Galby
Ok, nothing is known about the uber-evil baddie... so I'm taking it into my own hands and writing the ending of Book III. (Part serious, part parody)
Eragon burst into the room after Arya was sent ahead to open the door for him.
"Where are you, you evil king!" he exclaimed gigantically.
... I glanced up from my papers and then placed down the accounts, standing. "Why are you shouting?" I asked, moving from my desk to where there stood a boy in the doorway. He looked me over and I smiled as his face became confused.
"Expecting someone else?" I asked. He blinked at me and then his face hardened. He shouted words in the Ancient Language, words to kill, and I shut my eyes. The words that would save me appeared and I mouthed them as I cast the counter-spell. My body was surrounded by a shield of power and I braced myself as his spell hit the shield.
There was no break and I let down the shield.
"How dare you," I growled when I was certain I was fine. Moving to where the boy was I grabbed his collar and jerked him. "How dare you attack a member of the royal family! I will have you drawn and quartered!"
"I am Eragon Shadeslayer! A Rider here to keel you!" the boy sputtered. I pushed him away from myself, wiping my hands on my clothes.
"A Rider? Oh, good gods above..."
"There are no gods! Gods are dumb, the elfies told me!"
This boy was insane. I shook my head and returned to my desk, glancing to the elf-maiden. She stood like ice and watched me with eyes that seemed frozen. Of course, she was an elf and probably told that emotions were weak and pushed to the breaking point, only to gain an ego and... leather?? She wore leather? I found my desk and sat in it, the horror of the land.
"The gods," I said calmly, "Are real. It is good to believe in a higher power and it is good to at least have the hope of an afterlife. Paradise is better than nothingness."
The elf's eyes narrowed and she made certain that her hips swayed as she leaned against the wall and crossed her arms over breasts. "Show me this Paradise then! Show me a god!" she challanged.
Ooh... I had struck a nerve. Now amused I faced her while the sputtering boy was trying to keep his five-foot sword up with one hand.
"Have you ever seen the birth of a child? The sun rise? A storm blow over so that a rainbow appears in the sky? Look at those and tell me there is no god. Or gods, as you wish, but there is something."
She narrowed her eyes more and I could not help but notice that her eyebrow were annoyingly sharp. How did she manage this?
"I watched the sun rise once... it wasn't that speshul."
"Fool," I replied. She unsheathed her sword and I did the same with my own blade. A spark stung my arm as our swords met.
Elf or not, she was a woman. And angry... anger was never an advantage in battle. She tried to combine sword moves and I parried her next strike. Impossibe to do something like combining moves. One had to finish an attack and start another. Technically this could be called combining, but stopping half-way through one move and starting another? Madness!
I disarmed her and caught her wrists before she reached for the blade. My sword was returned to its sheath and I took out a dagger and placed it to her throat.
"Do not," I said, "Attack me again. I shall not show the same mercy twice." I pushed her away and then turned again to the sputtering boy.
"Y-you! You are Evul! They told me you were! Evil!"
"I beg your pardon? How am I 'evul'?"
"Spearing babies!"
At the memory my chest seemed to close around my heart and crush it. I took a deep breath and turned away. "I had no control over that," I said slowly. "The orcs did it on their own without any direction from me." I forced the thoughts away before I turned to face the boy again.
He glared at me. "Evul," he said stubbornly. "Evul, evul, evul."
"Eragon," Arya said. "Why are you speaking in such terms? You normally speak to beautifully. Just like myself, or a king, even though you are a mere farm-boy."
Oh, gods... "Guards!" I called over my shoulder. "Guards! Lock these two up for treason and attempted regicide."
I could no longer stand these two... annoying wretches.
The guards came and the two were quickly arrested. The healers told me later that they were mad and that the waters of Palancer Valley were poisoned. Another young man, Roran, was also insane from the waters. Sadly the whole village was truly mad... as well as most of the dwarves and elves. Something about me being evil and other things.
Ahh yes... and the forest orgies. I shudder at the thought and pray that the animals get better.
Perhaps I can call on my good friend Gandalf to help clear things up. Gimli can sort out things with the elves-- who were really false-elves that wanted to break away from Rivendell-- and Aragorn and Arwen, the former my cousin, can help with returning my kingdom to order.
