somewhere underwater, maybe u can find my heart, that's where I threw it after you have torn it out
Call it sad, call it pathetic, or just call it human nature.
Due to several different events in my life I have very strong walls.
But occasionally, in my dreams, I re-live certain events that shape me to the person I am today. I would love to list them, and as open as I am, I feel there are still certain things that should be kept private.
But here's a situation that has shaped me significantly. I have great friends in Dave, AJ, and Kraz. I have the best girl I could ever hope for or ever imagine to have. So why do I occasionally have dreams of the two friends who deemed me as being an "acceptable loss"? For example, people who go to war and die for their country. Their government mourns them, but views them as being "acceptable losses". A restaurant's buy one, get one free coupon. That to them is an "acceptable loss". A friend who's there no matter what, unconditionally, who would take a bullet for his friends, shouldn't become an "acceptable loss". I dunno, it's been years. It shouldn't even be a big deal anymore. We've seen each other since, and it's fun while it lasted, but since I last saw them, which was March 04, there has been virtually no contact. I called to say happy birthday to one of them last Nov. as well as some other phone calls but no reply. I did send an email in June of this year asking how they were doing, and I got a short but promising reply saying all is well, new job new state, new number call me blah blah blah. The email I sent back wasn't return, nor was the message left on the machine. Nov. is approaching again. Another happy birthday message will probably be left. Another happy birthday message will probably go unanswered. I debated many times about sending another email, but what good will it do. I have a great life, but still it's hard to let some things go.
It was just a dream though. It occurs every few months to remind me who I am and how I got here.
Like I said before... Call it sad, call it pathetic, or just call it human nature, but I miss my friends.
Due to several different events in my life I have very strong walls.
But occasionally, in my dreams, I re-live certain events that shape me to the person I am today. I would love to list them, and as open as I am, I feel there are still certain things that should be kept private.
But here's a situation that has shaped me significantly. I have great friends in Dave, AJ, and Kraz. I have the best girl I could ever hope for or ever imagine to have. So why do I occasionally have dreams of the two friends who deemed me as being an "acceptable loss"? For example, people who go to war and die for their country. Their government mourns them, but views them as being "acceptable losses". A restaurant's buy one, get one free coupon. That to them is an "acceptable loss". A friend who's there no matter what, unconditionally, who would take a bullet for his friends, shouldn't become an "acceptable loss". I dunno, it's been years. It shouldn't even be a big deal anymore. We've seen each other since, and it's fun while it lasted, but since I last saw them, which was March 04, there has been virtually no contact. I called to say happy birthday to one of them last Nov. as well as some other phone calls but no reply. I did send an email in June of this year asking how they were doing, and I got a short but promising reply saying all is well, new job new state, new number call me blah blah blah. The email I sent back wasn't return, nor was the message left on the machine. Nov. is approaching again. Another happy birthday message will probably be left. Another happy birthday message will probably go unanswered. I debated many times about sending another email, but what good will it do. I have a great life, but still it's hard to let some things go.
It was just a dream though. It occurs every few months to remind me who I am and how I got here.
Like I said before... Call it sad, call it pathetic, or just call it human nature, but I miss my friends.