Fic: Crossing The Line, Part 1/2, Kurt/Blaine
Title: Crossing The Line
Author: AoiTsukikage
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairing: Klaine
Chapters: 18/18
Word Count: ~20,700
Spoilers: Nothing specific
Summary: Written for a GKM prompt. Blaine and Kurt meet in college when they share a dorm room together. Both of them are hiding their sexuality, but since neither is getting any action elsewhere, they enter into a friends-with-benefits type of relationship. Eventually it goes a little too far to be just ‘bros helping bros’ and the truth has to come out.
Crossing the Line
I.
“You must be Kurt!”
Kurt turns at the rather enthusiastic voice, plastering a smile onto his face and jamming his hands into the pockets of his hoodie (he’ll give up fashion for a while, just until he finds out if his new roommate is a homophobic jerk) and studies the man in front of him.
He’s…short, Kurt thinks, short and wearing clothes that he hadn’t realized anybody under the age of about seventy-five owned, but for some reason the cardigan and slicked-back hair suit him, and Kurt can instantly see that his happy welcome isn’t an act.
His eyes are damn near sparkling, wide and open and Kurt spends far too much time trying to decipher the ever-swirling hazel-brown-green-gold of them before he realizes he’s being rude and sticks out a hand, adapting a casual posture and trying not to give off any strange vibes.
“Yeah,” he mutters, keeping his voice lower-pitched than normal, and the boy grins and pumps his hand heartily.
“I’m Blaine. Blaine Anderson. Guess we’re roommates, huh?” he steps back so Kurt can see into the dorm, and it’s rather basic and small. The entrance leads into a tiny kitchen/living room, barely enough space to get a table and couch in, and three doors at the back end head toward what Kurt assumes are the bedrooms and bathroom.
Well, it’s not luxury, but it’ll do, he supposes.
Anything to get out of Lima and into New York, and after NYADA had decided to accept Rachel and not him, he guesses that NYU isn’t a bad second choice, all things considered.
“Guess so,” Kurt grumbles, pulling his suitcase into the room behind him. “Which bedroom…”
“Oh, that one,” Blaine points and Kurt nods his thanks, slipping into the room and heaving a sigh as he leans against the door. He’s glad to see there’s a mirror hanging on the back of it, at least it means he can do his morning and night routines without Blaine seeing his countless jars of creams and moisturizers.
Closing his eyes, he sinks onto the bed with a groan, wondering if he’s doing the right thing. Yes, he knows New York is more accepting than Lima, but there’s a giant difference between going to school with somebody who likes guys and actually living with one. It had taken Finn long enough to warm up to it, after all, and while now he and Rachel and the rest of Kurt’s friends are obviously a little disapproving that Kurt’s proverbially ‘back in the closet’, he doesn’t feel comfortable being his fabulous self right off the bat.
Maybe one day, if he’s really sure he won’t get any trouble because of it.
He leans back farther on the bed, trying not to think about the state of the mattress (he’ll have to do a thorough cleaning of everything later, when Blaine’s not around to judge him) as he sighs and curls up on himself.
He’s here, in New York, doing something that he knows he’ll love, with a roommate that didn’t hate him at first sight.
All things considered, it could be a lot worse.
-
Blaine watches the (admittedly gorgeous) boy head into his bedroom and tries to calm himself down. Kurt seems normal enough, likes to keep to himself if immediately disappearing is any indication, and Blaine just hopes he hasn’t come on too strongly because he has a tendency to do that when he gets nervous.
He knows that he’s taking a risk even wearing the clothes he’s used to wearing at home, but he can’t hide every part of himself and all of the guys at Dalton had told him over and over again that he can pass for straight anyway.
So he’s taking their word for it and trying to blend in as best he can. He knows that not everywhere is like his old school, and that around here people should be a little more open-minded about sexuality, but he also knows not every place is like Dalton, either, and he’ll be the first to admit that he’s been…sheltered the last few years.
It doesn’t erase the memories of lying broken and battered on the ground, however, and if he has a choice, he’d rather hide who he is than go through all of that again.
His parents will be happy about it, probably, but then he’s never been quite sure what he can do to make them like him more.
He heads into his own bedroom and pulls up his class schedule, clicking his tongue as he reads it over and memorizes where he has to go for the next morning. He has no idea what Kurt is majoring in, or if they can help each other out in that department, but it’s nice to have somebody to come home to (and that his roommate is unfairly attractive is just a plus, he supposes).
By the time he’s headed back into the front room and collapses onto the couch, Kurt’s out of his bedroom, walking the tiny space as if he’s searching for something.
“What…” Blaine starts, his voice loud in the stillness, and Kurt flinches a little before he looks over with a glare. “Sorry. What are you majoring in?”
There’s a pause, and Kurt looks almost afraid to answer, but he finally shrugs and tucks his hands in the side pockets of his jeans, all casual elegance.
“Musical theatre,” he raises his chin as if daring Blaine to judge him but Blaine huffs a tiny, relieved sigh and smiles.
“Really? Maybe that’s why they’ve got us rooming together, then.”
“So you’re…” Kurt’s brow furrows before he lets his face relax, nodding sharply. “Well, it’s nice to know somebody else in the program.”
“Likewise,” Blaine replies, shifting over on the couch and gesturing for Kurt to sit, which he does after a few tense seconds. “So, tell me a little about yourself?”
“What is this, honesty hour?” Kurt snorts, but he looks unconcerned as he replies, “I’m from Ohio. Lima, to be more specific. My father and step-mother and step-brother still live there, and I auditioned for NYADA with Rachel, my…” he pauses, and Blaine wonders what he was going to say before he obviously changes his mind, “a girl in the same grade as me. She got in, I didn’t, NYU was my second choice,” he sniffs, looking back at Blaine. “You?”
“I’m from Ohio, too,” Blaine settles on saying. “Westerville. My mom and dad still live there, but I’ve got an older brother who lives in LA. Trying to make it as an actor,” he laughs quietly to himself, because Cooper had dramatically clutched his chest and slumped to the floor when he’d heard Blaine was not only going to New York, but wanting to be on Broadway, although Blaine’s got a tiny hunch that he might make it bigger than Cooper ever has. “I d-don’t know if you did…anything with the theatre back home, but I was in Dalton’s Glee Club,” he knows that might be overstepping but Kurt for the first time actually looks at him.
“A Warbler?” he laughs. “I think we competed against you a couple of times. McKinley High, New Directions,” he settles back into the sofa, looking much more at ease now.
“National Champion New Directions?” Blaine leans forward because everybody around their corner of Ohio had heard about that one when it had happened. “Wait, Rachel isn’t that tiny thing with the great voice and an ego you can see from space, is she?” he almost dreads the answer because he remembers her, and her undeniable talent, but he has a feeling she’s not the easiest person to be around.
“Got it in one,” Kurt rolls his eyes dramatically and Blaine thinks he could give Cooper a run for his money in the drama department, but from then on in the conversation flows easily, although there are times both of them seem to hesitate for just a second too long, like they’re finding the words to say.
Blaine figures it’s just because Kurt seems a little guarded, while for him it’s because he’s trying to make himself seem as straight as possible.
It’s not going to be easy, but right now, it’s the only thing he can do.
II.
The first day of classes is hectic and Hellish, Kurt feeling exhausted by the end and wondering how he’s going to make it through years of this program if this is how he’s reacting after only a day. He takes solace in the fact that Blaine looks nearly as wiped as he does and when the other boy suggests going to a nearby all-ages bar to wind down Kurt accepts without a second thought.
It’s noisy, and crowded, because apparently half the campus has had the same idea as them, but they manage to find a table a little out of the way and order their (non-alcoholic, of course) drinks, and Blaine looks like he’s not quite sure how to start the conversation so Kurt blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind.
“So, tell me about your love life,” he regrets it almost instantly because Blaine starts to choke on his drink, but he recovers quickly and wipes a hand across his nose, blushing a little.
“Sorry, I just…there’s not much to tell,” Blaine idly plays with his straw, swirling the ice cubes in his Coke around as he frowns down at the table. “Dalton’s an all-boys school, and yes, we saw….we had a sister-school that we had…co-ed dances and things, but I was never really the type to, you know,” he looks surprised by his own words and Kurt has to stifle a smile behind his hand because it’s obvious Blaine’s out of his depth here. “I mean, there was this one time…after a dance. I took this girl from the other school and we ended up making out in the back of a car,” he shrugs, like it’s no big deal, and Kurt has the distinct feeling Blaine’s hiding something from him.
“Blaine, if you’ve never done anything with a girl it’s nothing to be ashamed of,” he smiles, because at least he can tell the truth if Blaine asks him back (which of course he will).
“It happened,” Blaine replies petulantly, but Kurt’s really starting to doubt it. “But what about you, huh? Leave the ladies of Lima crying?”
“No, that was my step-brother’s best friend,” Kurt laughed dryly. “I had a girlfriend for a while, one of the cheerleaders, but it just…she was sweet, and beautiful, but she’d been involved with pretty much everybody in the school and I guess I’m old-fashioned, but I’m…”
“Waiting for the right person?” Blaine guesses, and Kurt nods, glad that (even though he hasn’t told the entire truth) Blaine understands. “So that’s your type, then? Cheerleaders?” he asks, sounding a little hesitant, and Kurt shakes his head.
“Not really. She was cute, and available, and she offered, and I didn’t see any reason to turn her down, but that’s…it was fun,” he admits with a tiny shrug, even though it really hadn’t been. Brittany’s a sweetheart, but kissing her wasn’t one of the greatest experiences of his life, and he’d still like to believe that…when he gets his first real kiss…things will be different.
Or else he can’t quite see why people like kissing so much.
“So what is?” Blaine’s hands were gripping his glass tightly, eyes blinking rapidly.
“My type?” Kurt asks in surprise, because he’s never really thought about it (of course not with girls, but even with guys). “I’m not really sure. I think I’m probably more attracted to, you know, personality than any…physical features,” he decides on, because the one thing he’s realized is that if somebody is actively kind to him, there’s a much greater chance he’ll fall for them. Yes, Finn and Sam have other similarities, but the main reason his…infatuation with Finn had been as long-lived as it had was because Finn treated him like a person and not just ‘the weird gay kid that deserves to get syrup and ice thrown in his face every day’, and at the time, that had been exactly what he’d needed. “What about you?”
“Oh, I…” Blaine stammers, looking away and then down, and Kurt decides to take pity on him because it’s obvious that Blaine’s not like all the guys from back home who couldn’t look past a good pair of breasts. And Kurt appreciates that, he really does, because most of the straight guys he knows don’t fit into that category and it’s…refreshing to meet somebody who does.
“Okay, how about this. Look around and pick out a girl in this bar, the first one that really catches your eye,” Kurt leans forward, his own eyes scanning the bar for somebody suitable in case Blaine throws the question back at him, and he sees Blaine’s eyes darting around the space before he vaguely gestures to a nondescript young woman sitting at the counter.
“Her, I guess,” his eyes dart away and Kurt can tell that it’s uncomfortable for him, so he doesn’t press the issue any farther.
“It’s fine. I guess going to an all-boys school you never had much of a chance to find out what you like,” he shrugs and leans back, trying to adopt the most casual pose he can (although since most straight guys he know seem to sit with their legs as far apart as they can be he’s at a loss because no, he’s not going there right now).
“Yeah,” Blaine agrees, looking relieved, and the topic turns much more mundane after that, about school and their dorm room and their old Glee Clubs and whether they should buy any groceries for their little kitchen, and Kurt was quickly finding that aside from being extremely handsome, Blaine was incredibly intelligent and he’s really going to have to work at not letting it show that he might be a little too interested in what his roommate has to say.
-
Kurt realizes the next morning that maybe he shouldn’t be so surprised when he wanders into the kitchen to find Blaine half-naked, sweats riding low on his hips and hair a mess of curls that’s infinitely more attractive than the slicked-back look he seems to favor, rooting around in the cupboards for some cereal.
The bathroom schedule had been mercifully easy to work out because with Kurt doing most of his routine in his bedroom he doesn’t need to spend much time in there, and Blaine isn’t taking a whole lot of time either so, for the time being, Kurt’s glad that they’re compatible.
Still, he tries to keep his eyes from roving over Blaine’s surprisingly toned body and smooth olive skin, because straight guys are always half-naked around each other and it’s no big deal so he can’t turn this into one.
“Hey,” he murmurs, and Blaine looks up and grins.
