet in college when they share a dorm room together. Both of them are hiding their sexuality, but since neither is getting any action elsewhere, they enter into a friends-with-benefits type of relationship. Eventually it goes a little too far to be just ‘bros helping bros’ and the truth has to come out.
X.
For his part, Kurt can’t believe this is happening. All of it seems like some sort of strange fever-dream, and he has to remind himself that it’s real, and Blaine’s really here and naked and the slide of their skin together is almost intoxicating. It’s so much, and so much more than he’d ever thought he’d get so soon, and he’s trying really hard to stay calm but Blaine’s just so…comfortable with all of this that he’s trying to open up a little bit more.
Blaine’s lips against his shoulder make him shiver, make his cock twitch against his thigh, but he has to focus on Blaine now so he tries to ignore his own suddenly-there teenaged libido and strokes Blaine a little more firmly, his hand shaking.
Blaine’s cock is almost a comforting weight in his palm, warm and smooth and yes, he’ll admit, impressive. He knows he’s not small by any means, but Blaine’s quite a few inches shorter than he is and Kurt’s hard-pressed to see the difference between them…down there.
Which is fine by him. Blaine’s entirely too gorgeous for his own good, his body stunningly perfect and Kurt just feels awkward, because he’s all legs and too pale and with an annoying bit of baby fat on his stomach that just never seems to go away no matter what he does, but Blaine’s not making him feel inadequate or judged at all and that’s…helping quite a lot, really.
“Kurt, please,” Blaine groans against his neck and Kurt realizes that he’s gotten lost in thought, his hand just sort of loosely holding Blaine’s erection, so he starts stroking a little faster, reaching a hand behind Blaine’s head to tangle in his hair and pull him in closer.
“It’s okay,” he whispers and hears Blaine sigh against his skin before he starts sucking, and oh, God, this is probably against every rule they’d made for their little arrangement but at least it was November and he wears enough scarves on a regular basis that it won’t look strange.
Still, he doesn’t relish the thought of explaining to his family why he’s got a hickey, even though what Blaine’s doing feels so amazing he doesn’t want him to stop. “Kurt,” Blaine begs again, almost pleading and it’s really, really hot when he does that so Kurt takes pity on him and twists his wrist a little.
He’s not really experienced in doing this…yes, he’s a teenage boy, and he’s had urges that he couldn’t help but give into, but he knows that he’s not jerking off nearly as often as most other guys his age (or at least the ones he’d gone to school with) so he hopes that what he’s doing is good enough.
It seems to be, from the way Blaine’s softly groaning and clutching at him, mouth still working against Kurt’s neck as Kurt slides his thumb over the head of Blaine’s cock, drawing a surprised gasp from the smaller boy.
“Feel good?” he asks, just to be sure, and Blaine nods shakily and pushes his hips upward.
“Yes, just…faster. Please. I need to come,” he says it like he’s almost ashamed of that fact but Kurt obliges, his hand working with more intensity as he strokes rapidly. “Oh fuck, Kurt, I can’t…”
“It’s okay,” Kurt promises, swallowing loudly and feeling Blaine’s whole body tense up as he tries to keep his orgasm at bay. “It’s…it’s okay, if you need to…come for me. I want you to,” his voice drops without him even meaning to do that, coming out low and sultry, and Blaine bites down on his shoulder as he comes, entire body shaking with it and his hands scrabbling at Kurt’s back.
Kurt closes his eyes against the sharp stab of pain, really not expecting Blaine to have done that and he so does not have a biting kink but it’s…good, and it keeps him grounded as he strokes Blaine through his orgasm, the other boy boneless and shuddering as he slumps against him.
“Holy fuck, Kurt…” Blaine murmurs, closing his eyes and snuggling against Kurt’s shoulder, and Kurt absently reaches to brush some wayward curls off of Blaine’s forehead because he figures that in the afterglow he can maybe get away with a little bit more.
“Mm. Sticky,” Kurt decides, reluctantly peeling himself away from Blaine and heading into the washroom to wet a cloth. He cleans himself up first before rinsing it and bringing it back, wiping off Blaine’s stomach when the other boy seems too exhausted to do it himself. “Okay?”
“Yeah. Really, really okay,” Blaine grins dopily at him and Kurt smacks his arm lightly, smiling fondly as he throws the cloth into the bathtub and starts to search for his clothes. “What’re you doing?”
“Going to bed,” Kurt replies briskly, even though his entire body is screaming at him to cuddle with Blaine and fall asleep in his arms.
He can’t, and he knows that, and this is getting weird enough without all of these added feelings coming into play.
Especially when Blaine can never return them.
“I have to get up early to help Carole with dinner,” he explains as he starts to pull on his underwear and Blaine makes a sleepy noise of protest.
“Stay,” Blaine looks so earnest, his eyes sleep-hazed but still wide and pleading, and Kurt’s mind is screaming at him to get away from there because he’s going to blow his cover.
But…
It’s Blaine. And he can’t. And this is only going to end in heartbreak, but he deserves to be happy for now even if it’s only one-sided.
“Okay. Just for a little bit,” he concedes, and Blaine smiles lazily before shoving himself under the covers, Kurt joining him and gasping in surprise when Blaine slings an arm over his stomach and cuddles up to his back. “Blaine?”
“Mm-hmm?”
“This is…really gay. Like, really gay,” he says cautiously and Blaine smacks his lips and presses them to Kurt’s shoulder again.
“You’re warm. I’m tired. Go to sleep, Kurt,” Blaine murmurs, already halfway there himself, and Kurt tells himself that he’ll get up early in the morning so his father and Carole and Finn won’t suspect anything.
It’s still so wrong.
But he just can’t bring himself to really care.
XI.
Blaine wakes up with a start, his hips rolling lazily forward and he scrambles back before he can even register why exactly he’s in bed with somebody else. Naked in bed with somebody else, he remembers suddenly, and he doubts Kurt will be happy to have his morning wood snugged up against him. Blaine sighs and sits up a little, glancing over at the clock. 6:00 in the morning. Good.
“Kurt,” he whispers, taking those last few moments to stay close because he doubts Kurt will ever want to repeat this. And really, he shouldn’t be repeating it because Kurt’s going to be questioning whether Blaine’s really as straight as he says he is pretty soon if he does.
Kurt hums and finally opens his eyes, stretching a bit and looking over at the night-table. “ ‘s early,” he mumbles, still at least half-asleep, and he turns around and tucks his head under Blaine’s chin.
Blaine’s freaking out, because fuck, this is every wet dream he’s ever had come true, but he’s so close to blowing his cover already and that can’t happen. Not when he’s in a strange town, in a strange house, miles away from anybody that can come get him if things get ugly. “Kurt, hey, we fell asleep last night…you need to get up…”
“Mmwha?” Kurt slurs, finally opening his eyes and blinking before he realizes the position they’re in. Blaine looks for some sort of horror to pass over his face but he looks…surprised, and a little embarrassed, but certainly not mortified. “Oh. Well. I should…” he rolls away from Blaine and stands up, quickly getting dressed and running a hand through his hair before he heads for the door. “Get some more sleep, Blaine. I’ll see you in a couple of hours,” he lifts one hand in a wave before leaving, and Blaine flops back on the bed and tries not to think about how badly that could have gone.
-
Breakfast is a casual affair, a quick, “grab whatever you want!” from Carole greeting him as he enters the kitchen, and he takes a banana and a croissant from the bowl on the table before retreating to the living room, sitting beside Finn on the couch.
“Yeah, it’s better to just leave ‘em be, dude,” Finn grins at him and gestures to the TV. “You like football?”
“Love it,” Blaine admits, and Finn shoots him a grin and turns the game on, both of them eating in silence (although admittedly Finn eats about three times as much as he does) before he turns to Blaine and Blaine gets inexplicably nervous.
“Kurt hates football,” he says conversationally. “Which is weird, ‘cuz he was on the team for a bit, but I don’t think he really cares about the rules or anything,” he laughs as Kurt sweeps into the room and levels a glare at him, grabbing their dishes before he’s rushing back into the kitchen.
“Kurt played football? I mean, he told me about Glee Club, but…”
“Yeah, for a bit,” Finn leans forward to turn the volume down on the TV before half-turning toward Blaine. “Look, dude, Kurt’s…he doesn’t let people in real easy, so the fact that he likes you enough to invite you here for a family holiday? That’s huge. And I trust him, so I know you’re a good guy, but I still don’t wanna say too much because he should tell you his own story, right?” Finn’s brow is furrowed as he searches for what he’s going to say next. “Okay. Um, well, he was really tiny back in like sophomore year, and his voice has always been kinda high so some of the jocks gave him crap for it. I mean, once we all joined Glee Club and especially after our parents got married I’ve been trying to look out for him, but sometimes I…I couldn’t, and that was my own fault,” Finn looks guilty and Blaine’s not going to press, not this time.
“And…”
“Oh! Yeah, so one day he asked me to help him get on the football team because it would make his dad happy, so he and I practiced for a bit and he ended up being the kicker. Won us our only winning game of the season,” he laughs and shrugs. “I mean, he didn’t stay long, once he had to choose between football and Glee Club it was pretty easy for him to quit, and then the next summer he hit his growth spurt and after all of us in the Club started lookin’ out for him he really didn’t need to pretend to be into sports anymore, so…” he finishes and leans back, and Blaine bites his lip and turns his face away.
He’d guessed that Kurt wouldn’t have had it easy, even being straight, because people would assume things from his voice and the way he dressed and the way he carried himself, but maybe both of them have some demons in their past they still need to let go of.
“Well, I’m glad he’s letting me be his friend. He’s…really great,” Blaine knows it’s lame, but Finn claps him on the shoulder anyway and turns back to the TV, so Blaine settles in to watch and tries not to think about anything other than football.
It doesn’t really work, because Kurt seems to be on his mind all the time, but maybe he can pretend for a few more hours that he’s not falling for his straight roommate.
XII.
By the time Friday night comes around, Kurt’s feeling more relaxed and more like himself after a day shopping with his girls. He doesn’t have to hide around them, and even though he also couldn’t hide how he really felt about Blaine from Tina and Mercedes, he knows both of them will keep their mouths shut.
The night ends with Finn trying to get information out of him about whether he likes Blaine or not, and even though his stepbrother is being stupidly persistent Kurt can tell that he would be okay with it if he and Blaine were dating and that’s a good feeling (even though he knows it’ll never happen).
He eventually shoos Finn from his room and lies back on his bed, determined to stay upstairs tonight. Last night had been…incredible, certainly, and sleeping naked in Blaine’s arms was something he’d dearly love to repeat, but it’s far too dangerous and he’s already worried enough about tomorrow night.
Tomorrow night. The party at Rachel’s because her dads had to leave in the morning for some reason so Puck’s bringing the alcohol and they’re going to have, in Rachel’s words, a ‘full New Directions reunion, Kurt, and of course you can bring Blaine!’ so now he has to count on all of his friends remembering that Blaine doesn’t know he’s gay.
And it’s hard enough for them to remember things sober, much less completely trashed, so he’s fully expecting his secret to be out by the time tomorrow’s over and he’s not sure what he can do to prevent that.
-
“Shove over, Hobbit,” is what greets Blaine as he’s sitting on the couch downstairs at Rachel’s place. The party is in full swing and he’s got a can of beer in his hand, determined not to get plastered like the last time he’d been at a party, but he obediently moves and the girl plops down beside him.
Santana, he remembers, and she’s pretty in a really fierce way and her entire being radiates confidence and self-assuredness in a way he’s never quite been able to pull off outside of being on stage. “Did you…need to talk to me?”
“Cut the crap, Frodo,” she replies, crossing her legs primly and staring at him with dark eyes. “You’re queer as a three-dollar bill and I don’t know why you’re hiding it. Kurt’s not going to judge you,” she sniffs and Blaine pales immediately, the room spinning and he knows it’s not from the alcohol and oh, God, she’s going to tell Kurt and… “Hey, hey!” she snaps her fingers in front of his face and he turns to her quickly, swallowing. “Don’t look so scared. I’m not going to out you; that happened to me, and it sucks,” she shrugs and Blaine gets it and nods. “I notice you’re not denying it, though, which is good because my gaydar is totally accurate and I know, okay?”
“Okay,” he squeaks out. “And I…I can’t tell Kurt. I want to, I know that he’d be…be okay with it, but I can’t,” he doesn’t elaborate and thankfully she doesn’t ask, but she leans back and sighs.
“Look. Kurt’s…special, okay? And I can tell you like him.”
“I don’t…”
“You’ve been staring at him since we got here. You want what Hummel’s got, and I don’t blame you, but you’re never going to get your chance unless you tell him,” she makes it sound so simple and Blaine’s not about to tell her that he’s already getting his chance, although maybe not in the way he’d like.
“He’s straight, Santana,” he protests and he can see Santana roll her eyes and wonders what that’s about before she turns to him and taps her fingers on his knee.
