OMG shez soo0o punk!!!1!!
Not a single comment last time? Work up some outrage, people. ;]
Oh hell. Not another punk fic. Though I am, indeed, a geek, I think I can safely say real punks - and goths - would be offended by this sort of horrible misrepresentation.
Story or Series Title: A Punk and the Shy
Fandom: Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi/Spirited Away
Culprit Author's Name: kawaiilillaznkitsune
Summary: Loranne and her family come to the spirit world. Parents truned into pigs, how will they survive? And what if Loranne runs away for awhile only to come back with Chihiro? I cannot stress how much I LOATHE fics that recycle the canon in an attempt to appeal to readers. Please, just try for originality.
Full Name (plus titles if any): Loranne (no idea what purpose Monique has)
Full Species(es): Soft-Hearted Punk Sue/Replacement Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): Short hair
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not described
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Not described
Special Possessions (if any): A mini-stereo, a hoodie, and kewl new Aburaya name!!
She's so punk!
Annoying Origin: Loranne is not only a thirteen-year old American punk, she and her family just happen to be touring in Japan and, via a picnic table with burgers on it, cross into the spirit world. Shoot me now.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Irritates Yubaba with Good Charlotte music, befriends poor lonely Haku, and strives to bring Chihiro and Haku back together isn't it sweet?
Annoying Special Abilities: Does everything Chihiro did, only with greater ease, and can apparently cross language barriers easy as pie.
Other Annoying Traits: Just read it. Please.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
" Yo grandma!" Loranne said.
The ladies head suddenly snapped up. " You will not address me as such. My name is Yubaba, head of this bathhouse."
" Well, whatever."
Haku was shocked nobody spoke to Yubaba like that.
" I have no use for waste like you. I am very busy counting my money." Yubaba said.
" They want a job." Haku said.
" What the heck, I don't wanna job." Loranne said.
"Oh, so you don't want to save your parents?" Yubaba asked.
Loranne's eyes widened. " Ok, We'll get a job."
" Ha! After what you did I rather turn you into a lump of coal."
" YOU BETTER GIVES US A JOB!" Loranne shouted. Suddenly the curtain shook.
" Ssssshhhh, be quiet you'll wake my baby." Yubaba said.
Loranne smiled evilly. " Hand me my backpack, sis." Monique gave her sister her pack.
Loranne took out her mini stereo. She turned it max power.
"LIFESTYLE OF THE RICH AND THE FAMOUS. THEY'RE ALWAYS COMPLAININ' ALWAYS COMPLAININ' IF MONEY SUCH A PROBLEM WELL THEY GOT MANSIONS THINK WE SHOULD ROB THEM." All the while Loranne had been singing to the song.
" STOP!" Yubaba shouted. Loranne turned off the stereo. The baby started crying. Yubaba took a few minutes to him calm down.
" Fine. Have a job. Just don't do that again." Yubaba waved her hand and a paper flew at them. Loranne easily caught it. She signed it and handed it to Monique. She signed it as
well. The paper flew back at Yubaba. She read it.
" Hmmmm Loranne and Monique. Interesting." The letters changed. " From now on Monique your name is Ann and Loranne your name is...Lee."
I'm sure the author doesn't know this, but Chihiro's Aburaya name - Sen - is one of the figures that make up the name Chihiro, thus why the one figure remained stuck to the paper. If Yubaba can read, write, and speak English as this fic proposes, I still don't know how Monique could become Ann, much less Loranne becoming Lee.
" Whoa. That's one fat ass baby." Lee said.
"That's Boh, Yubaba's baby."
" Who's the husband?" Lee snickered.
" Play with me!" Boh cried out. " Or I'll cry!"
" So what cry for all I care." Lee said back. "Your mama ain't here."
" She isn't?" Boh said.
" Yeah..." Lee snickered. She went up to the babe. " Yo' mama is so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!" Lee laughed.
To her surprise Boh started laughing too. She sweatdropped.
" You know...that was supposed to be an insult." Lee said.
Boh just kept on laughing.
" Ok... I'll...go over there now." Lee exited the room. Haku at her heels.
" You got that on tape didn't you?" Lee asked.
" Yup."
" Man, what the hell is wrong with you people." Lee said. They went to their room. On Lee's futon she saw a note.
" What the hell!?!"
Lee opened it. It read:
Dear Lee,
We think your cute. Meet us at the Big bath at dawn.
Haku read it over Lee's shoulder with the camera and started laughing. Lee examined the envelope. It read S.W.A.K. She paled.
" Sealed with a kiss...?" She dropped the envelope. "It burns! It burns."
And burn it does.
This one is just overflowing with clichés: random song lyrics, mystical abilities to speak Japanese (or the Japanese now speak English, either one), and apparently believes she is a punk. Rather, I think the proper word is 'annoying.'
Can't rant. Too tired. Sentence fragments.