“Morning, Kurt,” he turns and oh, God, he’s got abs and his entire body is small and compact and he looks strong and he’s maybe got the most defined hipbones Kurt’s ever seen and he kind of wants to run his tongue along…he shakes his head, trying to get his mind out of the proverbial gutter before he makes a fool of himself. “Want some cereal?” he shakes the box, something sugary that Kurt normally wouldn’t come within ten feet of, but his throat’s managed to close up so he merely nods and Blaine hums to himself as he pours out a couple of bowls, Kurt sinking into a chair at their tiny table and wondering just how screwed one person can be.
-
Blaine’s shaking when he makes it back into his room after breakfast, wondering what had possessed him to make him think walking around without a shirt in front of a guy that he thinks is beautiful is a good idea.
Probably just to prove his ‘straightness’, he reasons with a grimace, because the guys at Dalton had never had any trouble half-undressing around each other, but Kurt had seemed more than a little taken-aback and he makes a mental note to be fully-clothed around the other boy from now on.
Besides, it’s not like Kurt’s going to suspect anything as long as Blaine keeps up this pretense that the reason he’s never had a real girlfriend is because he never had a chance, and he’s sure that it won’t be a problem between schoolwork and rehearsals and everything this semester, either.
He skims his fingers through his hair, gelling it back into oblivion as always and pulling out a cardigan and a pair of jeans from the closet before he gets dressed, shouldering his bag and nodding to himself in the mirror before he leaves his room and goes to wait for Kurt.
The boy in question sweeps out a few moments later, all perfect hair and clothes that still manage to fit him perfectly although they’re casual and unremarkable, and he gives Blaine a tiny smile as they head off to class together.
III.
Things continue smoothly for a few weeks, both of them settling into their daily routines easily and on the weekends Kurt would go spend time with Rachel and Blaine would usually stay home and either study or Skype with some of his old Warbler friends, and the conversations between them didn’t veer into dangerous territory at any point for which Blaine was grateful for.
But of course, as inevitably happens in college, midway through October somebody announced they were having a party the next weekend and ‘all you bitches better show up or I’m coming to find you and drag you here myself!’ so Kurt and Blaine really have no choice but to go, and what follows is a rather awkward night that Blaine’s not quite sure he wants to remember fully.
All he can recall the next morning, waking up with an arm and a leg thrown over Kurt’s waist and very, very hard to boot, is that Kurt said something about not drinking since an unfortunate incident with his guidance counsellor’s shoes when he was sixteen, and Blaine had decided to go for it regardless (despite knowing that he’s a horrible drunk, the few Warblers parties where he’d indulged had taught him that well enough).
He’s regretting it now, not least of all because as soon as he sits up he knows he’s going to have the worst headache known to mankind and probably will have to rush for the toilet, but also because he’s in Kurt’s bed and he’s never really seen Kurt’s room before and why is he in Kurt’s bed in the first place?!
“Morning,” Kurt sighs next to him and Blaine turns his head slowly to look, blinking owlishly at the other man who’s sleepy and rumpled and Blaine physically has to restrain himself because he doesn’t think he’s ever wanted another person so badly in his life. “Sleep okay?”
“Confused, but yeah. Fine,” Blaine rasps, and Kurt chuckles and slides out from under him.
“I’ll grab you a glass of water and an aspirin. Stay there,” he orders, although Blaine has no plans to move anytime soon as he rolls onto his back and rubs at his eyes, groaning.
Kurt comes back in shortly with the items, Blaine propping himself up enough to swallow down the painkillers before he slumps back on the pillow and grumbles. “What…what happened last night?”
“You drank. A lot,” Kurt says, as if Blaine couldn’t have figured that out himself. “And then you played ‘Spin the Bottle’ with some of the other theatre students and ended up sucking face with some random girl from one of the other dorms,” he teases and Blaine feels himself blush, even though this should be a good thing. He can’t remember any of that, so he’d have had to have been really drunk. “And eventually you kind of fell asleep kissing her so I decided it was time to get you home, and somehow I managed it,” he looks kind of proud of himself and Blaine can’t blame him, because he probably isn’t easy to move when he’s just dead weight.
“Well, um, thank you,” he mumbles, sitting up again and reaching to rub his temples. “Guess I had fun.”
“Seems like it. Don’t move if you’re just going to throw up,” Kurt reaches out, looking like he’s not even thinking about the action, and brushes Blaine’s hair off his forehead as Blaine hums and leans into the touch.
“I didn’t do anything too embarrassing, did I?” he’s almost afraid to ask because he knows that he finds Kurt extremely attractive and his filter goes away completely when he drinks.
“You’re clingy, but that’s about it. It could have been worse,” Kurt moves away again and Blaine almost whines at the lack of warmth. “Go back to sleep, Blaine. I’ll bring a garbage can over just in case you, you know, need it,” he gets up and pulls the can beside his desk over, pulling the blankets up under Blaine’s chin.
“Sorry you have to take care of me,” Blaine yawns, because he’s still really tired and the sheets smell like Kurt and it’s more than a little intoxicating.
“It’s fine. Just…don’t make a habit of it. I’ll be in the living room doing homework if you need me,” Kurt pats his shoulder before getting up and moving away, graceful and silent as he pads out of the room, and Blaine groans and throws his arm up over his face because he could have given everything away last night and he really, really can’t risk Kurt finding out the secrets he’s been keeping.
He’s still sore, though, and his head still hurts and maybe if he goes to sleep he won’t be thinking about his stomach cramping up on him, so he closes his eyes and drifts off almost immediately, hugging Kurt’s pillow to his chest.
-
It’s not exactly easy for Kurt to focus on homework after the night he’s had. Yes, sleeping in bed with Blaine had been completely platonic, but the other man was an extremely friendly drunk and he wouldn’t let go so Kurt had just…decided it would be easier for both of them to share.
Not that it was any great hardship on his part, of course, but he’d rather envisioned his first time sharing a bed with another man would be, well, slightly more romantic than this. And Blaine had seemed perfectly happy making out with that girl, drunk or not, so it’s not like Kurt can really let his imagination get away from him.
He shouldn’t have even been petting Blaine’s hair earlier, although he’d seemed to enjoy it and Kurt knows it always makes him feel better when he’s not feeling his best, so maybe nothing will come of it.
Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he goes back to rifling through his books, knowing he should get started on studying or writing an essay or something, but Blaine’s still in his bed and that’s entirely too distracting a thought.
He needs to let it go, before he does something that makes Blaine get any suspicions about him.
He needs to.
IV.
The breaking point, such as it is, comes at the beginning of November. It’s another one of their program-based party nights, and while neither Blaine nor Kurt is drinking this time, the rest of their classmates certainly are and inevitably, as it always seems to do when a bunch of guys are congregated together, the talk turns toward their sex lives.
For some reason Kurt’s out of the line of fire, sitting a little back and sipping on a glass of Diet Coke, but he watches Blaine get more and more flustered when he can’t answer any of the questions being thrown his way and decides to take pity on him, walking over and seating himself beside the other boy before bringing up the topic of auditions they were having the next week. Blaine gives him a truly grateful smile and he has to smile back, but there’s something tense between them for the rest of the evening.
The next morning Blaine sits down beside him on the couch and exhales heavily, like he’s trying to compose himself, so Kurt turns away from memorizing a monologue and looks at him curiously. “Do you need something?”
“I just…” Blaine squeaks…literally squeaks…and it’s adorable but Kurt has to hide his smile at the sound. “I was…you know, last night. I was thinking,” he scrunches the fabric of his pants in his fists and Kurt has to resist the urge to reach out and calm him down somehow, because he looks incredibly nervous. “Okay. I’m just going to come out and say it and you can tell me I’m crazy afterward. So, college is all about…you know, experimenting, right? And I just thought…since both of us kind of want to wait for the right person, but neither of us has time to find that person with…with school and rehearsals and everything, and it doesn’t have to mean anything this way so we don’t have to worry about emotions or anything, but…”
“Blaine, stop,” Kurt does reach out now, touching Blaine’s arm gently to halt him because he sounds like he’s going to start hyperventilating at any moment. Kurt has an idea of what Blaine’s suggesting, and he has to admit that he’s torn between jumping Blaine right then and there (let’s face it, Blaine’s pretty much perfect boyfriend material) and reminding Blaine that both of them are straight so doing this doesn’t make any sense. “So you’re…saying what? That we become friends with benefits?”
“Kind of,” Blaine lets out his breath in a ‘whoosh’, like he’s happy Kurt hasn’t punched him or something, and his body sinks down into the sofa a little more. “Not really. Just…bros helping bros, you know? We’re both straight, so I’m not saying we…you know,” he makes a vague motion that probably is supposed to indicate sex and Kurt has to stifle a laugh because this is rivalling his father’s ‘you matter’ talk in awkwardness right now. “Just…I thought…it’s stupid, I know that, but…”
“It’s not stupid,” Kurt assures him firmly, not moving his hand from Blaine’s arm. “It isn’t. But I think we have to lay down some ground rules,” he swallows, his throat suddenly dry, because for as much as he wants Blaine…and as much as he would kind of like to see what the big deal about sex is, seeing as how he’s never gotten that much pleasure out of touching himself…he’s still extremely self-conscious and Blaine’s absolutely gorgeous, although he doubts the other boy will really care what he looks like underneath his clothes.
He still cares, even if he knows that to Blaine this is nothing more than being fuck-buddies.
“Yeah. Rules,” Blaine still looks awed that Kurt went for the idea, which Kurt isn’t going to think too hard on, but he can understand being lonely and horny, mostly, so maybe he doesn’t find the whole thing as weird as he should.
Or as weird as he would if he was straight, but since he’s not, and since Blaine’s the one that brought it up in the first place, protesting too much is only going to hurt him right now.
“Okay. No kissing,” Kurt thinks that’s probably a basic rule, but truth be told, as much as he likes Blaine and would have no problem kissing him if they were actually going out, he’d still like his first real kiss to be with somebody that finds him attractive and that he’s attracted to in turn.
“Okay,” Blaine nods easily and Kurt smiles at him. “What else?”
“If either of us are…if it gets too weird, and one of us says ‘stop’, the other does, no questions asked,” he continues, because he doesn’t think he’ll have a problem with anything they do but Blaine might find out pretty quickly that he does.
“Of course,” Blaine furrows his brow for a second like he’s thinking. “Anything else?”
“I think that’s…all I can think of right now,” Kurt admits, because he has no idea what Blaine has in mind for the two of them, but he’s equal parts anxious and excited right now and he should probably go for a walk or something to cool down. “When would you…when do you want…”
“Um,” Blaine blushes and fiddles with the buttons on his cardigan, staring at the coffee table. “Tonight? Maybe? Once we’re done with…homework and everything and it’s…and we won’t be disturbed?” he looks up at Kurt, his hazel eyes wide and innocent and so fucking trusting, and Kurt wonders if this is really okay before he tells himself he can be selfish this time and nods in agreement.
“Okay. Tonight.”
V.
Blaine’s not nearly as nervous as he should be, all things considered. Yes, he’d been a little worried that Kurt wouldn’t take so kindly to his suggestion, but while Blaine can tell he’s got some reservations he also didn’t say ‘no’ and that’s more encouraging than anything.
And yes, Blaine would be lying if he pretended that he isn’t doing this in part because Kurt’s really, insanely attractive and it’s a way to get closer without blowing his cover, but there’s still a risk involved and he needs to make sure he’s in-control of himself…well, relatively in-control of himself…at all times.
He’s waiting for Kurt to come into his room, eyes darting over to the clock because it’s already five minutes past when the other boy’s supposed to show up and Blaine feels a little awkward standing there in just a pair of boxers, arms crossed over his bare chest. He’d figured that being fully nude wouldn’t send the right…message, as it were, and maybe Kurt’s not comfortable with nudity at all (he always seems to be pretty covered up even coming out from a shower) and maybe this is a really bad idea so maybe…
“Hey,” Kurt slips in through the door, luckily dressed down at least a little, but he’s still wearing an undershirt and shifting awkwardly from foot-to-foot, frowning down at the ground and not meeting Blaine’s eyes.
“We don’t have to do this,” Blaine says immediately. “You, ah, don’t look comfortable, and we don’t have to…”
“I’m fine,” Kurt snaps, heaving a breath and then pulling off his undershirt in one fluid motion and holy fuck Blaine has to remind himself not to stare, because Kurt’s gorgeous. No, he’s not overtly muscled, but he’s toned and pale and his skin looks silky-smooth everywhere, his entire body lithe and graceful and Blaine’s hands twitch at his sides before he can stop them. “How are we…doing this?”
