It's not how you look like in that body, it's what you do with it. You are beautiful.
12/16/08
so my career at cbs has crashed and burned. all of my shifts were taken away due to "consolidation" (them being cheepasses). i was under appriciated and more importantly, under payed. as bad as it was, it was just sad that it took something that tragic to make me realize i was going nowhere there.
faster than i crashed and burned at cbs, i "rose from the ashes" at OAC (oxford athletic club... the health club next to our house that we've been going to for years). it really did give me the oppertunity to save myself. sure there are some major pros and cons, like with any job.
pros:
+ i'm surrounded by people... good people, positive people, all the time. i talk about books, life, club life, sports... anything. but the point is THERE'S SOMEONE THERE TO TALK TO AND IT'S NOT JUST BITCHING ABOUT THE PLACE.
+ i finally have a normal schedule. monday through friday. 8 hour, full time job. (i can't say 9 to 5 but we'll get to that later). my mind and body really needed that.
+ i see my mom WAY more
+ i started training and working out more after work. i'm really pushing myself and the people there are always there to support me and keep me going.
+ i'm getting paid more, plus benefits!
cons:
- I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT 4AM!!!!
- more importantly, I HAVE TO GO TO BED AT 9PM!!! *cries*
- i wear practiaclly the same thing everyday.
- every time i clean a machine, i'm reminded how i'm working WAY below my potential. and while yes, i took this job to help pay off my loan, that loan was for an education that has absolutely nothing to do with what i'm doing.
- sometimes, people are just annoying.
not that going to bed at 9 sunday through thursday helped at all, but i still have no social life to speak of. i don't care too much cause i'm always too tired, but still. ugh.... sometimes i wonder where this is all going....
I've been reading like a nutcase. it started with twilight (and that spiraled out of control). i got sick of reading those over and over again *rolls eyes*, and my new kick started when i went to the library looking for a book called "the gargoyle". i didn't want to buy it because it's only in hard back and i didn't know if i was going to like it. that first visit really opened my eyes to how much i really missed and loved libraries. i tired to get several books while i was there, one of which was "the host", s.meyers adult novel, but i was put on a wait list for that. "the gargoyle" was amazing. totally not what i was picturing, but i don't know if i would have normally picked it up had i really known what it was like. when i went back the next time, since i was still waiting for "the host", i picked up a book from a recommendation from a friend @ cbs called "the time traveler's wife". it's kinda hard to explain. the back of the book little snippit says it best: "when henry meets claire, he's 28 and she's 20. he's a hip librarian and she's an art student. henry has never met claire before in his life. claire has known henry since she was 7." henry and claire's relationship is beautiful, just what i needed to continue my edward/bella high. warning though, i cried like a little girl the last 100 pages or so. just so moving. luckily, "the host" was ready for me when i was done. now, i was against reading this book almost from the moment i heard about it. i didn't know how she was going to be able to handle science fiction and when i read the prologue in the bookstore, it bored me. but hannah's roommate, who is just as big of a twi-hard as i am, said it was a slow start but just as good as twilight. so maybe it was because i wasn't being as crucial as after i read twilight because i had just read two other books of different nature and was on a role, but damn did i plunge head first inot this. and once i started i coudln't stop. and what really great is that even though it's a completely different subject matter, you can TELL it's stephenie. she just has this way of sucking you in and... not just relating to the character, but BEING them. i strongly encourage everyone out there to read these three books. the last two's sizes may be intimidating, but it won't be so overwhelming once you start.
i've added and subtracted to my DVR list (can't really call it my tv schedule cause i sleep through more than half of them *rolls eyes*)
- : terminator:scc. it just got a bit boring.
- : heroes. got incredibly stupid and just too weird.
+ : leverage. new show on tnt with the guy who played lindsey in angel!! the characters are REALLY funny. the show is a like a really cute oceans 11, but with bad guys turing into robin hood-esk do gooders.
yesterday was the four year anniversary of my surgery. hard to believe. four years and one day of the infamous rib hole:)
and that anniversary can only mean one other thing... christmas time. the holidays have really lost their meaning to me. and not just this holiday... all of them. what's the significance? maybe i'm just too much of a cynic.
1/3/09
i'm here in the b studio... here in the building for the first time in almost two months. i've worked here once since that stupid night i walked in and found out they gave my last shift to beaker without telling me. i've had a couple of things pop up since then, but i haven't really wanted to disturb my sleep schedule too much. especially with working full time at oac now, it's just too hard to go back and forth. but when jake needed his 6 to 11 covered, it actually let me sleep in, so i jumped at it. when i walked in the studio this morning, it was incredibly weird, and i wasn't expecting that.
the holidays came and went. nice and low key. i asked mom not to get me anything, but since did anyways. *le sigh* but she got me a couple of really nice things, so i was greatful. plus i got some great things from the girls. we had a great night at hannah's... starting with a dinner with me and hannie and mommy and daddy rosen at aladdins. soooo yummy. and for some reason, incredibly funny. if i thought i could get a job out in dc, i would consider moving out there, just to be with the two of them again. i'm starting to realize how much i really miss them when they're gone.
um, so yeah, i'd totally rather be at the club right now working out than here? crazy, right? it's not like spend enough of my time there or anything *rolls eyes* but yeah... i mean, once i got on a roll and a schedule with working out, i'm actually enjoying it. monday i train with holly (who kicks my ass). tuesday i think i'm gonna start taking the new yoga class they're offering. the other 3 days i do cardio for almost an hour and the weight training stuff holly gave me (mostly stuff to strengthen my shoulder... stupid scar tissue)
ok so i'm gonna get going. i want to finish re-reading the host (my own brand of heroin ;) ) and then start dead after dark!! i was talking with a girl at barnes and noble the other day that had read them, and she said i should definatly read the first one before i start watching the show, so i'm gonna do that. OOO and she recomeneded another book to me, which i'm gonna start after dead called world war z, a "historical" account of the great zombie war. i know... sounds weird. but i read the first 20 pages or so in the store (cause i thought she was crazy too) and it was like... *drool*. sooo yeah. ook bye!
peace love and pearl jam....