(no subject)
ladies and gentlemen, please gather 'round to get a sneak peak into mike millers action packed weekend. starring: MIKE, ashley, mike g, hallissey, some homeless guy, a sex shop retailer, people on the subway, aaaaand christopher walken (not appearing in this story)
so friday. friday was my friend ashley's birthday (ashley is a guy...funny name huh?). ashley approaches me in school and asks me if i would like to go to the city with him and a couple people for his birthday, i kindly oblige. later, as i am driving ashley home while we wait for the 4.05 train, he asks me to pull over so he can buy a pipe at cvs. once bought i learned a valuble lesson about pipes, ashley doesnt know how to use one (of course neither do i but from my vast experience with the marijuanna pipe i had an idea) so we schmoke it and then realize we only have 25 minutes till the train leaves, plenty of time. as we are driving there our friend hallissey calls and says he may not be able to make the 4.05 trian but says if he really rushes he may be able to make it. so we get there, meet up with mike g, buy our tickets and wait, just as chris arrives and starts to buy his tickets the train approaches, and then leaves because the machine took too long so we had to wait for the 4.30 train, fun. once in the city we take a look down canal street for something cool, anything really. my friend ashley tells us that he wants to buy a fake rolex but we cant find one. once we had given up and were on the way somewhere else, a chinese man standing on a stoop mutters "rolex, rolex." intrigued by the dark figure we approached and said we were interested. he started leading us down one street then another and we finally ended up in front of a warehouse. he invited us all in to follow but the rest of my friends say no way. i figure we followed him all the way here itd be a shame to chicken out now, so i entered, followed by my less than brave companions. once inside the man tells us the watch is $55. ashley, always looking for a bargain, trys to get him to down the price to $35, the man says no, they try to make us stay but eventua;ly we start to leave. halfway down the hallway the man calls back ok, $35. ashley says no and we walk out. upon walking out we begin to strike ashley for being a dumbass, he explains that all he has is a hundred dollar bill and he was afraid they would rob him, what a dumbfuck. so afterwords we head towards grenich(sp?) village. there we see many porn like shops but also some cool shit too. we enter one shop and upon entry we realize we are in a sex shop. after several minutes of hilarity at the sick shit on the walls one of my friends asks if the retailer can show him some dildos, and turn them on. the retailer does so obligingly and hilarity ensues. after this we found ourselves in yet another sex shop, but this time with $1 preview booths. ever the perverts that we are we decided to see what the hubub was all about. but, after we all decided it was fucking gross in these stall like movie theatres, we put the one dollar in and the 4 of us gather around the door, outside the room to watch 30 seconds of top quality porno, actually, it was a hilarious outtaking of a footjob video, more laughter ensued.
saturday was action packed with sleeping until 1.30 and then going food shopping all by myself like the big boy i am. afterwhich i found myself in the car on the way to the palisades to see the departed(good movie by the way)
sunday i did nothing
there you have it, a richly detailed account of my life the past few days, i hope you enjoyed
so friday. friday was my friend ashley's birthday (ashley is a guy...funny name huh?). ashley approaches me in school and asks me if i would like to go to the city with him and a couple people for his birthday, i kindly oblige. later, as i am driving ashley home while we wait for the 4.05 train, he asks me to pull over so he can buy a pipe at cvs. once bought i learned a valuble lesson about pipes, ashley doesnt know how to use one (of course neither do i but from my vast experience with the marijuanna pipe i had an idea) so we schmoke it and then realize we only have 25 minutes till the train leaves, plenty of time. as we are driving there our friend hallissey calls and says he may not be able to make the 4.05 trian but says if he really rushes he may be able to make it. so we get there, meet up with mike g, buy our tickets and wait, just as chris arrives and starts to buy his tickets the train approaches, and then leaves because the machine took too long so we had to wait for the 4.30 train, fun. once in the city we take a look down canal street for something cool, anything really. my friend ashley tells us that he wants to buy a fake rolex but we cant find one. once we had given up and were on the way somewhere else, a chinese man standing on a stoop mutters "rolex, rolex." intrigued by the dark figure we approached and said we were interested. he started leading us down one street then another and we finally ended up in front of a warehouse. he invited us all in to follow but the rest of my friends say no way. i figure we followed him all the way here itd be a shame to chicken out now, so i entered, followed by my less than brave companions. once inside the man tells us the watch is $55. ashley, always looking for a bargain, trys to get him to down the price to $35, the man says no, they try to make us stay but eventua;ly we start to leave. halfway down the hallway the man calls back ok, $35. ashley says no and we walk out. upon walking out we begin to strike ashley for being a dumbass, he explains that all he has is a hundred dollar bill and he was afraid they would rob him, what a dumbfuck. so afterwords we head towards grenich(sp?) village. there we see many porn like shops but also some cool shit too. we enter one shop and upon entry we realize we are in a sex shop. after several minutes of hilarity at the sick shit on the walls one of my friends asks if the retailer can show him some dildos, and turn them on. the retailer does so obligingly and hilarity ensues. after this we found ourselves in yet another sex shop, but this time with $1 preview booths. ever the perverts that we are we decided to see what the hubub was all about. but, after we all decided it was fucking gross in these stall like movie theatres, we put the one dollar in and the 4 of us gather around the door, outside the room to watch 30 seconds of top quality porno, actually, it was a hilarious outtaking of a footjob video, more laughter ensued.
saturday was action packed with sleeping until 1.30 and then going food shopping all by myself like the big boy i am. afterwhich i found myself in the car on the way to the palisades to see the departed(good movie by the way)
sunday i did nothing
there you have it, a richly detailed account of my life the past few days, i hope you enjoyed