On knitted scarves from the underworld
I’ve finally been able to put a name to all my secret fears and nightmares. They’re called the “Brooke’s Columns of Leaves” scarf.
I swear, that pattern is evil. Here I am, happily and chirpily following instructions with the kind of dedication airline pilots use to navigate their planes in a storm, and all of a sudden, the blasted thing morphs in between my fingers. I’ll be congratulating myself for being able to follow instructions to the letter, and then I will get to the end of the row, ready to do that final “knit four, slip one”... and I will only have two stitches to do it in. I mean, WTF?
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve torn and then re-knitted that blasted thing, to only very slightly better results every time. Am I so useless at reading patterns, is this a normal part of learning how to knit, or is this just a particularly evil scarf? Because I swear, I can practically hear it sniggering every time I mess up.
By this time that scarf has had each and every one of its stitches soundly cursed at least twice (there’s a particularly evil “p2tog tbl” that inspires me to new and creative levels of profanity), but I’m going to beat it, sooner or later... and when I finally do, I’m going to be wearing that blasted scarf every day, even in the height of summer!!
...I wonder who was it that said knitting was therapeutic and good for the nerves? :P
.
Anyway. Just to end on a better note, here’s a video that made me giggle. Who said that knitting was just for women?
I swear, that pattern is evil. Here I am, happily and chirpily following instructions with the kind of dedication airline pilots use to navigate their planes in a storm, and all of a sudden, the blasted thing morphs in between my fingers. I’ll be congratulating myself for being able to follow instructions to the letter, and then I will get to the end of the row, ready to do that final “knit four, slip one”... and I will only have two stitches to do it in. I mean, WTF?
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve torn and then re-knitted that blasted thing, to only very slightly better results every time. Am I so useless at reading patterns, is this a normal part of learning how to knit, or is this just a particularly evil scarf? Because I swear, I can practically hear it sniggering every time I mess up.
By this time that scarf has had each and every one of its stitches soundly cursed at least twice (there’s a particularly evil “p2tog tbl” that inspires me to new and creative levels of profanity), but I’m going to beat it, sooner or later... and when I finally do, I’m going to be wearing that blasted scarf every day, even in the height of summer!!
...I wonder who was it that said knitting was therapeutic and good for the nerves? :P
.
Anyway. Just to end on a better note, here’s a video that made me giggle. Who said that knitting was just for women?
Click to view