Why My Body Sucks-I Have No Self-Control-Binging on Vegetables

[antiqrule1]

I just want to be thin. I hate that I can't maintain it. I can't starve myself the way I used to, I guess. I know that sounds like a ridiculous and unhealthy complaint, but it is what it is. The only thing I can think to do for myself is eat a diet of just vegetables, lean meats, and weekend vegemite toast. That's the most I can do for now. I'm so ashamed of myself, and I'm sad. I feel fat and disgusting and terrible. I had two solid weeks of being thin, and then it was over because I became ravenous and my work has bags of almonds and string cheese. Today, I ate almost an entire platter of vegetables with guacamole, an ounce of walnuts, a spinach salad without dressing, part of a cookie, a bag of turkey pepperoni, and a cup of broccoli soup (without anything but broccoli and spices). I'm gross. Ugh. I just don't want to worry about this anymore. People like me better when I'm thin. I just hope I don't put on too much weight just eating vegetables, lean meats, and vegemite toast. I keep thinking that other people would be healthy and thin on what I generally eat. Why am I not? What's wrong with me? I need to forget about this.

Talked to David and we had a wonderful conversation, about other things. I don't think he'd be able to handle me in a relationship, though he thinks he could. He's not my type, anyway, but still.

Now I have to get ready for a Little Boots concert at Webster Hall.