ON THE 5TH ANNIVERSERY OF MY MOMS PASSING

[anthonyvanpyre]

ON THE 5TH ANNIVERSERY OF MY MOTHERS DEATH. I REMEMBER THE THINGS SHE TAUGHT ME. SHE TAUGHT ME ABOUT MY HERITAGE. MADE SURE THAT I KNEW ABOUT MY NATIVE AMERICAN HERITAGE.WE WENT TO POWWOWS AND ATE FRYBREAD AND SHE MADE SHE I WENT TO INDIAN EDUCATION. I REMEMBER THE LESSON OF FAMILY. IT DIDNT MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I PISSED HER OFF I KNEW SHE STILL LOVED ME. AND IT DIDNT MATTER IF THEY WERE BLOOD RELATED OR FOSTER THEY WERE STILL FAMILY. MANY KIDS PASSED THROUGH OUR HOUSE AND EVEN TO THIS DAY THEY STILL CALL HER MA. I LEARNED TO LOVE NATURE FROM MY MOM. I REMEMBER OUR TRIPS TO LUMBERMENS MONUMENT AND CABINS ON HOUGHTON LAKE. TRIPS TO MACKINAW ISLAND AND OTHER PLACE. MY MOM TAUGHT ME TO STAND UP FOR MYSELF AND BELIEVE IN MYSELF. WHEN I WAS YOUNG THE LIBRARY WOULDNT LET ME CHECK OUT BOOKS THEY DEEMED WERE ADULT BECAUSE THEY SAID I COULDNT READ THEM. MY MOM DIDNT LET THEM GET AWAY WITH THIS. SHE MADE THEM PICK A BOOK FROM MY STACK OF 30 AND TOLD THEM TO TURN TO ANY PAGE. AND CHOOSE ANY PARAGRAPH. I READ THAT PARAGRAPH AND NEVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH CHECKING OUT BOOKS AFTER THAT. MY MOM GAVE ME MY LOVE OF CARD GAMES AND GAMBLING. I REMEMBER WEDDINGS FUNERALS AND GRADUATIONS ON MY MOMS SIDE OF THE FAMILY. IT DIDNT MATTER WHAT IT WAS THE CARDS WERE OUT, POKER WAS PLAYED AND THE STAKES HIGH. I STILL REMEMBER MY UNCLE HAVING TO SIGN OVER HIS GM PAYCHECK AND HAVING TO PUT IT IN THE POT CAUSE HE DOUBLE BURNED ON IN BETWEEN. MY MOM ALWAYS LET ME BE WHO I WAS OR WHO I THOUGHT I WAS. SHE MAY NOT HAVE UNDERSTOOD IT ALL THE TIME AND ITS A LESSON I CARRY WITH ME TO THIS DAY. MY MOM TAUGHT ME TO TAKE RISKS AND THAT SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THINGS YOURSELF BEFORE THEY WILL CHANGE FOR YOU. THIS ALSO IS A LESSON I HAVE TRIED TO PASS ON. MY MOM USED TO WORK RETAIL AND THEN SHE WENT TO COSMOTOLOGY SCHOOL TO LEARN TO CUT HAIR. IT WAS A RISK BUT SHE DID IT AND SHE LOVED IT. I REMEMBER ONE TIME I WAS DRIVING DOWN THE HIGHWAY WITH MY MOM AND WELL THE MEMORIES A LITTLE HAZY SO I CANT REMEMBER THE EXACT TRUCK. IT MAY HAVE BEEN A SEMI. IT WAS LONG AGO AND FAR AWAY. WHAT I DO REMEMBER ABOUT THE EVENT WAS THIS. ME AND MY MOM TOOLING DOWN THE ROAD PASSING BEER BACK AND FORTH TO THE TRUCK NEXT TO HER. LIKE I SAID SHE WAS A RISK TAKER. MY MOM HAD A LOVE OF GAMBLING. CARDS BINGO SCRATCH OFFS. IF IT WAS GAMBLILNG IT WAS FUN. NOW WHILE I DONT DO THAT MANY SCRATCHOFFS (AND HAVENT PLAYED BINGO IN FOREVER EXCEPT AT WORK) I STILL DO PLAY CARDS. I REMEMBER MY MOM USED TO LOVE TO PLAY CRIBBAGE BUT SHE NEVER HAD THE PATIENCE TO TEACH ME. SO I WENT AND GRABBED A BOOK AND LEARNED HOW TO PLAY. MY MOM WAS SUPRISED WHEN I ASKED HER TO PLAY. EVEN MORE SUPRISED WHEN I SKUNKED HER THE FIRST GAME. IT WAS A STORY SHE PASSED ON TO OTHERS BECAUSE SHE WAS PROUD. PROUD THAT I TOOK THE INITATIVE AND LEARNED ON MY OWN AND BEAT AN OLD PRO. SOME OF MY INITATIVE I GET FROM HER SOME FROM MY DAD. AS MY MOM GOT OLDER AND SICKER AND HAD TO USE A WALKER SHE HAD FAMILY ONCE AGAIN HELP HER. THE GRANDCHILDREN PAINTED IT UP AND PUT MOMS NAME ON IT. IT DIDNT SAY CHARMAINE. IT SAID FREE SPIRIT. BECAUSE THATS WHAT SHE WAS. AND THATS WHAT SHE TAUGHT ME TO BE. AS SHE GOT SICKER AND WE TOOK CARE OF HER THINGS HAPPENED AS THEY WOULD. SHE TAUGHT ME NEVER TO BE EMBARRASED BY WHAT HAPPENED. SHE NEVER WANTED TO BE A BURDON ON OTHERS AND SHE NEVER WAS. IM IN THE FIELD OF WORK IM IN BECAUSE OF MY MOM. WHEN I CAME BACK FROM THE MILITARY SHE WANTED ME TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL. I TOLD HER ID MAKE HER A DEAL. SHE BUYS ME A COMPUTER AND ILL GO BACK TO SCHOOL. SHE BOUGHT ME ONE AND I WENT TO SCHOOL WHICH DIDNT TAKE. FIRST SEMESTER I WAS OUT 3 WEEKS WITH STOMACH FLU. SECOND SEMESTER I LOST MY AID BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS MORE IMPORTANT TO TAKE CARE OF MY SICK MOM THEN GO TO CLASS. DO I REGRET THE DECISION? NOT A CHANCE IN FUCKING HELL. ID DO IT AGAIN IN A HEART BEAT. I REMEMBER WHEN MY MOM FOUND OUT SHE COULD HAVE GOT A LASER PRINTER FOR 100 DOLLARS MORE WHEN SHE GOT ME THE COMPUTER. SHE WAS MAD AND WENT BACK TO THE STORE AND MADE THEM GIVE IT TO HER. AND AT A DISCOUNT. YES FOLKS THIS IS WHERE I GET IT FROM AND WHERE I LEARNED IT FROM. MY MOM TAUGHT ME MANY LESSONS. TO MANY TO NAME HERE. IN THE END SHE TAUGHT ME DIGNITY IN DEATH.