“Um, I thought…” Blaine goes to sit on the bed and leans back against some pillows he’d propped up earlier, keeping himself a little upright. “We could…you know, grinding? So that we don’t have to…if you don’t want to be naked…” he trails off helplessly but Kurt’s eyes narrow a little and he’s biting his lip like he’s thinking.
“Okay. That’s acceptable,” he says after a few moments of tense silence, kneeling on the edge of the bed and letting out a shaky breath before he shifts up farther. “So I should…”
“Yeah,” Blaine keeps his hands at his sides, clenched in the bedcovers because he knows he can’t touch Kurt since that would be really weird, but Kurt’s hovering over him now and he’s not sure where they go from here.
It’s undeniably awkward, having Kurt so close but being so careful not to touch each other, and he hears Kurt let out a huff of breath in frustration as his brow furrows and he leans in a little more. “You can…you can touch me,” he almost whispers it, like it’s a source of shame, and Blaine blinks in confusion because he’s not sure how to take this.
“I can…”
“Look, nothing we’re…nothing we’re doing here leaves this room, right?” Kurt looks so earnest and Blaine nods, because he knows it has to be this way even though if he had his own way he’d be telling people all about the gorgeous, witty guy that’s all but agreed to experiment with him.
But he’s ‘straight’, and Kurt’s actually straight, so that’s off the table completely.
“Okay, then. We don’t have to be ashamed of ourselves, or each other, or what we’re doing, and if we’re going to be…engaging in frottage, I’m going to need some help,” he’s blushing almost beet-red by now and it’s utterly adorable, but Blaine takes his cue and knows that Kurt’s embarrassed enough already so he slides his hands up Kurt’s arms, trying not to shiver at all the perfect, silky skin under his fingertips, until he’s gripping the other boy’s shoulders.
“Here, or…”
“My hips,” Kurt looks down now and Blaine’s not going to pressure him, but he obliges, resting his hands just above the waistband of Kurt’s underwear and flexing his fingers slightly. “Okay,” Kurt’s eyes are wide as he finally looks into Blaine’s own, swirling with blue-grey-green and Blaine nods as best he can, a little overwhelmed. “Should I just?”
“Yes,” Blaine chokes out, hoping Kurt takes what’s truly desire on his part to be merely nerves, and it takes him a moment to realize he’s already hard and he wonders if his body’s going to betray his true sexuality after all, but Kurt either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care as he rolls his hips down, making both of them gasp.
“So…do I just…” Kurt’s voice is higher than normal, strained, and Blaine jerks his head in a half-nod and pulls down on Kurt’s hips, trying to get him to keep moving.
Everything after that is hazy, but the absolute pleasure of having another man’s cock pressed to his for the first time…never mind that it’s through two layers of fabric…is turning him on like nothing else ever has and Kurt’s noisy, making these little sub-vocal whines in his throat and humming under his breath as he rolls his hips faster.
Blaine’s going to have masturbatory material for months when this is done, but he realizes with a tiny thrill that he might not need it that often because, straight or not, Kurt’s willing to do this with him, and the thought of going farther…of being completely skin-to-skin with Kurt one day soon…is about all he needs.
He tightens his fingers and hears Kurt gasp in response as his orgasm hits him, gritting his teeth and pressing his forehead to Kurt’s shoulder.
Kurt thrusts down a couple more times, any semblance of rhythm gone, and then his whole body goes stiff. Blaine holds his hips down, keeping that friction going for him, and Kurt all but collapses on his chest when he’s spent, sweat-sticky and too hot but Blaine loves it.
“Well,” he breathes out, hearing Kurt groan something in response, and he’s trying to think of what else to say when Kurt jumps back as if he’s been burned, snatching his shirt up and giving Blaine a bare ghost of a smile before he’s darting from the room.
Blaine hears the shower start a moment later and knows he’ll need to take one when Kurt’s finished, and maybe he should be freaking out a little more too because he’s just had sex for the first time, but he’s hazy-content and he flops back on his pillows, a no-doubt dopey smile on his face.
He needs to talk to Kurt later, make sure the other boy is still okay with everything, but this whole friends-with-benefits thing?
Maybe it’s going to be wonderful after all.
VI.
Kurt doesn’t talk to Blaine that night, and the next morning he’s out of the dorms before the other boy’s woken up, rubbing his hands in the brisk morning air as he waits for Rachel to meet him at the coffee shop.
Maybe it’s childish, but he’s just lost his proverbial virginity and it’s kind of a big deal although Blaine had been…well, certainly not as hesitant as Kurt would have thought, but he’d hardly seemed worried at all and here Kurt was almost having a panic attack because of it.
“Kurt!”
And now the whole neighborhood was probably awake thanks to Rachel’s shriek, but Kurt opens his arms gratefully and swings her around, both of them laughing. “It’s only been a week!”
“Far too long,” Rachel tells him, hooking her hand through his arm as they enter the shop and stand in line. “And you’re doing that thing you do when you’re thinking too hard. So once we get our coffees you’re going to tell me everything.”
Kurt debates whether or not he wants to but Rachel, for all that she can be self-centered and rather oblivious, does give good advice from time-to-time and it’s hardly as if she’s going to ever meet Blaine and say the wrong thing in front of him.
So he nods, and they head up to the counter to grab their coffees.
-
“I don’t see what the big deal is,” they’re walking down the street, the sidewalks still mostly deserted because of the chill in the air and the early hour, and he looks at the small girl incredulously while she shrugs. “I’m serious, Kurt. He’s a hot guy, you’re attracted to him, he’s willing to have sex with you…unless you yell out ‘hey, by the way, I’m totally gay!’ in the middle of sex, I don’t think you have to worry,” she’s grinning by this point and Kurt resists the urge to shove her off the sidewalk into a puddle.
“I just…I can’t figure out why he’s taking this better than I am. I mean, he’s the straight one, and yet I’m the one that’s…”
“If it’s just about getting off, maybe he’s not even thinking that hard about it,” she reasons, walking along the edge of the sidewalk.
“You don’t think it’s…bad that I’m doing this? That I’m…” Kurt pauses, shrugs his shoulders, and Rachel shakes her head and crowds in close to him.
“No, Kurt. It’s so much better than deciding you need to have random one-night-stands just to, you know, say you’ve had sex. I know you’re a romantic, but you’ll find him, and you’ll be more experienced for it. This…this isn’t bad, and as long as you’re happy…”
Kurt thinks back to the night before, to being that close to Blaine even if it was only for the briefest amount of time, but he can’t stop the smile that spreads across his face at the memory.
“I am.”
“Then there’s nothing to worry about. And on a different topic: Thanksgiving. What are your plans?” she asks, taking his hand as they make their way around the block back toward where they’d met.
“Oh, the usual. Dinner at home on Thursday and then…”
“Black Friday!” Rachel throws her arms up and Kurt has to stop her from toppling off the sidewalk, so she giggles and clings to him a little. “You, me, Tina…is Mercedes coming in from LA?”
“Last I heard, yes. We’ll have to find the best Lima has to offer,” he rolls his eyes slightly because ‘the best Lima has to offer’ is pretty horrible, but spending time with his girls is never a bad thing. “And we’ll have to meet up with everybody if we can.”
“Yes, definitely. We’ll plan a Breadstix night,” they’ve reached the coffee shop by this time and Rachel reaches up to kiss his cheek, stepping away and clasping her hands in front of her. “It’ll all work out, Kurt. Just don’t…worry so much. Enjoy it,” she says with a grin and a knowing wink. “I’ve got to run to rehearsal but call me later and we can book plane tickets together, okay?”
“I will,” he promises, watching her skip off down the street, and he actually feels better about everything now.
He’ll put that down to being ‘one of the rare times Rachel Berry actually gives useful advice’ and he makes his way back to his dorm, knowing he’ll have to face Blaine today and hoping that he can stay completely nonchalant about everything.
It’s not a big deal anyway, he reminds himself, and maybe if he tells himself that enough times he might start to believe it.
VII.
“What are you checking out?” Blaine plops down next to Kurt on the couch, staring at his laptop screen and trying to sound casual. Kurt’s been strange all day, a little distant, and Blaine’s not sure how to bring it up with him so he’s kept quiet for the most part.
“Hmm? Oh. Plane tickets to Ohio for Thanksgiving,” Kurt mutters, chewing on his lower lip as he clicks through a few pages. “I should have known they’d be expensive for the holiday, but this is insane,” he sighs and eventually seems to find something he deems acceptable, picking up his phone and sending a quick text before he drops it beside him. “Are you going home?”
“For Thanksgiving?” Blaine blinks, because he hasn’t thought about it much. It’s not like holidays at the Anderson household were anything to write home about, and last he’s heard Cooper’s too busy to fly home. So there’s really no point, although he’s kind of sad about that. “I don’t think so. My family’s…” he pauses, because he can’t tell Kurt the real reason, but he can tell him a version of it. “They’re…not happy I’ve chosen to pursue the arts instead of a…a real career, as my father so tastefully calls it,” he wrinkles his nose. “And the last thing I want to do is sit there for a weekend with them judging me the entire time.”
“Oh, Blaine,” Kurt reaches to pat his knee, smiling kindly. “So you’d rather stay here all by yourself, then?” his tone is flippant but he’s back to chewing on his lip, which seems to mean he’s thinking, and Blaine waits for it. “You know, our house in Lima has a spare bedroom. One of my friends, Sam, stays there during the year but he’ll be at home in Kentucky for the weekend. If you want to…” he looks at Blaine, his eyes telling the other boy that he does want Blaine to, and Blaine only hesitates for the briefest of moments before nodding.
“Yeah. That would…I’ll pay for my own ticket and everything, but…thank you,” he rasps, because he’s never had a real family Thanksgiving…at least not with a family like he’s imagined a family to be…and he can’t believe Kurt’s just opening up his home to him.
“I have to warn you, my dad will probably give you the third degree because he’s suspicious like that, but you’ll love my stepbrother. He shares your affinity for violent video games,” he nudges Blaine in the side and the other boy laughs, because he thinks he can handle Mr. Hummel. “And you’ll have to survive two plane rides with Rachel, but dear God if you can get through those I think you’re set for life.”
“I think I’ll manage. Dalton may have been an all-boys school but we had our fair share of drama queens,” he laughs, moving closer still under the pretense of looking at the screen better, and Kurt gives him a sideways glance before relaxing and allowing Blaine to sit close enough that their thighs are pressed together.
Kurt’s phone buzzes at him and he picks it up and sighs, shaking his head with a rueful chuckle. “Looks like we’ll have an entire party heading home. Another friend of ours, Quinn, goes to Yale, and I guess she’s asked if she can get in on the plane tickets before they’re sold out. But as long as you catch her on a good day she’s fairly sane,” Kurt jokes, and Blaine’s starting to think that Kurt’s core group of friends is much more interesting than he’s let on so far.
“Well, the more the merrier, right?” Blaine asks cheerfully and Kurt nods after a moment, although there’s still some hesitation in his movements that Blaine doesn’t feel right asking about.
Kurt’s offered, and he’s accepted, and he’s almost surprised at how much he wants to go spend time with Kurt’s family and friends. He loves his fellow Warblers, of course he does, but there’s nothing wrong with expanding one’s horizons a little, right?
“So I’ll pay you back once we get the tickets, okay?” he asks, too close to Kurt’s ear and he notices the other boy shiver a little before he covers it up and turns to Blaine.
“Sounds good. I’m glad you’re coming,” Kurt hesitates for the briefest of moments before he lets his hand rest on Blaine’s forearm and gives it a gentle squeeze, and Blaine’s not going to think too much about that because it’s just Kurt being friendly.
That’s all it can be.
VIII.
Kurt realizes as soon as Blaine leaves the couch that he’s going to have to do massive damage control, and he’s on-edge until they exit the plane and are walking through the Columbus airport. Frantic e-mails to his friends and family explaining that he’s bringing his roommate home from Thanksgiving and that Blaine thinks he’s straight, so please don’t say anything to the contrary, caused more than a few surprised responses, but he knew they wouldn’t intentionally out him to Blaine.
He still worried about Rachel, although the fact that she and Quinn were across the aisle from Kurt and Blaine made that fear less, and Blaine actually got on rather well with the girls so most of his worries were unfounded.
