Kyumin - Regrets
100. Regrets
Pairings: Kyumin, mentioned onesided Kangmin and Kangteuk
Rating: G
Genre: Angst? Fluff? I dunno..
Summary: Slightly AU. Sungmin was working in a company where he met Kyuhyun. After they met, Sungmin regretted a lot of things.
Yay for Kyumin!! Im so happy that so many Kyumin fic popped out. I dunno why suddenly I just love this pairing. xDD
OK, so to help you, the setting is like this.
Sungmin and Kangin are working in the same department. Kangin is Sungmin's senior.
Eeteuk works in a different department, and Kyuhyun as well.
The boss is of course, LSM. lol.
And I used a very old song from The Moffats.
so, here we goo~~~
REGRETS - KYUMIN
Sungmin didn't remember the first time he met Kyuhyun. But he did remember that one day he just couldn't take his eyes off of Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun reminded him of someone, but he didn't know who. And he still couldn’t figure it out until now.
It was not Kyuhyun that Sungmin loved. It was Kangin. However, it was not Sungmin that Kangin loved. It was Eeteuk. And Sungmin didn't know he should feel happy or sad by the fact that Eeteuk loved him back. He felt happy because Eeteuk was a very good guy, he was perfect for Kangin, and Kangin himself really loved him. What a perfect couple they would make. Sungmin was not weak. He was stronger than he looked. He could bear the pain in his chest every time he saw them together. Yes, he could.
Sungmin remembered the first time he talked to Kyuhyun. It was at a party in Mr. Lee Soo Man’s house. Sungmin came late. Everybody was drunk already. He never liked drunken people, so he just stood in the corner, watching everybody went crazy as they started to throw people into the pool. All of a sudden, he felt someone grabbing him and before he could realize, he was thrown into the pool.
Okay, he hated drunken people. And he hated himself for coming to a party full of drunken people. He shouldn’t have come there.
Wrapped in a big towel, Sungmin just sat down alone. Watching them just made him feeling more upset.
"Are you ok, Sungmin?"
OK? He was freezing, and his phone was broken due to the water damage, how the hell he should be ok??
He looked up to see who asked him the stupid question and he saw a familiar face.
It was him. The guy who reminded him of someone.
"I'm okay, but my phone is not.." He flashed a smile.
"Oh, sorry for that.." The guy gave him a sympathetic smile.
Their conversation flowed smoothly. The guy was quite attractive. His deep voice, his cute smile, his tall and slender body... Sungmin was kind of being drawn into all of those. For a moment, a guy named Kangin never existed in his world.
Sungmin noticed how this guy mentioned his name several times in their conversation. He felt bad because he didn't know his name.
"I'm sorry, but what is your name?"
"Oh, it's Kyuhyun. And yours is Sungmin, right?"
"Ya it is. How do you know my name?"
"From your name tag at work."
"Oh, I see.." He chuckled as he clutched tighter into the fabric that wrapped him. "I’m sorry for not knowing your name, but I remember your face, though."
"That’s fine. Are you cold?" Kyuhyun asked him, worried.
"Well, yeah... A bit..." He shivered. "A lot actually.."
"You want my shirt?"
Sungmin blinked.
"No, thanks" And for the following days he didn’t know why but he regretted his decision for not taking Kyuhyun's shirt.
Ever since that day, Sungmin and Kyuhyun kept bumping into each other. In the elevator, in Sungmin's office area, in Kyuhyun's office area. Everywhere. And they would always exchange smile, asking 'how are you' to each other. Strange, Sungmin thought. We've never bumped into each other as often as this before. Or maybe he just didn't realize Kyuhyun was there. After all he got his eyes blinded by Kangin for all this time.
Bumping into Kyuhyun had been a habit for Sungmin. Sungmin didn’t know when he started hoping he would see Kyuhyun's smiling face as the elevator door opened, or when he passed by Kyuhyun's department, or when he took a glance to his office which is just across his office. Sungmin began to love seeing Kyuhyun's figure as he was doing his works and missing him whenever he was not around.