“Let me tell you a story, Hobbit. Back in sophomore year I slept with pretty much every guy in the school. Sex? Yeah, it felt good, but it meant nothing. And then Brittany and I started fooling around,” she gestures to a blonde girl who’s hanging off of Kurt’s neck and talking about…unicorns, apparently. He can see a softness in Santana’s eyes when she looks at the other girl and he immediately knows that there’s something there. “Brittany and I…we were both hot, we were both cheerleaders, we both decided one day that fooling around would be a good idea. So we did. And by the middle of junior year, we were still fooling around and I was starting to think that maybe I was bisexual. But the more and more I was with Brittany, the more I realized that sex with her didn’t just mean more because she was my best friend, but because she was a girl, and by the time senior year came around? Lesbian,” she points to herself.
“That’s…I mean, that’s great that you figured it out, Santana, but I don’t see what it has to do with…”
“Point is, pretty pony, that sexuality isn’t a straight line. It’s fluid. Sure, Hummel’s made out with girls before…with Brittany, actually…but that doesn’t mean he’s straight. I mean, has he ever been interested in finding a girlfriend at college yet?” she turns to him, her gaze piercing, and he knows he’s caught.
“Well, no, but…”
“But nothing. Take a chance. You might be surprised,” she pats his arm before winking at him and standing up, pulling down her skintight mini-dress before she heads off to talk to Brittany.
Blaine knows he can’t take her advice, because that would mean admitting he’s been lying to Kurt and enjoying their ‘bro-sessions’ much more than he’s been pretending to, but the thought that Kurt might not be entirely straight?
Yeah, it’s a nice one.
-
Eventually a highly intoxicated Rachel screeches about ‘Spin the Bottle!’ and Blaine is roped into playing, sitting between Kurt and Santana (both of whom still seem relatively sober compared to some of the others) and watching as the rules are laid out (“it doesn’t matter who you land on, you’re kissing them, we’re all friends here!”) before the game starts.
It’s fun, in a way, just to be carefree and not worry about sexuality or boys and girls or anything, just a bunch of teenagers having fun, since Dalton was always pretty stuffy and they never really had the chance to let loose like this.
He ends up kissing both Rachel and Santana, and it’s fine enough although Rachel is so far gone that her mouth almost misses his when she tries to go in and she ends up falling on top of him, cackling manically until Santana heaves her off and pushes her back across the circle.
The only real bit of awkwardness comes when Finn tries to point out that ‘relatives shouldn’t have to kiss, that’s practically incest!’ when the bottle lands on Kurt, but he’s quickly overruled by another boy sporting a Mohawk (Puck, if he remembers Kurt’s introductions) who’s grinning rather evilly and says,
“Dude, you and Kurt aren’t even real brothers, and besides…if this was back in sophomore year, Kurt would be…”
Blaine doesn’t get to find out what Kurt would have done back then because the boy in question scrambles across the circle and smacks his lips to Finn’s for barely even half a second, sliding back and glaring at Puck who looks properly abashed.
Finn doesn’t look all that traumatized, though, and he just shrugs and goes back to drinking his beer as Kurt brushes his shoulder against Blaine’s and heaves what sounds like a sigh of relief.
And now Blaine’s really confused, because it’s not like anything like that could have happened with Finn and Kurt before, but Santana’s smirking like the cat that’s got the cream but he tries to put it out of his mind and focus on the fact that Kurt’s spinning now, and as the bottle slows down he starts to get a Very Bad Feeling.
A feeling that’s only complicated by the fact that, of course, the bottle’s pointing straight to him, and he looks up and sees Kurt looking at him in a mixture of fear and shock while Santana, who’s literally turning into the devil on his shoulder, leans forward and whispers, “Go get him.”
And Blaine knows he really doesn’t have a choice.
XIII.
Kurt almost groans at the predictability of it all. He’d just managed to avert a near crisis (he should have known somebody would inadvertently almost out him, and while he was betting on Brittany initially, he quickly realized that nobody except those close to her would have any idea what she meant when she talked about unicorns and dolphins so he was probably safe there. But trust Puck to bring up his old crush on Finn and nearly ruin everything) and even though, yes, four years ago kissing Finn would have been something really high on his list, it wasn’t as if it had been earth-shattering now considering the circumstances.
Plus he does kind of see Finn more as a brother now than anything, so it’s best to leave it at that. But of course, of course his spin would land on Blaine, and from the look on Blaine’s face, he’s not ready to do this either.
Still, it’ll look far more suspicious to back out, and he sighs and turns to his side, smiling apologetically at the shorter man.
“With tongue!” Santana shouts from Blaine’s other side, her words dissolving into a cackle, and Kurt rolls his eyes.
“You can’t change the rules, Satan.”
“I just did, Hummel,” she retorts, looking around the circle. “Anybody object?”
There’s silence from everybody else, and Kurt glares at the circle at large although most of the girls at least look excited for him and dear God, do they all know he’s got a raging crush on Blaine?
“Blaine, we don’t have to…” he starts but Blaine shakes his head and cuts him off.
“No. It wouldn’t be cool of us to back out now, and it’s not really a big deal, right?” he raises one eyebrow slightly and Kurt nods, telling himself that he has to look at it that way, too.
“Right,” he scoots closer and reaches to place his hand on Blaine’s face, tilting his chin up. He can feel the other boy’s breath stutter and his eyes half-close for a moment before he leans in, his own arms draping over Kurt’s shoulders and pulling him closer.
They sit there for a matter of seconds, breathing each other’s air and staring into each other’s eyes, before Kurt realizes that he’s once again kissing somebody that doesn’t love him back and he really needs to stop that, but it’s too late and Blaine’s lips are already on his.
He can tell that Blaine hasn’t had much experience (not that he’s one to talk, obviously), but he’s sure and firm, pressing against Kurt’s lips without any hesitation and when he flicks his tongue against them, seeking entrance, Kurt can barely muster the muscle memory to open his mouth.
And then he does, and the surprised little moan he lets out when Blaine’s tongue brushes against his causes more cackling from Santana. He chooses to ignore her, holding Blaine’s face with both hands now and trying to imagine that it’s just them, that Blaine feels the same way he does, and that nobody’s going to interrupt them or let reality come crashing back in, because this?
Even if Blaine’s straight, even if it means nothing to him, Kurt’s definitely counting this as his first real kiss.
Blaine pulls back far too soon for his liking, his lips kiss-swollen and his eyes a little glazed, and Kurt quickly lets go of his face and moves back, cheeks burning as he wraps his arms around his knees and stares at the floor. He can feel Blaine shifting beside him, clearing his throat.
“Was that good enough?” the other boy asks and Santana must approve because the next thing Kurt knows the bottle is spinning again, and he’s just grateful that it doesn’t land on him for the rest of the evening.
-
“Are you mad?” Blaine knocks at his bedroom door later that night, both of them obviously tired and Kurt really doesn’t want to fly back tomorrow but it’s not like he has any choice.
“At you? No. At Santana? That’s…debatable,” he decides, sitting up and motioning Blaine over, and the other boy sits beside him, closed off and drawn in until Kurt rests a hand on his knee.
“Blaine, I know that…this whole friends with benefits thing doesn’t mean anything, but I am here for you if you need anything. I’m not afraid I’m going to, you know, suddenly become gay because I’m touching another boy,” he promises with a tiny smile, and if part of it is because he also wants Blaine to hold him, that doesn’t really matter.
Blaine huffs out a tiny laugh and moves sideways, letting his head dip to rest on Kurt’s shoulder and turning into his body. “Your friends are really great, Kurt,” he says, sounding half-asleep already. “I had a lot of fun tonight…kissing random people included,” he sounds completely genuine and Kurt’s glad for it.
“Good. I think they like you, too, for what it’s worth,” he laughs and Blaine nods against his shoulder, yawning rather adorably. “We should get some sleep. It’s late, we’ve got to get to the airport tomorrow, and then…”
“Back to work,” Blaine replies, making no move to get to his feet or return to his own bedroom, and Kurt doesn’t have the heart to tell him to move when he looks so comfortable right here.
And yes, okay, he’s being selfish again, but he deserves it so he’s going to enjoy every moment Blaine gives him like this.
“Mm-hmm. Did you have a good holiday?” he asks, quietly, and Blaine’s eyes pop open as he stares up at Kurt.
“The best. Your family’s so amazing, Kurt, and I just…thank you. For letting me come with.”
“I’m glad you did,” Kurt whispers, and Blaine responds by yawning again and lying back down. “Blaine? Are you…”
But Blaine seems well and truly asleep, so Kurt sighs and reaches over him to turn the bedside lamp off, setting the alarm on his phone and shifting them so they’re under the blankets. He wraps his arms around Blaine, figuring he can play it off as accidental if he’s still there in the morning, and closes his eyes.
Just before he falls asleep he can hear Blaine mumble something that sounds suspiciously like, ‘think we should try blowjobs next…once we’re back…’ and while Kurt’s face heats up at that, he’s not going to object if Blaine brings it up again when he’s fully awake.
He’s really, really not.
XIV.
Blaine’s not sure, when they get back to New York, how to tell Kurt that his half-asleep mumblings shouldn’t be taken seriously and that he doesn’t really expect them to go into blowjobs. He’d love to, of course, because, well, there’s no way it won’t be amazing, but at the same time…there’s really no way to play it off as anything but having another guy’s dick in your mouth, and there’s nothing at all straight about that.
Which is why he doesn’t expect Kurt to come into his room after he’s done his nightly shower. Yes, it’s a Friday night, and they’re being boring by staying at home, but he’s currently sprawled on the bed wearing nothing but a pair of boxer-briefs and with his arms flung out, staring at the ceiling.
He scrambles to cover himself up when the other man comes in without knocking, but then he realizes that it doesn’t make much sense for them to be squeamish around each other anymore…not after they’ve slept together naked.
“Hey,” he sits up, crossing his legs and staring at Kurt questioningly. “Do you, um…is there…”
“You…I don’t know if you remember, but the last night we were in Lima you talked about…” Kurt stops, wringing his hands a little, before he visibly steels himself and continues. “Blowjobs. And I…I’d like to try that. If you still want to,” he adds quickly and Blaine swears that his brain shuts off for a moment because Kurt’s been fairly passive so far in their little…arrangement. Yes, he seems happy enough to partake, but he’s never really…started anything, and now…
“Kurt, we don’t have to…I mean, I’m sure that our girlfriends can figure it out by themselves, it’s kinda…”
“Gay?” Kurt arches an eyebrow and Blaine flushes a little before he nods meekly. “I know that. But, well, neither of us are exactly getting lucky in the love department right now, and so…why not? Like you said, nothing we do leaves the bedroom when we’re finished, so…” he shrugs one shoulder, looking remarkably unconcerned, and Blaine tries to adopt the same level of utter indifference.
“Yeah. You’re right. I mean, it’s gonna feel good either way, right?” he smiles and Kurt returns it after a moment, a little tentative as he moves toward the bed. “Do you want me to…”
“I’ll go first this time,” Kurt cuts him off with a wave of his hand, his eyes roving over Blaine’s body in a way that has him hardening almost instantly. “Besides, you’re already far closer to being naked.”
“True,” Blaine laughs to cover up his nerves this time, hooking his thumbs in the waistband of his underwear before he pushes them down, kicking them to the side and leaning back against the pillows as Kurt climbs on the bed.
It should feel weirder to be nude while Kurt’s still fully-dressed, but somehow it’s okay, and Kurt settles his hands on Blaine’s knees and urges his legs apart, crawling between them before bending his head. “Is this okay?”
And oh, God, the sight of Kurt like that is doing things to him that he’d rather not think about, so he nods and tries to hold in a whine when Kurt’s tongue flicks out to touch the very tip of his cock. “K-Kurt…” he groans, and Kurt looks strangely smug as he looks up at him.
“Okay?”
“Yeah. Okay,” Blaine promises with a nod, but he has a feeling this is going to be over embarrassingly quickly, especially since Kurt’s barely started. “Do you, um…I mean, have you…”
“I have an idea of how this works, but tell me if…if it feels good, okay?” Kurt gently caresses the inside of his knee and it does wonders to calm Blaine down, his body sinking into the pillows.
“Okay,” he promises, but a second later his fingers are scrabbling to find purchase on the slippery sheets because Kurt’s mouth is around him, hot and wet and tight and so much better than his hand could ever be, and when Kurt sucks a little and presses his tongue against the underside of Blaine’s erection he can’t stop the moan that slips past his lips, fingers clenching in the blankets.
He whimpers when Kurt pulls off, wanting to yank him back, but Kurt just works his jaw a little bit before saying, “You can…touch me. If you want to. My hair, I mean,” he laughs, and Blaine knows that Kurt’s pretty particular about his hair. “Just don’t…choke me, or anything.”
“I’d never,” Blaine promises, but when Kurt’s lips close around him again his hand flies to Kurt’s hair without him even realizing, tightening a little, but from the not-at-all-unpleased sound Kurt makes low in his throat he’s obviously okay with it.
Kurt moves down a little farther, taking him in a little deeper, and when he looks up at Blaine now, his lips stretched around Blaine’s cock and his eyes dark, looking somehow innocent and utterly devilish at the same time, Blaine can barely stop himself from coming right then and there. “Kurt, I…”
“Hmm?” Kurt makes a questioning noise, the vibrations shooting through Blaine’s body and he gasps as his hips buck up of their own volition, causing Kurt to throw an arm over his waist and hold him down.