“Over here, kiddo!” he hears a voice and looks up, a grin spreading across his face before he can help it as he runs across the floor and all but throws himself into his father’s arms.
“Dad!”
Burt chuckles and lifts him up before setting him back down on the floor, smiling and ruffling Kurt’s hair which only earns him a half-hearted glare. “New York’s done you good, Kurt.”
“I’ve missed you,” is what Kurt says in response, because his dad of course looks the same as ever, and he’s pulled away from their reunion by Rachel bounding over to say hello.
“Quinn’s mother said she’ll give me a ride home, so I’ll call you Thursday night and we’ll talk to Mercedes and Tina and figure out where we’re meeting Friday morning, okay?” she reaches up to kiss his cheek and then she’s gone, running after Quinn out the airport doors.
Kurt nearly forgets that Blaine is standing there until the other boy clears his throat, and then he feels a little embarrassed and laughs to cover it up.
“Oh! Dad, this is Blaine Anderson. Blaine, this is my dad, Burt Hummel,” he gestures and Blaine steps forward, a polite smile on his face as he holds out a hand.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Sir, and I’m grateful that you’ve chosen to open your home to me over the holidays…”
“None of that, kid,” Burt grunts, shaking Blaine’s hand heartily before he pats him on the back. “Any friend of Kurt’s is welcome at our place, and ‘Sir’ is way too stuffy for a guy like me. Just ‘Burt’s’ fine,” he promises, and Blaine nods sharply before picking up his suitcase.
“He’s really not that scary,” Kurt whispers as they head out to his dad’s truck, Kurt hopping in the front seat and Blaine squeezing into the small back area of the cab before they start heading back to Lima.
Kurt can tell that his dad approves of Blaine, at least, but since they’re only going to be here for four nights it won’t be that big of a problem even if he doesn’t. Blaine’s manners are impeccable, though, and if Kurt doesn’t have any complains about him as a roommate…well, he has a feeling nobody else in his family will, either.
-
Carole greets Blaine with a hug, warm and comforting, and Kurt can tell by the way he melts into it that he doesn’t get physical affection often and it breaks his heart a little bit because if nothing else Blaine is very tactile and Kurt’s just gotten used to Blaine touching his arm or shoulder or knee when they’re sitting close on the couch.
It’s friendly, of course it is, but he has a feeling that Blaine’s like that with everybody he meets.
“Dude, you’re home!” Kurt squeaks as he’s fully lifted off his feet this time, grabbing onto Finn’s arms and hoping that the giant oaf doesn’t lose his balance and crash into the wall. “I missed you!”
“Yes, you big lug, I’ve missed you, too,” he promises, wrapping his arms around Finn’s shoulders and hugging him tightly. “Now put me down.”
“You’re totally not any fun,” Finn pouts but does as instructed, keeping one arm loosely around Kurt’s shoulders. “So you’re Blaine, huh?”
“Tall,” Blaine rasps, and Finn blinks at him in confusion. “You’re just…you’re really…”
“Oh. Yeah, I kinda am, but you’re, like, super short, so…” he shrugs as if he hasn’t said anything that might offend Blaine and claps him on the back hard enough to make him stumble. “Anyway, your room’s downstairs, so you can take your stuff down if you want, and then Mom should have dinner ready,” he grins and bounds off into the kitchen as Blaine stares after him in shock.
“My stepbrother,” Kurt announces, causing Blaine to emit an awkward laugh. “He’s harmless. Clumsy and unaware how large and strong he is sometimes, but harmless. I do love him, even if I pretend to be annoyed with him sometimes,” he adds, because Finn is…well, Finn, and Kurt loves him dearly for it. Completely platonically at this point, but he’s glad the other boy will always be part of his life.
“So I can just…” Blaine still looks out of place so Kurt nods, picking up the other boy’s bag.
“I’ll take you down and you can…gather yourself before heading back up to eat,” he says softly. Blaine gives him a grateful smile and follows him down the stairs as Kurt lets out a sigh of relief that so far everything is going as well as can be expected.
He just hopes the rest of the weekend will be the same.
IX.
Dinner isn’t as bad as Blaine feared it might be. Carole is wonderful and welcoming and already treats him like one ‘her boys’, as she puts it, and while Burt at first seemed rather gruff and intimidating Blaine can tell how much he loves his family and he’s relaxed during dinner. Finn he’s still figuring out, but while the other boy seems fiercely protective of Kurt he’s also just a teenager like they are (albeit a very large one) and he eats like a human vacuum cleaner, but he makes Blaine promise to watch football and play video games with him the next day and Blaine gladly does.
After they’re finished eating he escapes to the basement to unpack and let Kurt have some time with his family, sitting on the bed and bouncing a little bit as he tries to get used to the feeling of the mattress underneath him. He should be accustomed to it already, really, seeing as how in the past few years he’s spent more time in dorm rooms, first at Dalton and now in New York, than in his own bed anyway, but there’s something about being in a house again that’s strange.
Especially a house where he’s been welcomed and embraced so warmly instead of having judging looks thrown at him every time he’s in the room with his parents, and he lies back on the bed and wriggles out of his shirt before dropping it to the floor, closing his eyes and sighing.
He should really get up and shower, wash the evidence of a day of airplane travel and a long car ride off of him, but he’s too relaxed to care about that.
Relaxed and, he’s almost ashamed to note, a little horny. It makes sense, maybe, because he hasn’t been doing a whole lot of self-pleasure in their shared dorm room, and even though he and Kurt have an arrangement he can tell that the other boy is more than a little hesitant and after that first night he hasn’t come to seek Blaine out.
So it’s no wonder that he’s feeling a little bit unfulfilled, and he’s rather glad that his room is in the basement and nobody will likely come down to disturb him. He sneaks a hand down his chest, rubbing his thumb over one hardening nipple and sighing softly at the feeling. Skimming his fingers over his stomach, he moves down a little farther and cups himself through his pants, bucking up into his own hand.
He almost, almost debates calling Kurt, but if Kurt’s busy with his parents and his step-brother that would look really strange, so it’s probably best if he does this himself for now. By the time he’s got his pants undone and halfway down his legs he knows there’s no backing out, and he’s midway through shoving his underwear down when the door creaks open and Kurt comes in, chattering away about towels and toiletries before he grinds to a halt, his face flushing.
“Oh! Oh. I’ll just, um…I’ll leave you alone,” he’s blushing fiercely, face a dark red, and Blaine stops what he’s doing and half-sits up. He can tell that Kurt needs this as much as he does, even if he’s too proud or too afraid to ask for it, and he swallows heavily and holds his hand out. “B-Blaine?”
“We can…if you want? If we…if we’re still doing that?” he sits up and leans against the headboard, beckoning Kurt closer, and the other boy finally nods and reaches to grip the hem of his shirt before pulling it over his head, Blaine hastening to get undressed and then Kurt’s naked beside him, beautiful and pale and there’s no way Blaine’s going to be able to keep his attraction to him a secret for much longer.
He’s got to try, though.
“What are we…what…” Kurt pulls his knees up to his chest and Blaine realizes that the last time they were at least in their underwear, but since Kurt had mostly walked in on him with his cock hanging out he’s kind of glad they’re both on the same page now, as it were.
“Hey,” Blaine puts a hand on his knee and is inwardly glad when Kurt doesn’t shake him off. “Remember, when it’s just us, we can…we don’t have to be embarrassed or ashamed or anything, because we’re both in the same boat,” he reminds Kurt gently, and it isn’t as if he’s completely comfortable being naked around somebody else, either, but he’s so turned on it’s hard to be self-conscious right now.
“Right,” Kurt hesitates for a moment before he lowers his knees, keeping his gaze averted, and Blaine sneaks a glance at his cock, half-hard and long and pale and as impossibly gorgeous as the rest of him, before he leans in farther. “Are you…”
“I thought I could…with my hand?” he offers. “I mean, girls…they don’t really know what feels good because they can’t do it themselves, right? But if we get practice doing this to each other, it’ll be easier to help our girlfriends out,” the words even sound like a lie to his own ears, and he’s sure Kurt will notice, but either the other boy doesn’t or he doesn’t care because he nods quickly.
“Okay. Hand-jobs. Good,” he moves so he’s sitting up against the pillows and, after another slight hesitation, spreads his legs wider and breaths out slowly through his nose. Blaine leans closer, a little curious, and lets his fingertips brush over the head of Kurt’s cock, the slit already leaking pre-cum and the other boy whines at the contact.
“You’re so loud, Kurt,” he chuckles to himself. “You know your family’s…”
“Sorry,” Kurt whispers, flushing from more than just arousal now. “I just…I can’t…”
“It’s okay,” Blaine gets hit with a sudden inspiration and he’s off the bed, digging through his suitcase and coming up with the one regular tie he’s brought along (just in case something more formal came up, but he’ll make do with bow-ties if he has to). “Kurt, I need to ask…” he hesitates, shifting the fabric in his hands. Normally, he thinks, if his partner was too noisy he’d just keep kissing them to keep them quiet, but they’d agreed on no kissing and he’s going to honor that.
Still…
“What are you…what’s that for?” Kurt’s eyes are wide and impossibly blue and Blaine crawls back onto the bed. “Are you…”
“Only if you let me,” Blaine tries to keep his voice soothing, running his hand down Kurt’s arm and taking his hand for a brief moment. “Just…so your family doesn’t hear anything. Okay?”
“Okay,” Kurt nods sharply, fear creeping into his features, and Blaine really wants to kiss him and tell him that it’s fine but he can’t so he pulls the fabric of the tie taut between his hands, lifting it up as Kurt obligingly opens his mouth and tying it off as tightly as he dares behind the taller man’s head.
“Is that okay? Too tight?”
Kurt shakes his head, mumbling something inaudible, and Blaine’s glad at least that his idea’s going to work.
“Trust me,” he says again, hoping against hope that even though he can’t kiss Kurt on the lips, Kurt will let him do other things to him. “This is supposed to be enjoyable, right?”
A sharp nod.
“Then enjoy this, and as soon as you leave the room, it’s like it never happened,” he pushes Kurt back, smiling when Kurt reaches to grab his shoulders, seeming to need that connection. Blaine presses an open-mouthed kiss to his shoulder, careful not to do anything that will leave marks Kurt has to explain, and he hears the other boy inhale sharply. “Is that…too much? Can I…”
Kurt nods again and Blaine takes him at his word, scattering kisses down his chest and flat stomach before he pulls himself up again and straddles Kurt’s hips, holding him down as Kurt moans around the gag.
Blaine’s hand is damp with sweat when he wraps it around Kurt’s cock for the first time, amazed at the silkiness of his skin and the weight of holding it in his hand. Kurt’s eyes are glassy, half-closed and his breathing is ragged, fingers digging into Blaine’s arms as he strokes up slowly and Kurt thrashes against his hold.
“Does that feel good?” Blaine tries to keep his voice as neutral as possible. He rubs his thumb over the slit and Kurt groans, so he takes that to mean that he’s doing something right. “I still want to go quickly in case your parents come down,” he warns before starting to move his hand, flicking his wrist at the end of every upstroke and watching Kurt’s eyelashes flutter as he gives into the pleasure.
Blaine has to bite his lip to keep from saying the things he wants to: that Kurt’s so fucking hot he has no idea, that he looks amazing like this, that Blaine wants everything with him because he’s falling for this boy and he’s falling really fast.
But he doesn’t. He keeps his concentration locked on what he’s doing, his free hand idly rubbing at Kurt’s chest and touching whatever skin he can, and he feels Kurt’s entire body tighten up like a drawn bowstring two strokes before he’s coming, eyes wide and making sharp little muffled grunting noises.
Blaine works him through it, stroking him slowly until Kurt flinches and whines something that’s probably a command to stop, and Blaine pulls his hand away and grabs a tissue to wipe it off on before he reaches up to undo the gag, the tie ruined and wet with saliva as Kurt pants and looks at him fuzzily.
“Was that…um…”
Kurt only nods, reaching forward and pulling him into a hug in a rare show of affection. Blaine hugs him back, almost too tightly, and when he feels Kurt’s hand snake between their bodies he bucks his hips toward it and hides his groan in Kurt’s shoulder.
“Can we…like this?” Kurt asks, and Blaine can only nod, because he really doesn’t care as long as he gets to come. “Okay.”
“Okay,” he repeats, kissing Kurt’s shoulder again and feeling the other man wrap him up a little tighter as he starts to move his hand faster.