Godawful Fanfic Rating: 3/6
Oh hell. Not another punk fic. Though I am, indeed, a geek, I think I can safely say real punks - and goths - would be offended by this sort of horrible misrepresentation.
Story or Series Title: A Punk and the Shy
Fandom: Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi/Spirited Away
Culprit Author's Name: kawaiilillaznkitsune
Summary: Loranne and her family come to the spirit world. Parents truned into pigs, how will they survive? And what if Loranne runs away for awhile only to come back with Chihiro? I cannot stress how much I LOATHE fics that recycle the canon in an attempt to appeal to readers. Please, just try for originality.
Full Name (plus titles if any): Loranne (no idea what purpose Monique has)
Full Species(es): Soft-Hearted Punk Sue/Replacement Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): Short hair
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not described
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Not described
Special Possessions (if any): A mini-stereo, a hoodie, and kewl new Aburaya name!!
She's so punk!
Annoying Origin: Loranne is not only a thirteen-year old American punk, she and her family just happen to be touring in Japan and, via a picnic table with burgers on it, cross into the spirit world. Shoot me now.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Irritates Yubaba with Good Charlotte music, befriends poor lonely Haku, and strives to bring Chihiro and Haku back together isn't it sweet?
Annoying Special Abilities: Does everything Chihiro did, only with greater ease, and can apparently cross language barriers easy as pie.
Other Annoying Traits: Just read it. Please.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
" Yo grandma!" Loranne said.
The ladies head suddenly snapped up. " You will not address me as such. My name is Yubaba, head of this bathhouse."
" Well, whatever."
Haku was shocked nobody spoke to Yubaba like that.
" I have no use for waste like you. I am very busy counting my money." Yubaba said.
" They want a job." Haku said.
" What the heck, I don't wanna job." Loranne said.
"Oh, so you don't want to save your parents?" Yubaba asked.
Loranne's eyes widened. " Ok, We'll get a job."
" Ha! After what you did I rather turn you into a lump of coal."
" YOU BETTER GIVES US A JOB!" Loranne shouted. Suddenly the curtain shook.
" Ssssshhhh, be quiet you'll wake my baby." Yubaba said.
Loranne smiled evilly. " Hand me my backpack, sis." Monique gave her sister her pack.
Loranne took out her mini stereo. She turned it max power.
"LIFESTYLE OF THE RICH AND THE FAMOUS. THEY'RE ALWAYS COMPLAININ' ALWAYS COMPLAININ' IF MONEY SUCH A PROBLEM WELL THEY GOT MANSIONS THINK WE SHOULD ROB THEM." All the while Loranne had been singing to the song.
" STOP!" Yubaba shouted. Loranne turned off the stereo. The baby started crying. Yubaba took a few minutes to him calm down.
" Fine. Have a job. Just don't do that again." Yubaba waved her hand and a paper flew at them. Loranne easily caught it. She signed it and handed it to Monique. She signed it as
well. The paper flew back at Yubaba. She read it.
" Hmmmm Loranne and Monique. Interesting." The letters changed. " From now on Monique your name is Ann and Loranne your name is...Lee."
I'm sure the author doesn't know this, but Chihiro's Aburaya name - Sen - is one of the figures that make up the name Chihiro, thus why the one figure remained stuck to the paper. If Yubaba can read, write, and speak English as this fic proposes, I still don't know how Monique could become Ann, much less Loranne becoming Lee.
" Whoa. That's one fat ass baby." Lee said.
"That's Boh, Yubaba's baby."
" Who's the husband?" Lee snickered.
" Play with me!" Boh cried out. " Or I'll cry!"
" So what cry for all I care." Lee said back. "Your mama ain't here."
" She isn't?" Boh said.
" Yeah..." Lee snickered. She went up to the babe. " Yo' mama is so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!" Lee laughed.
To her surprise Boh started laughing too. She sweatdropped.
" You know...that was supposed to be an insult." Lee said.
Boh just kept on laughing.
" Ok... I'll...go over there now." Lee exited the room. Haku at her heels.
" You got that on tape didn't you?" Lee asked.
" Yup."
" Man, what the hell is wrong with you people." Lee said. They went to their room. On Lee's futon she saw a note.
" What the hell!?!"
Lee opened it. It read:
Dear Lee,
We think your cute. Meet us at the Big bath at dawn.
Haku read it over Lee's shoulder with the camera and started laughing. Lee examined the envelope. It read S.W.A.K. She paled.
" Sealed with a kiss...?" She dropped the envelope. "It burns! It burns."
And burn it does.
This one is just overflowing with clichés: random song lyrics, mystical abilities to speak Japanese (or the Japanese now speak English, either one), and apparently believes she is a punk. Rather, I think the proper word is 'annoying.'
Can't rant. Too tired. Sentence fragments.
Godawful Fanfic Rating: 3/6