“Shit, I’m sorry, I just…can you…do that again?” he asks hesitantly, but Kurt seems to understand and hums again, sliding his mouth up and down, tongue flicking and the sensations are almost overwhelming, Blaine trying desperately not to move too much even though he just really wants to fuck Kurt’s mouth but that won’t end well for either of them.
Kurt’s eyes are closed now, his free hand wrapped around the base of Blaine’s cock as he bobs his head, and Blaine can feel the familiar tightening of his muscles that tells him this is all going to be over really, really soon.
“Kurt, I…I’m gonna…if you want to…”
Kurt’s eyes snap open them and the challenge in them is undeniable. He breathes out slowly through his nose as Blaine strokes his hair, trying to calm his body down, but it only takes one more lick-suck-hum for it to be all over.
Blaine can feel Kurt holding him down as his body spasms, orgasm washing over him in a flood of sensation and hot-wet-slick-tight around his cock, and when he comes to himself again Kurt’s sitting back on his knees, looking amazed and used and he wipes his hand over the back of his mouth.
“Oh, God, I’m so sorry, I…”
“It’s fine,” Kurt sounds a little hoarse and he coughs, clearing his throat before speaking again. “Really. I…if I hadn’t wanted you to do that I would have stopped you,” he shrugs, and Blaine’s not going to think too hard of the implications of that, but now…
“Are you…um…do you want me to…return the favor?” he asks, surprised that he’s actually kind of excited about this. Really, he knows he’s 100% gay, but it’s not until now that the idea of actually going down on another guy has seemed like something he can’t live without.
“Yes. I’d…” Kurt pauses, reaching to slip his shirt over his head, and Blaine helps him get undressed and switches places with him, knowing that something’s changing between them tonight and he’s just not quite sure what it is or even if it’s good or bad.
The only thing he knows for certain is that nothing’s quite so simple anymore.
XV.
Kurt doesn’t want to freak out, but as he leans back against the pillows he realizes he’s really, really close to doing just that. He’d just given Blaine a blowjob. And not only that, he’d just let Blaine come in his mouth, and while that should mortify him a little because he doesn’t even want to think about the fact that he just swallowed ejaculate, it’s really kind of…well, hot, and he hadn’t hated it, and Blaine had been coming apart under him and he just…couldn’t stop.
But it’s okay, he reasons, because it’s really the first time he’s taken any initiative in this little…thing they’ve got going on, and Blaine’s staring up at him, hands spreading Kurt’s knees apart as he leans in.
Kurt sucks in a breath, tipping his head back and closing his eyes, a shudder going through his body as Blaine hesitantly licks at the head of his cock. It’s…different, especially when he’s only ever had fingers and hands touching him there, but he has a feeling it won’t take much for him to realize he really, really loves getting blowjobs.
“Okay?” Blaine looks up, eyes wide and long eyelashes fluttering as he stares at Kurt, and Kurt can only nod because he doesn’t trust his voice right now. “Okay,” he sounds relieved as he leans in again and slips his mouth over the head of Kurt’s cock, sucking lightly. Kurt groans and his fingers tangle in Blaine’s curls without him meaning them to; he pulls off a second later murmuring hurried apologies as Blaine shakes his head and gazes up at him once more.
“Kurt, hey, it’s cool. I mean, I don’t think I’ve got much of a gag reflex so if you want to…I’m okay with that. With…um…you know, what you did for me? I’m okay with it,” he’s blushing now and Kurt takes a moment to realize that ‘what you did for me’ really means ‘when I came in your mouth’ and if anything he gets even more aroused because of it.
He nods shakily and replaces his hands, tugging Blaine’s head down as the other boy laughed and eagerly closes his lips around Kurt’s cock again, taking him in deeper as Kurt moans and bucks his hips up.
True to his word, Blaine doesn’t even flinch, simply opens his throat and takes Kurt in as far as he can and holy fuck he wasn’t lying about having no gag reflex. “Blaine…Blaine, that’s…”
Blaine hums, probably meaning it as a question but all it does is make Kurt’s toes curl as he pulls maybe a little too hard at Blaine’s hair, the other boy whining a little at the tug although his rhythm never falters.
Kurt tries to hold out as long as he can, but with everything going on…the hot, wet tightness around his cock, the tiny flicks of Blaine’s tongue that are driving him half-mad, the fact that Blaine looks like he’s damn near thriving doing this…it’s not going to take much.
“Blaine, I’m…I’m c-close,” he finally manages to stammer and Blaine nods in apparent understanding, eyes lowering as he focuses even more intently on his task and it only takes a few more swallows before Kurt’s coming with a drawn-out moan, curling up so his hands are nearly on Blaine’s back as he bends forward and comes down the other boy’s throat.
He slumps down against the pillows once he’s spent, trying to catch his breath and with an arm thrown over his eyes to block out the world. He hears Blaine rustling about, leaving the room and then coming back in as he gently touches Kurt’s arm.
“Mm?”
“Mouthwash?” he asks, raising an eyebrow, and Kurt takes the proffered cup and swishes the minty liquid around before spitting it back, nodding his thanks as Blaine pads back to the washroom to empty the cups out. He smacks his lips, leaning back with his mind racing because…what was that?
No straight man he’s ever known would have done what Blaine just did and, what’s more, have looked almost happy to be doing it. He doesn’t want to think too much about it, because after all it’s not like he’s being entirely truthful, either…but it’s something that’s been niggling at his mind for a while now and it’s only getting more obvious as the days go by.
Which, of course, begs the question: is Blaine hiding his sexuality the same way Kurt is, or did he honestly not realize until now that he might be sexually attracted to men as well?
There’s no safe way to broach the topic, not without admitting that he’s been lying for months, so he stores the information away in the back of his bran and vows to examine it more closely later.
Blaine crawls on the bed beside him and curls in close, head on Kurt’s shoulder and an arm thrown lazily across his chest.
“…Blaine?”
“Just…stay with me tonight,” Blaine whispers into his skin, and this is really only furthering Kurt’s suspicions.
Still, sleeping with somebody is more enjoyable than sleeping alone, so he gets the covers up over them and holds Blaine close, their legs tangling under the sheets.
“Okay,” he agrees, hearing Blaine’s pleased hum in return, and he knows that sooner or later the truth has to come out, on both their parts.
He’s just not quite sure how much longer they can keep this up without breaking.
XVI.
Blaine knows as soon as he wakes up that things have gone too far, and it’s probably all his own fault in asking Kurt to stay. He’s never been that great at pretending, and after last night, well…the truth has to come out sooner or later, but it’s much sooner than he would have thought.
Kurt shifts beside him, curled up against his side, and Blaine strokes his hand over the silky skin of his shoulders and back, unwilling to stop touching especially now that he knows he might never get the chance again.
Or, he thinks with a pained smile, he might get it one last time, but that’s if Kurt will agree to the plan he’s currently coming up with. It’s a stretch, and he knows it, but it’s now or never.
“Blaine?” Kurt asks sleepily, looking up, his hair mussed and his eyes half-lidded. “Is it morning?”
“Yeah,” Blaine whispers, his fingers still trailing lightly over Kurt’s skin, and Kurt sighs heavily and doesn’t move, although the arm he’s got around Blaine tightens a little.
“We need to talk.”
“I know,” Blaine chokes back the emotion that’s building in his throat, because he’s dreading this. “But first can I…can we pretend that…I want…”
“What?” Kurt doesn’t sound angry, at least, but his eyes narrow a little and he shifts more upright. “What is it?”
“I have…one more thing I want to try. Before we end this. And I don’t…I want to do it before we talk, before this all is…” he shakes his head, unable to say anything else, and Kurt just lets him collect himself.
“Tell me,” Kurt prompts, sitting beside Blaine and leaning in a little bit. “What do you want?”
“I want you to fuck me,” Blaine’s proud of himself for not cracking through that sentence, for it coming out strong and self-assured.
“Blaine!”
He can’t tell if Kurt’s angry or shocked or annoyed, not from that, but then the other man starts to laugh, drawing his knees to his chest and chuckling into the sheets.
“Kurt, I’m serious!”
“I know,” Kurt stops laughing abruptly and just…stares at Blaine. “I do. But I don’t…why, Blaine? I’ve been trying to figure you out, and I…are you…”
“Later. Please?” Blaine knows he’s pleading but this is exactly the conversation he’s trying to put off. “Can we just…pretend that this is normal, and do this, and then…then I promise I’ll answer any questions you have and explain everything, okay?” he reaches for Kurt’s hand without meaning to, squeezing it and feeling more comforted when Kurt squeezes back.
“Okay. I’m not…entirely happy about this, but okay. You’re sure that…” Kurt’s blushing now, his cheeks flushed red, and Blaine has to hide his smile because it’s really adorable. “Have you ever…”
“With my fingers, yeah,” Blaine reaches over and digs a bottle of lube out of the nightstand. “So I could…prep myself, if you wanted, or you could…”
“You do it,” Kurt says instantly. “I’m going to, um, splash some water on my face and just…I need a minute. I’ll come back,” he promises, resting his hand on Blaine’s knee for a moment as if it was a promise of some sort before he scurries off the bed and tugs his underwear back on, rushing out of the room.
Blaine isn’t going to worry about whether or not Kurt’s going to come back, because he trusts that he will, and he uncaps the lube and sighs, trying to relax his body enough that he can do this.
He hasn’t for a while but it’s not entirely foreign to him, and yes, he’s used…toys before, so Kurt shouldn’t hurt him as long as he preps himself enough, and he forces his brain to shut down and focuses on fingering himself, breathing out slowly and letting his body relax as he waits for Kurt to come back.
He’s three fingers in when Kurt sneaks back in, face red and eyes averted, but when he raises his gaze he squeaks and his mouth drops open. “You…um…”
And Blaine gulps and feels himself flush because wow, if he’d thought doing this alone was overwhelming doing it with Kurt watching, his eyes growing ever wider, was almost too much and he turns his head to the side and slips his fingers out of his body, wrinkling his nose before wiping them on the sheets. “I’m ready. If you are.”
“O-okay,” Kurt pads over carefully, kneeling on the bed and spreading some lube onto his own hand as he strokes himself, and even though the situation's more than a little weird for both of them Blaine’s impressed by how quickly he gets himself aroused. “Do we…um…condom?”
“I don’t…have any,” Blaine swallows, because no, they are doing this, and he’s not letting that stop him because he knows they’re both clean. “Besides, we…”
“Not…I know it’s safe, I just…you know. Messy. And do you really want to walk around with my…” he gestures and Blaine knows what he means, and he knows he’d freak Kurt out forever if he tells him that yes, he really wants Kurt to come inside of him with nothing but skin between them.
“It’s okay. I’ll manage,” Blaine huffs a laugh. “How do…should I be on my knees so you don’t have to…look at me?” he says it quietly, because he’s sure that Kurt would rather not lose his virginity with him, but Kurt surprises him by shaking his head.
“No. I mean…yes, this is strange, but…we’re not strangers, and it would just be awkward to pretend that we’re…that this is anything but what it actually is. So…” he shrugs and Blaine gives him a quick, grateful smile before pulling a pillow under his hips. “Are you…you sure you’re ready?” Kurt looks at him and bites his lower lip, seeming not to know if it’s okay to stare or if he should be looking somewhere else.
“I’m fine, Kurt. I’ll be…I’ll be fine,” Blaine promises, reaching for Kurt’s hand and squeezing it softly. “Just…please. Fuck me.”
“Okay,” Kurt lets out a long, slow breath before he moves closer, lifting Blaine’s legs up so they’re wrapped around his body and leaning in. Blaine shivers when he feels the head of Kurt’s cock press against his entrance and forces himself to relax. “I’m going to…I’m moving now,” Kurt says quickly, pushing forward as Blaine groans and scrunches his eyes closed because, yeah, Kurt’s definitely not tiny and he’s bigger than anything Blaine’s had inside of him before.
His hands have wrapped around Kurt’s neck before he realizes what he’s doing, holding on so tightly as he tries to get used to the stretch. “Keep going,” he gasps when Kurt stops for a moment, presumably to check if he’s still okay. “It’s…it’s worse when you stop and start, so please, keep…”
“Okay,” Kurt does, pressing forward inch by inch until he’s fully inside, and Blaine whimpers at the shocking fullness and the strange feeling of something being there when he’s not used to it. “Does it hurt?” Kurt’s brow is beaded with sweat, his arms shaking a little. “You’re so tight, fuck, I feel like you have to be in pain…”
“I’m not,” Blaine assures him, because it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as he’d feared it would. “It’s different, but I’m okay. I’m okay, Kurt,” he promises, reaching to brush Kurt’s hair back. “Can you, um…if you want to move, I’d be okay with that,” he says and holds on tighter as Kurt pulls out a little before pressing in again. “Fuck,” he gasps, throwing his head back and rocking his hips into it.
“Is that okay?” Kurt asks, sounding almost terrified, and Blaine moves to stroke his hair again, trying to keep him calm because he really hadn’t thought Kurt would be freaking out more than he is right now.