Later on he found out that Kyuhyun would leave the company in less than 2 weeks.
“Why?” he asked.
“Well I’m only a part timer here.”
But I won’t be able to see you anymore. He really wanted to say that, yet he was never been able to. His lips were locked and no single word slipped from his mouth except an almost inaudible “oh”.
Kyuhyun’s departure was getting closer and closer.
“When exactly are you leaving?”
“This Sunday.”
“That’s tomorrow!”
“I know.” Kyuhyun shrugged. “Oh, it’s time to go. Well, see you tomorrow Sungmin”
He moved closer and gave a light kiss on Sungmin’s cheek.
“See you…” He replied, trying his best to grip on his senses.
Sungmin didn’t remember when his brain was filled by the thoughts of Kyuhyun. It was not Kyuhyun that Sungmin loved. It was Kangin. Or at least that’s what he thought.
“He’s a good kisser.” He heard Kangin said.
“Who?” He tilted his head in confusion.
“Eeteuk.”
“Good for you then.”
He smiled. He couldn’t believe he was smiling. Shouldn’t he feel sad? Where had the pain gone? Why he felt happy when he saw Kangin’s blushing face? Why did he feel happy for them?
“I’m leaving for a while. I’ll come back.”
“OK hyung. Just be quick. You have to tell me EVERYTHING.”
Someone passed by his department. Sungmin looked up and he gave his cutest smile to the guy as he mouthed a “hey~”. It was Kyuhyun, and as always, he replied Sungmin with his sweet smile and stepped into Sungmin’s department. Sungmin could see he was holding a card.
“Hello Sungmin, do you have some time?”
“Of course I do. Kangin hyung left me alone here with nothing to do.”
“Well, that’s Kangin hyung you’re talking about. Hey, I wonder if you can write this for me.”
He handed him the card.
“What is this for?”
“You see, I’m leaving today. So I wonder if you can write... err... some messages for me...”
Something stabbed Sungmin’s heart really hard.
“Ah yes... You’re leaving today” He forced himself to smile. “I’m so sad.”
“Yes me too.”
Sungmin couldn’t say if Kyuhyun was serious or not.
He opened the card. There were two other writings on it. Apparently they were from Kyuhyun’s co-workers.
“So you’re collecting everyone’s messages, aren’t you?” he asked as he thought hard on what he should write. Kyuhyun nodded.
“Since this is my last day here, so...”
Last day... Sungmin hated those words. Why can’t we stop the time? Suddenly a thought came over his head.
“WAIT!” he said abruptly. “This is your last day, right? Give me your email address!”
Kyuhyun chuckled and wrote down his address on a piece of paper.
“Here you go, Sungmin.”
“Thanks, and here is your card.”
Sungmin couldn’t help but smiling when he saw him enthusiastically read the card.
“Thank you so much, Sungmin.” Kyuhyun squeezed Sungmin’s hand.
“No problem.”
“Say, do you need a lift to go home?”
“Um... Actually yeah.. I don’t have anyone to drive me back home today.”
“Me, Ryeowook, and Yesung are going somewhere near your place, so if you want…”
“I want! I want!”
“OK, OK. I’ll wait for you in the main entrance” He took Sungmin’s hand and smiled sweetly.
“Thanks! See you there then.” Sungmin smiled back, a bit groggily as he bowed down his head, not being able to face Kyuhyun’s gaze at him. They stayed like that for a few seconds before Kyuhyun finally letting go and dashed off to his department.
Little that he knew, it was the last time they spoke together.
Sungmin, Kyuhyun, and Ryeowook (Eunhyuk and Donghae were also there) were waiting while Yesung took his car. Sometimes, Sungmin caught Kyuhyun was looking at him (or vice versa since Sungmin also couldn’t take his eyes off of Kyuhyun) and they smiled to each other. A warm feeling seeped into Sungmin’s heart. However the fact that Kyuhyun was leaving could still rip his heart.
“Hey Sungmin” A tall man greeted him. He had a lot of stuffs with him that seemed to be some paper works, documents, and personal belongings.
