*twitch*
This one is really nothing more than a very short first chapter, so I feel a bit guilty. Well, until I reread the part where Haku is Satan.
Story or Series Title: A Fallen Angel's Fate, Destiny, And Desire
Fandom: Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi/Spirited Away
Culprit Author's Name: Rain Spirit
Summary: A Devil and a Fallen-Angel meets, what will happen? PLEASE R&R Overlooking the grammatical typo, knowing this genre I'd have to say 'horrific kinky evil sex' is what will happen.
Full Name (plus titles if any): Master Haku, Ruler of Hell. Please, feel free to do a spit-take right about now.
Full Species(es): Demonic Bastard "Canon" Stu
Hair Color (include adjectives): "...dark green hair down to his shoulder..."
Eye Color (include adjectives): "...same eye colour [as his hair]..."
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "...the perfect face of a devil, cold yet handsome in a way..." Is this the same Haku here?
Special Possessions (if any): All of the underworld, including Fallen-Angels, evil souls, and the futile tears of my faith in fanfiction.
Annoying Origin: He's Satan. Just - it's Haku. I can't be the only who finds it simultaneously hilarious and deeply depressing that the writer can equate Haku to Lucifer.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Supposedly an 'AU' Haku. Will shack up with a Fallen-Angel Chihiro who, apparently, was flirting (unintentionally) with a prince in heaven. Chihiro was flirting with Jesus? I feel sacrilegious.
Annoying Special Abilities: To be a sophisticated evil bastard, and yet be torn by the incredible beauty that Chihiro possesses. Will someone reference these writers to theboyharuka's excellent bit on Haku, Chihiro, and beautiful women? It's here.
Other Annoying Traits: He's teh ebil!
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
'So you are the Fallen-Angel?'
'Yes, Master Haku'
'Lift your head.'
'Yes, Master Haku.'
The Fallen-Angel lifted her head. Haku was stunned. She was not like any girl she had seen in Hell. She looked pale, but her brown eyes showed the happy and sad feeling mixed under her eyes. Her dark brown hair tied into a bun behind her head, exposing her long, white neck.
'What is your name?' Haku asked roughly.
'Chihiro, Master Haku.'
'Why have you.'
Before Haku can ask her what had happened, Chihiro collapsed onto the floor. Haku gently lifted her from the floor and put her onto the bed. It was now that he noticed all the bruises and cuts she had all over her body. He called in the doctor immediately to heal her wounds.
Haku didn't know why he cared for this Fallen-Angel so much; it was like she had captured his soul the moment her eyes stared right into his. He was enchanted and pulled deeply into her; he knew he needed to keep her beside him, to protect her. No matter what, he decided, she was his.
The disclaimer:
All the characters in Spirited Away do not belong to me. I'm simply using them to create my stories (cause I'm too lazy to think of names)
This is fanfiction! Don't bastardize the characters because you can't think of original names for your own characters; that's incredibly rude.
This has been covered elsewhere by people far more esteemable than me, but what the heck are you doing writing an alternate universe with the characters knowingly OUT of character? Just stop. Leave the fandom alone and go write your own fiction.
This fic annoyed the hell out of me. Haku and Chihiro are both dangerously out of character, the sentences read rather awkwardly in many places, the plot is both cliché and apparently "inspired" by a novel she read a few months ago, and sweet jumpin' jelly beans, what in God's name inspired her to have Haku be SATAN?
Godawful Fanfic Rating: 4/6
Story or Series Title: A Fallen Angel's Fate, Destiny, And Desire
Fandom: Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi/Spirited Away
Culprit Author's Name: Rain Spirit
Summary: A Devil and a Fallen-Angel meets, what will happen? PLEASE R&R Overlooking the grammatical typo, knowing this genre I'd have to say 'horrific kinky evil sex' is what will happen.
Full Name (plus titles if any): Master Haku, Ruler of Hell. Please, feel free to do a spit-take right about now.
Full Species(es): Demonic Bastard "Canon" Stu
Hair Color (include adjectives): "...dark green hair down to his shoulder..."
Eye Color (include adjectives): "...same eye colour [as his hair]..."
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "...the perfect face of a devil, cold yet handsome in a way..." Is this the same Haku here?
Special Possessions (if any): All of the underworld, including Fallen-Angels, evil souls, and the futile tears of my faith in fanfiction.
Annoying Origin: He's Satan. Just - it's Haku. I can't be the only who finds it simultaneously hilarious and deeply depressing that the writer can equate Haku to Lucifer.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Supposedly an 'AU' Haku. Will shack up with a Fallen-Angel Chihiro who, apparently, was flirting (unintentionally) with a prince in heaven. Chihiro was flirting with Jesus? I feel sacrilegious.
Annoying Special Abilities: To be a sophisticated evil bastard, and yet be torn by the incredible beauty that Chihiro possesses. Will someone reference these writers to theboyharuka's excellent bit on Haku, Chihiro, and beautiful women? It's here.
Other Annoying Traits: He's teh ebil!
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
'So you are the Fallen-Angel?'
'Yes, Master Haku'
'Lift your head.'
'Yes, Master Haku.'
The Fallen-Angel lifted her head. Haku was stunned. She was not like any girl she had seen in Hell. She looked pale, but her brown eyes showed the happy and sad feeling mixed under her eyes. Her dark brown hair tied into a bun behind her head, exposing her long, white neck.
'What is your name?' Haku asked roughly.
'Chihiro, Master Haku.'
'Why have you.'
Before Haku can ask her what had happened, Chihiro collapsed onto the floor. Haku gently lifted her from the floor and put her onto the bed. It was now that he noticed all the bruises and cuts she had all over her body. He called in the doctor immediately to heal her wounds.
Haku didn't know why he cared for this Fallen-Angel so much; it was like she had captured his soul the moment her eyes stared right into his. He was enchanted and pulled deeply into her; he knew he needed to keep her beside him, to protect her. No matter what, he decided, she was his.
The disclaimer:
All the characters in Spirited Away do not belong to me. I'm simply using them to create my stories (cause I'm too lazy to think of names)
This is fanfiction! Don't bastardize the characters because you can't think of original names for your own characters; that's incredibly rude.
This has been covered elsewhere by people far more esteemable than me, but what the heck are you doing writing an alternate universe with the characters knowingly OUT of character? Just stop. Leave the fandom alone and go write your own fiction.
This fic annoyed the hell out of me. Haku and Chihiro are both dangerously out of character, the sentences read rather awkwardly in many places, the plot is both cliché and apparently "inspired" by a novel she read a few months ago, and sweet jumpin' jelly beans, what in God's name inspired her to have Haku be SATAN?
Godawful Fanfic Rating: 4/6