“It’s great,” Blaine promises. “Really, Kurt, if you hurt me I’ll tell you, but it just…feels really good,” he sighs as Kurt thrusts in again, and each time the slight sting of pain and the initial strangeness fades until it really does feel good. He tries to arch his hips up more and Kurt grabs his thighs and hoists Blaine’s legs over his shoulders, bending him almost in half as he leans closer.
The next snap of his hips brushes against Blaine’s prostate and he muffles his yell in Kurt’s shoulder, fingers tightening on the other man’s skin. “Kurt, please, keep…right there, faster, I need…” he knows he’s babbling but everything is just so much right now and it’s overwhelming him in the best way possible.
Kurt nods against him and moves his hips faster, and all Blaine can do is hang on and keep breathing through it. “Blaine, I can’t…I’m sorry, you’re just…really tight and I’m close, I…”
“It’s okay. You can…you can come,” Blaine whispers, because he knew the first time wouldn’t last that long, and Kurt shivers under his hands and he can feel him orgasm which is some strange combination of really weird and really hot and really messy, and he whines into Kurt’s neck as the other man finds enough strength to wrap a hand around his cock and jerk him off clumsily.
It only takes a few strokes before Blaine’s coming, streaks of it hitting his stomach and Kurt’s chest where they’re pressed together, and Kurt nearly collapses on top of him as they both lay there panting. It’s too hot now, too sticky and too stifling and a little painful and so, so perfect that Blaine just wants to bask in it before the real world comes crashing back in and takes it all away from him forever.
Kurt shifts enough so that he slides out, the sound a little unpleasant and Blaine wrinkles his nose at the feeling and knows he’ll need to shower before they do anything else but he can’t move right now.
“Blaine…” Kurt whispers and Blaine shakes his head stubbornly, feeling his eyes tear up as he pulls Kurt onto his chest and holds him there. “Okay,” Kurt sighs in resignation but he wraps his arms around Blaine and closes his eyes.
If this is all Blaine ever gets, if he can pretend that he and Kurt are real lovers for even five minutes, that’s enough.
Because it’s all he’ll ever have.
XVII.
Kurt’s sitting on his bed in a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt from his dad’s garage when Blaine comes in from his shower, wearing a bathrobe and his hair unstyled. He sits down beside Kurt, not close enough to touch, and draws his knees up to his chest in a pose that’s more defensive than anything and Kurt momentarily feels guilty that Blaine seems to think he has to defend himself from Kurt.
Kurt, for his part, is not thinking too hard about the fact that he’s just…well, gone all the way for the first time. It had been…strange, yes, but that was inevitable, but it had felt incredible and he was inwardly glad that Blaine trusted him enough for something so huge.
“So,” he clears his throat when it becomes obvious Blaine’s not going to speak first. “Are you…what? In the closet? You thought you were straight but fooling around with me has shown you otherwise?” he tries to break the tension and Blaine barks a short, bitter laugh.
“God, no. I’m gay. I…had a very, very short phase when I was fifteen or sixteen when I thought I might be bisexual, but that was taken care of by actually trying to date a girl and not feeling much of anything. My friends all know, but I just…” he pauses and Kurt immediately feels guilty for ever judging him because, well, Blaine’s story is eerily similar to his own so far.
Except for the dating girls part. Even when he’d try to play straight for his dad’s benefit, he’d always known.
“When I was in freshman year, my school had a Sadie Hawkins dance, and I went with a friend. He was gay, but we weren’t dating, and neither of us were really out at the time. We were…waiting to get picked up after the dance when these guys showed up and…beat the crap out of us. Not because we were doing anything more than standing and not touching, but just because they thought we were together. I was in the hospital for a while,” he finishes in a whisper, looking down at his hands, and Kurt feels a pang in his chest because he never could have imagined.
Yes, he’d had trouble, but never to the extent that he was badly injured enough that he needed medical attention. “Blaine, I…”
“It’s okay,” Blaine sniffs and looks up to meet Kurt’s eyes. “Anyway, that’s how I came out to my parents, and they…I think they accept that I’m gay, but that doesn’t mean they really understand it or know how to react to me talking about guys, so it’s…hard at home because there’s nobody that really gets me and my brother’s great about it, but he’s so much older and he lives in LA so it’s not like he was around much to help out,” he shrugs, not seeming bitter about any of it, and Kurt has to admire that. “After that they thought it was too dangerous to stay at public school anymore so they got me enrolled at Dalton, and that’s…that’s it. As far as past boyfriends there’s…not much to tell. I mean, there was one guy, but it never went farther than kissing because he was kind of a jerk,” Blaine sighs and curls in on himself even more, not looking at Kurt any longer.
“So why did you hide here?” Kurt reaches to touch Blaine’s knee, trying to let him know it was okay.
“Just…you know, Dalton had a no-bullying policy, and I knew that I wouldn’t be nearly as sheltered out here in the real world and I just…didn’t want any trouble, and I’ve been told I can pass for straight so I thought that it would just make it easier on me if I pretended that I really was,” he laughs and looks down, biting his lip. “I guess, when it came to you, my acting was pretty terrible, huh?”
“Just a little,” Kurt admits with a tiny chuckle as he pats Blaine’s leg. “But I’m not angry with you, Blaine. It would be…a little hypocritical, seeing as how my story is…remarkably similar to yours,” he takes a deep breath and sees Blaine’s hazel eyes widen, his mouth falling open.
“You mean…you’re really…but you seemed…”
“Maybe I’m a better actor, but honestly, I think the world knew I was gay before I made the connection for myself. My…I’ve been toning down my wardrobe and trying to speak a little lower since I’ve been here but in high school my style was…unique, to say the least, and people knew I liked boys before I ever came out to anybody. My dad was great about it, but the school…” he wrinkles his nose because it’s not the most pleasant memory to relive, but Blaine’s done his part and Kurt owes it to him to be truthful as well.
Blaine flips his hand on top of Kurt’s and squeezes his fingers, and Kurt’s grateful for the contact right now.
“Well, I was the only out kid at my school for a long time, and this one jock…made my life a living Hell. Shoving me around, calling me names, throwing slushies at me…” he ignores Blaine’s appalled look at that but he’d gotten so used to having the frozen, sticky drink thrown in his face that he’d forgotten most high schools probably didn’t have to put up with that. “About halfway through junior year I’d reached my breaking point and confronted him in the locker room and he…kissed me, and threatened to kill me if I told anybody,” he swallows, the memory bringing back the fear and revulsion and utter defeat he’d felt in that moment, and Blaine rubs his thumb over the back of Kurt’s hand. “I…the truth came out, eventually, just…that he was threatening me, and he’s…he’s not a bad guy, he was just afraid of his reputation, and at the end of the year he transferred out and that was that,” he shrugs, because it’s all in the past now.
“But that’s not…I mean, that isn’t the reason I’m hiding now…and this is going to be really embarrassing to admit, but…okay, I used to have the biggest crush on Finn. So big that I set our parents up and tried to get them to move in together right away, and our house at the time only had two bedrooms so Finn needed to share with me and I…came on too strong and freaked him out and he was already kind of shaken up by the fact that his life was changing so fast without him having any say, so he…blew up at me,” Kurt bites his lip, because that memory’s still a little raw too even though he knows he was mostly at fault for how he acted.
“So that’s…at Thanksgiving…” Blaine’s brow furrows and Kurt nods.
“That’s why I had to shut Puck up, because he was going to bring up how back then I would have given anything to kiss Finn. I mean, we made up, and everything turned out okay, and now I just…see him as a brother, but having gone through that with one roommate I didn’t want to take the chance whoever I got here was some homophobic asshole who’d be worried I was going to, I don’t know, molest them in their sleep so hiding my sexuality seemed like the best way to go,” he laces his fingers with Blaine’s and smiles at him. “But I’ve never hidden it among my friends, and I’m not…I mean, obviously I don’t have to hide it now.”
“Obviously,” Blaine’s still rubbing Kurt’s fingers with his own, almost unaware that he’s doing so, and Kurt shifts closer because he just…needs to be near the other boy right now. “So what does that mean? We’re both gay, we’ve both been lying about it, we both…I mean, I like you. A lot. I’m not even going to try and pretend that I don’t anymore,” he sighs.
“I like you, too. I never would have agreed to all of this if I didn’t, Blaine,” Kurt assures him, keeping his voice gentle as he speaks. “And I don’t…this isn’t exactly conventional, but seeing as how we both are attracted to each other and we’ve both…kind of…made it past the awkward stage of a relationship by literally jumping in head-first, do you think…” he stops, because asking Blaine to be his boyfriend now seems more than a little strange, but Blaine’s smiling at him like he’s just offered him the world and it makes something in his stomach flip pleasantly.
“Yes. I mean…if you’re asking…yes,” Blaine looks giddy, his entire body vibrating as he leans closer and cups his hand to Kurt’s cheek. “Can I…can I kiss you?”
So Kurt lets his arms drape around Blaine’s neck and smiles, and he knows that it’s answer enough.
XVIII.
They decide not to tell anybody right away. This is still new to them, after all, and they’re learning to navigate being with each other as boyfriends as opposed to close friends who fool around, and Blaine thinks it’s infinitely better this way. There’s a lot of exploration, now that they both feel allowed to, a lot of touching and kissing and getting used to the joy of being in love with your best friend.
Because he’s not sure yet if Kurt’s there, or if he’s getting ahead of himself, but it feels like love and he’s going to bask in it as long as he can.
-
“Do you want to come back to my place for Christmas?” Kurt asks him a couple of weeks later, the early December sunlight weakly streaming through the curtains as Blaine lifts his head off the other man’s chest and squints at him. “I mean, I know Rachel or somebody’s going to have a New Year’s party and, well, I think it’ll be a lot more fun now that we’re…you know, admitting everything,” he laughs and lets his hand rest on Blaine’s back.
“I’d love to. Christmas at the Anderson Household is always stuffy and not very festive, so it’ll be…nice to spend it somewhere that is,” Blaine snuggles closer, because honestly they don’t really need two bedrooms anymore, and he’s half-asleep when he feels Kurt nudging something into his hand and looks at the bottle of lubricant Kurt’s passed him.
“You know what else is nice?” Kurt raises an eyebrow and Blaine grins, because he knows exactly what Kurt’s talking about.
-
The semester winds to a close, final projects and exams done for the time being, and it feels too quick that they’re back on a plane to Ohio with Quinn and Rachel, the girls giving them suspicious glances as they sit too close on the plane, heads bent together and laughing at the most mundane things, but they’d agreed to wait a little longer to reveal everything.
Of course, it doesn’t work around Finn, but that’s mostly because it’ll be impossible to hide while they’re staying in the same house and his response is to clap Blaine on the back so hard he nearly falls over.
But Blaine figures that means he approves, and he’s grateful for it. He thinks they almost give Burt a second heart attack when Kurt marches into the house and announces with no preamble that they don’t need to fix up the guest room because Blaine will be staying with him.
To his credit, though, the older man simply sighs and tells Kurt that he and Carole have the courtesy to not let them know when they’re doing things, so if Kurt and Blaine would do the same that would be nice of them.
Kurt looks ill at the mention of his father and Carole being intimate, but he quickly shakes it off and grabs Blaine’s hand as they rush to his room like giddy teenagers.
Which, Blaine thinks as he all but falls on top of Kurt on the bed, they kind of still are.
-
Christmas is as wonderful as he’s always thought it could be, full of laughter and joy and love, and when he completely slips up and whispers it in the afterglow a couple of days before New Year’s all he gets in return is a hushed laugh and a low, “do you really think I don’t feel the same?” that makes him jump on Kurt again and leaves them both completely exhausted the next day.
But then, since there’s nothing to do but laze around and watch movies and drink hot chocolate anyway, maybe it doesn’t really matter all that much.
-
Rachel’s party is as raucous as ever, the television tuned loudly to the ball drop back in New York, and Kurt’s arm is a steady weight around his hip as they hold their glasses of champagne Puck had managed to snag and wait for the countdown to begin.
When the clock reaches midnight exactly, they kiss, a little longer and more drawn-out than it should be but neither of them have ever had a New Year’s kiss before and they don’t break apart until a rather shrilly obnoxious wolf-whistle startles them out of it.
Everybody’s staring at them, although nobody seems the least bit surprised, and Santana rolls her eyes and drunkenly exclaims, “fucking finally!” and that’s about all it takes for them to go back to kissing like there’s no tomorrow.
Except there will be. Plenty of them. And when Kurt pulls away to rest his head on Blaine’s shoulder and whisper, “Happy New Year, Blaine,” Blaine can only nod and hold him close and agree.
Because he has a feeling it’s going to be the first of many happy new years to come.
Notes:
-This was a lot of fun to write, and I hope you all enjoyed reading it! Comments are always loved and appreciated :) I'm not sure what my next project will be, maybe another prompt from the GKM just because I've had such writer's block lately that I need prompts to get me started, but we'll see!
Also, a PDF of the fic can be found Here!
And for anybody wondering, I do in fact have a tumblr, and currently I am here!
