The Cat and the Hat
I went out and drank coffee tonight attempting to sketch. I would have written for me, but my journal refused to accept words. So tonight I sat there trying to draw Manga and doing a poor job indeed when a familiar haunt passed by and gently pinched my arm.
He asked if he could join me and after four hours faded before the sunlight could banish him.
How is it that a man can absolve you of your sins if you aren't a Catholic Priest? That is also of course assuming I believe that way to be true.
I wondered as I left five minutes ago, from that quaint little restaurant if it was time to start writing for me. I know it sounds selfish, but that's the reason I started this story. It was a way to vent and then it became driven by her, but she's gone.
I wrote the first book for her and I have several more to go, but when I want to write my emotions and thoughts out my pen is blank. I feel like a bottle. You know those old glass bottles full of soda pop that someone shook up. They shook so hard that I'm ready to explode.
How can a man who sins absolve a sinner?
Then all thoughts of religion faded allowing me to just enjoy the warming night and I wondered if there was some kind of sign that there was anyone, anywhere who would ever understand me.
The Japanese believe you're tied to your other half by the red thread of fate.
Was it the Greeks who believed the Gods separated us by lightning and scattered us, damning us to walk forever until we find out other half?
I have no concept or reasoning why this sudden thought struck me except for that thought stirring and it made me amused, angry and sad all in one breathe that this creature....this man thought he had the power to absolve me of my sins and make me okay again.
I wanted to scream and shout, "NO you're not strong enough because you are not the one meant to carry me and I am not meant to carry you." Instead I watched him slip back into the night and breathed a sigh of relief.
Sad, angry and amused I stared up at that moon and asked whatever was up there that made us all and me if I would always be alone.
"Send me a sign... no matter how crazy or small...if there is anyone out there for me... just one little sign to help my heavy heart."
Of course me being unusually pessimistic as of lately I figured as usual there would be no sign and then I saw it. I saw IT while placing my purse in the passengers seat of the car, because it weights a TON.
There was this huge orange tabby cat sitting next to a leprechaun hat. No I'm not kidding and I haven't had a drop to drink. A St. Patrick's Day hat was abandoned right there next to a withered old tree and this orange cat was sitting there staring at the sky and then staring down the street as if he were waiting for someone.
I called and he wouldn't come and it seemed to me as he curled up on the hat that he wasn't waiting for food, he was not waiting for his owner. He was waiting just like I was for that other half.
Maybe I am crazy for believing this... but who ever saw a cat sitting on a leprechaun hat waiting in the late night for something or someone.
I showed my friend this and she laughed.
She said there was my sign and now I couldn't agree more.
For if there is no one who understands me and no one strong enough to help me when I can no longer stand, here in this city full of tricksters, broken dreams and thieves where a man is so bold enough to declare he can save my soul. Then I would rather sit there in the dead of night, like that cat and the hat waiting for the one who is strong enough, but until then I'm not weak enough to fall for an old dog with old tricks.
You'll have to find someone else to haunt.