Uh...insert random numbers here?
So many things on my mind today.
Even if I wrote for the next two hours straight I don't think I'd cover them all. Not to mention I'd only end up with a few hours of sleep if I did that.
I was asked about why the focus on love and relationships lately here. There's a number of reasons, such as that writing in part helps work through my thoughts on the matter but usually that's after it's be percolating below the conscious surface of my mind for...sometimes maybe a couple days, others a week or more.
Oh man, the television is distracting me. Can't focus.
That makes this difficult because I wanted to write about that. Until more recently (as in not while I was growing up) I'd never considered thinking about the status quo of the current relationship model for romantic relationships. Not that I'd really had any information about them at the time either.
Plus through looking at the online dating site it, and talking to my friend's old man who...tells me dating war stories (I don't know why I refer to them that way, maybe because sometimes he tells you more than you wanted to know even if he's not exactly graphic about it the stories can lead to graphic images that...nobody asked for.) and the experience of others helps me determine what qualities and attributes are deal breakers.
One of the things that has always puzzled me is...well, I think it can happen in any kind of relationship and it relates to self-worth and insecurity. I remember...how exactly did it go? Something along the lines of being told I was better than the person deserved.
What?
That didn't make sense. What difference did it make what they deserved because as long as I like the person why should it matter it they felt that they deserved my friendship or not? I liked them and wanted to spend time with them, worth or what they deserved didn't come in to it at all. I didn't get it, but in time I learned to...overlook, I guess? it. They may feel that way but that doesn't mean I shouldn't love (whichever sort that might be whether friendly or more toward the romanticy sort) them any less because of what they thought they deserved.
That's not what guides or shapes relationships. It's about...what I keep thinking of as "pure love" the sort that powers all relationships before being shaded by the filters such as friendship or erotic or romantic relationships. That "pure love" as I've come to think of it is so powerful that once you realize what traits you'll accept or are willing to work with that aren't deal breakers it puts you one step closer to knowing what you really want in a life partner.
So, that simple statement, that single sign of a deeper insecurity while some people might find it concerning? It doesn't worry me. It's been...ages since I first heard that. That pure love I believe has driven all of my relationships, not that it was a conscious realization prior to now.
There are so many things that I see as...I've been thinking of them as challenges, which seems a reasonable way to look at it. You could also think of it as a speed bump or a hurdle. These are not insurmountable obstacles. These kinds of challenges can be overcome and it's so much easier if you have someone there that's willing to lend you a hand. Like offering to help someone that could use the assistance to cross the street, and I'm not talking about the chicken.
Is it so unusual to want to help loved ones that are facing these kinds of challenges?
The other things have slipped in to the shadows of my mind.
Is that so unusual, to want to help them?
I don't think providing that help is asking the world. It's a small thing for me and it's a thing that you do for the people you love. If it means that I get to be involved in helping you overcome a challenge and that I get to help you grow, that's plenty for me. That's what you do for those you care about, you help when they need it. I just finished doing that for my brothers.
Even if I wrote for the next two hours straight I don't think I'd cover them all. Not to mention I'd only end up with a few hours of sleep if I did that.
I was asked about why the focus on love and relationships lately here. There's a number of reasons, such as that writing in part helps work through my thoughts on the matter but usually that's after it's be percolating below the conscious surface of my mind for...sometimes maybe a couple days, others a week or more.
Oh man, the television is distracting me. Can't focus.
That makes this difficult because I wanted to write about that. Until more recently (as in not while I was growing up) I'd never considered thinking about the status quo of the current relationship model for romantic relationships. Not that I'd really had any information about them at the time either.
Plus through looking at the online dating site it, and talking to my friend's old man who...tells me dating war stories (I don't know why I refer to them that way, maybe because sometimes he tells you more than you wanted to know even if he's not exactly graphic about it the stories can lead to graphic images that...nobody asked for.) and the experience of others helps me determine what qualities and attributes are deal breakers.
One of the things that has always puzzled me is...well, I think it can happen in any kind of relationship and it relates to self-worth and insecurity. I remember...how exactly did it go? Something along the lines of being told I was better than the person deserved.
What?
That didn't make sense. What difference did it make what they deserved because as long as I like the person why should it matter it they felt that they deserved my friendship or not? I liked them and wanted to spend time with them, worth or what they deserved didn't come in to it at all. I didn't get it, but in time I learned to...overlook, I guess? it. They may feel that way but that doesn't mean I shouldn't love (whichever sort that might be whether friendly or more toward the romanticy sort) them any less because of what they thought they deserved.
That's not what guides or shapes relationships. It's about...what I keep thinking of as "pure love" the sort that powers all relationships before being shaded by the filters such as friendship or erotic or romantic relationships. That "pure love" as I've come to think of it is so powerful that once you realize what traits you'll accept or are willing to work with that aren't deal breakers it puts you one step closer to knowing what you really want in a life partner.
So, that simple statement, that single sign of a deeper insecurity while some people might find it concerning? It doesn't worry me. It's been...ages since I first heard that. That pure love I believe has driven all of my relationships, not that it was a conscious realization prior to now.
There are so many things that I see as...I've been thinking of them as challenges, which seems a reasonable way to look at it. You could also think of it as a speed bump or a hurdle. These are not insurmountable obstacles. These kinds of challenges can be overcome and it's so much easier if you have someone there that's willing to lend you a hand. Like offering to help someone that could use the assistance to cross the street, and I'm not talking about the chicken.
Is it so unusual to want to help loved ones that are facing these kinds of challenges?
The other things have slipped in to the shadows of my mind.
Is that so unusual, to want to help them?
I don't think providing that help is asking the world. It's a small thing for me and it's a thing that you do for the people you love. If it means that I get to be involved in helping you overcome a challenge and that I get to help you grow, that's plenty for me. That's what you do for those you care about, you help when they need it. I just finished doing that for my brothers.