Author: AoiTsukikage
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairing: Klaine
Chapters: 18/18
Word Count: ~20,700
Spoilers: Nothing specific
Summary: Written for a GKM prompt. Blaine and Kurt meet in college when they share a dorm room together. Both of them are hiding their sexuality, but since neither is getting any action elsewhere, they enter into a friends-with-benefits type of relationship. Eventually it goes a little too far to be just ‘bros helping bros’ and the truth has to come out.
X.
For his part, Kurt can’t believe this is happening. All of it seems like some sort of strange fever-dream, and he has to remind himself that it’s real, and Blaine’s really here and naked and the slide of their skin together is almost intoxicating. It’s so much, and so much more than he’d ever thought he’d get so soon, and he’s trying really hard to stay calm but Blaine’s just so…comfortable with all of this that he’s trying to open up a little bit more.
Blaine’s lips against his shoulder make him shiver, make his cock twitch against his thigh, but he has to focus on Blaine now so he tries to ignore his own suddenly-there teenaged libido and strokes Blaine a little more firmly, his hand shaking.
Blaine’s cock is almost a comforting weight in his palm, warm and smooth and yes, he’ll admit, impressive. He knows he’s not small by any means, but Blaine’s quite a few inches shorter than he is and Kurt’s hard-pressed to see the difference between them…down there.
Which is fine by him. Blaine’s entirely too gorgeous for his own good, his body stunningly perfect and Kurt just feels awkward, because he’s all legs and too pale and with an annoying bit of baby fat on his stomach that just never seems to go away no matter what he does, but Blaine’s not making him feel inadequate or judged at all and that’s…helping quite a lot, really.
“Kurt, please,” Blaine groans against his neck and Kurt realizes that he’s gotten lost in thought, his hand just sort of loosely holding Blaine’s erection, so he starts stroking a little faster, reaching a hand behind Blaine’s head to tangle in his hair and pull him in closer.
“It’s okay,” he whispers and hears Blaine sigh against his skin before he starts sucking, and oh, God, this is probably against every rule they’d made for their little arrangement but at least it was November and he wears enough scarves on a regular basis that it won’t look strange.
Still, he doesn’t relish the thought of explaining to his family why he’s got a hickey, even though what Blaine’s doing feels so amazing he doesn’t want him to stop. “Kurt,” Blaine begs again, almost pleading and it’s really, really hot when he does that so Kurt takes pity on him and twists his wrist a little.
He’s not really experienced in doing this…yes, he’s a teenage boy, and he’s had urges that he couldn’t help but give into, but he knows that he’s not jerking off nearly as often as most other guys his age (or at least the ones he’d gone to school with) so he hopes that what he’s doing is good enough.
It seems to be, from the way Blaine’s softly groaning and clutching at him, mouth still working against Kurt’s neck as Kurt slides his thumb over the head of Blaine’s cock, drawing a surprised gasp from the smaller boy.
“Feel good?” he asks, just to be sure, and Blaine nods shakily and pushes his hips upward.
“Yes, just…faster. Please. I need to come,” he says it like he’s almost ashamed of that fact but Kurt obliges, his hand working with more intensity as he strokes rapidly. “Oh fuck, Kurt, I can’t…”
“It’s okay,” Kurt promises, swallowing loudly and feeling Blaine’s whole body tense up as he tries to keep his orgasm at bay. “It’s…it’s okay, if you need to…come for me. I want you to,” his voice drops without him even meaning to do that, coming out low and sultry, and Blaine bites down on his shoulder as he comes, entire body shaking with it and his hands scrabbling at Kurt’s back.
Kurt closes his eyes against the sharp stab of pain, really not expecting Blaine to have done that and he so does not have a biting kink but it’s…good, and it keeps him grounded as he strokes Blaine through his orgasm, the other boy boneless and shuddering as he slumps against him.
“Holy fuck, Kurt…” Blaine murmurs, closing his eyes and snuggling against Kurt’s shoulder, and Kurt absently reaches to brush some wayward curls off of Blaine’s forehead because he figures that in the afterglow he can maybe get away with a little bit more.
“Mm. Sticky,” Kurt decides, reluctantly peeling himself away from Blaine and heading into the washroom to wet a cloth. He cleans himself up first before rinsing it and bringing it back, wiping off Blaine’s stomach when the other boy seems too exhausted to do it himself. “Okay?”
“Yeah. Really, really okay,” Blaine grins dopily at him and Kurt smacks his arm lightly, smiling fondly as he throws the cloth into the bathtub and starts to search for his clothes. “What’re you doing?”
“Going to bed,” Kurt replies briskly, even though his entire body is screaming at him to cuddle with Blaine and fall asleep in his arms.
He can’t, and he knows that, and this is getting weird enough without all of these added feelings coming into play.
Especially when Blaine can never return them.
“I have to get up early to help Carole with dinner,” he explains as he starts to pull on his underwear and Blaine makes a sleepy noise of protest.
“Stay,” Blaine looks so earnest, his eyes sleep-hazed but still wide and pleading, and Kurt’s mind is screaming at him to get away from there because he’s going to blow his cover.
But…
It’s Blaine. And he can’t. And this is only going to end in heartbreak, but he deserves to be happy for now even if it’s only one-sided.
“Okay. Just for a little bit,” he concedes, and Blaine smiles lazily before shoving himself under the covers, Kurt joining him and gasping in surprise when Blaine slings an arm over his stomach and cuddles up to his back. “Blaine?”
“Mm-hmm?”
“This is…really gay. Like, really gay,” he says cautiously and Blaine smacks his lips and presses them to Kurt’s shoulder again.
“You’re warm. I’m tired. Go to sleep, Kurt,” Blaine murmurs, already halfway there himself, and Kurt tells himself that he’ll get up early in the morning so his father and Carole and Finn won’t suspect anything.
It’s still so wrong.
But he just can’t bring himself to really care.
XI.
Blaine wakes up with a start, his hips rolling lazily forward and he scrambles back before he can even register why exactly he’s in bed with somebody else. Naked in bed with somebody else, he remembers suddenly, and he doubts Kurt will be happy to have his morning wood snugged up against him. Blaine sighs and sits up a little, glancing over at the clock. 6:00 in the morning. Good.
“Kurt,” he whispers, taking those last few moments to stay close because he doubts Kurt will ever want to repeat this. And really, he shouldn’t be repeating it because Kurt’s going to be questioning whether Blaine’s really as straight as he says he is pretty soon if he does.
Kurt hums and finally opens his eyes, stretching a bit and looking over at the night-table. “ ‘s early,” he mumbles, still at least half-asleep, and he turns around and tucks his head under Blaine’s chin.
Blaine’s freaking out, because fuck, this is every wet dream he’s ever had come true, but he’s so close to blowing his cover already and that can’t happen. Not when he’s in a strange town, in a strange house, miles away from anybody that can come get him if things get ugly. “Kurt, hey, we fell asleep last night…you need to get up…”
“Mmwha?” Kurt slurs, finally opening his eyes and blinking before he realizes the position they’re in. Blaine looks for some sort of horror to pass over his face but he looks…surprised, and a little embarrassed, but certainly not mortified. “Oh. Well. I should…” he rolls away from Blaine and stands up, quickly getting dressed and running a hand through his hair before he heads for the door. “Get some more sleep, Blaine. I’ll see you in a couple of hours,” he lifts one hand in a wave before leaving, and Blaine flops back on the bed and tries not to think about how badly that could have gone.
-
Breakfast is a casual affair, a quick, “grab whatever you want!” from Carole greeting him as he enters the kitchen, and he takes a banana and a croissant from the bowl on the table before retreating to the living room, sitting beside Finn on the couch.
“Yeah, it’s better to just leave ‘em be, dude,” Finn grins at him and gestures to the TV. “You like football?”
“Love it,” Blaine admits, and Finn shoots him a grin and turns the game on, both of them eating in silence (although admittedly Finn eats about three times as much as he does) before he turns to Blaine and Blaine gets inexplicably nervous.
“Kurt hates football,” he says conversationally. “Which is weird, ‘cuz he was on the team for a bit, but I don’t think he really cares about the rules or anything,” he laughs as Kurt sweeps into the room and levels a glare at him, grabbing their dishes before he’s rushing back into the kitchen.
“Kurt played football? I mean, he told me about Glee Club, but…”
“Yeah, for a bit,” Finn leans forward to turn the volume down on the TV before half-turning toward Blaine. “Look, dude, Kurt’s…he doesn’t let people in real easy, so the fact that he likes you enough to invite you here for a family holiday? That’s huge. And I trust him, so I know you’re a good guy, but I still don’t wanna say too much because he should tell you his own story, right?” Finn’s brow is furrowed as he searches for what he’s going to say next. “Okay. Um, well, he was really tiny back in like sophomore year, and his voice has always been kinda high so some of the jocks gave him crap for it. I mean, once we all joined Glee Club and especially after our parents got married I’ve been trying to look out for him, but sometimes I…I couldn’t, and that was my own fault,” Finn looks guilty and Blaine’s not going to press, not this time.
“And…”
“Oh! Yeah, so one day he asked me to help him get on the football team because it would make his dad happy, so he and I practiced for a bit and he ended up being the kicker. Won us our only winning game of the season,” he laughs and shrugs. “I mean, he didn’t stay long, once he had to choose between football and Glee Club it was pretty easy for him to quit, and then the next summer he hit his growth spurt and after all of us in the Club started lookin’ out for him he really didn’t need to pretend to be into sports anymore, so…” he finishes and leans back, and Blaine bites his lip and turns his face away.
He’d guessed that Kurt wouldn’t have had it easy, even being straight, because people would assume things from his voice and the way he dressed and the way he carried himself, but maybe both of them have some demons in their past they still need to let go of.
“Well, I’m glad he’s letting me be his friend. He’s…really great,” Blaine knows it’s lame, but Finn claps him on the shoulder anyway and turns back to the TV, so Blaine settles in to watch and tries not to think about anything other than football.
It doesn’t really work, because Kurt seems to be on his mind all the time, but maybe he can pretend for a few more hours that he’s not falling for his straight roommate.
XII.
By the time Friday night comes around, Kurt’s feeling more relaxed and more like himself after a day shopping with his girls. He doesn’t have to hide around them, and even though he also couldn’t hide how he really felt about Blaine from Tina and Mercedes, he knows both of them will keep their mouths shut.
The night ends with Finn trying to get information out of him about whether he likes Blaine or not, and even though his stepbrother is being stupidly persistent Kurt can tell that he would be okay with it if he and Blaine were dating and that’s a good feeling (even though he knows it’ll never happen).
He eventually shoos Finn from his room and lies back on his bed, determined to stay upstairs tonight. Last night had been…incredible, certainly, and sleeping naked in Blaine’s arms was something he’d dearly love to repeat, but it’s far too dangerous and he’s already worried enough about tomorrow night.
Tomorrow night. The party at Rachel’s because her dads had to leave in the morning for some reason so Puck’s bringing the alcohol and they’re going to have, in Rachel’s words, a ‘full New Directions reunion, Kurt, and of course you can bring Blaine!’ so now he has to count on all of his friends remembering that Blaine doesn’t know he’s gay.
And it’s hard enough for them to remember things sober, much less completely trashed, so he’s fully expecting his secret to be out by the time tomorrow’s over and he’s not sure what he can do to prevent that.
-
“Shove over, Hobbit,” is what greets Blaine as he’s sitting on the couch downstairs at Rachel’s place. The party is in full swing and he’s got a can of beer in his hand, determined not to get plastered like the last time he’d been at a party, but he obediently moves and the girl plops down beside him.
Santana, he remembers, and she’s pretty in a really fierce way and her entire being radiates confidence and self-assuredness in a way he’s never quite been able to pull off outside of being on stage. “Did you…need to talk to me?”
“Cut the crap, Frodo,” she replies, crossing her legs primly and staring at him with dark eyes. “You’re queer as a three-dollar bill and I don’t know why you’re hiding it. Kurt’s not going to judge you,” she sniffs and Blaine pales immediately, the room spinning and he knows it’s not from the alcohol and oh, God, she’s going to tell Kurt and… “Hey, hey!” she snaps her fingers in front of his face and he turns to her quickly, swallowing. “Don’t look so scared. I’m not going to out you; that happened to me, and it sucks,” she shrugs and Blaine gets it and nods. “I notice you’re not denying it, though, which is good because my gaydar is totally accurate and I know, okay?”
“Okay,” he squeaks out. “And I…I can’t tell Kurt. I want to, I know that he’d be…be okay with it, but I can’t,” he doesn’t elaborate and thankfully she doesn’t ask, but she leans back and sighs.
“Look. Kurt’s…special, okay? And I can tell you like him.”
“I don’t…”
“You’ve been staring at him since we got here. You want what Hummel’s got, and I don’t blame you, but you’re never going to get your chance unless you tell him,” she makes it sound so simple and Blaine’s not about to tell her that he’s already getting his chance, although maybe not in the way he’d like.
“He’s straight, Santana,” he protests and he can see Santana roll her eyes and wonders what that’s about before she turns to him and taps her fingers on his knee.
