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Today is my first day back to a school in too long. I sort of can't wait until saturday because that is my math class, and I really really miss math. I know I am weird for saying it. But you know, its my favorite subject. Kim thinks I am nuts because I said that I missed doing homework or something, not that I did it all too often at home, while I
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The world has lost something so great, something it will never get back. But as long as we remember, her spirit lives on. Screw the thoughts of heaven, her spirit lives on RIGHT HERE ON EARTH as long as we remember. Be sad every once in awhile. Take time and look back and say “I wish you were here”. Don’t dwell on it, but don’t brush it off either. If we all remember her, then not only will her spirit live on but maybe her ideas can as well. If she effected you in some strong way and you think that you have a quality that is the same as Jackie, then bring that quality out ever so much more. Creativity perhaps. She was so creative I can tell. You Katie are also so creative. Bring that creativity out ever so much more because Jackie isn’t here to show the world her creativity. Bring yours out so much more to just try to give the world a little taste of what Jackie would have brought them.
You have taken so much time out of your life to help others, and that’s very noble. But its time that you be selfish. I mean, I can’t remember how many times you told me that YOU were selfish. Its not true. I have countless examples of you being ANYTHING but selfish. I swear to you there were many times I said to myself “She needs to be more selfish”. You do. Especially now. You need time. Go. Just kick all of us aside for awhile. ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL OF US! Get to know yourself again. Find yourself. When you come back, not only will you not regret going, but when we see how happy you are now that you’ve taken time to grieve we will also be so much happier. And anyone who disagrees with me can kiss my ass! I don’t care how bad any of your friends feel right now Katie, you need your time. I am going through the worst time in my life right now. I have lost all hope for everything. I could use time with my friends, and you are my best friend. But I STILL want you to take time off. Just get away from everyone. Don’t come online, don’t talk on the phone, don’t do anything with anyone. Anyone. If you make exceptions it wont help you at all. Even your best friend…even your boyfriend. Everyone. Find yourself, and you will be so much more happier. Content. Satisfied. Grieve Katie… you deserve it more then anyone else I know. You deserve to grieve, to get it out. Just cry. Let it all out. You also deserve to be happy. If you gave me a list of all the people I knew, id say you deserved to be the happiest. I look at what you’ve been through, you deserve to be happy. I want you to be happy so much. Do what you need to do. Cry, yell and scream. Its horrible what happened. I miss her too, and I didn’t know her great. You knew her great, it must be eating you up inside. Get it out Katie. Don’t let it kill you. I don’t think Jackie would want you with just yet. Im sure she misses you too, but she wants you here still. Cause she knows as well as I know that you are so special. You can make a difference. YOU HAVE MADE A DIFFERENCE! You have effected me sooooooo much its indescribable! You are my best friend!
I love you Katie, I love you. Ill always love you, now and forever.
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