This is it...
First, I would like to begin by saying that I had a great night on Friday with tkel_paris! It was lovely to meet you, and I hope you had fun! :) We should get together again sometime. :)
Now.... nothing bad here.... just me underneath this cut...
I've spent the last few days thinking, and wondering, and feeling kind of depressed. I realized that, for the most part, I'm not myself. Very few people have seen/talked to the "real me". I know one person on here has, very few in person. Why is that? Because I'm afraid. That's right, it's be being scared, running away. Afraid of rejection. I hide in myself and in my little world. I have for so long, I've forgotten how to actually LIVE. I've lost my love, and lust for life. I know it started long before entering "the real world", but it's no excuse to allow it to consume me now.
Well, this is the end of that. No more running away. No more being afraid of what people might, will, or do think of me. If they don't like me, fine. They don't need to be around me. Or better yet, I don't need to be around them. I'm a loud mouth that has spent MANY years allowing people to tell me to shut up. Well, you're not telling me to shut up anymore! *shakes fist into the air*
I will be.... MYSELF. That's it. This is me, getting out of this idea of trying to please everyone and make everyone happy, and only getting hurt in the end. This is me saying I'm out. I won't be doing that any longer. I will be myself, and if you don't like it, there's the door, let me help you out.
I'm tired of allowing people to push me around, call me down, and make me feel like crap! Rubbish! No more.
I'm going to be the person I am, and the person I am met to be. Maybe with that, this depression will ease. But I know I'll be happier for it. I know the type of person that I am, and I'm always afraid that no one else will like me and I'll be alone. But with talking to some friends, and seeing what the said to me, about me... to me! lol. And thinking about that, I know this is the right thing to do.
I will not let anyone push me around again.
This is going to be a very hard, and probably long journey for me. I will need help with it. In the end, I know this is what is best.
Much love.
Now.... nothing bad here.... just me underneath this cut...
I've spent the last few days thinking, and wondering, and feeling kind of depressed. I realized that, for the most part, I'm not myself. Very few people have seen/talked to the "real me". I know one person on here has, very few in person. Why is that? Because I'm afraid. That's right, it's be being scared, running away. Afraid of rejection. I hide in myself and in my little world. I have for so long, I've forgotten how to actually LIVE. I've lost my love, and lust for life. I know it started long before entering "the real world", but it's no excuse to allow it to consume me now.
Well, this is the end of that. No more running away. No more being afraid of what people might, will, or do think of me. If they don't like me, fine. They don't need to be around me. Or better yet, I don't need to be around them. I'm a loud mouth that has spent MANY years allowing people to tell me to shut up. Well, you're not telling me to shut up anymore! *shakes fist into the air*
I will be.... MYSELF. That's it. This is me, getting out of this idea of trying to please everyone and make everyone happy, and only getting hurt in the end. This is me saying I'm out. I won't be doing that any longer. I will be myself, and if you don't like it, there's the door, let me help you out.
I'm tired of allowing people to push me around, call me down, and make me feel like crap! Rubbish! No more.
I'm going to be the person I am, and the person I am met to be. Maybe with that, this depression will ease. But I know I'll be happier for it. I know the type of person that I am, and I'm always afraid that no one else will like me and I'll be alone. But with talking to some friends, and seeing what the said to me, about me... to me! lol. And thinking about that, I know this is the right thing to do.
I will not let anyone push me around again.
This is going to be a very hard, and probably long journey for me. I will need help with it. In the end, I know this is what is best.
Much love.