(no subject)
Insha’Allaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Men of this City, men of the faith-
COME TO BABAAAAAAAAAA!
The most beautiful flowers, the most obedient souls! Wives, sisters, my daughters will bring joy to your homes! I would not speak of dowry, but if I did I’d start with you, my good man, I would not give them for less than a dozen cameeeeels each.
Look, look - this one, she is a beauty! Baba’s girl, Baba’s lovely, oooooh, but how she eats. Eat less, girl, less-less! There is an evil spirit bringing ruin in your stomach, girl, he’ll eat your husband if you don’t tame it.
And my next girl, she is silent. You can cut her hand off, and she will keep her husband’s secrets. A good wife, a noble soul, a blessing! But mind her claws, for when she fights the other wives, no-no, she is made for first wife, or nothing, my Sakura! She will kill the others, a lion, you know, a lioness!
My Esther, she is sweet and nurturing: a good wife, but muzzle her, my man, keep her at your foot with whip and gold!
This one? This one is plain, this one is ugly, but no man will take this one from your roof! AS DEVOTED AS A DOG, la, Baba's girls, this one will chew your ankle off before letting you kick him out! Faithful, Baba has taught him to wear a dress well, do not worry, do not worry, Baba knows these kinks, shhhhhhhh, a man has his needs...
And still there are a thousand curses on my house - look at her, look at her! Look how she carries herself - and she’s old, 17 soon and she goes unengaged, so old, so old! You have angered Allah with your impudent words, oh, Baba should have you whipped well, we’d make sure to pass a nice cotton bud on the area after and oil the skin all pretty so you still tan well! Unless… which one was it? Which one of you she-demons jinxed her to go unwed? Jealousy, jealousy, aaaaaaah! If only you were all like Lucy, whom Allah has blessed with a generous bosom to give milk for her children, and the Sultan’s eye to watch over them all! Ah, Lucy, how you give strength to Baba!
Ah, but if the boy, the son, the heir - if he did that too! But he crushed Baba’s heart with his soft, squeaky voice and his cut- …well, Baba does not speak of it. Allah wanted Baba to have only girls, so in His wisdom, He made even the boy a girl. That was Allah’s wish, and His word is mighty.
Quick, quick! Little one, stop crying, bring the sacrifice lambs, burn pistachio and incense, the suitors will be coming, THE SUITORS WILL BE COMING!
SULTAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
Sultan and Sultana, blessings on your house! Have you seen my girls, Sultan? They would carry your seed to the next generations n-not that Baba would know much about that, Sultan! New flowers, Sultan, you want a garden, all men do! They’ll bring joy to you in your beautiful old age, Sultana ♥
GIRLS FROM BABA! GOOD WIVES!
[ooc: if you want your char as another daughter / son / relative / guard / whatnot, just say so and jump on! As a side note, all apologies if this post offends anyone from a cultural or religious perspective.]