It's that time again...
That time of the week were I am just so tired ALL the time. I'm drained, and I think it's mainly from stress. It amazes me how stress, depression and anxiety all live in the same house together. I'm trying to be that happy, bubbly person everyone wants me to be, but you just get tired sometimes. And with that, comes the bouts of depression, feelings of worthlessness, and self loathing.
Today I actually made a list of things that people have told me. Very negative things. I stopped at my second page and thought for a moment. I tried to think of good things about myself, and truthfully, I could only think of one. "I gave birth". That was it. That's the only positive thing I could come up with. I was able to do something that trillions of women thought history have been able to do. That's the most positive thing about me? I gave birth? I don't know about you, but that's really, truly sad.
I really did try. I did! But I'm starting to think that maybe I'm not a "good" person after all. Just so negative. All those people throughout the years were probably right about me.
Even the people that are still in my life.
Maybe there's a reason most people stay away. I don't blame them.
Hell, I'm disgusted just looking at myself in the mirror anymore.
Outward appearance, and inward personality. Both disgusting to look at and be around.
Lovely.
Sure I can change it, but really, what's the point anymore. It's far to late now.
Ignore my babbles. No need to concern yourself with that.
Looking forward to meeting tkel_paris tomorrow evening! Hoping that I don't look to tired! I better cover up those dark circles. lol.