“Let me tell you a story, Hobbit. Back in sophomore year I slept with pretty much every guy in the school. Sex? Yeah, it felt good, but it meant nothing. And then Brittany and I started fooling around,” she gestures to a blonde girl who’s hanging off of Kurt’s neck and talking about…unicorns, apparently. He can see a softness in Santana’s eyes when she looks at the other girl and he immediately knows that there’s something there. “Brittany and I…we were both hot, we were both cheerleaders, we both decided one day that fooling around would be a good idea. So we did. And by the middle of junior year, we were still fooling around and I was starting to think that maybe I was bisexual. But the more and more I was with Brittany, the more I realized that sex with her didn’t just mean more because she was my best friend, but because she was a girl, and by the time senior year came around? Lesbian,” she points to herself.
“That’s…I mean, that’s great that you figured it out, Santana, but I don’t see what it has to do with…”
“Point is, pretty pony, that sexuality isn’t a straight line. It’s fluid. Sure, Hummel’s made out with girls before…with Brittany, actually…but that doesn’t mean he’s straight. I mean, has he ever been interested in finding a girlfriend at college yet?” she turns to him, her gaze piercing, and he knows he’s caught.
“Well, no, but…”
“But nothing. Take a chance. You might be surprised,” she pats his arm before winking at him and standing up, pulling down her skintight mini-dress before she heads off to talk to Brittany.
Blaine knows he can’t take her advice, because that would mean admitting he’s been lying to Kurt and enjoying their ‘bro-sessions’ much more than he’s been pretending to, but the thought that Kurt might not be entirely straight?
Yeah, it’s a nice one.
-
Eventually a highly intoxicated Rachel screeches about ‘Spin the Bottle!’ and Blaine is roped into playing, sitting between Kurt and Santana (both of whom still seem relatively sober compared to some of the others) and watching as the rules are laid out (“it doesn’t matter who you land on, you’re kissing them, we’re all friends here!”) before the game starts.
It’s fun, in a way, just to be carefree and not worry about sexuality or boys and girls or anything, just a bunch of teenagers having fun, since Dalton was always pretty stuffy and they never really had the chance to let loose like this.
He ends up kissing both Rachel and Santana, and it’s fine enough although Rachel is so far gone that her mouth almost misses his when she tries to go in and she ends up falling on top of him, cackling manically until Santana heaves her off and pushes her back across the circle.
The only real bit of awkwardness comes when Finn tries to point out that ‘relatives shouldn’t have to kiss, that’s practically incest!’ when the bottle lands on Kurt, but he’s quickly overruled by another boy sporting a Mohawk (Puck, if he remembers Kurt’s introductions) who’s grinning rather evilly and says,
“Dude, you and Kurt aren’t even real brothers, and besides…if this was back in sophomore year, Kurt would be…”
Blaine doesn’t get to find out what Kurt would have done back then because the boy in question scrambles across the circle and smacks his lips to Finn’s for barely even half a second, sliding back and glaring at Puck who looks properly abashed.
Finn doesn’t look all that traumatized, though, and he just shrugs and goes back to drinking his beer as Kurt brushes his shoulder against Blaine’s and heaves what sounds like a sigh of relief.
And now Blaine’s really confused, because it’s not like anything like that could have happened with Finn and Kurt before, but Santana’s smirking like the cat that’s got the cream but he tries to put it out of his mind and focus on the fact that Kurt’s spinning now, and as the bottle slows down he starts to get a Very Bad Feeling.
A feeling that’s only complicated by the fact that, of course, the bottle’s pointing straight to him, and he looks up and sees Kurt looking at him in a mixture of fear and shock while Santana, who’s literally turning into the devil on his shoulder, leans forward and whispers, “Go get him.”
And Blaine knows he really doesn’t have a choice.
XIII.
Kurt almost groans at the predictability of it all. He’d just managed to avert a near crisis (he should have known somebody would inadvertently almost out him, and while he was betting on Brittany initially, he quickly realized that nobody except those close to her would have any idea what she meant when she talked about unicorns and dolphins so he was probably safe there. But trust Puck to bring up his old crush on Finn and nearly ruin everything) and even though, yes, four years ago kissing Finn would have been something really high on his list, it wasn’t as if it had been earth-shattering now considering the circumstances.
Plus he does kind of see Finn more as a brother now than anything, so it’s best to leave it at that. But of course, of course his spin would land on Blaine, and from the look on Blaine’s face, he’s not ready to do this either.
Still, it’ll look far more suspicious to back out, and he sighs and turns to his side, smiling apologetically at the shorter man.
“With tongue!” Santana shouts from Blaine’s other side, her words dissolving into a cackle, and Kurt rolls his eyes.
“You can’t change the rules, Satan.”
“I just did, Hummel,” she retorts, looking around the circle. “Anybody object?”
There’s silence from everybody else, and Kurt glares at the circle at large although most of the girls at least look excited for him and dear God, do they all know he’s got a raging crush on Blaine?
“Blaine, we don’t have to…” he starts but Blaine shakes his head and cuts him off.
“No. It wouldn’t be cool of us to back out now, and it’s not really a big deal, right?” he raises one eyebrow slightly and Kurt nods, telling himself that he has to look at it that way, too.
“Right,” he scoots closer and reaches to place his hand on Blaine’s face, tilting his chin up. He can feel the other boy’s breath stutter and his eyes half-close for a moment before he leans in, his own arms draping over Kurt’s shoulders and pulling him closer.
They sit there for a matter of seconds, breathing each other’s air and staring into each other’s eyes, before Kurt realizes that he’s once again kissing somebody that doesn’t love him back and he really needs to stop that, but it’s too late and Blaine’s lips are already on his.
He can tell that Blaine hasn’t had much experience (not that he’s one to talk, obviously), but he’s sure and firm, pressing against Kurt’s lips without any hesitation and when he flicks his tongue against them, seeking entrance, Kurt can barely muster the muscle memory to open his mouth.
And then he does, and the surprised little moan he lets out when Blaine’s tongue brushes against his causes more cackling from Santana. He chooses to ignore her, holding Blaine’s face with both hands now and trying to imagine that it’s just them, that Blaine feels the same way he does, and that nobody’s going to interrupt them or let reality come crashing back in, because this?
Even if Blaine’s straight, even if it means nothing to him, Kurt’s definitely counting this as his first real kiss.
Blaine pulls back far too soon for his liking, his lips kiss-swollen and his eyes a little glazed, and Kurt quickly lets go of his face and moves back, cheeks burning as he wraps his arms around his knees and stares at the floor. He can feel Blaine shifting beside him, clearing his throat.
“Was that good enough?” the other boy asks and Santana must approve because the next thing Kurt knows the bottle is spinning again, and he’s just grateful that it doesn’t land on him for the rest of the evening.
-
“Are you mad?” Blaine knocks at his bedroom door later that night, both of them obviously tired and Kurt really doesn’t want to fly back tomorrow but it’s not like he has any choice.
“At you? No. At Santana? That’s…debatable,” he decides, sitting up and motioning Blaine over, and the other boy sits beside him, closed off and drawn in until Kurt rests a hand on his knee.
“Blaine, I know that…this whole friends with benefits thing doesn’t mean anything, but I am here for you if you need anything. I’m not afraid I’m going to, you know, suddenly become gay because I’m touching another boy,” he promises with a tiny smile, and if part of it is because he also wants Blaine to hold him, that doesn’t really matter.
Blaine huffs out a tiny laugh and moves sideways, letting his head dip to rest on Kurt’s shoulder and turning into his body. “Your friends are really great, Kurt,” he says, sounding half-asleep already. “I had a lot of fun tonight…kissing random people included,” he sounds completely genuine and Kurt’s glad for it.
“Good. I think they like you, too, for what it’s worth,” he laughs and Blaine nods against his shoulder, yawning rather adorably. “We should get some sleep. It’s late, we’ve got to get to the airport tomorrow, and then…”
“Back to work,” Blaine replies, making no move to get to his feet or return to his own bedroom, and Kurt doesn’t have the heart to tell him to move when he looks so comfortable right here.
And yes, okay, he’s being selfish again, but he deserves it so he’s going to enjoy every moment Blaine gives him like this.
“Mm-hmm. Did you have a good holiday?” he asks, quietly, and Blaine’s eyes pop open as he stares up at Kurt.
“The best. Your family’s so amazing, Kurt, and I just…thank you. For letting me come with.”
“I’m glad you did,” Kurt whispers, and Blaine responds by yawning again and lying back down. “Blaine? Are you…”
But Blaine seems well and truly asleep, so Kurt sighs and reaches over him to turn the bedside lamp off, setting the alarm on his phone and shifting them so they’re under the blankets. He wraps his arms around Blaine, figuring he can play it off as accidental if he’s still there in the morning, and closes his eyes.
Just before he falls asleep he can hear Blaine mumble something that sounds suspiciously like, ‘think we should try blowjobs next…once we’re back…’ and while Kurt’s face heats up at that, he’s not going to object if Blaine brings it up again when he’s fully awake.
He’s really, really not.
XIV.
Blaine’s not sure, when they get back to New York, how to tell Kurt that his half-asleep mumblings shouldn’t be taken seriously and that he doesn’t really expect them to go into blowjobs. He’d love to, of course, because, well, there’s no way it won’t be amazing, but at the same time…there’s really no way to play it off as anything but having another guy’s dick in your mouth, and there’s nothing at all straight about that.
Which is why he doesn’t expect Kurt to come into his room after he’s done his nightly shower. Yes, it’s a Friday night, and they’re being boring by staying at home, but he’s currently sprawled on the bed wearing nothing but a pair of boxer-briefs and with his arms flung out, staring at the ceiling.
He scrambles to cover himself up when the other man comes in without knocking, but then he realizes that it doesn’t make much sense for them to be squeamish around each other anymore…not after they’ve slept together naked.
“Hey,” he sits up, crossing his legs and staring at Kurt questioningly. “Do you, um…is there…”
“You…I don’t know if you remember, but the last night we were in Lima you talked about…” Kurt stops, wringing his hands a little, before he visibly steels himself and continues. “Blowjobs. And I…I’d like to try that. If you still want to,” he adds quickly and Blaine swears that his brain shuts off for a moment because Kurt’s been fairly passive so far in their little…arrangement. Yes, he seems happy enough to partake, but he’s never really…started anything, and now…
“Kurt, we don’t have to…I mean, I’m sure that our girlfriends can figure it out by themselves, it’s kinda…”
“Gay?” Kurt arches an eyebrow and Blaine flushes a little before he nods meekly. “I know that. But, well, neither of us are exactly getting lucky in the love department right now, and so…why not? Like you said, nothing we do leaves the bedroom when we’re finished, so…” he shrugs one shoulder, looking remarkably unconcerned, and Blaine tries to adopt the same level of utter indifference.
“Yeah. You’re right. I mean, it’s gonna feel good either way, right?” he smiles and Kurt returns it after a moment, a little tentative as he moves toward the bed. “Do you want me to…”
“I’ll go first this time,” Kurt cuts him off with a wave of his hand, his eyes roving over Blaine’s body in a way that has him hardening almost instantly. “Besides, you’re already far closer to being naked.”
“True,” Blaine laughs to cover up his nerves this time, hooking his thumbs in the waistband of his underwear before he pushes them down, kicking them to the side and leaning back against the pillows as Kurt climbs on the bed.
It should feel weirder to be nude while Kurt’s still fully-dressed, but somehow it’s okay, and Kurt settles his hands on Blaine’s knees and urges his legs apart, crawling between them before bending his head. “Is this okay?”
And oh, God, the sight of Kurt like that is doing things to him that he’d rather not think about, so he nods and tries to hold in a whine when Kurt’s tongue flicks out to touch the very tip of his cock. “K-Kurt…” he groans, and Kurt looks strangely smug as he looks up at him.
“Okay?”
“Yeah. Okay,” Blaine promises with a nod, but he has a feeling this is going to be over embarrassingly quickly, especially since Kurt’s barely started. “Do you, um…I mean, have you…”
“I have an idea of how this works, but tell me if…if it feels good, okay?” Kurt gently caresses the inside of his knee and it does wonders to calm Blaine down, his body sinking into the pillows.
“Okay,” he promises, but a second later his fingers are scrabbling to find purchase on the slippery sheets because Kurt’s mouth is around him, hot and wet and tight and so much better than his hand could ever be, and when Kurt sucks a little and presses his tongue against the underside of Blaine’s erection he can’t stop the moan that slips past his lips, fingers clenching in the blankets.
He whimpers when Kurt pulls off, wanting to yank him back, but Kurt just works his jaw a little bit before saying, “You can…touch me. If you want to. My hair, I mean,” he laughs, and Blaine knows that Kurt’s pretty particular about his hair. “Just don’t…choke me, or anything.”
“I’d never,” Blaine promises, but when Kurt’s lips close around him again his hand flies to Kurt’s hair without him even realizing, tightening a little, but from the not-at-all-unpleased sound Kurt makes low in his throat he’s obviously okay with it.
Kurt moves down a little farther, taking him in a little deeper, and when he looks up at Blaine now, his lips stretched around Blaine’s cock and his eyes dark, looking somehow innocent and utterly devilish at the same time, Blaine can barely stop himself from coming right then and there. “Kurt, I…”
“Hmm?” Kurt makes a questioning noise, the vibrations shooting through Blaine’s body and he gasps as his hips buck up of their own volition, causing Kurt to throw an arm over his waist and hold him down.