IF THERES LESSONS SHE TAUGHT ME SHE WOULD LIKE ME TO PASS ON. ID LIKE TO THINK THEY ARE THESE.
KEEP YOUR WORD TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY.
PEOPLE FUCK UP BUT THEIR HUMAN. ITS NEVER TO LATE TO FORGIVE NOT NECESARLY FORGET.
NO MATTER HOW MUCH FAMILY PISSES YOU OFF THEIR FAMILY.
YOUR NEVER TO OLD OR YOUNG TO CHANGE RISK GROW OR LOVE
THE ORDER YOU CHOOSE TO DO THESE IS YOUR OWN.
IN THE END THEIRS NEVER ENOUGH TIME. DO WHAT YOU CAN. DO WHAT YOU LOVE. BE WHO YOU ARE AND LET OTHERS BE WHO THEY ARE. UNLESS OF COURSE THEIR BAD EVIL PEOPLE :)
2 FRIENDS OF MINE RECENTLY HAD THEIR MOTHERS PASS ON AND ONE ASKED ME A QUESTION. I ANSWERED IT TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY. TO WHICH ILL SAY AGAIN IT MAY GET EASIER. IT MAY HAPPEN LESS BUT IT WILL ALWAYS HAPPEN.

ILL ADD THIS ALSO. WHEN EVERYONE ELSE FORGETS. YOU WILL REMEMBER.
EVEN THOUGH IT WAS MY FRIENDS BIRTHDAY EVEN THOUGH WE WERE DRINKING. I REMEMBER. AND THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN UP LAST NITE BUT FB WASNT WORKING WITH ME.

LOVE YOU MOM DONT WORRY I WONT BE THERE SOON I GOT TO MUCH TO DO HERE. LIKE LIVE EVERY DAY TO MAKE YOU PROUD OF ME AND BE THE MAN YOU RAISED ME AND WANTED ME TO BE.