“Hey Hankyung. Oh no, don’t tell me you’re also leaving today”
“Sadly I do.”
“No way.. Everyone is leaving.”
“Come on, don’t be sad. Nice to meet you anyway”
“Same goes here.” Sungmin waved a goodbye and eyed him as he disappeared into his car.
Suddenly he felt a gentle pat on his shoulder, making him to turn his head to the person next to him.
“What is it?”
“Nothing.” Kyuhyun shook his head. Sungmin could feel his lips were curving up. Somehow he was always smiling whenever Kyuhyun was around. He noticed the card in Kyuhyun’s hand. It was full of writings now. He could still see his handwriting though.
A car stopped in front of them. Yesung’s car.
“I’m sorry guys. I can’t fit you all in my car.” Yesung said. “But Shiwonnie also has car. You can go with him”
So the group was divided into two. Sungmin hopped into Yesung’s car as Kyuhyun hopped into Siwon’s. That was the last time Sungmin saw Kyuhyun. Before he could realize, Yesung already turned on his engine and drove away. Yesung dropped Sungmin in front of his residence.
There was a party near Sungmin’s residence. That was why Kyuhyun and the others were going there. Sungmin was not invited, so he could not join them. He didn’t care about the party at all. It was Kyuhyun that he cared about. He could burst into the party and looked for Kyuhyun only to say goodbye but he just couldn’t, could he?
He didn’t even say goodbye to him. He hadn’t told him how much he was going to miss him. He hadn’t told him how much pain he suffered when his departure day was getting closer. He hadn’t told him how his smile always brightened up his day. He hadn’t told him that he always gladly delivered all of those heavy paper works to Kyuhyun’s department only so he could see him. He hadn’t told him how his heart always fluttered whenever he saw him passed by. He hadn’t told him how grateful he was for meeting him. He hadn’t told him how he loved his tall and slender figure. He hadn’t told him that he’d been thinking about him and only him for the last few days. He hadn’t told him how much he loved him.
So many words left unspoken, and Sungmin really hated himself for this.
Sungmin rolled in his bed, trying to bury himself into a deep slumber. Maybe it would help him to forget the unbearable pain in his heart. He bit his lips hard, trying to prevent a liter of tears that was almost falling down. He squeezed his eyes hard, trying to shake off the thoughts of Kyuhyun that were filling his brain. He didn’t tell him goodbye. He really wanted to hug him and told him goodbye. And maybe, just maybe, Kyuhyun would pull him into an embrace, giving him a kiss on the cheek, and smiled sweetly for the last time before he really left.
The first thing Sungmin felt when he opened his eyes the next morning was a hot feeling in the corner of his eyes. Get a grip, Sungmin. You’re a strong boy. You shouldn’t cry only because of this.
He got off from his bed and getting ready to work. Yes, work. Working would keep his mind busy, so he wouldn’t think of Kyuhyun.
Things turned out differently for Sungmin. Every single place on his office reminded him of Kyuhyun. When the elevator door was opened, no one was there. Sungmin had to bite down his lips to stop himself from crying. Some tears slipped through though. But he quickly wiped it off. Sungmin lifted his head to see Kyuhyun’s office across his room. There was someone there. Tall and slender. But it was not Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun had left. And Sungmin didn’t even say goodbye to him. Some tears slipped through again.
Sungmin wanted to shout Kyuhyun’s name, yet the words just got stuck in his throat. His heart was breaking. Kyuhyun’s face appeared on his head. He couldn’t help but letting the tears flowed down. On second thought, he and Kyuhyun were not that close. He didn’t even know how old Kyuhyun was, when his birthday was, and lots of things. He only knew his name and his smile. It was Cho Kyuhyun and he was crying his heart out because he just realized how much he loved this man after he lost him.
Sungmin didn’t remember the first time he met Kyuhyun, but he did remember every single day after he knew Kyuhyun. It was not Kangin that he loved. It was Kyuhyun. And Sungmin was not a strong boy since he didn’t know how many times he had broken down and cried whenever the thought of Kyuhyun came across his head.
