(no subject)
So I'm back from Florida babes, isn't that just super duper? So, while I was in Florida I got horrible sunburn and stuff. I don't want to dwell on my vacation and the events simply because it's boring to hear, and none of you would understand the things that happened unless you were close to my grandparents, i.e.: Grandma went swimming in the pool, Ev and I made Grandpa actually laugh , and I woke up way early just about every morning to go on a walk with my grandma..stuff like that.
Anyways, while I was there I felt as though I were suffocating in my own emotions. I mean, I could make a fucking mountain piled with all the emotions I'm feeling at any given moment. I want to experiment so badly, with drugs, with sex, with alcohol. Ryan says it's typical for me to feel this way, but I wish I didn't. I just want to find myself. You know, I never knew a book could influence me so much. I mean, I started reading Go Ask Alice ages ago, and I skimmed it and finished it and thought okay this was a pretty cool book, but I actually went back and read every detail and holy beJesus, I've never drowned in an ocean of so many feelings before. Thus, it gets me even more sad and deranged than I already am. Hah, and I still have to write POEMS for Mrs. Kennedy, what a joke! So yeah..I wonder what it's like to smoke weed..probably nothing special..it's just weed. What about LSD though? Hallucinating must be somethin' else. But I know I could never snort something, that's gross..and it'd hurt, or I imagine it would.
Nonetheless, I know this is all nonsense, I'd never let myself to drugs..well..not yet.
And..I don't feel like explaining everything in detail, maybe later?
♥
Anyways, while I was there I felt as though I were suffocating in my own emotions. I mean, I could make a fucking mountain piled with all the emotions I'm feeling at any given moment. I want to experiment so badly, with drugs, with sex, with alcohol. Ryan says it's typical for me to feel this way, but I wish I didn't. I just want to find myself. You know, I never knew a book could influence me so much. I mean, I started reading Go Ask Alice ages ago, and I skimmed it and finished it and thought okay this was a pretty cool book, but I actually went back and read every detail and holy beJesus, I've never drowned in an ocean of so many feelings before. Thus, it gets me even more sad and deranged than I already am. Hah, and I still have to write POEMS for Mrs. Kennedy, what a joke! So yeah..I wonder what it's like to smoke weed..probably nothing special..it's just weed. What about LSD though? Hallucinating must be somethin' else. But I know I could never snort something, that's gross..and it'd hurt, or I imagine it would.
Nonetheless, I know this is all nonsense, I'd never let myself to drugs..well..not yet.
And..I don't feel like explaining everything in detail, maybe later?
♥