A Ghost Is All That's Left
Things are strange.
It's strange when I have bad dreams, and despite superior logic, I still lay awake staring around my room for thirty minutes. I sneak through my house like that dream figure is still lurking about, ready to pounce. There's really nothing like dreaming that some guy is putting a chainsaw to your neck and then allowing it to happen, knowing that the dream will restart at some point along the line.
What's worse, is killing him with his own chainsaw, dismembering him (cause the bad guys always get up for more), and then watching him disembowel himself. I picked his head up and watched as all his innards spilled outward. After all this had taken place, a phone rang down the hall. In my dream, it was known that the phones were dead.
Why oh why must my brain torment me so?
Relationships are weird, too.
I am an eternally unhappy person. And without a way to explain it, no less. I just exist. And external stimuli is what really makes or breaks my moods. So when I get into a relationship, a person is supposed to be un/happy based upon the performance of their other, correct? Well. I totally broke my girlfriend's heart telling her I was an unhappy person.
She pondered breaking up with me (for my greater good? I never understood that).
Needless to say, we did not. I described to her (as best I could) my dilemma and/or condition (as it is). She's a wonderful girl. And despite my past scrapes and bruises from relationships, I am really learning to trust in her. It is no easy task, I tell you. But for the greater good that is my relationship with her, I am doing all I can.
On another note, though of less interest. I told my dad I'm an atheist. I will equate it only to coming out of the actual closet, in regard to awkwardness and other issues. Though I'm sure at some point the girl I currently hold dear will become my girl for like... y'know, ever, I have no idea how Karen (or her family) would respond to that. They're all religious, so.
Awkward much. How do religious people generally react to something like that? I mean, they're not technically my family, but still. They sure treat me a lot like family.
And that is all I currently have to say.
It's strange when I have bad dreams, and despite superior logic, I still lay awake staring around my room for thirty minutes. I sneak through my house like that dream figure is still lurking about, ready to pounce. There's really nothing like dreaming that some guy is putting a chainsaw to your neck and then allowing it to happen, knowing that the dream will restart at some point along the line.
What's worse, is killing him with his own chainsaw, dismembering him (cause the bad guys always get up for more), and then watching him disembowel himself. I picked his head up and watched as all his innards spilled outward. After all this had taken place, a phone rang down the hall. In my dream, it was known that the phones were dead.
Why oh why must my brain torment me so?
Relationships are weird, too.
I am an eternally unhappy person. And without a way to explain it, no less. I just exist. And external stimuli is what really makes or breaks my moods. So when I get into a relationship, a person is supposed to be un/happy based upon the performance of their other, correct? Well. I totally broke my girlfriend's heart telling her I was an unhappy person.
She pondered breaking up with me (for my greater good? I never understood that).
Needless to say, we did not. I described to her (as best I could) my dilemma and/or condition (as it is). She's a wonderful girl. And despite my past scrapes and bruises from relationships, I am really learning to trust in her. It is no easy task, I tell you. But for the greater good that is my relationship with her, I am doing all I can.
On another note, though of less interest. I told my dad I'm an atheist. I will equate it only to coming out of the actual closet, in regard to awkwardness and other issues. Though I'm sure at some point the girl I currently hold dear will become my girl for like... y'know, ever, I have no idea how Karen (or her family) would respond to that. They're all religious, so.
Awkward much. How do religious people generally react to something like that? I mean, they're not technically my family, but still. They sure treat me a lot like family.
And that is all I currently have to say.