“Shit, I’m sorry, I just…can you…do that again?” he asks hesitantly, but Kurt seems to understand and hums again, sliding his mouth up and down, tongue flicking and the sensations are almost overwhelming, Blaine trying desperately not to move too much even though he just really wants to fuck Kurt’s mouth but that won’t end well for either of them.
Kurt’s eyes are closed now, his free hand wrapped around the base of Blaine’s cock as he bobs his head, and Blaine can feel the familiar tightening of his muscles that tells him this is all going to be over really, really soon.
“Kurt, I…I’m gonna…if you want to…”
Kurt’s eyes snap open them and the challenge in them is undeniable. He breathes out slowly through his nose as Blaine strokes his hair, trying to calm his body down, but it only takes one more lick-suck-hum for it to be all over.
Blaine can feel Kurt holding him down as his body spasms, orgasm washing over him in a flood of sensation and hot-wet-slick-tight around his cock, and when he comes to himself again Kurt’s sitting back on his knees, looking amazed and used and he wipes his hand over the back of his mouth.
“Oh, God, I’m so sorry, I…”
“It’s fine,” Kurt sounds a little hoarse and he coughs, clearing his throat before speaking again. “Really. I…if I hadn’t wanted you to do that I would have stopped you,” he shrugs, and Blaine’s not going to think too hard of the implications of that, but now…
“Are you…um…do you want me to…return the favor?” he asks, surprised that he’s actually kind of excited about this. Really, he knows he’s 100% gay, but it’s not until now that the idea of actually going down on another guy has seemed like something he can’t live without.
“Yes. I’d…” Kurt pauses, reaching to slip his shirt over his head, and Blaine helps him get undressed and switches places with him, knowing that something’s changing between them tonight and he’s just not quite sure what it is or even if it’s good or bad.
The only thing he knows for certain is that nothing’s quite so simple anymore.
XV.
Kurt doesn’t want to freak out, but as he leans back against the pillows he realizes he’s really, really close to doing just that. He’d just given Blaine a blowjob. And not only that, he’d just let Blaine come in his mouth, and while that should mortify him a little because he doesn’t even want to think about the fact that he just swallowed ejaculate, it’s really kind of…well, hot, and he hadn’t hated it, and Blaine had been coming apart under him and he just…couldn’t stop.
But it’s okay, he reasons, because it’s really the first time he’s taken any initiative in this little…thing they’ve got going on, and Blaine’s staring up at him, hands spreading Kurt’s knees apart as he leans in.
Kurt sucks in a breath, tipping his head back and closing his eyes, a shudder going through his body as Blaine hesitantly licks at the head of his cock. It’s…different, especially when he’s only ever had fingers and hands touching him there, but he has a feeling it won’t take much for him to realize he really, really loves getting blowjobs.
“Okay?” Blaine looks up, eyes wide and long eyelashes fluttering as he stares at Kurt, and Kurt can only nod because he doesn’t trust his voice right now. “Okay,” he sounds relieved as he leans in again and slips his mouth over the head of Kurt’s cock, sucking lightly. Kurt groans and his fingers tangle in Blaine’s curls without him meaning them to; he pulls off a second later murmuring hurried apologies as Blaine shakes his head and gazes up at him once more.
“Kurt, hey, it’s cool. I mean, I don’t think I’ve got much of a gag reflex so if you want to…I’m okay with that. With…um…you know, what you did for me? I’m okay with it,” he’s blushing now and Kurt takes a moment to realize that ‘what you did for me’ really means ‘when I came in your mouth’ and if anything he gets even more aroused because of it.
He nods shakily and replaces his hands, tugging Blaine’s head down as the other boy laughed and eagerly closes his lips around Kurt’s cock again, taking him in deeper as Kurt moans and bucks his hips up.
True to his word, Blaine doesn’t even flinch, simply opens his throat and takes Kurt in as far as he can and holy fuck he wasn’t lying about having no gag reflex. “Blaine…Blaine, that’s…”
Blaine hums, probably meaning it as a question but all it does is make Kurt’s toes curl as he pulls maybe a little too hard at Blaine’s hair, the other boy whining a little at the tug although his rhythm never falters.
Kurt tries to hold out as long as he can, but with everything going on…the hot, wet tightness around his cock, the tiny flicks of Blaine’s tongue that are driving him half-mad, the fact that Blaine looks like he’s damn near thriving doing this…it’s not going to take much.
“Blaine, I’m…I’m c-close,” he finally manages to stammer and Blaine nods in apparent understanding, eyes lowering as he focuses even more intently on his task and it only takes a few more swallows before Kurt’s coming with a drawn-out moan, curling up so his hands are nearly on Blaine’s back as he bends forward and comes down the other boy’s throat.
He slumps down against the pillows once he’s spent, trying to catch his breath and with an arm thrown over his eyes to block out the world. He hears Blaine rustling about, leaving the room and then coming back in as he gently touches Kurt’s arm.
“Mm?”
“Mouthwash?” he asks, raising an eyebrow, and Kurt takes the proffered cup and swishes the minty liquid around before spitting it back, nodding his thanks as Blaine pads back to the washroom to empty the cups out. He smacks his lips, leaning back with his mind racing because…what was that?
No straight man he’s ever known would have done what Blaine just did and, what’s more, have looked almost happy to be doing it. He doesn’t want to think too much about it, because after all it’s not like he’s being entirely truthful, either…but it’s something that’s been niggling at his mind for a while now and it’s only getting more obvious as the days go by.
Which, of course, begs the question: is Blaine hiding his sexuality the same way Kurt is, or did he honestly not realize until now that he might be sexually attracted to men as well?
There’s no safe way to broach the topic, not without admitting that he’s been lying for months, so he stores the information away in the back of his bran and vows to examine it more closely later.
Blaine crawls on the bed beside him and curls in close, head on Kurt’s shoulder and an arm thrown lazily across his chest.
“…Blaine?”
“Just…stay with me tonight,” Blaine whispers into his skin, and this is really only furthering Kurt’s suspicions.
Still, sleeping with somebody is more enjoyable than sleeping alone, so he gets the covers up over them and holds Blaine close, their legs tangling under the sheets.
“Okay,” he agrees, hearing Blaine’s pleased hum in return, and he knows that sooner or later the truth has to come out, on both their parts.
He’s just not quite sure how much longer they can keep this up without breaking.
XVI.
Blaine knows as soon as he wakes up that things have gone too far, and it’s probably all his own fault in asking Kurt to stay. He’s never been that great at pretending, and after last night, well…the truth has to come out sooner or later, but it’s much sooner than he would have thought.
Kurt shifts beside him, curled up against his side, and Blaine strokes his hand over the silky skin of his shoulders and back, unwilling to stop touching especially now that he knows he might never get the chance again.
Or, he thinks with a pained smile, he might get it one last time, but that’s if Kurt will agree to the plan he’s currently coming up with. It’s a stretch, and he knows it, but it’s now or never.
“Blaine?” Kurt asks sleepily, looking up, his hair mussed and his eyes half-lidded. “Is it morning?”
“Yeah,” Blaine whispers, his fingers still trailing lightly over Kurt’s skin, and Kurt sighs heavily and doesn’t move, although the arm he’s got around Blaine tightens a little.
“We need to talk.”
“I know,” Blaine chokes back the emotion that’s building in his throat, because he’s dreading this. “But first can I…can we pretend that…I want…”
“What?” Kurt doesn’t sound angry, at least, but his eyes narrow a little and he shifts more upright. “What is it?”
“I have…one more thing I want to try. Before we end this. And I don’t…I want to do it before we talk, before this all is…” he shakes his head, unable to say anything else, and Kurt just lets him collect himself.
“Tell me,” Kurt prompts, sitting beside Blaine and leaning in a little bit. “What do you want?”
“I want you to fuck me,” Blaine’s proud of himself for not cracking through that sentence, for it coming out strong and self-assured.
“Blaine!”
He can’t tell if Kurt’s angry or shocked or annoyed, not from that, but then the other man starts to laugh, drawing his knees to his chest and chuckling into the sheets.
“Kurt, I’m serious!”
“I know,” Kurt stops laughing abruptly and just…stares at Blaine. “I do. But I don’t…why, Blaine? I’ve been trying to figure you out, and I…are you…”
“Later. Please?” Blaine knows he’s pleading but this is exactly the conversation he’s trying to put off. “Can we just…pretend that this is normal, and do this, and then…then I promise I’ll answer any questions you have and explain everything, okay?” he reaches for Kurt’s hand without meaning to, squeezing it and feeling more comforted when Kurt squeezes back.
“Okay. I’m not…entirely happy about this, but okay. You’re sure that…” Kurt’s blushing now, his cheeks flushed red, and Blaine has to hide his smile because it’s really adorable. “Have you ever…”
“With my fingers, yeah,” Blaine reaches over and digs a bottle of lube out of the nightstand. “So I could…prep myself, if you wanted, or you could…”
“You do it,” Kurt says instantly. “I’m going to, um, splash some water on my face and just…I need a minute. I’ll come back,” he promises, resting his hand on Blaine’s knee for a moment as if it was a promise of some sort before he scurries off the bed and tugs his underwear back on, rushing out of the room.
Blaine isn’t going to worry about whether or not Kurt’s going to come back, because he trusts that he will, and he uncaps the lube and sighs, trying to relax his body enough that he can do this.
He hasn’t for a while but it’s not entirely foreign to him, and yes, he’s used…toys before, so Kurt shouldn’t hurt him as long as he preps himself enough, and he forces his brain to shut down and focuses on fingering himself, breathing out slowly and letting his body relax as he waits for Kurt to come back.
He’s three fingers in when Kurt sneaks back in, face red and eyes averted, but when he raises his gaze he squeaks and his mouth drops open. “You…um…”
And Blaine gulps and feels himself flush because wow, if he’d thought doing this alone was overwhelming doing it with Kurt watching, his eyes growing ever wider, was almost too much and he turns his head to the side and slips his fingers out of his body, wrinkling his nose before wiping them on the sheets. “I’m ready. If you are.”
“O-okay,” Kurt pads over carefully, kneeling on the bed and spreading some lube onto his own hand as he strokes himself, and even though the situation's more than a little weird for both of them Blaine’s impressed by how quickly he gets himself aroused. “Do we…um…condom?”
“I don’t…have any,” Blaine swallows, because no, they are doing this, and he’s not letting that stop him because he knows they’re both clean. “Besides, we…”
“Not…I know it’s safe, I just…you know. Messy. And do you really want to walk around with my…” he gestures and Blaine knows what he means, and he knows he’d freak Kurt out forever if he tells him that yes, he really wants Kurt to come inside of him with nothing but skin between them.
“It’s okay. I’ll manage,” Blaine huffs a laugh. “How do…should I be on my knees so you don’t have to…look at me?” he says it quietly, because he’s sure that Kurt would rather not lose his virginity with him, but Kurt surprises him by shaking his head.
“No. I mean…yes, this is strange, but…we’re not strangers, and it would just be awkward to pretend that we’re…that this is anything but what it actually is. So…” he shrugs and Blaine gives him a quick, grateful smile before pulling a pillow under his hips. “Are you…you sure you’re ready?” Kurt looks at him and bites his lower lip, seeming not to know if it’s okay to stare or if he should be looking somewhere else.
“I’m fine, Kurt. I’ll be…I’ll be fine,” Blaine promises, reaching for Kurt’s hand and squeezing it softly. “Just…please. Fuck me.”
“Okay,” Kurt lets out a long, slow breath before he moves closer, lifting Blaine’s legs up so they’re wrapped around his body and leaning in. Blaine shivers when he feels the head of Kurt’s cock press against his entrance and forces himself to relax. “I’m going to…I’m moving now,” Kurt says quickly, pushing forward as Blaine groans and scrunches his eyes closed because, yeah, Kurt’s definitely not tiny and he’s bigger than anything Blaine’s had inside of him before.
His hands have wrapped around Kurt’s neck before he realizes what he’s doing, holding on so tightly as he tries to get used to the stretch. “Keep going,” he gasps when Kurt stops for a moment, presumably to check if he’s still okay. “It’s…it’s worse when you stop and start, so please, keep…”
“Okay,” Kurt does, pressing forward inch by inch until he’s fully inside, and Blaine whimpers at the shocking fullness and the strange feeling of something being there when he’s not used to it. “Does it hurt?” Kurt’s brow is beaded with sweat, his arms shaking a little. “You’re so tight, fuck, I feel like you have to be in pain…”
“I’m not,” Blaine assures him, because it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as he’d feared it would. “It’s different, but I’m okay. I’m okay, Kurt,” he promises, reaching to brush Kurt’s hair back. “Can you, um…if you want to move, I’d be okay with that,” he says and holds on tighter as Kurt pulls out a little before pressing in again. “Fuck,” he gasps, throwing his head back and rocking his hips into it.