He is so, so fucked.
Part Two
Author: AoiTsukikage
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairing: Klaine
Chapters: 18/18
Word Count: ~20,700
Spoilers: Nothing specific
Summary: Written for a GKM prompt. Blaine and Kurt meet in college when they share a dorm room together. Both of them are hiding their sexuality, but since neither is getting any action elsewhere, they enter into a friends-with-benefits type of relationship. Eventually it goes a little too far to be just ‘bros helping bros’ and the truth has to come out.
Crossing the Line
I.
“You must be Kurt!”
Kurt turns at the rather enthusiastic voice, plastering a smile onto his face and jamming his hands into the pockets of his hoodie (he’ll give up fashion for a while, just until he finds out if his new roommate is a homophobic jerk) and studies the man in front of him.
He’s…short, Kurt thinks, short and wearing clothes that he hadn’t realized anybody under the age of about seventy-five owned, but for some reason the cardigan and slicked-back hair suit him, and Kurt can instantly see that his happy welcome isn’t an act.
His eyes are damn near sparkling, wide and open and Kurt spends far too much time trying to decipher the ever-swirling hazel-brown-green-gold of them before he realizes he’s being rude and sticks out a hand, adapting a casual posture and trying not to give off any strange vibes.
“Yeah,” he mutters, keeping his voice lower-pitched than normal, and the boy grins and pumps his hand heartily.
“I’m Blaine. Blaine Anderson. Guess we’re roommates, huh?” he steps back so Kurt can see into the dorm, and it’s rather basic and small. The entrance leads into a tiny kitchen/living room, barely enough space to get a table and couch in, and three doors at the back end head toward what Kurt assumes are the bedrooms and bathroom.
Well, it’s not luxury, but it’ll do, he supposes.
Anything to get out of Lima and into New York, and after NYADA had decided to accept Rachel and not him, he guesses that NYU isn’t a bad second choice, all things considered.
“Guess so,” Kurt grumbles, pulling his suitcase into the room behind him. “Which bedroom…”
“Oh, that one,” Blaine points and Kurt nods his thanks, slipping into the room and heaving a sigh as he leans against the door. He’s glad to see there’s a mirror hanging on the back of it, at least it means he can do his morning and night routines without Blaine seeing his countless jars of creams and moisturizers.
Closing his eyes, he sinks onto the bed with a groan, wondering if he’s doing the right thing. Yes, he knows New York is more accepting than Lima, but there’s a giant difference between going to school with somebody who likes guys and actually living with one. It had taken Finn long enough to warm up to it, after all, and while now he and Rachel and the rest of Kurt’s friends are obviously a little disapproving that Kurt’s proverbially ‘back in the closet’, he doesn’t feel comfortable being his fabulous self right off the bat.
Maybe one day, if he’s really sure he won’t get any trouble because of it.
He leans back farther on the bed, trying not to think about the state of the mattress (he’ll have to do a thorough cleaning of everything later, when Blaine’s not around to judge him) as he sighs and curls up on himself.
He’s here, in New York, doing something that he knows he’ll love, with a roommate that didn’t hate him at first sight.
All things considered, it could be a lot worse.
-
Blaine watches the (admittedly gorgeous) boy head into his bedroom and tries to calm himself down. Kurt seems normal enough, likes to keep to himself if immediately disappearing is any indication, and Blaine just hopes he hasn’t come on too strongly because he has a tendency to do that when he gets nervous.
He knows that he’s taking a risk even wearing the clothes he’s used to wearing at home, but he can’t hide every part of himself and all of the guys at Dalton had told him over and over again that he can pass for straight anyway.
So he’s taking their word for it and trying to blend in as best he can. He knows that not everywhere is like his old school, and that around here people should be a little more open-minded about sexuality, but he also knows not every place is like Dalton, either, and he’ll be the first to admit that he’s been…sheltered the last few years.
It doesn’t erase the memories of lying broken and battered on the ground, however, and if he has a choice, he’d rather hide who he is than go through all of that again.
His parents will be happy about it, probably, but then he’s never been quite sure what he can do to make them like him more.
He heads into his own bedroom and pulls up his class schedule, clicking his tongue as he reads it over and memorizes where he has to go for the next morning. He has no idea what Kurt is majoring in, or if they can help each other out in that department, but it’s nice to have somebody to come home to (and that his roommate is unfairly attractive is just a plus, he supposes).
By the time he’s headed back into the front room and collapses onto the couch, Kurt’s out of his bedroom, walking the tiny space as if he’s searching for something.
“What…” Blaine starts, his voice loud in the stillness, and Kurt flinches a little before he looks over with a glare. “Sorry. What are you majoring in?”
There’s a pause, and Kurt looks almost afraid to answer, but he finally shrugs and tucks his hands in the side pockets of his jeans, all casual elegance.
“Musical theatre,” he raises his chin as if daring Blaine to judge him but Blaine huffs a tiny, relieved sigh and smiles.
“Really? Maybe that’s why they’ve got us rooming together, then.”
“So you’re…” Kurt’s brow furrows before he lets his face relax, nodding sharply. “Well, it’s nice to know somebody else in the program.”
“Likewise,” Blaine replies, shifting over on the couch and gesturing for Kurt to sit, which he does after a few tense seconds. “So, tell me a little about yourself?”
“What is this, honesty hour?” Kurt snorts, but he looks unconcerned as he replies, “I’m from Ohio. Lima, to be more specific. My father and step-mother and step-brother still live there, and I auditioned for NYADA with Rachel, my…” he pauses, and Blaine wonders what he was going to say before he obviously changes his mind, “a girl in the same grade as me. She got in, I didn’t, NYU was my second choice,” he sniffs, looking back at Blaine. “You?”
“I’m from Ohio, too,” Blaine settles on saying. “Westerville. My mom and dad still live there, but I’ve got an older brother who lives in LA. Trying to make it as an actor,” he laughs quietly to himself, because Cooper had dramatically clutched his chest and slumped to the floor when he’d heard Blaine was not only going to New York, but wanting to be on Broadway, although Blaine’s got a tiny hunch that he might make it bigger than Cooper ever has. “I d-don’t know if you did…anything with the theatre back home, but I was in Dalton’s Glee Club,” he knows that might be overstepping but Kurt for the first time actually looks at him.
“A Warbler?” he laughs. “I think we competed against you a couple of times. McKinley High, New Directions,” he settles back into the sofa, looking much more at ease now.
“National Champion New Directions?” Blaine leans forward because everybody around their corner of Ohio had heard about that one when it had happened. “Wait, Rachel isn’t that tiny thing with the great voice and an ego you can see from space, is she?” he almost dreads the answer because he remembers her, and her undeniable talent, but he has a feeling she’s not the easiest person to be around.
“Got it in one,” Kurt rolls his eyes dramatically and Blaine thinks he could give Cooper a run for his money in the drama department, but from then on in the conversation flows easily, although there are times both of them seem to hesitate for just a second too long, like they’re finding the words to say.
Blaine figures it’s just because Kurt seems a little guarded, while for him it’s because he’s trying to make himself seem as straight as possible.
It’s not going to be easy, but right now, it’s the only thing he can do.
II.
The first day of classes is hectic and Hellish, Kurt feeling exhausted by the end and wondering how he’s going to make it through years of this program if this is how he’s reacting after only a day. He takes solace in the fact that Blaine looks nearly as wiped as he does and when the other boy suggests going to a nearby all-ages bar to wind down Kurt accepts without a second thought.
It’s noisy, and crowded, because apparently half the campus has had the same idea as them, but they manage to find a table a little out of the way and order their (non-alcoholic, of course) drinks, and Blaine looks like he’s not quite sure how to start the conversation so Kurt blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind.
“So, tell me about your love life,” he regrets it almost instantly because Blaine starts to choke on his drink, but he recovers quickly and wipes a hand across his nose, blushing a little.
“Sorry, I just…there’s not much to tell,” Blaine idly plays with his straw, swirling the ice cubes in his Coke around as he frowns down at the table. “Dalton’s an all-boys school, and yes, we saw….we had a sister-school that we had…co-ed dances and things, but I was never really the type to, you know,” he looks surprised by his own words and Kurt has to stifle a smile behind his hand because it’s obvious Blaine’s out of his depth here. “I mean, there was this one time…after a dance. I took this girl from the other school and we ended up making out in the back of a car,” he shrugs, like it’s no big deal, and Kurt has the distinct feeling Blaine’s hiding something from him.
“Blaine, if you’ve never done anything with a girl it’s nothing to be ashamed of,” he smiles, because at least he can tell the truth if Blaine asks him back (which of course he will).
“It happened,” Blaine replies petulantly, but Kurt’s really starting to doubt it. “But what about you, huh? Leave the ladies of Lima crying?”
“No, that was my step-brother’s best friend,” Kurt laughed dryly. “I had a girlfriend for a while, one of the cheerleaders, but it just…she was sweet, and beautiful, but she’d been involved with pretty much everybody in the school and I guess I’m old-fashioned, but I’m…”
“Waiting for the right person?” Blaine guesses, and Kurt nods, glad that (even though he hasn’t told the entire truth) Blaine understands. “So that’s your type, then? Cheerleaders?” he asks, sounding a little hesitant, and Kurt shakes his head.
“Not really. She was cute, and available, and she offered, and I didn’t see any reason to turn her down, but that’s…it was fun,” he admits with a tiny shrug, even though it really hadn’t been. Brittany’s a sweetheart, but kissing her wasn’t one of the greatest experiences of his life, and he’d still like to believe that…when he gets his first real kiss…things will be different.
Or else he can’t quite see why people like kissing so much.
“So what is?” Blaine’s hands were gripping his glass tightly, eyes blinking rapidly.
“My type?” Kurt asks in surprise, because he’s never really thought about it (of course not with girls, but even with guys). “I’m not really sure. I think I’m probably more attracted to, you know, personality than any…physical features,” he decides on, because the one thing he’s realized is that if somebody is actively kind to him, there’s a much greater chance he’ll fall for them. Yes, Finn and Sam have other similarities, but the main reason his…infatuation with Finn had been as long-lived as it had was because Finn treated him like a person and not just ‘the weird gay kid that deserves to get syrup and ice thrown in his face every day’, and at the time, that had been exactly what he’d needed. “What about you?”
“Oh, I…” Blaine stammers, looking away and then down, and Kurt decides to take pity on him because it’s obvious that Blaine’s not like all the guys from back home who couldn’t look past a good pair of breasts. And Kurt appreciates that, he really does, because most of the straight guys he knows don’t fit into that category and it’s…refreshing to meet somebody who does.
“Okay, how about this. Look around and pick out a girl in this bar, the first one that really catches your eye,” Kurt leans forward, his own eyes scanning the bar for somebody suitable in case Blaine throws the question back at him, and he sees Blaine’s eyes darting around the space before he vaguely gestures to a nondescript young woman sitting at the counter.
“Her, I guess,” his eyes dart away and Kurt can tell that it’s uncomfortable for him, so he doesn’t press the issue any farther.
“It’s fine. I guess going to an all-boys school you never had much of a chance to find out what you like,” he shrugs and leans back, trying to adopt the most casual pose he can (although since most straight guys he know seem to sit with their legs as far apart as they can be he’s at a loss because no, he’s not going there right now).
“Yeah,” Blaine agrees, looking relieved, and the topic turns much more mundane after that, about school and their dorm room and their old Glee Clubs and whether they should buy any groceries for their little kitchen, and Kurt was quickly finding that aside from being extremely handsome, Blaine was incredibly intelligent and he’s really going to have to work at not letting it show that he might be a little too interested in what his roommate has to say.
-
Kurt realizes the next morning that maybe he shouldn’t be so surprised when he wanders into the kitchen to find Blaine half-naked, sweats riding low on his hips and hair a mess of curls that’s infinitely more attractive than the slicked-back look he seems to favor, rooting around in the cupboards for some cereal.
The bathroom schedule had been mercifully easy to work out because with Kurt doing most of his routine in his bedroom he doesn’t need to spend much time in there, and Blaine isn’t taking a whole lot of time either so, for the time being, Kurt’s glad that they’re compatible.
Still, he tries to keep his eyes from roving over Blaine’s surprisingly toned body and smooth olive skin, because straight guys are always half-naked around each other and it’s no big deal so he can’t turn this into one.
“Hey,” he murmurs, and Blaine looks up and grins.
