Hipsters, Cartoons, and Masturbatory Dissatisfaction
I feel a little Bridget Jones-y, but I need to lose weight and smoke less. Or, I need to smoke not at all. I've had a number of cigarettes this week, which is not at all like me, and I don't like the way my tongue feels. As far as my diet is concerned, I've been eating like shit ever since I started working at TA Sciences. It's because they have all that free food. It's killing me. Nothing is healthy there. Even the yogurt has sugar. I feel gross, especially after today. And I spent a ridiculous amount of money in the past two days. Ugh.
I've had so much to drink today. Today, Katherine, Sari, and I went to the Spoons, Toons, and Booze Halloween Special this morning, had an overwhelming amount of cereal and booze and then went around drinking like fish for the entire day. I bought these crazy neon-pink glasses and a pair of tights at Peach Tree. It's kind of sad because I didn't go to Montauk on account of my lack of funds. I feel badly about that. Last night was good, though-Leslie and I went to her roommate's gallery opening and then went out for drinks with a bunch of Chilean people. I asked Mark what he was up to and then tried to set him up with Leslie when he come to Williamsburg. He still likes me, unfortunately. He has this beard that is just so unsavory to me. He's such a hipster, but I'm unbelievably not attracted to him. He tried to kiss me last night, though, as he was leaving the Commodore. It was funny. I avoided his lips and kept going, "Nope!" and "No thanks!" and "That's okay!" and he kept saying things like, "Just a little one?" "No one can see." "Just a, just a tiny one!" Oy. No. He keeps inviting me to his apartment in Bed-Stuy, where he has a chicken coop. Ummm...no thanks hahaha.
I need sex so badly, though. I haven't spoken with John, and it's better this way. I almost wish I'd slept with him just once before I'd broken up with him. That's his fault, not mine. But still, it's been way too long. I've woken up a number of times in the last month actually touching myself (sorry if that's TMI) and wondering why I'm not having an orgasm. Then I wake up and I'm like, Whoa! Maybe I should just masturbate and get it all over with. I just don't have the time, energy, or dedication for that. I just need sex. With a guy I"m attracted to, though. I think it'll help me get over John, too. Actually...getting over him hasn't been too bad this time. I'm pretty much fine. My life has gone on. I'm just staying busy. John and I said we'd be friends. I'm not so naive as to think that's going to happen easily, but we haven't even spoken. He seems pretty over everything, too. We talked and when I said, "How are you?" He said, "Pretty good." That pissed me off, but I'm glad he said it. I don't need to feel guilty about not being with him. And this way, I can just get on with my life. I'm glad he moved with Sergio. The two of them can have their experience together and leave me out of it.
I'm supposed to go out again tonight. Ugh...I'm so broke. I don't want to! But we're going to parties tonight. Hopefully I can be poor for them and drink for free. I really don't want to drink at all. My stomach is sooo pissed off at me.
I've had so much to drink today. Today, Katherine, Sari, and I went to the Spoons, Toons, and Booze Halloween Special this morning, had an overwhelming amount of cereal and booze and then went around drinking like fish for the entire day. I bought these crazy neon-pink glasses and a pair of tights at Peach Tree. It's kind of sad because I didn't go to Montauk on account of my lack of funds. I feel badly about that. Last night was good, though-Leslie and I went to her roommate's gallery opening and then went out for drinks with a bunch of Chilean people. I asked Mark what he was up to and then tried to set him up with Leslie when he come to Williamsburg. He still likes me, unfortunately. He has this beard that is just so unsavory to me. He's such a hipster, but I'm unbelievably not attracted to him. He tried to kiss me last night, though, as he was leaving the Commodore. It was funny. I avoided his lips and kept going, "Nope!" and "No thanks!" and "That's okay!" and he kept saying things like, "Just a little one?" "No one can see." "Just a, just a tiny one!" Oy. No. He keeps inviting me to his apartment in Bed-Stuy, where he has a chicken coop. Ummm...no thanks hahaha.
I need sex so badly, though. I haven't spoken with John, and it's better this way. I almost wish I'd slept with him just once before I'd broken up with him. That's his fault, not mine. But still, it's been way too long. I've woken up a number of times in the last month actually touching myself (sorry if that's TMI) and wondering why I'm not having an orgasm. Then I wake up and I'm like, Whoa! Maybe I should just masturbate and get it all over with. I just don't have the time, energy, or dedication for that. I just need sex. With a guy I"m attracted to, though. I think it'll help me get over John, too. Actually...getting over him hasn't been too bad this time. I'm pretty much fine. My life has gone on. I'm just staying busy. John and I said we'd be friends. I'm not so naive as to think that's going to happen easily, but we haven't even spoken. He seems pretty over everything, too. We talked and when I said, "How are you?" He said, "Pretty good." That pissed me off, but I'm glad he said it. I don't need to feel guilty about not being with him. And this way, I can just get on with my life. I'm glad he moved with Sergio. The two of them can have their experience together and leave me out of it.
I'm supposed to go out again tonight. Ugh...I'm so broke. I don't want to! But we're going to parties tonight. Hopefully I can be poor for them and drink for free. I really don't want to drink at all. My stomach is sooo pissed off at me.