“Is that okay?” Kurt asks, sounding almost terrified, and Blaine moves to stroke his hair again, trying to keep him calm because he really hadn’t thought Kurt would be freaking out more than he is right now.
“It’s great,” Blaine promises. “Really, Kurt, if you hurt me I’ll tell you, but it just…feels really good,” he sighs as Kurt thrusts in again, and each time the slight sting of pain and the initial strangeness fades until it really does feel good. He tries to arch his hips up more and Kurt grabs his thighs and hoists Blaine’s legs over his shoulders, bending him almost in half as he leans closer.
The next snap of his hips brushes against Blaine’s prostate and he muffles his yell in Kurt’s shoulder, fingers tightening on the other man’s skin. “Kurt, please, keep…right there, faster, I need…” he knows he’s babbling but everything is just so much right now and it’s overwhelming him in the best way possible.
Kurt nods against him and moves his hips faster, and all Blaine can do is hang on and keep breathing through it. “Blaine, I can’t…I’m sorry, you’re just…really tight and I’m close, I…”
“It’s okay. You can…you can come,” Blaine whispers, because he knew the first time wouldn’t last that long, and Kurt shivers under his hands and he can feel him orgasm which is some strange combination of really weird and really hot and really messy, and he whines into Kurt’s neck as the other man finds enough strength to wrap a hand around his cock and jerk him off clumsily.
It only takes a few strokes before Blaine’s coming, streaks of it hitting his stomach and Kurt’s chest where they’re pressed together, and Kurt nearly collapses on top of him as they both lay there panting. It’s too hot now, too sticky and too stifling and a little painful and so, so perfect that Blaine just wants to bask in it before the real world comes crashing back in and takes it all away from him forever.
Kurt shifts enough so that he slides out, the sound a little unpleasant and Blaine wrinkles his nose at the feeling and knows he’ll need to shower before they do anything else but he can’t move right now.
“Blaine…” Kurt whispers and Blaine shakes his head stubbornly, feeling his eyes tear up as he pulls Kurt onto his chest and holds him there. “Okay,” Kurt sighs in resignation but he wraps his arms around Blaine and closes his eyes.
If this is all Blaine ever gets, if he can pretend that he and Kurt are real lovers for even five minutes, that’s enough.
Because it’s all he’ll ever have.
XVII.
Kurt’s sitting on his bed in a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt from his dad’s garage when Blaine comes in from his shower, wearing a bathrobe and his hair unstyled. He sits down beside Kurt, not close enough to touch, and draws his knees up to his chest in a pose that’s more defensive than anything and Kurt momentarily feels guilty that Blaine seems to think he has to defend himself from Kurt.
Kurt, for his part, is not thinking too hard about the fact that he’s just…well, gone all the way for the first time. It had been…strange, yes, but that was inevitable, but it had felt incredible and he was inwardly glad that Blaine trusted him enough for something so huge.
“So,” he clears his throat when it becomes obvious Blaine’s not going to speak first. “Are you…what? In the closet? You thought you were straight but fooling around with me has shown you otherwise?” he tries to break the tension and Blaine barks a short, bitter laugh.
“God, no. I’m gay. I…had a very, very short phase when I was fifteen or sixteen when I thought I might be bisexual, but that was taken care of by actually trying to date a girl and not feeling much of anything. My friends all know, but I just…” he pauses and Kurt immediately feels guilty for ever judging him because, well, Blaine’s story is eerily similar to his own so far.
Except for the dating girls part. Even when he’d try to play straight for his dad’s benefit, he’d always known.
“When I was in freshman year, my school had a Sadie Hawkins dance, and I went with a friend. He was gay, but we weren’t dating, and neither of us were really out at the time. We were…waiting to get picked up after the dance when these guys showed up and…beat the crap out of us. Not because we were doing anything more than standing and not touching, but just because they thought we were together. I was in the hospital for a while,” he finishes in a whisper, looking down at his hands, and Kurt feels a pang in his chest because he never could have imagined.
Yes, he’d had trouble, but never to the extent that he was badly injured enough that he needed medical attention. “Blaine, I…”
“It’s okay,” Blaine sniffs and looks up to meet Kurt’s eyes. “Anyway, that’s how I came out to my parents, and they…I think they accept that I’m gay, but that doesn’t mean they really understand it or know how to react to me talking about guys, so it’s…hard at home because there’s nobody that really gets me and my brother’s great about it, but he’s so much older and he lives in LA so it’s not like he was around much to help out,” he shrugs, not seeming bitter about any of it, and Kurt has to admire that. “After that they thought it was too dangerous to stay at public school anymore so they got me enrolled at Dalton, and that’s…that’s it. As far as past boyfriends there’s…not much to tell. I mean, there was one guy, but it never went farther than kissing because he was kind of a jerk,” Blaine sighs and curls in on himself even more, not looking at Kurt any longer.
“So why did you hide here?” Kurt reaches to touch Blaine’s knee, trying to let him know it was okay.
“Just…you know, Dalton had a no-bullying policy, and I knew that I wouldn’t be nearly as sheltered out here in the real world and I just…didn’t want any trouble, and I’ve been told I can pass for straight so I thought that it would just make it easier on me if I pretended that I really was,” he laughs and looks down, biting his lip. “I guess, when it came to you, my acting was pretty terrible, huh?”
“Just a little,” Kurt admits with a tiny chuckle as he pats Blaine’s leg. “But I’m not angry with you, Blaine. It would be…a little hypocritical, seeing as how my story is…remarkably similar to yours,” he takes a deep breath and sees Blaine’s hazel eyes widen, his mouth falling open.
“You mean…you’re really…but you seemed…”
“Maybe I’m a better actor, but honestly, I think the world knew I was gay before I made the connection for myself. My…I’ve been toning down my wardrobe and trying to speak a little lower since I’ve been here but in high school my style was…unique, to say the least, and people knew I liked boys before I ever came out to anybody. My dad was great about it, but the school…” he wrinkles his nose because it’s not the most pleasant memory to relive, but Blaine’s done his part and Kurt owes it to him to be truthful as well.
Blaine flips his hand on top of Kurt’s and squeezes his fingers, and Kurt’s grateful for the contact right now.
“Well, I was the only out kid at my school for a long time, and this one jock…made my life a living Hell. Shoving me around, calling me names, throwing slushies at me…” he ignores Blaine’s appalled look at that but he’d gotten so used to having the frozen, sticky drink thrown in his face that he’d forgotten most high schools probably didn’t have to put up with that. “About halfway through junior year I’d reached my breaking point and confronted him in the locker room and he…kissed me, and threatened to kill me if I told anybody,” he swallows, the memory bringing back the fear and revulsion and utter defeat he’d felt in that moment, and Blaine rubs his thumb over the back of Kurt’s hand. “I…the truth came out, eventually, just…that he was threatening me, and he’s…he’s not a bad guy, he was just afraid of his reputation, and at the end of the year he transferred out and that was that,” he shrugs, because it’s all in the past now.
“But that’s not…I mean, that isn’t the reason I’m hiding now…and this is going to be really embarrassing to admit, but…okay, I used to have the biggest crush on Finn. So big that I set our parents up and tried to get them to move in together right away, and our house at the time only had two bedrooms so Finn needed to share with me and I…came on too strong and freaked him out and he was already kind of shaken up by the fact that his life was changing so fast without him having any say, so he…blew up at me,” Kurt bites his lip, because that memory’s still a little raw too even though he knows he was mostly at fault for how he acted.
“So that’s…at Thanksgiving…” Blaine’s brow furrows and Kurt nods.
“That’s why I had to shut Puck up, because he was going to bring up how back then I would have given anything to kiss Finn. I mean, we made up, and everything turned out okay, and now I just…see him as a brother, but having gone through that with one roommate I didn’t want to take the chance whoever I got here was some homophobic asshole who’d be worried I was going to, I don’t know, molest them in their sleep so hiding my sexuality seemed like the best way to go,” he laces his fingers with Blaine’s and smiles at him. “But I’ve never hidden it among my friends, and I’m not…I mean, obviously I don’t have to hide it now.”
“Obviously,” Blaine’s still rubbing Kurt’s fingers with his own, almost unaware that he’s doing so, and Kurt shifts closer because he just…needs to be near the other boy right now. “So what does that mean? We’re both gay, we’ve both been lying about it, we both…I mean, I like you. A lot. I’m not even going to try and pretend that I don’t anymore,” he sighs.
“I like you, too. I never would have agreed to all of this if I didn’t, Blaine,” Kurt assures him, keeping his voice gentle as he speaks. “And I don’t…this isn’t exactly conventional, but seeing as how we both are attracted to each other and we’ve both…kind of…made it past the awkward stage of a relationship by literally jumping in head-first, do you think…” he stops, because asking Blaine to be his boyfriend now seems more than a little strange, but Blaine’s smiling at him like he’s just offered him the world and it makes something in his stomach flip pleasantly.
“Yes. I mean…if you’re asking…yes,” Blaine looks giddy, his entire body vibrating as he leans closer and cups his hand to Kurt’s cheek. “Can I…can I kiss you?”
So Kurt lets his arms drape around Blaine’s neck and smiles, and he knows that it’s answer enough.
XVIII.
They decide not to tell anybody right away. This is still new to them, after all, and they’re learning to navigate being with each other as boyfriends as opposed to close friends who fool around, and Blaine thinks it’s infinitely better this way. There’s a lot of exploration, now that they both feel allowed to, a lot of touching and kissing and getting used to the joy of being in love with your best friend.
Because he’s not sure yet if Kurt’s there, or if he’s getting ahead of himself, but it feels like love and he’s going to bask in it as long as he can.
-
“Do you want to come back to my place for Christmas?” Kurt asks him a couple of weeks later, the early December sunlight weakly streaming through the curtains as Blaine lifts his head off the other man’s chest and squints at him. “I mean, I know Rachel or somebody’s going to have a New Year’s party and, well, I think it’ll be a lot more fun now that we’re…you know, admitting everything,” he laughs and lets his hand rest on Blaine’s back.
“I’d love to. Christmas at the Anderson Household is always stuffy and not very festive, so it’ll be…nice to spend it somewhere that is,” Blaine snuggles closer, because honestly they don’t really need two bedrooms anymore, and he’s half-asleep when he feels Kurt nudging something into his hand and looks at the bottle of lubricant Kurt’s passed him.
“You know what else is nice?” Kurt raises an eyebrow and Blaine grins, because he knows exactly what Kurt’s talking about.
-
The semester winds to a close, final projects and exams done for the time being, and it feels too quick that they’re back on a plane to Ohio with Quinn and Rachel, the girls giving them suspicious glances as they sit too close on the plane, heads bent together and laughing at the most mundane things, but they’d agreed to wait a little longer to reveal everything.
Of course, it doesn’t work around Finn, but that’s mostly because it’ll be impossible to hide while they’re staying in the same house and his response is to clap Blaine on the back so hard he nearly falls over.
But Blaine figures that means he approves, and he’s grateful for it. He thinks they almost give Burt a second heart attack when Kurt marches into the house and announces with no preamble that they don’t need to fix up the guest room because Blaine will be staying with him.
To his credit, though, the older man simply sighs and tells Kurt that he and Carole have the courtesy to not let them know when they’re doing things, so if Kurt and Blaine would do the same that would be nice of them.
Kurt looks ill at the mention of his father and Carole being intimate, but he quickly shakes it off and grabs Blaine’s hand as they rush to his room like giddy teenagers.
Which, Blaine thinks as he all but falls on top of Kurt on the bed, they kind of still are.
-
Christmas is as wonderful as he’s always thought it could be, full of laughter and joy and love, and when he completely slips up and whispers it in the afterglow a couple of days before New Year’s all he gets in return is a hushed laugh and a low, “do you really think I don’t feel the same?” that makes him jump on Kurt again and leaves them both completely exhausted the next day.
But then, since there’s nothing to do but laze around and watch movies and drink hot chocolate anyway, maybe it doesn’t really matter all that much.
-
Rachel’s party is as raucous as ever, the television tuned loudly to the ball drop back in New York, and Kurt’s arm is a steady weight around his hip as they hold their glasses of champagne Puck had managed to snag and wait for the countdown to begin.
When the clock reaches midnight exactly, they kiss, a little longer and more drawn-out than it should be but neither of them have ever had a New Year’s kiss before and they don’t break apart until a rather shrilly obnoxious wolf-whistle startles them out of it.
Everybody’s staring at them, although nobody seems the least bit surprised, and Santana rolls her eyes and drunkenly exclaims, “fucking finally!” and that’s about all it takes for them to go back to kissing like there’s no tomorrow.
Except there will be. Plenty of them. And when Kurt pulls away to rest his head on Blaine’s shoulder and whisper, “Happy New Year, Blaine,” Blaine can only nod and hold him close and agree.
Because he has a feeling it’s going to be the first of many happy new years to come.
Notes:
-This was a lot of fun to write, and I hope you all enjoyed reading it! Comments are always loved and appreciated :) I'm not sure what my next project will be, maybe another prompt from the GKM just because I've had such writer's block lately that I need prompts to get me started, but we'll see!
Also, a PDF of the fic can be found Here!
And for anybody wondering, I do in fact have a tumblr, and currently I am here!