“Morning, Kurt,” he turns and oh, God, he’s got abs and his entire body is small and compact and he looks strong and he’s maybe got the most defined hipbones Kurt’s ever seen and he kind of wants to run his tongue along…he shakes his head, trying to get his mind out of the proverbial gutter before he makes a fool of himself. “Want some cereal?” he shakes the box, something sugary that Kurt normally wouldn’t come within ten feet of, but his throat’s managed to close up so he merely nods and Blaine hums to himself as he pours out a couple of bowls, Kurt sinking into a chair at their tiny table and wondering just how screwed one person can be.
-
Blaine’s shaking when he makes it back into his room after breakfast, wondering what had possessed him to make him think walking around without a shirt in front of a guy that he thinks is beautiful is a good idea.
Probably just to prove his ‘straightness’, he reasons with a grimace, because the guys at Dalton had never had any trouble half-undressing around each other, but Kurt had seemed more than a little taken-aback and he makes a mental note to be fully-clothed around the other boy from now on.
Besides, it’s not like Kurt’s going to suspect anything as long as Blaine keeps up this pretense that the reason he’s never had a real girlfriend is because he never had a chance, and he’s sure that it won’t be a problem between schoolwork and rehearsals and everything this semester, either.
He skims his fingers through his hair, gelling it back into oblivion as always and pulling out a cardigan and a pair of jeans from the closet before he gets dressed, shouldering his bag and nodding to himself in the mirror before he leaves his room and goes to wait for Kurt.
The boy in question sweeps out a few moments later, all perfect hair and clothes that still manage to fit him perfectly although they’re casual and unremarkable, and he gives Blaine a tiny smile as they head off to class together.
III.
Things continue smoothly for a few weeks, both of them settling into their daily routines easily and on the weekends Kurt would go spend time with Rachel and Blaine would usually stay home and either study or Skype with some of his old Warbler friends, and the conversations between them didn’t veer into dangerous territory at any point for which Blaine was grateful for.
But of course, as inevitably happens in college, midway through October somebody announced they were having a party the next weekend and ‘all you bitches better show up or I’m coming to find you and drag you here myself!’ so Kurt and Blaine really have no choice but to go, and what follows is a rather awkward night that Blaine’s not quite sure he wants to remember fully.
All he can recall the next morning, waking up with an arm and a leg thrown over Kurt’s waist and very, very hard to boot, is that Kurt said something about not drinking since an unfortunate incident with his guidance counsellor’s shoes when he was sixteen, and Blaine had decided to go for it regardless (despite knowing that he’s a horrible drunk, the few Warblers parties where he’d indulged had taught him that well enough).
He’s regretting it now, not least of all because as soon as he sits up he knows he’s going to have the worst headache known to mankind and probably will have to rush for the toilet, but also because he’s in Kurt’s bed and he’s never really seen Kurt’s room before and why is he in Kurt’s bed in the first place?!
“Morning,” Kurt sighs next to him and Blaine turns his head slowly to look, blinking owlishly at the other man who’s sleepy and rumpled and Blaine physically has to restrain himself because he doesn’t think he’s ever wanted another person so badly in his life. “Sleep okay?”
“Confused, but yeah. Fine,” Blaine rasps, and Kurt chuckles and slides out from under him.
“I’ll grab you a glass of water and an aspirin. Stay there,” he orders, although Blaine has no plans to move anytime soon as he rolls onto his back and rubs at his eyes, groaning.
Kurt comes back in shortly with the items, Blaine propping himself up enough to swallow down the painkillers before he slumps back on the pillow and grumbles. “What…what happened last night?”
“You drank. A lot,” Kurt says, as if Blaine couldn’t have figured that out himself. “And then you played ‘Spin the Bottle’ with some of the other theatre students and ended up sucking face with some random girl from one of the other dorms,” he teases and Blaine feels himself blush, even though this should be a good thing. He can’t remember any of that, so he’d have had to have been really drunk. “And eventually you kind of fell asleep kissing her so I decided it was time to get you home, and somehow I managed it,” he looks kind of proud of himself and Blaine can’t blame him, because he probably isn’t easy to move when he’s just dead weight.
“Well, um, thank you,” he mumbles, sitting up again and reaching to rub his temples. “Guess I had fun.”
“Seems like it. Don’t move if you’re just going to throw up,” Kurt reaches out, looking like he’s not even thinking about the action, and brushes Blaine’s hair off his forehead as Blaine hums and leans into the touch.
“I didn’t do anything too embarrassing, did I?” he’s almost afraid to ask because he knows that he finds Kurt extremely attractive and his filter goes away completely when he drinks.
“You’re clingy, but that’s about it. It could have been worse,” Kurt moves away again and Blaine almost whines at the lack of warmth. “Go back to sleep, Blaine. I’ll bring a garbage can over just in case you, you know, need it,” he gets up and pulls the can beside his desk over, pulling the blankets up under Blaine’s chin.
“Sorry you have to take care of me,” Blaine yawns, because he’s still really tired and the sheets smell like Kurt and it’s more than a little intoxicating.
“It’s fine. Just…don’t make a habit of it. I’ll be in the living room doing homework if you need me,” Kurt pats his shoulder before getting up and moving away, graceful and silent as he pads out of the room, and Blaine groans and throws his arm up over his face because he could have given everything away last night and he really, really can’t risk Kurt finding out the secrets he’s been keeping.
He’s still sore, though, and his head still hurts and maybe if he goes to sleep he won’t be thinking about his stomach cramping up on him, so he closes his eyes and drifts off almost immediately, hugging Kurt’s pillow to his chest.
-
It’s not exactly easy for Kurt to focus on homework after the night he’s had. Yes, sleeping in bed with Blaine had been completely platonic, but the other man was an extremely friendly drunk and he wouldn’t let go so Kurt had just…decided it would be easier for both of them to share.
Not that it was any great hardship on his part, of course, but he’d rather envisioned his first time sharing a bed with another man would be, well, slightly more romantic than this. And Blaine had seemed perfectly happy making out with that girl, drunk or not, so it’s not like Kurt can really let his imagination get away from him.
He shouldn’t have even been petting Blaine’s hair earlier, although he’d seemed to enjoy it and Kurt knows it always makes him feel better when he’s not feeling his best, so maybe nothing will come of it.
Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he goes back to rifling through his books, knowing he should get started on studying or writing an essay or something, but Blaine’s still in his bed and that’s entirely too distracting a thought.
He needs to let it go, before he does something that makes Blaine get any suspicions about him.
He needs to.
IV.
The breaking point, such as it is, comes at the beginning of November. It’s another one of their program-based party nights, and while neither Blaine nor Kurt is drinking this time, the rest of their classmates certainly are and inevitably, as it always seems to do when a bunch of guys are congregated together, the talk turns toward their sex lives.
For some reason Kurt’s out of the line of fire, sitting a little back and sipping on a glass of Diet Coke, but he watches Blaine get more and more flustered when he can’t answer any of the questions being thrown his way and decides to take pity on him, walking over and seating himself beside the other boy before bringing up the topic of auditions they were having the next week. Blaine gives him a truly grateful smile and he has to smile back, but there’s something tense between them for the rest of the evening.
The next morning Blaine sits down beside him on the couch and exhales heavily, like he’s trying to compose himself, so Kurt turns away from memorizing a monologue and looks at him curiously. “Do you need something?”
“I just…” Blaine squeaks…literally squeaks…and it’s adorable but Kurt has to hide his smile at the sound. “I was…you know, last night. I was thinking,” he scrunches the fabric of his pants in his fists and Kurt has to resist the urge to reach out and calm him down somehow, because he looks incredibly nervous. “Okay. I’m just going to come out and say it and you can tell me I’m crazy afterward. So, college is all about…you know, experimenting, right? And I just thought…since both of us kind of want to wait for the right person, but neither of us has time to find that person with…with school and rehearsals and everything, and it doesn’t have to mean anything this way so we don’t have to worry about emotions or anything, but…”
“Blaine, stop,” Kurt does reach out now, touching Blaine’s arm gently to halt him because he sounds like he’s going to start hyperventilating at any moment. Kurt has an idea of what Blaine’s suggesting, and he has to admit that he’s torn between jumping Blaine right then and there (let’s face it, Blaine’s pretty much perfect boyfriend material) and reminding Blaine that both of them are straight so doing this doesn’t make any sense. “So you’re…saying what? That we become friends with benefits?”
“Kind of,” Blaine lets out his breath in a ‘whoosh’, like he’s happy Kurt hasn’t punched him or something, and his body sinks down into the sofa a little more. “Not really. Just…bros helping bros, you know? We’re both straight, so I’m not saying we…you know,” he makes a vague motion that probably is supposed to indicate sex and Kurt has to stifle a laugh because this is rivalling his father’s ‘you matter’ talk in awkwardness right now. “Just…I thought…it’s stupid, I know that, but…”
“It’s not stupid,” Kurt assures him firmly, not moving his hand from Blaine’s arm. “It isn’t. But I think we have to lay down some ground rules,” he swallows, his throat suddenly dry, because for as much as he wants Blaine…and as much as he would kind of like to see what the big deal about sex is, seeing as how he’s never gotten that much pleasure out of touching himself…he’s still extremely self-conscious and Blaine’s absolutely gorgeous, although he doubts the other boy will really care what he looks like underneath his clothes.
He still cares, even if he knows that to Blaine this is nothing more than being fuck-buddies.
“Yeah. Rules,” Blaine still looks awed that Kurt went for the idea, which Kurt isn’t going to think too hard on, but he can understand being lonely and horny, mostly, so maybe he doesn’t find the whole thing as weird as he should.
Or as weird as he would if he was straight, but since he’s not, and since Blaine’s the one that brought it up in the first place, protesting too much is only going to hurt him right now.
“Okay. No kissing,” Kurt thinks that’s probably a basic rule, but truth be told, as much as he likes Blaine and would have no problem kissing him if they were actually going out, he’d still like his first real kiss to be with somebody that finds him attractive and that he’s attracted to in turn.
“Okay,” Blaine nods easily and Kurt smiles at him. “What else?”
“If either of us are…if it gets too weird, and one of us says ‘stop’, the other does, no questions asked,” he continues, because he doesn’t think he’ll have a problem with anything they do but Blaine might find out pretty quickly that he does.
“Of course,” Blaine furrows his brow for a second like he’s thinking. “Anything else?”
“I think that’s…all I can think of right now,” Kurt admits, because he has no idea what Blaine has in mind for the two of them, but he’s equal parts anxious and excited right now and he should probably go for a walk or something to cool down. “When would you…when do you want…”
“Um,” Blaine blushes and fiddles with the buttons on his cardigan, staring at the coffee table. “Tonight? Maybe? Once we’re done with…homework and everything and it’s…and we won’t be disturbed?” he looks up at Kurt, his hazel eyes wide and innocent and so fucking trusting, and Kurt wonders if this is really okay before he tells himself he can be selfish this time and nods in agreement.
“Okay. Tonight.”
V.
Blaine’s not nearly as nervous as he should be, all things considered. Yes, he’d been a little worried that Kurt wouldn’t take so kindly to his suggestion, but while Blaine can tell he’s got some reservations he also didn’t say ‘no’ and that’s more encouraging than anything.
And yes, Blaine would be lying if he pretended that he isn’t doing this in part because Kurt’s really, insanely attractive and it’s a way to get closer without blowing his cover, but there’s still a risk involved and he needs to make sure he’s in-control of himself…well, relatively in-control of himself…at all times.
He’s waiting for Kurt to come into his room, eyes darting over to the clock because it’s already five minutes past when the other boy’s supposed to show up and Blaine feels a little awkward standing there in just a pair of boxers, arms crossed over his bare chest. He’d figured that being fully nude wouldn’t send the right…message, as it were, and maybe Kurt’s not comfortable with nudity at all (he always seems to be pretty covered up even coming out from a shower) and maybe this is a really bad idea so maybe…
“Hey,” Kurt slips in through the door, luckily dressed down at least a little, but he’s still wearing an undershirt and shifting awkwardly from foot-to-foot, frowning down at the ground and not meeting Blaine’s eyes.
“We don’t have to do this,” Blaine says immediately. “You, ah, don’t look comfortable, and we don’t have to…”
“I’m fine,” Kurt snaps, heaving a breath and then pulling off his undershirt in one fluid motion and holy fuck Blaine has to remind himself not to stare, because Kurt’s gorgeous. No, he’s not overtly muscled, but he’s toned and pale and his skin looks silky-smooth everywhere, his entire body lithe and graceful and Blaine’s hands twitch at his sides before he can stop them. “How are we…doing this?”
