8 Mar 2006
When my motion ceases and I have a moment of perfectly stilled contemplation, I wonder what has effected me. There are truths that are engraved into my brain, yet for the life of me, i am almost entirely incapable of restraining my negativity. Either by my own contempt, or perhaps something else. Were it a lesser situation, my interest would move to other affairs. However, I have difficulty trusting in my own judgment. Or, rather, the reality of what I so desperately want. In final truth, I have no doubts in the way I feel for her. I'm just terrified of everything that could happen. I'm practically giving my life to this girl. Not just the span of time therein, but potentially my well-being as well. The past is over, but why does it still haunt me? This girl is unlike any other. She's genuine, she really loves me. I feel that enough time with her would thaw me. I hope that this is really the one I've been led to believe. As much as we may love each other, I just don't want to be alone. Not after everything she's shown and given me.