Eragon burst into the room after Arya was sent ahead to open the door for him.
"Where are you, you evil king!" he exclaimed gigantically.
... I glanced up from my papers and then placed down the accounts, standing. "Why are you shouting?" I asked, moving from my desk to where there stood a boy in the doorway. He looked me over and I smiled as his face became confused.
"Expecting someone else?" I asked. He blinked at me and then his face hardened. He shouted words in the Ancient Language, words to kill, and I shut my eyes. The words that would save me appeared and I mouthed them as I cast the counter-spell. My body was surrounded by a shield of power and I braced myself as his spell hit the shield.
There was no break and I let down the shield.
"How dare you," I growled when I was certain I was fine. Moving to where the boy was I grabbed his collar and jerked him. "How dare you attack a member of the royal family! I will have you drawn and quartered!"
"I am Eragon Shadeslayer! A Rider here to keel you!" the boy sputtered. I pushed him away from myself, wiping my hands on my clothes.
"A Rider? Oh, good gods above..."
"There are no gods! Gods are dumb, the elfies told me!"
This boy was insane. I shook my head and returned to my desk, glancing to the elf-maiden. She stood like ice and watched me with eyes that seemed frozen. Of course, she was an elf and probably told that emotions were weak and pushed to the breaking point, only to gain an ego and... leather?? She wore leather? I found my desk and sat in it, the horror of the land.
"The gods," I said calmly, "Are real. It is good to believe in a higher power and it is good to at least have the hope of an afterlife. Paradise is better than nothingness."
The elf's eyes narrowed and she made certain that her hips swayed as she leaned against the wall and crossed her arms over breasts. "Show me this Paradise then! Show me a god!" she challanged.
Ooh... I had struck a nerve. Now amused I faced her while the sputtering boy was trying to keep his five-foot sword up with one hand.
"Have you ever seen the birth of a child? The sun rise? A storm blow over so that a rainbow appears in the sky? Look at those and tell me there is no god. Or gods, as you wish, but there is something."
She narrowed her eyes more and I could not help but notice that her eyebrow were annoyingly sharp. How did she manage this?
"I watched the sun rise once... it wasn't that speshul."
"Fool," I replied. She unsheathed her sword and I did the same with my own blade. A spark stung my arm as our swords met.
Elf or not, she was a woman. And angry... anger was never an advantage in battle. She tried to combine sword moves and I parried her next strike. Impossibe to do something like combining moves. One had to finish an attack and start another. Technically this could be called combining, but stopping half-way through one move and starting another? Madness!
I disarmed her and caught her wrists before she reached for the blade. My sword was returned to its sheath and I took out a dagger and placed it to her throat.
"Do not," I said, "Attack me again. I shall not show the same mercy twice." I pushed her away and then turned again to the sputtering boy.
"Y-you! You are Evul! They told me you were! Evil!"
"I beg your pardon? How am I 'evul'?"
"Spearing babies!"
At the memory my chest seemed to close around my heart and crush it. I took a deep breath and turned away. "I had no control over that," I said slowly. "The orcs did it on their own without any direction from me." I forced the thoughts away before I turned to face the boy again.
He glared at me. "Evul," he said stubbornly. "Evul, evul, evul."
"Eragon," Arya said. "Why are you speaking in such terms? You normally speak to beautifully. Just like myself, or a king, even though you are a mere farm-boy."
Oh, gods... "Guards!" I called over my shoulder. "Guards! Lock these two up for treason and attempted regicide."
I could no longer stand these two... annoying wretches.
The guards came and the two were quickly arrested. The healers told me later that they were mad and that the waters of Palancer Valley were poisoned. Another young man, Roran, was also insane from the waters. Sadly the whole village was truly mad... as well as most of the dwarves and elves. Something about me being evil and other things.
Ahh yes... and the forest orgies. I shudder at the thought and pray that the animals get better.
Perhaps I can call on my good friend Gandalf to help clear things up. Gimli can sort out things with the elves-- who were really false-elves that wanted to break away from Rivendell-- and Aragorn and Arwen, the former my cousin, can help with returning my kingdom to order.