“Um, I thought…” Blaine goes to sit on the bed and leans back against some pillows he’d propped up earlier, keeping himself a little upright. “We could…you know, grinding? So that we don’t have to…if you don’t want to be naked…” he trails off helplessly but Kurt’s eyes narrow a little and he’s biting his lip like he’s thinking.
“Okay. That’s acceptable,” he says after a few moments of tense silence, kneeling on the edge of the bed and letting out a shaky breath before he shifts up farther. “So I should…”
“Yeah,” Blaine keeps his hands at his sides, clenched in the bedcovers because he knows he can’t touch Kurt since that would be really weird, but Kurt’s hovering over him now and he’s not sure where they go from here.
It’s undeniably awkward, having Kurt so close but being so careful not to touch each other, and he hears Kurt let out a huff of breath in frustration as his brow furrows and he leans in a little more. “You can…you can touch me,” he almost whispers it, like it’s a source of shame, and Blaine blinks in confusion because he’s not sure how to take this.
“I can…”
“Look, nothing we’re…nothing we’re doing here leaves this room, right?” Kurt looks so earnest and Blaine nods, because he knows it has to be this way even though if he had his own way he’d be telling people all about the gorgeous, witty guy that’s all but agreed to experiment with him.
But he’s ‘straight’, and Kurt’s actually straight, so that’s off the table completely.
“Okay, then. We don’t have to be ashamed of ourselves, or each other, or what we’re doing, and if we’re going to be…engaging in frottage, I’m going to need some help,” he’s blushing almost beet-red by now and it’s utterly adorable, but Blaine takes his cue and knows that Kurt’s embarrassed enough already so he slides his hands up Kurt’s arms, trying not to shiver at all the perfect, silky skin under his fingertips, until he’s gripping the other boy’s shoulders.
“Here, or…”
“My hips,” Kurt looks down now and Blaine’s not going to pressure him, but he obliges, resting his hands just above the waistband of Kurt’s underwear and flexing his fingers slightly. “Okay,” Kurt’s eyes are wide as he finally looks into Blaine’s own, swirling with blue-grey-green and Blaine nods as best he can, a little overwhelmed. “Should I just?”
“Yes,” Blaine chokes out, hoping Kurt takes what’s truly desire on his part to be merely nerves, and it takes him a moment to realize he’s already hard and he wonders if his body’s going to betray his true sexuality after all, but Kurt either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care as he rolls his hips down, making both of them gasp.
“So…do I just…” Kurt’s voice is higher than normal, strained, and Blaine jerks his head in a half-nod and pulls down on Kurt’s hips, trying to get him to keep moving.
Everything after that is hazy, but the absolute pleasure of having another man’s cock pressed to his for the first time…never mind that it’s through two layers of fabric…is turning him on like nothing else ever has and Kurt’s noisy, making these little sub-vocal whines in his throat and humming under his breath as he rolls his hips faster.
Blaine’s going to have masturbatory material for months when this is done, but he realizes with a tiny thrill that he might not need it that often because, straight or not, Kurt’s willing to do this with him, and the thought of going farther…of being completely skin-to-skin with Kurt one day soon…is about all he needs.
He tightens his fingers and hears Kurt gasp in response as his orgasm hits him, gritting his teeth and pressing his forehead to Kurt’s shoulder.
Kurt thrusts down a couple more times, any semblance of rhythm gone, and then his whole body goes stiff. Blaine holds his hips down, keeping that friction going for him, and Kurt all but collapses on his chest when he’s spent, sweat-sticky and too hot but Blaine loves it.
“Well,” he breathes out, hearing Kurt groan something in response, and he’s trying to think of what else to say when Kurt jumps back as if he’s been burned, snatching his shirt up and giving Blaine a bare ghost of a smile before he’s darting from the room.
Blaine hears the shower start a moment later and knows he’ll need to take one when Kurt’s finished, and maybe he should be freaking out a little more too because he’s just had sex for the first time, but he’s hazy-content and he flops back on his pillows, a no-doubt dopey smile on his face.
He needs to talk to Kurt later, make sure the other boy is still okay with everything, but this whole friends-with-benefits thing?
Maybe it’s going to be wonderful after all.
VI.
Kurt doesn’t talk to Blaine that night, and the next morning he’s out of the dorms before the other boy’s woken up, rubbing his hands in the brisk morning air as he waits for Rachel to meet him at the coffee shop.
Maybe it’s childish, but he’s just lost his proverbial virginity and it’s kind of a big deal although Blaine had been…well, certainly not as hesitant as Kurt would have thought, but he’d hardly seemed worried at all and here Kurt was almost having a panic attack because of it.
“Kurt!”
And now the whole neighborhood was probably awake thanks to Rachel’s shriek, but Kurt opens his arms gratefully and swings her around, both of them laughing. “It’s only been a week!”
“Far too long,” Rachel tells him, hooking her hand through his arm as they enter the shop and stand in line. “And you’re doing that thing you do when you’re thinking too hard. So once we get our coffees you’re going to tell me everything.”
Kurt debates whether or not he wants to but Rachel, for all that she can be self-centered and rather oblivious, does give good advice from time-to-time and it’s hardly as if she’s going to ever meet Blaine and say the wrong thing in front of him.
So he nods, and they head up to the counter to grab their coffees.
-
“I don’t see what the big deal is,” they’re walking down the street, the sidewalks still mostly deserted because of the chill in the air and the early hour, and he looks at the small girl incredulously while she shrugs. “I’m serious, Kurt. He’s a hot guy, you’re attracted to him, he’s willing to have sex with you…unless you yell out ‘hey, by the way, I’m totally gay!’ in the middle of sex, I don’t think you have to worry,” she’s grinning by this point and Kurt resists the urge to shove her off the sidewalk into a puddle.
“I just…I can’t figure out why he’s taking this better than I am. I mean, he’s the straight one, and yet I’m the one that’s…”
“If it’s just about getting off, maybe he’s not even thinking that hard about it,” she reasons, walking along the edge of the sidewalk.
“You don’t think it’s…bad that I’m doing this? That I’m…” Kurt pauses, shrugs his shoulders, and Rachel shakes her head and crowds in close to him.
“No, Kurt. It’s so much better than deciding you need to have random one-night-stands just to, you know, say you’ve had sex. I know you’re a romantic, but you’ll find him, and you’ll be more experienced for it. This…this isn’t bad, and as long as you’re happy…”
Kurt thinks back to the night before, to being that close to Blaine even if it was only for the briefest amount of time, but he can’t stop the smile that spreads across his face at the memory.
“I am.”
“Then there’s nothing to worry about. And on a different topic: Thanksgiving. What are your plans?” she asks, taking his hand as they make their way around the block back toward where they’d met.
“Oh, the usual. Dinner at home on Thursday and then…”
“Black Friday!” Rachel throws her arms up and Kurt has to stop her from toppling off the sidewalk, so she giggles and clings to him a little. “You, me, Tina…is Mercedes coming in from LA?”
“Last I heard, yes. We’ll have to find the best Lima has to offer,” he rolls his eyes slightly because ‘the best Lima has to offer’ is pretty horrible, but spending time with his girls is never a bad thing. “And we’ll have to meet up with everybody if we can.”
“Yes, definitely. We’ll plan a Breadstix night,” they’ve reached the coffee shop by this time and Rachel reaches up to kiss his cheek, stepping away and clasping her hands in front of her. “It’ll all work out, Kurt. Just don’t…worry so much. Enjoy it,” she says with a grin and a knowing wink. “I’ve got to run to rehearsal but call me later and we can book plane tickets together, okay?”
“I will,” he promises, watching her skip off down the street, and he actually feels better about everything now.
He’ll put that down to being ‘one of the rare times Rachel Berry actually gives useful advice’ and he makes his way back to his dorm, knowing he’ll have to face Blaine today and hoping that he can stay completely nonchalant about everything.
It’s not a big deal anyway, he reminds himself, and maybe if he tells himself that enough times he might start to believe it.
VII.
“What are you checking out?” Blaine plops down next to Kurt on the couch, staring at his laptop screen and trying to sound casual. Kurt’s been strange all day, a little distant, and Blaine’s not sure how to bring it up with him so he’s kept quiet for the most part.
“Hmm? Oh. Plane tickets to Ohio for Thanksgiving,” Kurt mutters, chewing on his lower lip as he clicks through a few pages. “I should have known they’d be expensive for the holiday, but this is insane,” he sighs and eventually seems to find something he deems acceptable, picking up his phone and sending a quick text before he drops it beside him. “Are you going home?”
“For Thanksgiving?” Blaine blinks, because he hasn’t thought about it much. It’s not like holidays at the Anderson household were anything to write home about, and last he’s heard Cooper’s too busy to fly home. So there’s really no point, although he’s kind of sad about that. “I don’t think so. My family’s…” he pauses, because he can’t tell Kurt the real reason, but he can tell him a version of it. “They’re…not happy I’ve chosen to pursue the arts instead of a…a real career, as my father so tastefully calls it,” he wrinkles his nose. “And the last thing I want to do is sit there for a weekend with them judging me the entire time.”
“Oh, Blaine,” Kurt reaches to pat his knee, smiling kindly. “So you’d rather stay here all by yourself, then?” his tone is flippant but he’s back to chewing on his lip, which seems to mean he’s thinking, and Blaine waits for it. “You know, our house in Lima has a spare bedroom. One of my friends, Sam, stays there during the year but he’ll be at home in Kentucky for the weekend. If you want to…” he looks at Blaine, his eyes telling the other boy that he does want Blaine to, and Blaine only hesitates for the briefest of moments before nodding.
“Yeah. That would…I’ll pay for my own ticket and everything, but…thank you,” he rasps, because he’s never had a real family Thanksgiving…at least not with a family like he’s imagined a family to be…and he can’t believe Kurt’s just opening up his home to him.
“I have to warn you, my dad will probably give you the third degree because he’s suspicious like that, but you’ll love my stepbrother. He shares your affinity for violent video games,” he nudges Blaine in the side and the other boy laughs, because he thinks he can handle Mr. Hummel. “And you’ll have to survive two plane rides with Rachel, but dear God if you can get through those I think you’re set for life.”
“I think I’ll manage. Dalton may have been an all-boys school but we had our fair share of drama queens,” he laughs, moving closer still under the pretense of looking at the screen better, and Kurt gives him a sideways glance before relaxing and allowing Blaine to sit close enough that their thighs are pressed together.
Kurt’s phone buzzes at him and he picks it up and sighs, shaking his head with a rueful chuckle. “Looks like we’ll have an entire party heading home. Another friend of ours, Quinn, goes to Yale, and I guess she’s asked if she can get in on the plane tickets before they’re sold out. But as long as you catch her on a good day she’s fairly sane,” Kurt jokes, and Blaine’s starting to think that Kurt’s core group of friends is much more interesting than he’s let on so far.
“Well, the more the merrier, right?” Blaine asks cheerfully and Kurt nods after a moment, although there’s still some hesitation in his movements that Blaine doesn’t feel right asking about.
Kurt’s offered, and he’s accepted, and he’s almost surprised at how much he wants to go spend time with Kurt’s family and friends. He loves his fellow Warblers, of course he does, but there’s nothing wrong with expanding one’s horizons a little, right?
“So I’ll pay you back once we get the tickets, okay?” he asks, too close to Kurt’s ear and he notices the other boy shiver a little before he covers it up and turns to Blaine.
“Sounds good. I’m glad you’re coming,” Kurt hesitates for the briefest of moments before he lets his hand rest on Blaine’s forearm and gives it a gentle squeeze, and Blaine’s not going to think too much about that because it’s just Kurt being friendly.
That’s all it can be.
VIII.
Kurt realizes as soon as Blaine leaves the couch that he’s going to have to do massive damage control, and he’s on-edge until they exit the plane and are walking through the Columbus airport. Frantic e-mails to his friends and family explaining that he’s bringing his roommate home from Thanksgiving and that Blaine thinks he’s straight, so please don’t say anything to the contrary, caused more than a few surprised responses, but he knew they wouldn’t intentionally out him to Blaine.
He still worried about Rachel, although the fact that she and Quinn were across the aisle from Kurt and Blaine made that fear less, and Blaine actually got on rather well with the girls so most of his worries were unfounded.