He noticed a yellow paper on his bedside table. Quickly he grabbed the paper. The scribble handwriting said: chokyuhyun@hotmail.kr
Email address? Of course! He would write an email to him. He ran to reach his laptop. But then he stopped.
What if he doesn’t think of me the same way as I do?
What if he will notice that I love him and start to keep his distance from me?
What if he actually never cares about me?
He was so afraid by these thoughts.
Everyone has a chance. It depends on them to take it or not. But be prepared to regret if you lose something precious just because you let the chance off.
Sungmin suddenly remember what Lee Soo Man told him. He shook his head. He had let the chance off several times already and he was fed up with regretting. He turned on his laptop.
Dear Kyuhyun, he wrote. He didn’t care if Kyuhyun would never reply his mail. He didn’t care of whatever Kyuhyun would think of him. He didn’t care if Kyuhyun didn’t love him back. He just didn’t want to regret anymore. At least he could say what he was never been able to say.
I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye to you. He continued typing.
Several minutes later he finished his mail. It was a simple mail. He re-read the last sentence he wrote. I think I miss you already. He tapped his finger on the keyboard, and hit the erase button. He still didn’t dare to show his feeling. He paused for a while, thinking of another sentence to replace it. Thanks for being my friend for the past two weeks. Cheers, Sungmin. He quickly hit the “send” button before he changed his mind later on.
Sungmin sighed. He didn’t know how many days he would take to stop crying over Kyuhyun. His heart was still breaking since his leaving. But somehow the heavy feeling in his heart had been lifted up. He turned on his mp3 player and fell asleep while listening to the song. He had a dream. A dream about the man he missed the most. In his dream he saw Kyuhyun was there, standing outside his door, calling his name and smiling as usual. Sungmin ran and let himself fall into his warm embrace. And he managed to say the two sentences he was dying to tell him. Goodbye Kyuhyun, I love you.
His mp3 player played a song, and he cried as he was sleeping.
When I think of you
I don't know what to do
When will I see you again
I miss you like crazy
Even more than words can say
I miss you like crazy
Every minute of every day
Pairings: Kyumin, mentioned onesided Kangmin and Kangteuk
Rating: G
Genre: Angst? Fluff? I dunno..
Summary: Slightly AU. Sungmin was working in a company where he met Kyuhyun. After they met, Sungmin regretted a lot of things.
Yay for Kyumin!! Im so happy that so many Kyumin fic popped out. I dunno why suddenly I just love this pairing. xDD
OK, so to help you, the setting is like this.
Sungmin and Kangin are working in the same department. Kangin is Sungmin's senior.
Eeteuk works in a different department, and Kyuhyun as well.
The boss is of course, LSM. lol.
And I used a very old song from The Moffats.
so, here we goo~~~
REGRETS - KYUMIN
Sungmin didn't remember the first time he met Kyuhyun. But he did remember that one day he just couldn't take his eyes off of Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun reminded him of someone, but he didn't know who. And he still couldn’t figure it out until now.
It was not Kyuhyun that Sungmin loved. It was Kangin. However, it was not Sungmin that Kangin loved. It was Eeteuk. And Sungmin didn't know he should feel happy or sad by the fact that Eeteuk loved him back. He felt happy because Eeteuk was a very good guy, he was perfect for Kangin, and Kangin himself really loved him. What a perfect couple they would make. Sungmin was not weak. He was stronger than he looked. He could bear the pain in his chest every time he saw them together. Yes, he could.
Sungmin remembered the first time he talked to Kyuhyun. It was at a party in Mr. Lee Soo Man’s house. Sungmin came late. Everybody was drunk already. He never liked drunken people, so he just stood in the corner, watching everybody went crazy as they started to throw people into the pool. All of a sudden, he felt someone grabbing him and before he could realize, he was thrown into the pool.
Okay, he hated drunken people. And he hated himself for coming to a party full of drunken people. He shouldn’t have come there.
Wrapped in a big towel, Sungmin just sat down alone. Watching them just made him feeling more upset.
"Are you ok, Sungmin?"
