Feel Good vs Do Good.
A much loved friend posted this on FaceBlech today:
"Put a heart (♥) on your wall without comment, only a heart. Then send this message to all your friends - only the women. Next, place a heart on the wall of the person who sent this message to you. And if someone asks you why you have so many hearts on your wall, do not reply. This is only for women to remember that this is the week to remember and care about breast cancer. And that we should always think about it."
I object to this sort of thing for a number of reasons.
Firstly, I object to the idea that breast cancer is a Women-Only issue. I see it as doing three things:
1. It implies that cancer only affects the victim. By behaving as though breast cancer were some sort of secret women's business, we deny that men are affected by the well being and health of their partner/mother/sister/daughter/friend/etc.
2. It perpetuates the myth that only women suffer from breast cancer. I doubt that there are very many people in the western world who are unaware that breast cancer exists and that it can kill. But I'm perfectly sure that the majority of men in the western world are unaware that they too can get breast cancer, let alone how to self check for it.
3. It implies that breast cancer has some sort of special status that other cancers don't, as being "the female cancer" that women should be worried about, with the implicit idea that other cancers don't target women and are less important. Actually, endometrial/uterine cancer is far more dangerous, has a much higher death rate, is less known about, is harder to detect early and is specific to women.
In addition to that, this sort of game gets under my skin and niggles at me, simply because it does absolutely nothing productive, other than give the poster a vaguely warm glow that they did something. I feel the same way about the flurry to put pink ribbons in icons and sig lines during October - I just don't see the point. I'll leave the whole 'pink ribbon rip-off' for another rant (suffice to say, very little from the sale actually goes to breast cancer research: what little money actually is donated often goes to 'breast cancer awareness', whatever that is) and stick today to this kind of 'feel good posting'.
This is what I posted in response:
"Darling, I love you and I love the sentiment, but I'm not going to play. You know that I've lost 3 immediate family members to cancer and nearly lost a fourth and fifth; this is a cause very close to my heart. But thoughts do nothing to help the cause. I don't buy 'pink' products and I certainly don't put pink ribbons on my internet profiles - I donate money directly to cancer research and I offer my time once a year as a volunteer to actually help sufferers and their families. I love that you care, but this does nothing except give people a fluffy glow. Now, here's a challenge - donate a coin (you pick the denomination) for every heart you get back. THAT I'll be in on!" (Edited slightly for clarity)
The first response that got (not from the original poster) was to say they didn't want to upset me, but that getting the information out was half the battle, people needed to know breast cancer is a killer, and that there are places you can donate money to, with the addition that people can't donate money to something they don't know exists. Which is rather my point, as I explained:
"You aren't upsetting me at all, in fact, you're adding weight to my argument. Putting a heart on your profile, ESPECIALLY if you say nothing about it, does nothing to inform people. Provide links to information on free cancer health care, details on effective breast examinations, places to donate directly, places to volunteer, etc. I'm also not wild about promoting the idea that breast cancer is a women-only issue; not only are men affected by their partners/mothers/daughters/etc getting it, men can also get breast cancer, for which there is FAR more ignorance.
sorry if I've hijacked your thread. I know you are doing this with positivity and love, but I can't support something that exists to make people feel better about doing nothing productive."
The bottom line is, I see a lot of people making a big fuss about breast cancer awareness, without actually doing anything about breast cancer itself. There seems to be this idea that by yelling BREAST CANCER! THINK ABOUT IT! something happens. But we don't see the ads on TV any more showing how to self-test for breast cancer, I don't know why. That's certainly how I became aware of the issue, and how to check my breasts for changes, and that I should do it regularly, and that if I notice a change, I should discuss it with my doctor and why. Seeing those ads normalised the behaviour for me. There was a recent British documentary on the ABC about breastfeeding, and one of the things it showed was that the majority of teenage mothers in the UK know that breastfeeding is better for their baby, but will not consider breastfeeding, even though they feel guilty for it. The reason? Breastfeeding wasn't the norm for younger mothers - they didn't see it, they didn't see high profile women doing it. They knew the line "breast is best", even accepted the truth and logic behind it, but as they didn't see it, they didn't do it.
