RELIGION RANTS (POST-HOLY WEEK POST)
Without me really noticing, Holy Week just passed. Once again, my mom wore her veil of blessedness and crown of infallibility and asked us to participate in every Filipino Holy Week activity imaginable: Prusisyon, Bisita Iglesia, Alay Lakad, Stations of the Cross, Senakulo, Pabasa, hear mass 3212349130923 times, etc.
I come from a very religious family. My parents should be considered for canonization with the way they follow the Catholic path. I studied for 14 years in a Catholic school and in a Catholic-not to mention Royal and Pontifical-university. But despite my undoubtedly Catholic upbringing, I still don’t subscribe to most Catholic customs. I got burned out of my family’s over-religiousness. I think there’s such thing as excessive faith.
As soon as hair started to magically grow in my armpit and my mind was mature enough to pinpoint the demarcation line between reality and idealism, I started to question some facets of Catholicism. Modern day religion has unconsciously developed a stubborn sense of dissonance and intolerance in me.
I don’t hear mass every Sunday because I can’t stand most priests anymore. There was one time when a priest told us in his homily to “master the art of sacrificing.” Before the mass ended, he asked for more donations because he wants to install new air-conditioners for the church. Then there was this guest priest in our neighborhood chapel who told us to “shy away from material possessions.” After the mass, he drove away in his white Ford Lynx.
Talking with God one-on-one, I believe, is more effective than joining hundreds of other people inside the church. Praying directly to the Man Up There is more personal and more solemn. You don’t have someone telling you to sing in unison with the others, you don’t have someone telling you what to reply, and you don’t have someone telling you when to stand, to sit, or to kneel. I feel like Catholicism is being grandiosely shoved in my repulsive face whenever I hear mass.
Whether we admit it or not, we Filipinos are convenient Catholics. We only remember the Lord when we’re in a pickle: “Lord, please make me pass my finals exam even though I didn’t bother to study at all” or “Almighty God, please magically put food in our refrigerator, just like when you multiplied fish and bread during your heydays.” We also love to make surprise promises to the Lord when we’re in a royally drastic situation: “Oh God, I promise to pray the rosary every day, just don’t make me shit now inside the FX” or “Lord my love, I promise to confess all my sins and hear mass every Sunday, just don’t make my girlfriend pregnant.”
Speaking of confession, me and my family went inside the box last week as part of our Holy Week tradition. I was waiting for my turn when I realized every single person who came out of the confession box had this fresh-happy-spiritual look on his/her face. They all looked like they just came from a fantasy land of golden unicorns and serenading leprechauns. As for me, I came out with my same repulsive face.
Still waiting for my turn, I also wondered how long does it take for a person to commit a sin after going to confession. Purity is ephemeral in us since we are not part of God’s haloed posse. I sin as soon as I see a pretty girl wearing an ultramicroscopic miniskirt. I sin again as soon as I get envious of another guy’s rubber shoes. It’s safe to say that a newly repented person won’t go through a day without disobeying one of Catholicism’s Five Hundred Million Guidelines to an Immaculate Life or Catholicism’s 101 Musts to Get a VIP to Heaven. It’s impossible not to sin because we have natural uncontrollable feelings. For instance, why is envy a sin (a capital sin at that)? It’s inherent in us people. No one can completely prevent himself from feeling envious of other people-and I mean no one. Not Oprah Winfrey, not the Dalai Lama, not even a megastar like Sharon Cuneta. Pass
Don’t get me wrong here, I still believe in God, but I also believe in karma, recreation, and other aspects of Hinduism and several philosophical theories. What I’m trying to say is what’s important is that you have faith. You believe in something and your actions are bounded by it.