OK? He was freezing, and his phone was broken due to the water damage, how the hell he should be ok??
He looked up to see who asked him the stupid question and he saw a familiar face.
It was him. The guy who reminded him of someone.
"I'm okay, but my phone is not.." He flashed a smile.
"Oh, sorry for that.." The guy gave him a sympathetic smile.
Their conversation flowed smoothly. The guy was quite attractive. His deep voice, his cute smile, his tall and slender body... Sungmin was kind of being drawn into all of those. For a moment, a guy named Kangin never existed in his world.
Sungmin noticed how this guy mentioned his name several times in their conversation. He felt bad because he didn't know his name.
"I'm sorry, but what is your name?"
"Oh, it's Kyuhyun. And yours is Sungmin, right?"
"Ya it is. How do you know my name?"
"From your name tag at work."
"Oh, I see.." He chuckled as he clutched tighter into the fabric that wrapped him. "I’m sorry for not knowing your name, but I remember your face, though."
"That’s fine. Are you cold?" Kyuhyun asked him, worried.
"Well, yeah... A bit..." He shivered. "A lot actually.."
"You want my shirt?"
Sungmin blinked.
"No, thanks" And for the following days he didn’t know why but he regretted his decision for not taking Kyuhyun's shirt.
Ever since that day, Sungmin and Kyuhyun kept bumping into each other. In the elevator, in Sungmin's office area, in Kyuhyun's office area. Everywhere. And they would always exchange smile, asking 'how are you' to each other. Strange, Sungmin thought. We've never bumped into each other as often as this before. Or maybe he just didn't realize Kyuhyun was there. After all he got his eyes blinded by Kangin for all this time.
Bumping into Kyuhyun had been a habit for Sungmin. Sungmin didn’t know when he started hoping he would see Kyuhyun's smiling face as the elevator door opened, or when he passed by Kyuhyun's department, or when he took a glance to his office which is just across his office. Sungmin began to love seeing Kyuhyun's figure as he was doing his works and missing him whenever he was not around.
Later on he found out that Kyuhyun would leave the company in less than 2 weeks.
“Why?” he asked.
“Well I’m only a part timer here.”
But I won’t be able to see you anymore. He really wanted to say that, yet he was never been able to. His lips were locked and no single word slipped from his mouth except an almost inaudible “oh”.
Kyuhyun’s departure was getting closer and closer.
“When exactly are you leaving?”
“This Sunday.”
“That’s tomorrow!”
“I know.” Kyuhyun shrugged. “Oh, it’s time to go. Well, see you tomorrow Sungmin”
He moved closer and gave a light kiss on Sungmin’s cheek.
“See you…” He replied, trying his best to grip on his senses.
Sungmin didn’t remember when his brain was filled by the thoughts of Kyuhyun. It was not Kyuhyun that Sungmin loved. It was Kangin. Or at least that’s what he thought.
“He’s a good kisser.” He heard Kangin said.
“Who?” He tilted his head in confusion.
“Eeteuk.”
“Good for you then.”
He smiled. He couldn’t believe he was smiling. Shouldn’t he feel sad? Where had the pain gone? Why he felt happy when he saw Kangin’s blushing face? Why did he feel happy for them?
“I’m leaving for a while. I’ll come back.”
“OK hyung. Just be quick. You have to tell me EVERYTHING.”
Someone passed by his department. Sungmin looked up and he gave his cutest smile to the guy as he mouthed a “hey~”. It was Kyuhyun, and as always, he replied Sungmin with his sweet smile and stepped into Sungmin’s department. Sungmin could see he was holding a card.
“Hello Sungmin, do you have some time?”
“Of course I do. Kangin hyung left me alone here with nothing to do.”
“Well, that’s Kangin hyung you’re talking about. Hey, I wonder if you can write this for me.”
He handed him the card.
“What is this for?”
“You see, I’m leaving today. So I wonder if you can write... err... some messages for me...”
Something stabbed Sungmin’s heart really hard.
“Ah yes... You’re leaving today” He forced himself to smile. “I’m so sad.”
“Yes me too.”