That's rather how I feel about the whole 'breast cancer awareness' thing - we're all very aware, and yet we're still horribly underinformed about cancer as a whole - be it detection, treatment, support or financing research. I don't want another platitude telling me to think about cancer - having lost both parents, one grandparent, nearly lost my sister and my uncle, and with an ex-father-in-law fighting it at the moment, I'd love to never have to think about cancer again! Thinking about it does nothing! Give me the details - tell me how I can get more information on the detection of cancer, give me information on how to help those who live in countries without free healthcare (hello USA, I'm talking to you!) to pay their treatment bills or to get free mammograms, inform me about the volunteer programs to help cancer sufferers and their families - ESPECIALLY that last one!
And with that in mind, I'm putting a call out to my Aussie friends - when Denise was sick, the hardest part for her was energy levels. Housework, garden, study, all went to pot because she didn't have the energy to fight both the cancer and deal with routine, mundane tasks. It was the same with Dad - he had no energy, and Jan (my step-mother) was focussed on looking after him. The big difference between the two was that Dad died 12 weeks after he was diagnosed and Denise died 2 years after.
So I'd like to start a foundation of sorts, a movement, if you like - a group that organises people to give supportive help to cancer patients and other people with other long-term, degenerative illnesses (e.g. Multiple Sclerosis.) Basically, set up a volunteer body where people can offer their help for a day or a week, or whatever, where they go out and do gardening, wash dishes, do the vacuuming, do odd-jobs and small repairs around the house, and so on. Pretty much bob-a-job by adults, for free.
So my question - how do I go about setting it up, what are the legal ramifications, who should I talk to, and how can the idea be improved on? Would people need training, especially for repairs and the like? Would they need to be vetted? What are the foreseeable problems and how can they be addressed? Am I lunatic for even thinking like this? Is there a body that already does it that needs better promotion?
"Put a heart (♥) on your wall without comment, only a heart. Then send this message to all your friends - only the women. Next, place a heart on the wall of the person who sent this message to you. And if someone asks you why you have so many hearts on your wall, do not reply. This is only for women to remember that this is the week to remember and care about breast cancer. And that we should always think about it."
I object to this sort of thing for a number of reasons.
Firstly, I object to the idea that breast cancer is a Women-Only issue. I see it as doing three things:
1. It implies that cancer only affects the victim. By behaving as though breast cancer were some sort of secret women's business, we deny that men are affected by the well being and health of their partner/mother/sister/daughter/friend/etc.
2. It perpetuates the myth that only women suffer from breast cancer. I doubt that there are very many people in the western world who are unaware that breast cancer exists and that it can kill. But I'm perfectly sure that the majority of men in the western world are unaware that they too can get breast cancer, let alone how to self check for it.
3. It implies that breast cancer has some sort of special status that other cancers don't, as being "the female cancer" that women should be worried about, with the implicit idea that other cancers don't target women and are less important. Actually, endometrial/uterine cancer is far more dangerous, has a much higher death rate, is less known about, is harder to detect early and is specific to women.
In addition to that, this sort of game gets under my skin and niggles at me, simply because it does absolutely nothing productive, other than give the poster a vaguely warm glow that they did something. I feel the same way about the flurry to put pink ribbons in icons and sig lines during October - I just don't see the point. I'll leave the whole 'pink ribbon rip-off' for another rant (suffice to say, very little from the sale actually goes to breast cancer research: what little money actually is donated often goes to 'breast cancer awareness', whatever that is) and stick today to this kind of 'feel good posting'.