“Over here, kiddo!” he hears a voice and looks up, a grin spreading across his face before he can help it as he runs across the floor and all but throws himself into his father’s arms.
“Dad!”
Burt chuckles and lifts him up before setting him back down on the floor, smiling and ruffling Kurt’s hair which only earns him a half-hearted glare. “New York’s done you good, Kurt.”
“I’ve missed you,” is what Kurt says in response, because his dad of course looks the same as ever, and he’s pulled away from their reunion by Rachel bounding over to say hello.
“Quinn’s mother said she’ll give me a ride home, so I’ll call you Thursday night and we’ll talk to Mercedes and Tina and figure out where we’re meeting Friday morning, okay?” she reaches up to kiss his cheek and then she’s gone, running after Quinn out the airport doors.
Kurt nearly forgets that Blaine is standing there until the other boy clears his throat, and then he feels a little embarrassed and laughs to cover it up.
“Oh! Dad, this is Blaine Anderson. Blaine, this is my dad, Burt Hummel,” he gestures and Blaine steps forward, a polite smile on his face as he holds out a hand.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Sir, and I’m grateful that you’ve chosen to open your home to me over the holidays…”
“None of that, kid,” Burt grunts, shaking Blaine’s hand heartily before he pats him on the back. “Any friend of Kurt’s is welcome at our place, and ‘Sir’ is way too stuffy for a guy like me. Just ‘Burt’s’ fine,” he promises, and Blaine nods sharply before picking up his suitcase.
“He’s really not that scary,” Kurt whispers as they head out to his dad’s truck, Kurt hopping in the front seat and Blaine squeezing into the small back area of the cab before they start heading back to Lima.
Kurt can tell that his dad approves of Blaine, at least, but since they’re only going to be here for four nights it won’t be that big of a problem even if he doesn’t. Blaine’s manners are impeccable, though, and if Kurt doesn’t have any complains about him as a roommate…well, he has a feeling nobody else in his family will, either.
-
Carole greets Blaine with a hug, warm and comforting, and Kurt can tell by the way he melts into it that he doesn’t get physical affection often and it breaks his heart a little bit because if nothing else Blaine is very tactile and Kurt’s just gotten used to Blaine touching his arm or shoulder or knee when they’re sitting close on the couch.
It’s friendly, of course it is, but he has a feeling that Blaine’s like that with everybody he meets.
“Dude, you’re home!” Kurt squeaks as he’s fully lifted off his feet this time, grabbing onto Finn’s arms and hoping that the giant oaf doesn’t lose his balance and crash into the wall. “I missed you!”
“Yes, you big lug, I’ve missed you, too,” he promises, wrapping his arms around Finn’s shoulders and hugging him tightly. “Now put me down.”
“You’re totally not any fun,” Finn pouts but does as instructed, keeping one arm loosely around Kurt’s shoulders. “So you’re Blaine, huh?”
“Tall,” Blaine rasps, and Finn blinks at him in confusion. “You’re just…you’re really…”
“Oh. Yeah, I kinda am, but you’re, like, super short, so…” he shrugs as if he hasn’t said anything that might offend Blaine and claps him on the back hard enough to make him stumble. “Anyway, your room’s downstairs, so you can take your stuff down if you want, and then Mom should have dinner ready,” he grins and bounds off into the kitchen as Blaine stares after him in shock.
“My stepbrother,” Kurt announces, causing Blaine to emit an awkward laugh. “He’s harmless. Clumsy and unaware how large and strong he is sometimes, but harmless. I do love him, even if I pretend to be annoyed with him sometimes,” he adds, because Finn is…well, Finn, and Kurt loves him dearly for it. Completely platonically at this point, but he’s glad the other boy will always be part of his life.
“So I can just…” Blaine still looks out of place so Kurt nods, picking up the other boy’s bag.
“I’ll take you down and you can…gather yourself before heading back up to eat,” he says softly. Blaine gives him a grateful smile and follows him down the stairs as Kurt lets out a sigh of relief that so far everything is going as well as can be expected.
He just hopes the rest of the weekend will be the same.
IX.
Dinner isn’t as bad as Blaine feared it might be. Carole is wonderful and welcoming and already treats him like one ‘her boys’, as she puts it, and while Burt at first seemed rather gruff and intimidating Blaine can tell how much he loves his family and he’s relaxed during dinner. Finn he’s still figuring out, but while the other boy seems fiercely protective of Kurt he’s also just a teenager like they are (albeit a very large one) and he eats like a human vacuum cleaner, but he makes Blaine promise to watch football and play video games with him the next day and Blaine gladly does.
After they’re finished eating he escapes to the basement to unpack and let Kurt have some time with his family, sitting on the bed and bouncing a little bit as he tries to get used to the feeling of the mattress underneath him. He should be accustomed to it already, really, seeing as how in the past few years he’s spent more time in dorm rooms, first at Dalton and now in New York, than in his own bed anyway, but there’s something about being in a house again that’s strange.
Especially a house where he’s been welcomed and embraced so warmly instead of having judging looks thrown at him every time he’s in the room with his parents, and he lies back on the bed and wriggles out of his shirt before dropping it to the floor, closing his eyes and sighing.
He should really get up and shower, wash the evidence of a day of airplane travel and a long car ride off of him, but he’s too relaxed to care about that.
Relaxed and, he’s almost ashamed to note, a little horny. It makes sense, maybe, because he hasn’t been doing a whole lot of self-pleasure in their shared dorm room, and even though he and Kurt have an arrangement he can tell that the other boy is more than a little hesitant and after that first night he hasn’t come to seek Blaine out.
So it’s no wonder that he’s feeling a little bit unfulfilled, and he’s rather glad that his room is in the basement and nobody will likely come down to disturb him. He sneaks a hand down his chest, rubbing his thumb over one hardening nipple and sighing softly at the feeling. Skimming his fingers over his stomach, he moves down a little farther and cups himself through his pants, bucking up into his own hand.
He almost, almost debates calling Kurt, but if Kurt’s busy with his parents and his step-brother that would look really strange, so it’s probably best if he does this himself for now. By the time he’s got his pants undone and halfway down his legs he knows there’s no backing out, and he’s midway through shoving his underwear down when the door creaks open and Kurt comes in, chattering away about towels and toiletries before he grinds to a halt, his face flushing.
“Oh! Oh. I’ll just, um…I’ll leave you alone,” he’s blushing fiercely, face a dark red, and Blaine stops what he’s doing and half-sits up. He can tell that Kurt needs this as much as he does, even if he’s too proud or too afraid to ask for it, and he swallows heavily and holds his hand out. “B-Blaine?”
“We can…if you want? If we…if we’re still doing that?” he sits up and leans against the headboard, beckoning Kurt closer, and the other boy finally nods and reaches to grip the hem of his shirt before pulling it over his head, Blaine hastening to get undressed and then Kurt’s naked beside him, beautiful and pale and there’s no way Blaine’s going to be able to keep his attraction to him a secret for much longer.
He’s got to try, though.
“What are we…what…” Kurt pulls his knees up to his chest and Blaine realizes that the last time they were at least in their underwear, but since Kurt had mostly walked in on him with his cock hanging out he’s kind of glad they’re both on the same page now, as it were.
“Hey,” Blaine puts a hand on his knee and is inwardly glad when Kurt doesn’t shake him off. “Remember, when it’s just us, we can…we don’t have to be embarrassed or ashamed or anything, because we’re both in the same boat,” he reminds Kurt gently, and it isn’t as if he’s completely comfortable being naked around somebody else, either, but he’s so turned on it’s hard to be self-conscious right now.
“Right,” Kurt hesitates for a moment before he lowers his knees, keeping his gaze averted, and Blaine sneaks a glance at his cock, half-hard and long and pale and as impossibly gorgeous as the rest of him, before he leans in farther. “Are you…”
“I thought I could…with my hand?” he offers. “I mean, girls…they don’t really know what feels good because they can’t do it themselves, right? But if we get practice doing this to each other, it’ll be easier to help our girlfriends out,” the words even sound like a lie to his own ears, and he’s sure Kurt will notice, but either the other boy doesn’t or he doesn’t care because he nods quickly.
“Okay. Hand-jobs. Good,” he moves so he’s sitting up against the pillows and, after another slight hesitation, spreads his legs wider and breaths out slowly through his nose. Blaine leans closer, a little curious, and lets his fingertips brush over the head of Kurt’s cock, the slit already leaking pre-cum and the other boy whines at the contact.
“You’re so loud, Kurt,” he chuckles to himself. “You know your family’s…”
“Sorry,” Kurt whispers, flushing from more than just arousal now. “I just…I can’t…”
“It’s okay,” Blaine gets hit with a sudden inspiration and he’s off the bed, digging through his suitcase and coming up with the one regular tie he’s brought along (just in case something more formal came up, but he’ll make do with bow-ties if he has to). “Kurt, I need to ask…” he hesitates, shifting the fabric in his hands. Normally, he thinks, if his partner was too noisy he’d just keep kissing them to keep them quiet, but they’d agreed on no kissing and he’s going to honor that.
Still…
“What are you…what’s that for?” Kurt’s eyes are wide and impossibly blue and Blaine crawls back onto the bed. “Are you…”
“Only if you let me,” Blaine tries to keep his voice soothing, running his hand down Kurt’s arm and taking his hand for a brief moment. “Just…so your family doesn’t hear anything. Okay?”
“Okay,” Kurt nods sharply, fear creeping into his features, and Blaine really wants to kiss him and tell him that it’s fine but he can’t so he pulls the fabric of the tie taut between his hands, lifting it up as Kurt obligingly opens his mouth and tying it off as tightly as he dares behind the taller man’s head.
“Is that okay? Too tight?”
Kurt shakes his head, mumbling something inaudible, and Blaine’s glad at least that his idea’s going to work.
“Trust me,” he says again, hoping against hope that even though he can’t kiss Kurt on the lips, Kurt will let him do other things to him. “This is supposed to be enjoyable, right?”
A sharp nod.
“Then enjoy this, and as soon as you leave the room, it’s like it never happened,” he pushes Kurt back, smiling when Kurt reaches to grab his shoulders, seeming to need that connection. Blaine presses an open-mouthed kiss to his shoulder, careful not to do anything that will leave marks Kurt has to explain, and he hears the other boy inhale sharply. “Is that…too much? Can I…”
Kurt nods again and Blaine takes him at his word, scattering kisses down his chest and flat stomach before he pulls himself up again and straddles Kurt’s hips, holding him down as Kurt moans around the gag.
Blaine’s hand is damp with sweat when he wraps it around Kurt’s cock for the first time, amazed at the silkiness of his skin and the weight of holding it in his hand. Kurt’s eyes are glassy, half-closed and his breathing is ragged, fingers digging into Blaine’s arms as he strokes up slowly and Kurt thrashes against his hold.
“Does that feel good?” Blaine tries to keep his voice as neutral as possible. He rubs his thumb over the slit and Kurt groans, so he takes that to mean that he’s doing something right. “I still want to go quickly in case your parents come down,” he warns before starting to move his hand, flicking his wrist at the end of every upstroke and watching Kurt’s eyelashes flutter as he gives into the pleasure.
Blaine has to bite his lip to keep from saying the things he wants to: that Kurt’s so fucking hot he has no idea, that he looks amazing like this, that Blaine wants everything with him because he’s falling for this boy and he’s falling really fast.
But he doesn’t. He keeps his concentration locked on what he’s doing, his free hand idly rubbing at Kurt’s chest and touching whatever skin he can, and he feels Kurt’s entire body tighten up like a drawn bowstring two strokes before he’s coming, eyes wide and making sharp little muffled grunting noises.
Blaine works him through it, stroking him slowly until Kurt flinches and whines something that’s probably a command to stop, and Blaine pulls his hand away and grabs a tissue to wipe it off on before he reaches up to undo the gag, the tie ruined and wet with saliva as Kurt pants and looks at him fuzzily.
“Was that…um…”
Kurt only nods, reaching forward and pulling him into a hug in a rare show of affection. Blaine hugs him back, almost too tightly, and when he feels Kurt’s hand snake between their bodies he bucks his hips toward it and hides his groan in Kurt’s shoulder.
“Can we…like this?” Kurt asks, and Blaine can only nod, because he really doesn’t care as long as he gets to come. “Okay.”
“Okay,” he repeats, kissing Kurt’s shoulder again and feeling the other man wrap him up a little tighter as he starts to move his hand faster.
He is so, so fucked.
Part Two