Sungmin couldn’t say if Kyuhyun was serious or not.
He opened the card. There were two other writings on it. Apparently they were from Kyuhyun’s co-workers.
“So you’re collecting everyone’s messages, aren’t you?” he asked as he thought hard on what he should write. Kyuhyun nodded.
“Since this is my last day here, so...”
Last day... Sungmin hated those words. Why can’t we stop the time? Suddenly a thought came over his head.
“WAIT!” he said abruptly. “This is your last day, right? Give me your email address!”
Kyuhyun chuckled and wrote down his address on a piece of paper.
“Here you go, Sungmin.”
“Thanks, and here is your card.”
Sungmin couldn’t help but smiling when he saw him enthusiastically read the card.
“Thank you so much, Sungmin.” Kyuhyun squeezed Sungmin’s hand.
“No problem.”
“Say, do you need a lift to go home?”
“Um... Actually yeah.. I don’t have anyone to drive me back home today.”
“Me, Ryeowook, and Yesung are going somewhere near your place, so if you want…”
“I want! I want!”
“OK, OK. I’ll wait for you in the main entrance” He took Sungmin’s hand and smiled sweetly.
“Thanks! See you there then.” Sungmin smiled back, a bit groggily as he bowed down his head, not being able to face Kyuhyun’s gaze at him. They stayed like that for a few seconds before Kyuhyun finally letting go and dashed off to his department.
Little that he knew, it was the last time they spoke together.
Sungmin, Kyuhyun, and Ryeowook (Eunhyuk and Donghae were also there) were waiting while Yesung took his car. Sometimes, Sungmin caught Kyuhyun was looking at him (or vice versa since Sungmin also couldn’t take his eyes off of Kyuhyun) and they smiled to each other. A warm feeling seeped into Sungmin’s heart. However the fact that Kyuhyun was leaving could still rip his heart.
“Hey Sungmin” A tall man greeted him. He had a lot of stuffs with him that seemed to be some paper works, documents, and personal belongings.
“Hey Hankyung. Oh no, don’t tell me you’re also leaving today”
“Sadly I do.”
“No way.. Everyone is leaving.”
“Come on, don’t be sad. Nice to meet you anyway”
“Same goes here.” Sungmin waved a goodbye and eyed him as he disappeared into his car.
Suddenly he felt a gentle pat on his shoulder, making him to turn his head to the person next to him.
“What is it?”
“Nothing.” Kyuhyun shook his head. Sungmin could feel his lips were curving up. Somehow he was always smiling whenever Kyuhyun was around. He noticed the card in Kyuhyun’s hand. It was full of writings now. He could still see his handwriting though.
A car stopped in front of them. Yesung’s car.
“I’m sorry guys. I can’t fit you all in my car.” Yesung said. “But Shiwonnie also has car. You can go with him”
So the group was divided into two. Sungmin hopped into Yesung’s car as Kyuhyun hopped into Siwon’s. That was the last time Sungmin saw Kyuhyun. Before he could realize, Yesung already turned on his engine and drove away. Yesung dropped Sungmin in front of his residence.
There was a party near Sungmin’s residence. That was why Kyuhyun and the others were going there. Sungmin was not invited, so he could not join them. He didn’t care about the party at all. It was Kyuhyun that he cared about. He could burst into the party and looked for Kyuhyun only to say goodbye but he just couldn’t, could he?
He didn’t even say goodbye to him. He hadn’t told him how much he was going to miss him. He hadn’t told him how much pain he suffered when his departure day was getting closer. He hadn’t told him how his smile always brightened up his day. He hadn’t told him that he always gladly delivered all of those heavy paper works to Kyuhyun’s department only so he could see him. He hadn’t told him how his heart always fluttered whenever he saw him passed by. He hadn’t told him how grateful he was for meeting him. He hadn’t told him how he loved his tall and slender figure. He hadn’t told him that he’d been thinking about him and only him for the last few days. He hadn’t told him how much he loved him.
So many words left unspoken, and Sungmin really hated himself for this.