This is what I posted in response:
"Darling, I love you and I love the sentiment, but I'm not going to play. You know that I've lost 3 immediate family members to cancer and nearly lost a fourth and fifth; this is a cause very close to my heart. But thoughts do nothing to help the cause. I don't buy 'pink' products and I certainly don't put pink ribbons on my internet profiles - I donate money directly to cancer research and I offer my time once a year as a volunteer to actually help sufferers and their families. I love that you care, but this does nothing except give people a fluffy glow. Now, here's a challenge - donate a coin (you pick the denomination) for every heart you get back. THAT I'll be in on!" (Edited slightly for clarity)
The first response that got (not from the original poster) was to say they didn't want to upset me, but that getting the information out was half the battle, people needed to know breast cancer is a killer, and that there are places you can donate money to, with the addition that people can't donate money to something they don't know exists. Which is rather my point, as I explained:
"You aren't upsetting me at all, in fact, you're adding weight to my argument. Putting a heart on your profile, ESPECIALLY if you say nothing about it, does nothing to inform people. Provide links to information on free cancer health care, details on effective breast examinations, places to donate directly, places to volunteer, etc. I'm also not wild about promoting the idea that breast cancer is a women-only issue; not only are men affected by their partners/mothers/daughters/etc getting it, men can also get breast cancer, for which there is FAR more ignorance.
sorry if I've hijacked your thread. I know you are doing this with positivity and love, but I can't support something that exists to make people feel better about doing nothing productive."
The bottom line is, I see a lot of people making a big fuss about breast cancer awareness, without actually doing anything about breast cancer itself. There seems to be this idea that by yelling BREAST CANCER! THINK ABOUT IT! something happens. But we don't see the ads on TV any more showing how to self-test for breast cancer, I don't know why. That's certainly how I became aware of the issue, and how to check my breasts for changes, and that I should do it regularly, and that if I notice a change, I should discuss it with my doctor and why. Seeing those ads normalised the behaviour for me. There was a recent British documentary on the ABC about breastfeeding, and one of the things it showed was that the majority of teenage mothers in the UK know that breastfeeding is better for their baby, but will not consider breastfeeding, even though they feel guilty for it. The reason? Breastfeeding wasn't the norm for younger mothers - they didn't see it, they didn't see high profile women doing it. They knew the line "breast is best", even accepted the truth and logic behind it, but as they didn't see it, they didn't do it.
That's rather how I feel about the whole 'breast cancer awareness' thing - we're all very aware, and yet we're still horribly underinformed about cancer as a whole - be it detection, treatment, support or financing research. I don't want another platitude telling me to think about cancer - having lost both parents, one grandparent, nearly lost my sister and my uncle, and with an ex-father-in-law fighting it at the moment, I'd love to never have to think about cancer again! Thinking about it does nothing! Give me the details - tell me how I can get more information on the detection of cancer, give me information on how to help those who live in countries without free healthcare (hello USA, I'm talking to you!) to pay their treatment bills or to get free mammograms, inform me about the volunteer programs to help cancer sufferers and their families - ESPECIALLY that last one!
And with that in mind, I'm putting a call out to my Aussie friends - when Denise was sick, the hardest part for her was energy levels. Housework, garden, study, all went to pot because she didn't have the energy to fight both the cancer and deal with routine, mundane tasks. It was the same with Dad - he had no energy, and Jan (my step-mother) was focussed on looking after him. The big difference between the two was that Dad died 12 weeks after he was diagnosed and Denise died 2 years after.
So I'd like to start a foundation of sorts, a movement, if you like - a group that organises people to give supportive help to cancer patients and other people with other long-term, degenerative illnesses (e.g. Multiple Sclerosis.) Basically, set up a volunteer body where people can offer their help for a day or a week, or whatever, where they go out and do gardening, wash dishes, do the vacuuming, do odd-jobs and small repairs around the house, and so on. Pretty much bob-a-job by adults, for free.
So my question - how do I go about setting it up, what are the legal ramifications, who should I talk to, and how can the idea be improved on? Would people need training, especially for repairs and the like? Would they need to be vetted? What are the foreseeable problems and how can they be addressed? Am I lunatic for even thinking like this? Is there a body that already does it that needs better promotion?