Sungmin rolled in his bed, trying to bury himself into a deep slumber. Maybe it would help him to forget the unbearable pain in his heart. He bit his lips hard, trying to prevent a liter of tears that was almost falling down. He squeezed his eyes hard, trying to shake off the thoughts of Kyuhyun that were filling his brain. He didn’t tell him goodbye. He really wanted to hug him and told him goodbye. And maybe, just maybe, Kyuhyun would pull him into an embrace, giving him a kiss on the cheek, and smiled sweetly for the last time before he really left.
The first thing Sungmin felt when he opened his eyes the next morning was a hot feeling in the corner of his eyes. Get a grip, Sungmin. You’re a strong boy. You shouldn’t cry only because of this.
He got off from his bed and getting ready to work. Yes, work. Working would keep his mind busy, so he wouldn’t think of Kyuhyun.
Things turned out differently for Sungmin. Every single place on his office reminded him of Kyuhyun. When the elevator door was opened, no one was there. Sungmin had to bite down his lips to stop himself from crying. Some tears slipped through though. But he quickly wiped it off. Sungmin lifted his head to see Kyuhyun’s office across his room. There was someone there. Tall and slender. But it was not Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun had left. And Sungmin didn’t even say goodbye to him. Some tears slipped through again.
Sungmin wanted to shout Kyuhyun’s name, yet the words just got stuck in his throat. His heart was breaking. Kyuhyun’s face appeared on his head. He couldn’t help but letting the tears flowed down. On second thought, he and Kyuhyun were not that close. He didn’t even know how old Kyuhyun was, when his birthday was, and lots of things. He only knew his name and his smile. It was Cho Kyuhyun and he was crying his heart out because he just realized how much he loved this man after he lost him.
Sungmin didn’t remember the first time he met Kyuhyun, but he did remember every single day after he knew Kyuhyun. It was not Kangin that he loved. It was Kyuhyun. And Sungmin was not a strong boy since he didn’t know how many times he had broken down and cried whenever the thought of Kyuhyun came across his head.
He noticed a yellow paper on his bedside table. Quickly he grabbed the paper. The scribble handwriting said: chokyuhyun@hotmail.kr
Email address? Of course! He would write an email to him. He ran to reach his laptop. But then he stopped.
What if he doesn’t think of me the same way as I do?
What if he will notice that I love him and start to keep his distance from me?
What if he actually never cares about me?
He was so afraid by these thoughts.
Everyone has a chance. It depends on them to take it or not. But be prepared to regret if you lose something precious just because you let the chance off.
Sungmin suddenly remember what Lee Soo Man told him. He shook his head. He had let the chance off several times already and he was fed up with regretting. He turned on his laptop.
Dear Kyuhyun, he wrote. He didn’t care if Kyuhyun would never reply his mail. He didn’t care of whatever Kyuhyun would think of him. He didn’t care if Kyuhyun didn’t love him back. He just didn’t want to regret anymore. At least he could say what he was never been able to say.
I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye to you. He continued typing.
Several minutes later he finished his mail. It was a simple mail. He re-read the last sentence he wrote. I think I miss you already. He tapped his finger on the keyboard, and hit the erase button. He still didn’t dare to show his feeling. He paused for a while, thinking of another sentence to replace it. Thanks for being my friend for the past two weeks. Cheers, Sungmin. He quickly hit the “send” button before he changed his mind later on.
Sungmin sighed. He didn’t know how many days he would take to stop crying over Kyuhyun. His heart was still breaking since his leaving. But somehow the heavy feeling in his heart had been lifted up. He turned on his mp3 player and fell asleep while listening to the song. He had a dream. A dream about the man he missed the most. In his dream he saw Kyuhyun was there, standing outside his door, calling his name and smiling as usual. Sungmin ran and let himself fall into his warm embrace. And he managed to say the two sentences he was dying to tell him. Goodbye Kyuhyun, I love you.
His mp3 player played a song, and he cried as he was sleeping.
When I think of you
I don't know what to do
When will I see you again
I miss you like crazy
Even more than words can say
I miss you like crazy
Every minute of every day